random ramble idfk
self destruction is an illusion of self control i think. like sure you’re in charge of how bad you get and how you worsen yourself but in the long run it won’t be your decision to make ykwim. it gets out of your hands and the destruction controls you. so instead of self destructing for some semblance of consistency or control over your life you can indulge in self betterment. like do things that make you happy, you can be in control of that too and it’ll be better for you in the long run :P