Jacob Seed - Blog Posts

Three wise monkeys

Brought to you by the "Documentaries From Hell" series

To leave this purgatory, you must see no evil hear no evil speak no evil

only lil shits bring pepsi

Staci makes Jacob go check the creepy basement at 3am because ✌ ƃuᴉɥʇǝɯos pɹɐǝɥ ǝɥ✌

And Jacob always goes through a whole lot of trouble for nothin'

But that's okay, S̷̢̬̖̱͔͚͔͈͗͗̓͗̏̇̃̈̿̚t̸̮̮͎̫̓a̵̰͖̠̝̗͌̇̾͆̂͒̀̄̌̍̑̿̆̚͝ç̷̨̛͉̭͉̰̫̙̜͔̜̦̪̪̂͂͂̒͑̅͂͜į̸̜͙͔͕̭̲̝̃͗̽̓ ̷̖̩̯̹̩̰̲̖̗͗̋̅̈́̓̐̅̉͌̔̀͊̑̀̐͜k̷̢̧͔̺͔̦̖̈̀͒̉́̈́̒̉ň̵͓̦̝̫̜̊͒͜ǫ̸̢̫̦̞̲̺͎̝͙͇̥̥̲̓̀̀̀́͑͐͒̅̾͂̀͝͝w̸̤̖͉̞̼̲̳̯̒s̶̢͈̫̦̮͖̣͓̻̱͑̊̊̓͘͝ͅ ̶̢̧̛̱̯̤̝̳̭̗̖̜̟̇̓̾̾́̑͂̚̕͠b̴̧̲̬̠̜͙̟̱̭̘̭̦̿̋͗̍̇̄͋͌͘͜͝͠͠ȇ̷̲̼̝͊̈́͘͝ṱ̶̟̦̮͙͔̜̰̫̼̮͈̇̌̎͂́̓̚t̵̢̛̗̬͕́̂͋̒̕e̴̛̜͚̖̭̜̬̹͍̱̾̊̽̔͂̽͑͒̑͘r̵̨̡̛͕̭̬̦̞̻̺̟̙͍̾̎̃̎͛̓̾̑̐̍̏̋̊ͅ ̶̨̨̢͎̠͓̺͙͇͉͓̻͎̏̈̀͌́̓͑̈ͅṉ̷̢̠̥͕̩̞̗̃̐̾̐͋̃̐̆̎̃͋̽̚͘̕o̴̪͍̍̓̿̚ẅ̵̡̱́̃̒̄́̊̆

Imagine letting your partner become unavailable because of a random skunk

Oops, I did it again I played with you Pratt, got lost in the game Oh baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent

or Jacob being (〃￣ω￣〃)ゞ

I was thinking about this post the whole time while recording these.

Pratt is indeed blubblubblubing and has no intention of staying in those haunted waters, no sir

Puts you in deathroll (affectionately)

On second thought, I present to you the concept of the tyrannic TA and his unfortunate professor

Staci: Jacob, let's play hide and seed

I hide from your bullshit

you seed therapy

Father, into your hands I commend my spirit Father, into your hands Why have you forsaken me? In your eyes forsaken me In your thoughts forsaken me In your heart forsaken me, oh

When logic and rebellion Have all but gone astray And Jacob's wolves are circling And John's tattoos mark your way Remember what the Father said: "Help me Faith Help me Faith"

Keeping Up with the Seedians

So I was googling something and saw that the Russian localization of the game does not call the brothers:

Джейкоб (Jacob) Джозеф (Joseph) Джон (John)

but instead uses the Slavic biblical variations of the names

Иаков (Iakov) Иосиф (Iosif) Иоанн (Ioann)

And I realized that the same can be done in Armenian. Thus, I present to you the Seedian family:

Հակոբոս (Hakobos) Հովսեփ (Hovsep) Հովհաննես (Hovhannes)

Among these three, the biblical and modern forms are the same except for Hakobos vs Hakob

they give "the tyrannic professor and his unfortunate TA" energy in every universe

and I love them for that

let me catch your dreams

let me have your back

I can still hear his voice...

gay gay homosexual gay

hakob: it's nice to finally meet your colleagues, deputy bratt

bratt: you son of a…

get outta here, pumpkin.

friendship with jacob has ended, now jacob is my best friend.

what if… we touched heads in a doomsday cult?

Hahah, jus kidding…

Unless

when the shit your homie says is so unhinged you have to double take

What are you looking at? Helicopter. Hell yeah. What are you looking at? Helicopter. Hell yeah.

mansplain (staci) manipulate (jacob) malewife (both?!)

Who's a good gay? Yes you are! Yes you are!

Jacob: "Cull the flowers ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚."

Staci: "okay grandpa let's get you to Eden"

like what you see, Hakob?

the uncontrollable jacobian urge to hug a smol pratt

two bros chillin’ at a hot spring 1.5 feet apart

am i interrupting something here?

a man is dreaming

my partner and I saw you from across the bar, and we really hate your vibe. start. running.

this has some strong Timon and Pumbaa vibe to it

Only you

Staci: *looks at everyone around*

Jacob: 1, 2, eyes on the target (pratt)