I Need To ⭐️rve - Blog Posts
My girlfriend, (she doesn’t know we’re together yet,) won’t love me until I’m pure and sk1nny.
Ate 500 cals today. My mom forced me to break my fast early, I feel so bad, I got all mad at her. :(
Who should I trust?
Losertown says I’ll reach my GW3 on 9/11/25 and Fasty says I’ll reach it on 7/31/25.
I hate my mind sometimes, why did I just have a dream I broke my fast, and I woke up all panicked, and guilty like I actually did.
I can't believe I was actually considering thinking about thinking to consider recovery, when my siblings apparently see me the way they do - and if all it took was that and a good scroll through Tumblr then I guess I really wouldn't be ready at all
I just want to sit next to the field leaning on her on a cool summer evening with a slight breeze allowing for light jackets and the music, chatter and light of the party we escaped from somewhere in the distance.
I want to hold her hand and taste the evening air and finally LIVE
Imagining, craving all that is so painful knowing I'm fat, thinking that all of the romance will be taken from that moment when all I can feel is myself jiggling as a fat blob next to her
I don't want feeling fat to overshadow what could be so many beautiful moments, because my body has taken so many of these from me
I just want to feel comfortable taking off my jacket to drape it around her shoulders instead of using it to cover my thighs and belly
That's the true reason I've got to be skinny until summer, heck, now, as soon as possible.
not a day goes by w/o monster <33
this one is my fav, n it only has 10 cals ^^
my first meal of the day lmao
i also ate a kinder pinguin which my friend forced me to eat </3
I need to treat food as a fuel not as a comfort.
Food is there to keep me alive not to taste good.
How am I at my lw but my photos from before seem better like I was skinnier then? :((
I think my mind is plying games with me.
My new plan
Give me suggestions pls <3
I got a little frustrated today since I wasn’t loosing any weight for the past days and ate a normal calorie and didn’t p/urge afterward, but went to a short walk. Hopefully when I restrict again from tomorrow I’ll see some changes 🤞
Honestly I‘m at the point in my life, that I know I don’t even deserve food cause I’m a lost cause. I don’t really add anything valuable to this world and I don’t want to waste food, time, energy and resources, when probably someone else could use them and add actual value to the world.
Don’t wanna jinx it, but I‘m so close to my lw :)))
Recently my fyp has been filled with people spraying clones or other chemical sprays on foods to avoid binging. I think I should try it!
I feel like such a phetatic human being. I think the reason why I want to reach my gw so bad is, that then for once I can achieve something in my life. I can’t wait for that day.
Just found out about this girl, who also has 4n4. she is 18 and 37kg.
I am so fucking jealous!
Started a f4st. I‘m gonna increase the duration every time the last one is filled, starting by 13 hours :))
Hopefully this will help! Gonna update later.
I need someone to tie me up to my bed and I don’t mean in a k!nky way.
I just don’t want to go to the kitchen again 😭
I know that the skinny in me hates my fat decisions.
Guess who is f4t again?
I will do absolutely anything for this 🦢🩵
I gained 1.3kg in three days of binging! That is insane. I hate myself.