Clumsy Clark Kent- part 4 (an epilogue)
The news story went up in the paper. It was all over the internet. The entire east coast was in scandal mode. Everyone was coming up with creative death threats for lex Luthor, and he was finally, FINALLY going to court.
The reporters at the Daily Planet were satisfied with their work. They felt like they had done it well. Ma and Pa Kent were trying not to go off about the amount of danger Clark had put himself in.
And Perry White- PERRY WHITE- told them good job.
The end.
Clumsy Clark Kent, pt. 3
"Lauren Lawrence," Clark said, placing down the folder on the desk in front of Perry White, editor in chief of the Daily Planet. "Our way in," finished Lois Lane. She and Jimmy were standing, arms crossed, just behind Clark in Perry's office.
He smiled. "Impressive," he said. "How'd you do it? And what exactly is she our way into?"
So the three friends recounted the story of how they had arranged to meet on the roof, and the notes and pictures in the file folder. As usual, Perry was not one for patience. Five minutes later, Jimmy Olsen was worrying a keyboard as he waited for the computer to finish- ah- retrieving some footage from Lexcorp grounds. Clark leaned over the desk to watch the progress bar slide slowly towards completion. Lois was pacing a few feet away. Then Clark's hand slipped off the edge of the desk and he banged his head on the corner of the table on his way down. Lois took the time to snort before resuming her pacing.
As Clark got to his feet, Jimmy gave a victorious whoop.
"One hundred percent!" he shouted. "We're in!"
Lois and Clark peered over Jimmy's shoulders to look at the footage.
It was of a lab, with a particle accelerator. Scientists milled about, checking energy levels and measuring charges. Lex Luthor slammed his fist down on a random table and shouted something. The video didn't have any sound, but whatever he'd said, it sent the scientists scurrying. They just managed to make out one word by watching his lips- lawrencium.
"Isn't that, like, really dangerous?" Jimmy asked nervously. "And... currently impossible to synthesize?"
"It is Lex Luthor," Clark said. "Maybe he's figured it out... or at least thinks he has."
On the furthest right side of the periodic table are the noble gases. They have a ring of 8 electrons on the outside. That's what all elements want. The closer they are, the more unstable they are. The ones missing one electron are called halogens. The ones with one too many are called alkali metals. (Don't spend too much time around these) Also, the further down you go in the periodic table, the more radioactive things get. The most radioactive halogen is more radioactive than the most radioactive alkali metal. It's called-you guessed it- lawrencium. Don't stand near it, if they ever do synthesize it. So, with that knowledge, let's continue.
The video showed a woman in a lab coat with cornrow braids getting into a large machine. The trio recognized her as the spokesperson for Lexcorp's scientific department. One lab-coated gentleman pulled a switch, and then there were a few seconds of screaming and... silence. The camera had gone out after that.
"You guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Lois asked.
"We expose that in our first front-page worthy article?" Clark replied, before promptly falling on his face again.
"Sounds good to me," Jimmy finished.
To be continued
Part 2
Clark, Lois, and Jimmy found themselves atop the roof of a generic skyscraper (very illegally) twenty minutes later. A man was there, and he looked nervous- not just about the height.
He jumped as the three reporters clambered over the top of the highest window and onto the roof.
"Why did we have to meet here?" Jimmy asked. "It seems... overly dangerous."
"Had to... had to find a covert location. Luthor has eyes all over the city. This place... it's an old tradition, ever since it was built. No cameras up here, ever. And clearly there aren't any people. Ronald Hart, by the way." The small, mostly bald man chuckled nervously. He looked a bit stressed. You probably can't imagine why.
Clark stayed clear of the edge. He might be able to fly, but he wasn't keen on his friends and Mr. Hart knowing that.
"Mr. Hart, you told us you had concrete proof of corruption at Lexcorp?" Lois asked.
"Yes, that's right." he said, as if he had forgotten for a moment what he was doing on top of an eleven- story skyscraper. He shakily removed a small file folder from the back of his coat. "It's all in here. In you hand now. I need to go."
Even Lois didn't try to pry. They helped him back into the top floor, and all took separate elevators down, except Clark and Lois, since there were only three elevators.
Clark, after tripping and grabbing the elevator handrail for support, cleared his throat awkwardly.
"So... Lois. Any... particular plans this weekend?"
"Not sure." she answered." Depends on what it takes to get the dirt." she pulled out the folder and opened it curiously. As soon as she saw what was inside, she gasped. Quickly, she passed it over to her fellow reporter to show him the shocking news. As soon as they arrived at the first floor, they ran to show Jimmy.
"But..." he said. "This makes no sense. I saw that guy on TV just last week."
"I guess... I guess it wasn't her" Clark answered. They were all much more subdued as they rode the bus back to the Daily Planet.
To be continued.
Something massively underused is that Clark Kent is clumsy. And no, it's not an act, it's because of his superstrength and he really is clumsy. I think in the modern age of superheroes, it's been mostly abandoned. Therefore, I will be writing a story where he is even clumsier than Christopher Reeves' Superman to compensate. In fact, any story involving Superman will have this Clark Kent.
"Hey Clark! Catch!"
Just as always, the stapler Lois had thrown was not caught. Clark Kent had almost gotten it a few times, dropped it, and then tripped over his own feet. He got up and turned to Lois.
"Can't you just hand it to me?" He said. Jimmy was making no attempt to hide his giggling in the background as Clark got to his feet.
"I have to make sure you're still our old Klutz Kent, don't I? What better way?"
"Aw Lois, of course I am. Wait! Oh no! That article!"
He slipped but didn't quite fall on his way back to his desk and slid triumphantly into his chair. Everything at the Daily Planet was soon finished. Clark, Lois, and Jimmy were on their ways home when another one of those weirdos showed up from space. Jimmy and Lois remembered fondly earth's first alien invasion and how they had actually been concerned.
Meanwhile, Clark had other problems. He'd slipped into an inconspicuous Alley to change, in which there had been a small child. He held a finger to his lips and launched into the sky. It was a quick fight, and he was home only a few minutes after he was supposed to be. It was also helpful that he had needed to stop for groceries and therefore had an alibi. The 3 bags did a bit of tumbling, but the eggs remained intact.
As he finally tripped on his way into his apartment, he saw that Jimmy and Lois, instead of being at their own houses, were standing waiting for him, with notepad and camera.
"We finally have a lead" said Jimmy. "Y'know, on the Lexcorp corruption case?" Clark smiled. Maybe Luthor would finally be outed as not only a supervillain, but also- gasp- a crooked businessman.
To be continued