Tactic to earn a degree? Unfortunately only possible.
Tactic to stay alive during those period?Toxic af, but still useful and that should be considered insane.
The alien should be alarming others to lower our sick standards of memorizing unbelievable amount of information that will no longer be valid in the next five years.
What would be alien's reactions to battery acid. Y'know that thing with red bull marinated sour strips, energy drink plus coffee and a minimum of five beers. Read more at your own risk.
Alien: Human, I can't find the-
Human: *currently stoned*
Alien: ... What. Are you doing?
Human: seeing God.
Alien: how many?
Human: *raises one finger.*
Alien: ... Human. If my memory serves correct. It takes twenty.
Human: try a strip.
Alien: ... *processing, before taking a sour strip.*
Human: *still stoned*
Alien: *starts coughing.* WHAT IS IN THIS?
Human: that's battery acid. Marinated in red bull, put red bull into coffee. Uhm, ooh, had a gummy. And about. Hic. Five beers?
Alien: ... How did you make the marinade?
Human: fourth book, red leather.
Alien: ... it's called uni recipes.
Human: yep.
Alien: stoner pizza?
Human: fries on pizza.
Alien: ... reduce five cans of red bull, leave to cool before marinating for a minimum of three hours. Five days at maximum, because the caffeine will break down the glucose bonds?
Human: yep. Chem students are smart!
Alien: ... That's your battery acid?
Human: I'm on car acid.
Alien: ... Two cans of reduced Red Bull, 125ml per can. Reduced to 25ml put into your choice of coffee, reduce the coffee to 10ml.... Take one edible, one battery acid and the coffee concoction. Then down five beers reduced to... Half a bottle of beer. Or around one shot of tequila.
Human: *proud of themselves.*
Alien: ... I'd be horrified if I wasn't impressed.
Human: yeah, that's how I got my degree in uhh, neurology, bio chemistry and a few more Celciuses.
Alien: ... You made a recipe book and got an associates?
Human: I actually have. 27? bachelors, just from that shelf.
Alien: ... How are you-
Human: remember when I mentioned I'd figured out a way to be high and speak somewhat normally?
Alien: ... *glances at the bookshelf*
Human: give it a minute.
Alien: these are all acedemic papers. Aren't they?
Human: 1387 recipes. Times that by the number of java files on the USB that's labelled the same as the eight number of pie.
Alien: ...
Human: there's 40567 academic papers, not including the top and bottom shelves which are dictionaries, explanations and half of them have paper which explode upon contact with oxygen.
Alien: ... Most of this case is behind glass.
Human: mhm.
Alien: How did you even do this?
Human: mixture of car acid, ADHD, tunnel vision and crunching for two months.
Alien: crunching like.
Human: forgot to sleep for two months.
Alien: ...
Human: I went to hospital for about a year because of that.
Alien: I have so many questions, but I get the feeling this ain't common?
Human: my level of insane, no. Cramming for a stupid period and doing something wonderful somehow. Yes.
Alien: you're less high now huh?
Human: *making a hangover cure.* Mhmm, woke up around the time you noticed the glass.
Alien: how are you alive?
Human: good question. I don't know.