Marching Band Memes - Blog Posts
A Short History of Marching Band Cults.
Why are we like this? Good question! Let's start in the beginning.
By the beginning, I mean middle school, by the way. Middle school - when you start embracing the fact that band is your life now and you cant escape it! All your friends have either left you or joined band because you dont have a life!
Then, high school rolls around. Most of middle school band wants their friends back at this point, so they abandon band and do, idk, cheerleading or smth for popularity!
Then there are the diehard band nerds. These people stay in band through high school. They, near the conclusion of band camp, are admitted into the Marching Band Cult.
A cult is extreme for this, you say? Ah, that's where you're wrong! We regularly worship our Marching Band Gods and pray that we dont face plant. We hold a sacrafice of one trumpet or flute player a year, as their sections are too crowded anyway. We bleed for band, especially when our instruments are wanted for attempted murder, but we love our children. Most of our instruments are named really weirdly. We have led the new ones into this trap.
The ones who esca- leave think that they made a mistake joining in the first place, but how wrong they are. As you join us, the attention whistle sounds, a circle forms in the background, you are home.
A Piccolo Trumpet.
Yes, you can actually put a trumpet mouthpiece in a piccolo, and yes, it does work.
Marching Quotes #1
"Do you think if I just stood in the road a car would hit me?"
"Why is there a frog on your head"
"We look like a cult."
"We are a cult."
"Could you please take the frog off of your head its distracting everyone."
"Its suns out guns out bois."
"Ooh you looking extra thicc today"
"JOIN THE ARMY"
"I was twirling and your locker was in my way!"
"Wow that sounds like jazz band!"
"Your trumpet is a dad."
"I hate my section almost as much as I hate myself."
"That's not funky fresh. It's the opposite of funky fresh... not funky fresh."
"Let's switch trumpets"
"IS THAT A PHONE?"
"I definitely played all of those notes correctly."
As a trumpet player I feel obligated to make this post because I haven’t seen anyone make one for trumpet yet so...
Apple
A very nice start! He is very shiny. He seems to be missing the first slide saddle and also some spit valves. His bell is rather large a trumpet his size, but overall, a very beautiful boy! 8/10
Where are his slides? A trumpet is not just buttons, mind you. His tubing has disappeared. 2/10
Microsoft
His valves do not go anywhere??? There are still no slides, as well. The black outline gives it a bulkier look and it does not suit him well. -2/10
Samsung
Ok slightly back on track here. His tubing is better than the last two, yet still no slides. His bell is oversized again, but this seems to be becoming a trend. 4/10
And we’ve fallen behind again. At least his bell is normal size. The tubing and slides have fallen victim to the emoji norms. 0/10
aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA -328050982/10
Wow, he has a ring! It is an oversized ring to match his oversized bell, but a ring nonetheless. His tubing is gone, but his mouthpiece looks relatively normal. 3/10
JoyPixels
He looks like a trumpet! His bell is flat, but he has slides!!!! And tubing!!! 8/10
emojidex
That’s a trumpet! His bell is a bit round, but his tubing and slides are on point! He even has spit valves! 9/10
Messenger
Just when we were getting on track. His bell is obviously dented in some way if you can see the other side of it. He has no tubing, either, but his mouthpiece looks okay. 1/10
LG
I’ve never seen this instrument before, what’s it called? -3589053425092346587/10
HTC
I have been told that standing a trumpet on it’s bell damages it. His tubing is nonexistent, and his mouthpiece looks like a mushroom. 0/10
Mozilla
His tubing is thicc. Where is his mouthpiece? And slides? 2/10
SoftBank
That is a good looking boi! He has no slides, but he looks better than the last few and, frankly, I was excited to see a good-ish one. 4/10
Docomo
Uh, it’s trumpet line art, but okay then. He has no slides tho. 3/10
Well this has taken some time and my files are now cluttered with gross trumpet emojis. Have a nice day, frens!