Damain Wayne - Blog Posts

Valentine Headcanons about (almost) every fictional character I love 💕 

happy Valentine’s Day to everyone! I hope you know you are appreciated and cared for! Here are some Headcanons on how my fictional crushes would spend Valentine’s Day 💓

featuring: Daiki aomine, Sasuke Uchiha, Takumi Fujiwara, Rindou Haitani, Jean Kirstein, Ryusui Nanami, Spike Spiegel, Hisashi Mistui, Matt Holt, Taehoon Seong, and Damian Wayne

Daiki Aomine:

He’s playing basketball 💀

You’re 100000% sure he forgot what today was because when you gave him a handmade lunch AND a net for catching bugs he just stares at it like “what is this for?”

So as you sadly sit on the bench watching him play

But then he falls idiot

You sigh and walk over to him. “You ok Daiki?”

He groans and kneels with a bracelet in his hand blushing

“H-happy Valentine’s Day…”

You’re speechless. Only for a short moment of course, you quickly begin laughing your ass off

“W-what’s so funny?! Damn Kise telling me to do dumb shit…”

“I love it Daiki! Where’d you get it?” 

“S-satski taught me…”

This man has the largest amount of pride but will always throw it aside for you!

Sasuke Uchiha:

You both would either stay home or be somewhere private 

You both have this secret spot in the woods that you guys have been going to ever since you were kids

So it’s no surprise on your 15th valentines together that’s where the two of you would be

With the little snacks and dinner entrees the both of you made to surprise each other and the nice lighting and river it was perfect

This is also the time he’s most vulnerable with you; kissing your hands, neck, cheek, arms, and of course your lips ;)

He whispers sweet things in your ear and tells you how he’s never loved like this and won’t with anyone else 

“You’re my everything (y/n). I look at you and see a future brighter than all the stars out tonight.”

It’s safe to say he only and will only ever love you

Takumi Fujiwara:

You’ve always went on Tofu runs when you could with Takumi, and it was no different for Valentine’s Day 

When he arrives at your house he’s standing there with a small bouquet 

“Is there anything you want to do today?” He asks you as he drives to the hotel

You shake your head. “It doesn’t really matter as long as I’m with you!”

He can’t help but smile

When he’s done with the deliveries he pulls into a parking lot in front of Lake Akina 

“Can w-we just sit here for a while then? I really just want to be with you.”

You smile at him and lean your head as close as you can to his shoulder. “I’d love that Takumi.”

Rindou Haitani:

Rindou takes you dancing

You both love to dance so it was a win

But of course after that he takes you home

You both cuddle on each other and watch random movies

Rindou has the finest liquor out and the sweetest chocolate and all your other favorite sweets 

He kisses up and down your shoulder as you sit in his lap holding one of his hands

“You’re mine (y/n). And you’re gonna be for my next valentine and the one after that…”

Jean Kirstein 

He cooks for you!

He makes you sit there patiently while he scrambles around creating the perfect meal

“Jean, i don’t mind helping you. I think it’ll be a lot easier if-“

“I got this (y/n)! Just sit there and look beautiful! Tell me about your day. You know I love to hear your voice.”

After he’s FINALLY done cooking, you dine together in the not so fancy living area, but the both of you don’t care

Jean did his best to clean up and set the sweet, loving tone and that’s all that matters to you.

“I love you (y/n). Thank you for making me so happy.”

Ryusui Nanami:

This man goes all out💀

As soon as you wake up it’s the most perfect breakfast in bed

He has to leave to work but literally leaves you his black card to treat yourself and constantly has people arriving with beautiful flowers every 5 minutes

He comes back for lunch and talks to you

“Has your valentines been well? I’ll make sure that you have the best day ev-“

“I really like all the things Ryusui really i do, but…I just really want to spend time with you…”

He pauses

Then calls in like it’s nothing!

The rest of the day is the two of  you lay in bed together and act all cutesy!

“I’m glad you’re my valentines dear. It’s been one amazing day.”

Spike Spiegel:

This broke man does his best I’ll give him that

He buys you flowers and takes you to a pretty nice restaurant. Nothing too fancy but it’s nicer than you normally go to

He lets you order first and gets him something small, which is weird for this man

You both talk for hours the waitstaff is so annoyed

After you two are FINALLY done you both walk back to the Bebop

“Why did you eat so little Spike? You’re normally chowing down!”

He chuckles and keeps walking, “wasn’t that hungry.”

“Come on spike, we’re practically married, I can tell when you’re lying!”

He sighs and mumbled something 

“What?”

“I wanted to make sure I had enough money for you to eat…”

You stop in your tracks

“Spike…”

You kiss him lovingly 

“Thank you Spike. I love you so much.”

He smiles, “ditto.”

Hisashi Mitsui

You’re probably his first valentines tbh

He waits at a cafe with flowers in his hand

When you show up he’s bright red. You’re not even wearing and saying anything spectacular he’s just so nervous lol

You sit next to each other and talk snack and laugh about everything and anything 

After the cafe you head to the park

And after that you go to little stores you see along the way

Mitsui buys you a stuffed animal you were looking at and you bought him a chain necklace he glanced at

It was a really great valentines, especially since it was first

“T-thanks for being my valentine (y/n). I’m glad i get to spend it with you.”

Matt Holt:

He makes this super cool heart shaped projector thing!

He hands you this heart 

It rises shifts into being a projector that displays all of your favorite memories together

It shows the new inductee dance and how the two of you jumping around without a care in the world

Then it shows a lazy night of the both of you “studying” for an exam as the camera zooms into Matt’s face and your giggles from behind the camera

And one of your favorite memories of all, your day at the beach together. Throwing water at each other, making sand castles, resting you head in his shoulder as the sun goes down 

“Matt…this is beautiful… I-I’m speechless…!”

“It’s alright.” He begins, “I know what you’re gonna say. I love you too.”

Taehoon Seong

Mans has no idea what to do

He acts like he doesn’t care as Hansu tries to give him ideas but really he’s terrified of messing something up

So when the day comes you hear a knock on the door you’re surprised to see a nicely dressed Taehoon with a rose in his hand

“Happy Valentine’s Day idiot.”

You smile and kiss his cheek. “Thank you Tae Tae!”

You Motion for him to come in

When he does there’s a nice breakfast for two in the dining room

“I know you don’t like to go out Tae, so I thought we could stay in for the day.”

Oh my gosh that sounds perfect

“Heh, I guess so. At least I’m with you.”

Damian Wayne:

Spoils you with acts of service 

As soon as you wake up you’re greeted with the smell of a nice breakfast in the dining room 

Then you sit in bed as he feeds you chocolate cover strawberries, watching silly movies and drawing pictures for each other 

At the end of the day he prepares a bath for the both of you

You wash each other not like that weirdos and you even blow some bubbles at him

When it’s finally time to sleep he massages your back and whispers about how much he loves you 

Then of course you fall asleep on his chest as he holds you

“Goodnight beloved. I hope you understand how much I love you.”

Ghost Helpline part 3. Diana was shocked, hurt and elated all at once! “Your grandmother is Pandora?! I did not know that she even had a child! I am ecstatic to meet you Konstelacio. Oh my I call you cousin?” This was it! as far apart as the separation between Pandora and Themyscia may be Diana would take any family she could. The loneliness of childhood gnawed at her.

“Oh no! I’m not Pandoras Grandchild!” The girl crossed and uncrossed her arms into an X to show her dismissal, “She is a good mentor! And a wonderful family confidant! If anything she’s like my Nanny.”

Constantine began to sweat buckets.

Diana shouted, “Wait…is Pandora…” lips thinned.

“A ghost ? Yes”

- Tim stared at Konstelacio, she had begun to breathe deeply, averting her eyes from Wonder Woman, feet shuffling together. She was exhibiting shame. And Tim understood the feeling well, that you were too unworthy to even be held in comparison to someone else. Someone whose shoes you could never even dream of filling. “Do Demons have grandmas?” Uhhh speedsters.

“Yes”

“That’s so cool! Who’s yours?”

“I don’t know.”

Oh oh those golden eyes looked tired. As tired as Jason’s eyes had been after his first gala, Dick thought. They may have both been adopted but Jason was treated to so much contempt being from the streets, so much fake pity. /Oh poor kid doesn’t even know who his mom is./Dick knew Jason hated it all.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”

/It doesn’t matter Dick! Just drop it!/ the eldest robin frowned.

Damian tsked, “What about your parents? I would suppose even monsters need those? Also landing community service instead of some harsher punishment must mean you have some connection to authority in your ‘realm’ no?”

The little girl grinned, “Yes something like that.”

She has nearly everyone in the room duped, Constantine side eyed the Bats nearly. He knew that smile; a tad too wide eyes, a fraction to tight smile, the inexplicable about of understanding and kindness up until this point… this was the grin of a con artist.

- “I know quite a lot of important people! Why Pandora herself is my nanny! And my supervisor is my uncle.”

“Tsh- is that not a conflict of interest?”

“Doesn’t matter,” John wished he was allowed to smoke in space, “No more wasting time, now that we know you can help us what’s your price?”

“Hhhuuu what? Oh the price for the antidote will have to come later, after all you technically aren’t getting it from me. I’ll have to ask nanna and whoever else decides to help what the want. It’s only fair.”

“We see,” Batman’s low tone sounded. “And the dragon-“

Her hand stuck out shyly, “Tips are always welcomed tho…after all I am still providing a service.”

“We don’t …”

“It takes me a lot of energy and time to help you mortals so much. I’m so tired already.”

Batman’s mouth stilled, “We-“

A blur of red, “Oh are you hungry? Do you need anything? Let me get you a chair, snacks..”

“No no chair! Nothing is going threw that circle !” Constantine yelled, “Do you have any idea what could happen!”

“She’s a child!”

“She’s a demon!”

“Constantine is right.”

“Bats you can’t be serious, just look at her?”

“Flash we know your intentions are in the right place but we just can’t risk it! We also can’t risk not clearly defining what she considers a tip.” Zatanna signed how long have they been here, the girl looked harmless enough but something about her made her skin crawl.

“A favor would be nice! Especially from the red one!”

“See who knows what she could end up asking for.”

“Oh I see I’m sorry,” she looked down dejected, “ I do suppose no one carries favors for ladies around anymore hhhmmm and none of you have handkerchiefs? Awww”

“Why would you want something like that ?!?” Diana was horrified, her to be cousin was a child! No men, man, demon should be giving her favors to begin a courtship! “Flash!”

“Oh no no I wasn’t defending you to-“

“I know I know I just wanted one from you cuz you were nice to me.”

“That’s still doesn’t explain why you would ask for a favor as a tip?” Diana looked as the girl flushed in embarrassment. “I -I -I just want one to show my friends that’s all just to prove that I could get one that’s all! Uummmm cousin???” She hesitated regretful as soon as the word had come out.

“Oh I see are your friends giving you a hard time? Well I say the only one that would be appropriate to give you such a thing would be Robin… the youngest that is.”

The bats looked back at Damian oh dear lord sweat god don’t -

“Tch- here.”

Oh

Damian tossed a handkerchief towards the circle. “You just carry a handkerchief with you?” “Of course I do I’m not a heathen unlike you Drake.”

The toss was barely thrown in her direction when it disappeared entirely. “Where…”

“No worries I just put it in my inventory. Now then I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait!”

“Huh?” Big doe eyes blinked up at them all in confusion.

“The dragon! What about that thi- guy.” Hal scruffed out.

The girl brightened up, “Oh you don’t have to pay me anything for that! After all Aragon the one that broke his patrol. So I’m sure as soon as I send my report someone will come deal with it eventually.”

“Eventually?!” Hal’s hand hit the table, who was this kid?

“Well yes, tons of reports go in everyday! It is the INFINITE realms after all! Who knows when they’ll get to yours.” She shrugged as if it was all just a matter of convenience as if that very dragon haven’t terrorized and destroyed lives throwing its tantrum.

Superman chewed his lip, as this meeting contributed to drag on he had no doubt Aragon would continue to destroy everything in its path. “Wait what about your connection, surely you know someone that can help ? What about your supervisor uncle ?” Clark needed this to stop, he couldn’t even land a punch on this guy. Nothing worked and he was already weak to magic. This has to stop.

“Well I suppose I can but it’ll cost you.”

“Wait just a minute!”

“Do we even have anything you want?” Clark raked his mind over ideas in his head, for a tip all she had wanted was a handkerchief an old school way of showing off to her friends like any normal girl. “We don’t have much but I’m sure we could think of something???”

“It’s okay Mr. Superman.” Konstelacio lite up “I’ll just take something you mortals don’t really think about hhhmmm something small.”

Hal sighed as he leaned back, “You sure we can’t just give her a dog?”

“Ugh fuck this mate I need a light,” forget not being allowed to smoke up here all these idiot we’re getting on John’s last nerve, “Ugh drat! I could have sworn I had my lighter in my pocket.”

“Oh you mortals losing things in your own pocket. Oh that’s what I want in return!”

“A lighter? Smoking is -“

“I want your pockets.”

“What do you mean?”

The devil grinned, “Your pockets, empty them.”

#@starkcravingmad

there’s probably a universal bat experience of realising with nothing but incredulous rage that out of all of the LIFE SAVING FRIENDLY VIGILANTES working in Gotham, the bat with the most love and support from the general public is the one that’s literally a fucking crime lord. like Nightwing’s the one everybody’s horny for, but Red Hood? that’s their fucking G. their Homie. their buddy. their ride or die.

it drives the rest of them fucking insane

I think Damian Wayne won’t be buff but more lean still strong of course but Jason Todd no I think more like dick.

i'm a casual fan, but I still think(personally) that sometimes, these characteristics become so common. I would recommend making dink feral, make Damian the softie, Duke the menace, Cass is act so knowing it's scary, Tim isn't a coffee addict from what i've seen(I think he's more into energy drinks and sudden naps but I could be wrong). pretty sure he isn't also a weak little baby, he's capable, had to be considering that he was alone somewhat since his childhood and so on and so forth. But still, not to hate those other characterizations! I still eat them up, every time <3

What a fucking fandom, huh!

(etc, etc, etc)

Is it just me or is everytime I count Robin's I always end up with a different number?

Here me out! Here is my thought process: there's the (1st) original boy wonder (Dick Grayson) without a doubt, the (tragic) second Jason Todd, a little bit of Stephanie (3rd) but I count her anyway. Tim Drake makes 4 and Damian makes 5.

But then I remembered the little side quest with Duke Thomas (6th), then I start thinking of Teen Titans Go (yes I watched that horid show, don't ask) and in one episode there were 4 other versions of Robin (that I remember seeing, I could be wrong-). One of them definitely had red hair and I know for a fact they weren't Barbara Gordan (7th).

And for the sake of my mental health, I don't count the raven haired other Robins in that episode. Counting the forth on there own, makes 8.

So, correct me if I'm wrong, but to my knowledge there has been eight (8!) Robin's.

I am new to the Batfam as I just recently started getting into the Batman comics, shows and movies, but GODDAMN.

I UNDERSTAND if the Robin mantle might need to be replaced after a few years, but Bruce's going through children like reading the news.

Thank you for coming to my brain dump.

part 1, this on ao3

~

It’s a normal night, until it’s not.

Dick had been purposeful when he had said that Damian could make mistakes. He remembers the way the necessity of perfection had eaten at him when he was younger. He knows that Damian is even more susceptible than he was to that burning self-disgust at anything less than a flawlessness. Upon taking over the mantle of Batman, Dick had decided that Damian needed to know there was at least one adult in his life who wouldn't disown him for delivering anything less than perfection.

He hadn’t thought so much about what would happen when Damian actually did make a mistake.

It happens when Dick is in the middle of congratulating Damian on a particularly impressive move, one with a more gymnastic slant which Dick is sure is based on one of his own trademarks. He’s telling Damian what a good job he’s doing and Damian is puffing up with pride, a smile playing around the edges of his expression. Then Dick catches the glint of the sniper rifle scope.

The ability to dodge bullets is a trademark of members of their family. Damian should feel the whistle of the bullet coming his way, he should jolt back from the air parting in front of him. But Damian's too caught up in his pride to do any of those things quickly enough so within a moment of Dick spotting the rifle scope there’s a bullet in Damian's leg.

Dick is so used to falling that he doesn't remember a time when it didn't feel like flying. The way his stomach drops now though, it doesn't feel like flying. It feels like the kid he said he'd take care of has blood spurting from his leg and it's all Dick's fault.

To his credit Damian is very calm about it. Dick knows he’s been shot before although he doesn’t know if it was a purposeful part of the boys training or not. His blood boils at either prospect. Even as the crowd is still screaming for their heroes to come save them Dick grabs Damian from the blood soaked ground and rushes to the batmobile, putting it on autopilot as he tries to stabilise the patient.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers, “I’m sorry. We’ll be back at home in no time and we’ll get you all fixed up, okay?” Dick blinks away the tears at the sight of Damian bloody and pale in front of him. Impediments to his vision will only make it harder to get Damian stable.

“Okay.” Damian replies, voice remarkably steady.

Now aware that someone he trusts is going to make it all better, Damian promptly passes out.

“Shit.” Dick says, young ears now unable to hear him. “Shit shit shit shit shit. Fuck.”

He swears to his heart's content for the rest of the ride back to the manor and it does very little to make him feel any better.

No, the swirling sea of worry-guilt-anguish in his stomach only begins to abate at the sight of Alfred in the bat cave, perfectly calm and with all the necessary medical supplies ready. They get Damian to a bed and Dick tries to make himself useful as Alfred treats the bullet wound.

He isn’t particularly useful and spends most of his time fretting.

“He’ll be fine, Master dick.” Alfred says once he’s finished up and washing the blood from where it had stained his skin.

“Of course he will.” Dick replies, attempting to sound a little more nonchalant than he actually is. From the look Alfred gives him he doesn’t think he succeeds.

He’s spared the indignity of having to say anything else by the rumble of Tim’s motorbike pulling into the cave. Tim gets off with an urgency Dick isn’t sure he expected and when he takes his domino off there’s genuine worry in the frown between his eyes.

“Is he okay?” he asks, his tone frantic.

“He’ll be fine.” Dick's grateful to find that his voice is far more level now than it was ten minutes ago.

Tim tilts his head to the side, looking at Dick. His expression narrows into something slightly more analytical than concern. “Are you okay?”

Dick tries to say yes. He really does. He's Tim’s big brother, he’s Batman. Of course he can tell his little brother that he’s okay. But after a moment of silence Dick glances towards where Damian lies far too still on their operating table and feels the tears he's been fighting off resurface in his eyes.

Tim nods as if this is confirming something. “Come on.” He says. “Let’s get out of here.”

Dick tries to protest that Damian needs someone to be here when he wakes up but Tim just continues to pull him gently out of the cave.

“He’s going to be out for the next few hours. I can make you hot chocolate in the meantime.”

Dick wants to keep protesting but he’s been left tired and weak by the nights events. He allows himself to slump as his little brother leads him out of the darkness.

~

Dick talks. Significantly more than he had intended to.

He talks about how he can’t balance this awful dichotomy of guardian and commander. He talks about how he’s still not entirely sure how to be Batman, let alone a parent. He talks about how he can’t keep doing this without something breaking.

Probably him. Possibly Damian. Both answers are unacceptable.

“I’ll to fix this” Tim says. The determination in his expression reminds Dick of when he came to his bludhaven apartment all those years ago and demanded Dick reprise his roll as Robin. “I’m going to make a call, we’ll sort this out.” he promises.

Tim’s always been good at that. Tugging on the fraying strings of their family tapestry until it resembles something whole. It’s how he came into the family in the first place and Dick has always been grateful for that.

Tim leaves, already dialing a number into his phone with a look of intense concentration. Dick wants to go check on Damian but Alfreds got that handled so it’s not like he’ll actually help. Sitting idle at the boys bedside will probably just make him feel worse.

So Dick hangs his head and waits for someone to save him.

~

“Give me a lift to the airport?” Tim asks far too sweetly. The tone of voice doesn’t suit him.

“You can drive.” Dick points out, suspicious.

Tim gives him a look, like Dick's being difficult on purpose. “It’ll be a bonding opportunity.” he says, his tone lowering to something closer to his usual cadence. Dick still feels suspicious but there’s a million things he has to do today that are more important than arguing with his only sane brother, so he nods. Tim grins in response and gets up with a lot more energy than he tends to these days.

Dick decides that there’s little use in thinking on it more. He’s in charge of far too many things at the moment, he’ll let Tim control this one.

~

Cass appears in the collection area, suitcase in hand, and Dick feels the weight of the world become significantly lighter.

She's more muscled than she was when she left. Her footsteps are more confident. It makes pride rise in Dick's throat as he realises how brave his little sister is for growing so much all by herself.

She picks up her pace once Tim and Dick are in view, almost breaking into a jog as she approaches. She wraps an arm around each of them and Dick can feel her smile pressing against his cheek.

Dick realises that his own smile is pressing against Cass’s cheek. His chin is somehow resting in Tim’s hair.

He savours the moment and feels more full than he has in a long time.

“Welcome home.” He says into Cass’s neck. He feels her smile even wider in response.

~

That night as Dick is about to go on patrol Cass taps his shoulder.

“I can do it.” she says, pointing at the Batman suit Dick had been about to start putting on.

Dick frowns, pushing away the golden hope bleeding into the edges of his soul. “It won’t fit.” he says.

Cass shrugs. “I won’t wear it. But I can do it.”

Dick feels his frown deepen. Cass is younger than him and she hasn’t been in Gotham for so long. It’s not a good idea for her to take on the mantle. She’s already got far too much weighing her down without adding another impossible burden for her to bear.

Dick looks past Cass for a second to allow his eyes to rest on Tim, busying himself with sorting his own gear out but none too subtly watching the exchange between Dick and Cass. He gives a slight nod. An endorsement. Dick looks back to Cass who is smiling very gently at his indecision.

“Okay.” he says, and the room releases a sigh of relief.

~

Cass has been Batman every night since she got back a week ago and Dick hasn’t felt this light since Bruce died.

She was always the best fighter out of them. Always a little faster, a little more cutting, than any of her brothers. She isn’t as used to the detective aspect of things but she's surrounded by enough people trained in that aspect of the job that it isn’t a problem. Dick wears the Nightwing suit and flies higher than he has in months. Damian tends to work with Cass, Batman needs a Robin after all, but will pop up on Dick's patrols with silent requests for ice cream and a shoulder to lean on.

Cass can be Damian's Batman. Dick can be his guardian. It was always too much to ask of Bruce, for him to be both. For him to be their teacher and their hero and their father. Splitting the load seems to be going far better than anything Bruce used to try.

~

Sometimes Dick will catch Tim smiling at him the same way he does at a problem just solved. He wants to say thank you. Thank you for letting me outrun that awful burden for a little longer. Thank you for saving me. But he supposes that’s just what brothers are for.

Instead he asks Tim if he wants to go train surfing. They haven’t since before Bruce died. Dick was far too busy trying to keep the world from collapsing in on itself and Tim was too busy trying to find a way to stop Dick from crumbling under the pressure of it.

“Yeah.” Tim says, his smile twisting and morphing until it goes from analytical to soft and relieved. “Yeah I’d like that.”

~

"Do you miss him?" Damian asks one day. Dick doesn't need any clarification on who he's talking about.

The two of them are sat on a rooftop, legs swinging over the side. Damian is holding a rum and raisin ice cream Dick had pressed firmly into his hand. Dick decided a while ago that Damian should be offered the opportunity to try all the flavours he missed out on in the earlier part of his childhood and he thinks they're making some pretty good progress.

Dick considers for a moment. It's a complicated question. "Yes," he starts, because of course he does, "But it doesn't hurt like it used to. Not now that I can focus on being myself instead of squeezing myself into the shape of the person I'm mourning. And you?"

"Yes." Damian starts, because of course he does. He pauses for longer than Dick did but that makes sense. Damian's thoughts are complicated enough that Dick can't help but be proud of the kid for being able to untangle even a few of them. "But I know a lot of people who've died. And at least this time I gained what I came searching for regardless of what happened to Father."

It's not a thank you. Dick knows that it's going to take a little more time for Damian to learn how to shape his mouth into those words. But it's a start.

Dick looks at all the life surrounding him and smiles.

one thing i absolutely adore from the first part of this run is something i wish i saw more

Damian having an actively different accent

Damian having perfect voice mimicry is cool and all, but the idea of Damian still having an accent that is 100% identifiable as being 0% gotham when being comfortable and acting casually is so good.

he's arab chinese and taught in multiple languages since he was a baby so I'd imagine he'd have a mix of stuff

(A spin off of this post. It is very highly recommended to read it first if you haven't already)

@alls-well-that-ends-weird

*cackles*

Bruce sat at his desk, his hands sternly folded in front of his face. Damian sat in the chair in front of him, staring defiantly.

“Damian… We need to talk about the kids. And the animals.”

Damian stuck his nose in the air arrogantly with the manner of a man who knew he could not lose. Normally an admirable feat against Bruce “Brucie” “Batman” Wayne, but this was Damian Wayne, formerly Al Ghul. What he wanted, he usually ended up getting—with or without permission.

“I don’t know what you're talking about, Father.”

Bruce stared at him, just a few degrees shy of his batglare. “Damian. In the past three months, you have acquired twenty-three toddlers, seventy two cats, fifty dogs, an uncountable number of fish, another cow, three deer, and a random assortment of other animals. Not only that, you adopted Colin, and gained partial guardianship over Jon.” Bruce started full on glaring. “I don't know how. I don't want to know—actually, I do, if only I can stop you from doing more. But that's not the point.” Bruce leaned forward, eyes narrowing. “No more. Send them back where they came from. They need to go. Now.”

Damian examined his fingernails delicately. “No.”

“Damian—”

Damian grinned evilly. Bruce tensed in anticipation as Damian opened his mouth and spoke in an overly loud and dramatic voice.

“BUT FATHER YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM LEAVE—”

Bruce's beautiful, original mahogany wood doors burst open, shattering against the walls.

“NO!”

It was the children. And the animals. God, so many animals. They were all screaming at him in their shrill little voices and all their noises like a demented chorus. Was this his punishment? He knew he wasn't the best father in the world, but surely he didn't deserve this?

“NO!”

“THAT'S OUR BABA!”

“WE WANNA STAY!”

“I WAN’ BABA!”

“Yeah Mr. Wayne,” a horrifyingly familiar voice said over the waves of small beings, quieting them to whimper and sobs, “Don't take us away from ‘Baba’.”

There, walking into his office with stupidly big devious grins on their faces—the exact same one as Damian’s, the little snots—were Colin and Jon, both clearly enjoying this entirely too much.

They walked up behind a smug Damian (who was drowning in cute animals and tiny orphan children—no! Stay strong Bruce!) and wrapped their arms around him, pouting.

“Gosh, Gramps,” Bruce felt a stab in the chest as Colin sniffed in mock distress, “I just got a big family, you can't take them from me now! Baba promised we'd all have a loving and comfortable life.”

“Yeah Grandpapa!” Jon pouted, his eyes tearing up in his deadliest puppy dog eyes. Bruce felt another stab in the chest. “I've got such a big family now, and I can't let my new siblings down now, you know? Baba promised we could all stay together!” All the children nodded along with him, eyes teary and noses sniffing with puppy eyes they clearly learned from Jon.

That little—

“Well Father?” Damian smirked. “You wouldn't make me a liar now, would you? Not to my precious family?”

Bruce had the sinking feeling that this would not be the last conversation about this. He also had the sneaking suspicion that he would win exactly none of them.

Bruce dropped his head in his hands and groaned.

God, what would he tell Clark?