Claudia Auditore - Blog Posts

Random thoughts with

Jacob Frye pt.2

The whole family was watching an action car movie (it's all about family). Everyone sat in the living room together, some on the couch and some on the floor, Jacob sat next to Evie by the armrest of the couch as the movie went on with out any issues, it was then that Jacob, thought of the most random thoughts ever.

Desmond: *eating popcorn*

Jacob: . . . Popcorn is just explosions frozen in time for you to eat.

Desmond: *stops eating his popcorn*

...

Everyone: ...

Evie: *hard sighs* brother... pls...

Altair: *clenched teeth* ... not... today... Frye...

Ezio: is this what I missed when I wasn't at the dinner table last week?

Shaun: lucky you, yes. Not so lucky now though...

Jacob: Did you know, dinosaurs were more closely related to birds... so... since our creed's mascot is an eagle-

Malik: don't you dare Jacob-

Jacob: and if we were all from the prehistoric times-

Desmond: Jacob-

Jacob: *smug grin* Doesn't that make us-

Evie: Jacob I swear to god don't-

Jacob: Dinosaurs Creed! *wheezes*

Edward: HAHA!!! *wheezes* yes! That is exactly what we are!

Altair: no! No, we are not!

Leonardo: ... again, he's technically not wrong.

Shaun: Leonardo, listen we love you, but pls... don't encourage this any further.

Jacob: oh no it's far too late for that Shaun!

Claudia: can't we just watch this movie in peace, please Jacob...

Maria: *rubbing her head in irritation* yes pls, Jacob I rather not get a headache this late in the day.

Jacob: ... Dinosaurs are just pokemon with weaker evolutions.

Achilles: pls! Frye, just zip your mouth for more than five minutes for once in your life!

Jacob: fine! ok! ok!

Edward: Aw, you all are no fun...

Desmond: thank you, Jacob.

5 minutes later. The family seems to go back to relaxing and watching the movie, they are at a car chase scene.

Jacob: ... *smug grin is back* ... if lightning McQueen was real, would he get car insurance... or life insurance?

Edward: *snickers* Haha!

Arno: Oh mon Dieu! Do you ever shut up!

Alexios: well I know what movie we're not watching next. Thanks a lot, Jacob you just ruined cars for me!

Evie: I knew it was only a matter of time.

Achilles: And didn't I tell you to be quiet!? What happened to that!?

Jacob: yes, you specifically said "can you be quiet for five minutes." And I was quiet for exactly five minutes.

Rebecca: well how about literally longer than five minutes?

Jacob: nope! And did you know that the youngest photo of you... is technically the oldest photo of you.

Kassandra: remind me again as to why we have family events? If they're only going to end in disaster...

Haytham:... Is this how all the events usually end up being?

Connor: a good chunk of the time yes...

Haytham: huh, well look at that... I actually feel sorry for you for once son.

Jacob: if flys have their wings removed... are they then called walkers?

Ezio: Mio Dio, Jacob... stop.

Leonardo: here we go again...

Jacob: if a fire truck catches fire, it becomes the very thing it was sworn to destroy.

Desmond: Jacob don't make us have Altair kick your @$$ again.

Jacob: if the earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean every country is a third world country?

Altair: ... *grabs a pillow from the couch and proceeds to scream all of his rage into it*

Jacob: if you sweat in a sweater... does that make you the sweater?

Shaun: pls someone makes him stop!

Bakey: how do we make him stop!?

Jacob: Lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, a mechanic hope you break down... but only a thief wishes you prosperity.

Evie: *takes the popcorn and gets up* well then I wish you all prosperity. *leaves to her room*

Desmond: hey! Wait that was mine!

Jacob: how come your lips don't touch, when you say the word touch, but touch when you say the word separate.

Alexios: oh like how you're tearing THIS FAMILY APART AGAIN!!!

Edward: *just laughing on the floor*

Jacob: There have likely been times in history where a leader was believed to have been poisoned but probably just had a severe food allergy.

Arno: I- ... that actually explains quite a lot now that I think about it.

Jacob: your future self is spying on you through memories.

Everyone: ... *looks over at Desmond* ...

Desmond: ... can we not, go over this again.

Jacob: you have to pretend to sleep, to fall asleep.

Aya: I'm going to throw him out of this house if he keeps this up.

Jacob: two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts do.

Maria: this nightmare will never end will it...

Jacob: Your Teeth are warm.

Altair: . . . that's it! *pause the movie* COME HERE FRYE!

Jacob: NOT TODAY! *Jumps over the couch and runs upstairs to his room*

Altair: *runs after him*

The chase is once again lead to the second floor of the house as the remaining group is left downstairs to hear the echoes of the chase from the living room.

Everyone: ...

Malik: ... well I guess that takes care of that.

Leonardo: and I'm guessing like before, we aren't going to help him correct?

Shaun: yep.

Rebecca: Oh absolutely.

Desmond: pretty much... damn it now I gotta go make more popcorn. *gets up to make more*

Edward: *coughing and wheezing* Haha... ha...

While Desmond went to go do that the sound of the chase echoed from upstairs as it sounds like Jacob almost made it this time... almost. Jacob's screaming can be heard from the upstairs and the sound of something breaking.

Jacob: *upstairs* EVIE HELP! SAVE ME!!!

Evie: *from her room* you made your bed, you sleep in it. *closes her room door*

Jacob: NO EVIE WAIT-

And then the sound of glass shattering is followed as Jacob can be seen falling from the second floor to the front of the house from the living room window as Jacob moans in pain outside.

Desmond: *comes back in with more popcorn* got more popcorn.

Altair: *comes down stairs and sits back on the couch* ... so remind me again on why we are watching a movie about cars again?

Desmond: cause it's all about Family Altair. *eats some popcorn* it's all about family. *puts shades on and continues the movie*

Welcome back to part 2 of

Random thoughts with

Jacob Frye

Hope you guys enjoy this one ✌ and go check out part 1 of Random thoughts with Jacob Frye. Click the eagle to check out the first one.

🎩

🦅

Duccio gets thrown out

Pt. 1

An Assassin's creed of bel air headcanon

Claudia was upset that day, she came home late almost saddened. Her brother Ezio and the other assassins came to try and help comfort her, but with Duccio around...

Claudia: oh ezio! Why must I have such a hard time with men! Even in the future my luck is absolutely dreadful...

Ezio: *Hugs Claudia* it is ok Claudia, you will be ok.

Desmond: I still can't believe those @$$holes at the store just harassed you like that.

Rebecca: listen Claudia men can be @$$holes sometimes, some worst then others. Like take Shaun for example. Sometimes I wanna punch him so hard in the face when he's being negative all the time, but at least he's not publicly harassing me.

Shaun: exactly... wait. HEY!

Claudia: men are just pigs... oh! No offence to you all!

Arno: It's ok Claudia, we understand.

Jacob: ya, some of us men are just bloody @$$es.

Evie: some, are more annoying then others, but yes.

Jacob: exactly! ...wait. HEY!

Leonardo:everything will be fine Claudia *hugs Claudia*

Claudia: thank you. Thank you all.

Duccio walks in.

Duccio: what's going on here?

Altair: no.

Duccio: what?

Altair: OUT!

Duccio: che cosa! (What) why?!

Altair: You will only make this manner worse, I know it.

Duccio: I just want to know what's happening, that's all, promise! *raises his left arm up and right arm on his chest*

Connor: just tell him, he'll just keep bugging us till we do tell him.

Altair: ... *crosses his arms* Claudia was harassed by men today at the store.

Claudia: not like you care.

Duccio: well I could always get a marriage license.

Everyone was confused at what Duccio had just said.

Edward: ...what?

Duccio: so she doesn't get harassed by men so much. That is if she performs on the test drive.

Everyone in the room went silent for a moment speechless to what Duccio had suggested.

Claudia: >=( ...

Leonardo: *hold Claudia closer to him* Ezio... Get him. >=|

Ezio walked over to Duccio and grabbed him by the back collar of his shirt and started angrily dragging him to the front of the house.

Duccio: WHAT I DID DO?!! WHAT DID I DO?!!

Jacob gladly opened the front door of the house holding it like he was holding it for someone (that someone being Duccio) and with every ounce of energy and anger, Ezio had tossed Duccio out of the house and into the front yard.

Duccio: AAAH! *lands face first on to the ground*

And there you have it fokes Duccio get thrown out of the house! (Yes there will be more parts >= ] ) Based on the funny compilations of Jazz getting thrown out of the house.

Honestly this idea came to mine when I was re-watching some fresh prince of bel air and then I saw this scene where jazz got thrown out of the house and I began thinking... who is somewhat like jazz... who would be worthy of being thrown out of the house besides Jacob... then it hit me!

It was clear as day that Duccio was destined to be thrown out by either Altair or Ezio! (Mostly Ezio)

I hope you enjoyed this assassin's creed of bel air headcanon 😉👌😎 more is to be expected.