Joel Smallishbeans - Blog Posts

They would drop the soundtrack of the year

So when exactly in Hermitcraft season 10 are these two gonna make a bomb ass collab?

I will never not love Lizzie and Joel’s dynamic in the Life Series she has tried to kill him so many times it’s not even a surprise anymore and he forgives her every single time. Joel refuses to even agree to let someone else kill Lizzie because he knows she’ll watch his video and find out and then he’ll be kicked to the couch with the dog. The biggest argument between the family was about how Joel kept giving Lizzie diamonds for no reason and Gem wanted him to stop being hopelessly in love for two seconds so he’d stop giving resources to his #1 attacker. Joel wasted half an episode because he wanted to run at Lizzie in slow motion like a rom com.

One time Lizzie THOUGHT Joel killed her in MCC and she yelled at him through the wall that she wanted a divorce. Joel realized he had multiple men obsessed with him on Hermitcraft so he built a statue dedicated to his beautiful fish goddess wife. They were a part of a roleplay server where their characters didn’t know each other and immediately had a wedding so their characters would be canonically married as well. Lizzie made the wedding an entire arc of the musical.

No one is doing it like them and they shouldn’t even try

I know we're all thinking about celestial symbolism for joel rn, so despite the fact that i think it would be very funny if we all just used the fucking car itself, i propose "The Chariot(eer)", a constellation known as Auriga, which is latin for chariot(eer), because it fits both the car and the celestial theme.

Bonus points: it's right by the Gemini constellation, and it's biggest star is Capella, the goat.

Insanely normal Freudian slip

*The song Giant Woman from Steven Universe begin playing*

i'm not immune to size diff jizzie