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Grosse Pointe Blank - Blog Posts

1 year ago

Movie Tag Game

Tagged in by @owlrageousjones! List seven favorite films, and then seven mutuals. (I'm going to whiff on the latter; sans the spouse, I don't have many movie buffs in my orbit.)

Favorite Movies

1. The Godfather (1972, dir. Francis Ford Coppola); 2. Batman Begins (2005, dir. Christopher Nolan); 3. The Dark Knight (2008, dir. Christopher Nolan); 4. Die Hard (1998, dir. John McTiernan).

There's a reason these four are grouped together! There was a time when my spouse struggled with falling asleep; and so we employed the above films as a soothing soundtrack, against which they could peacefully nod off.

(At least, as soothing as one might expect from a chorus of Chicago typewriters, eagerly punctuating Sonny Corleone; or John McClane, yelling intensely as he improvisationally repels down the side of Nakatomi Plaza.)

5. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997, dir. George Armitage).

An unusual blend of dark comedy, romance, and the occasional action set-piece; all set to a Gen X soundtrack. The premise sounds like high-concept word salad ("An ailing assassin in the midst of a midlife crisis rekindles an old relationship and battles fellow death-dealing competitors while attending his high school reunion"); and yet it somehow just works in the hands of the superbly capable cast.

(As a personal aside: there is a scene in which the protagonist finds himself staring into the wide eyes of a newborn infant, as Queen and David Bowie's Under Pressure swells in the background. I found this moment particularly touching; not least of which because it spurred me to the realization that I wanted to become a parent.)

6. John Wick (2014, dir. Chad Stahelski).

A fantastic example of a modestly-budgeted action film succeeding wildly on the strength of its compelling premise, intriguing world-building, and marriage of breathtaking choreography and stylish cinematography.

(Honorable mentions: Drive (1997); Dredd (2012); and The Raid: Redemption (2011) and it's follow-up, The Raid 2: Berandal (2014).)

7. Transformers: The Movie (1986, dir. Nelson Shin).

My god; there is so much I can (and will!) say about this movie.

For starters: it is not, conventionally-speaking, good.

Toy manufacturer Hasbro demanded that the dramatis personae of the first two seasons of the Transformers cartoon be written off; to make room for a new cast (and by extension, new toys). The producers gleefully complied by slaying beloved characters in an orgy of robot-on-robot violence that traumatized a generation of movie-going children.

(I should know; I was one of them!)

The narrative is nonsensical; and bounces frantically from one hair metal-accompanied set piece to the next without pause - until our protagonist (who has grown in literal height, if not as a person) unleashes the power of a previously undocumented McGuffin to save the day.

(In this respect, I harbor the belief that the producers cribbed significantly from 1981's Heavy Metal; which, respectfully, should probably not be the first choice of inspiration for a children's movie.)

Despite these deficiencies, however: it is a very, very watchable film!

The characters are likeable; the dialog, eminently quotable; and the voice cast perform their utmost.* The animation is spectacularly frenetic; and the soundtrack is surprisingly catchy (featuring the work of Stan Bush and Vince DiCola - notable for their contributions to Bloodsport and Rocky IV, respectively; and even "Weird Al" Yankovic)!

More than anything: this is a movie that trades in Rule Of Coolâ„¢ with childlike glee:

"What if we had a fully-operational battlestation; but instead of blowing planets up with a laser, it ate them?"

"...The two of them are out of ammo, and there's hundreds of enemies. So they hold a destruction derby - only it's underwater, right?"

"So the barbarian trash robots turn into motorcycles, and take turns riding each other, and they chase the good guys and then the good guy leader is exploded but it's okay, because the other good guys use the power of nonsense words to convince the trash robots to make him better; and then they have a dance-off..."

You won't learn anything from watching Transformers: The Movie; but it's fun, and strange, and surprisingly creative (while still operating within the unexplained requirement that everything and everyone turn into a robot, sooner or later)!

* There is a persistent rumor that Orson Welles was displeased to have starred in what was effectively a glorified toy commercial; exacerbated by both his self-professed lack of understanding of the movie's premise and plot, and his passing just five days after completing recording. This was not the case, however; as his grandchildren were fans, and he was enthused to have contributed to a franchise they loved.


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