Astarion - Blog Posts
Just uncovered this recording from early access that Scratch desperately wanted to be a part of.
astarion's comments about hating horses and how horses hate him checks because horses are great at vibe checks, and the dude has absolutely rancid vibes. i do know who horses would absolutely love, though, the blade of frontiers himself. wyll was a horse girl change my mind. that man loves him a horse and can ride bareback no issue on the most ill-tempered mare. he's a horse whisperer.
"Darling!"
"...darling?"
You couldn't take Astarion to see Nosferatu in the theater. Not because it'd be triggering for him or anything. But because every five minutes, he'd turn to you with the saddest eyes imaginable and hysterically ask, "I don't look like that, right?! Most vampires don't look like that!" And you'd have to reassure him through the whole 132 minutes run time.
Astarion: “No one ever cared about me >:\”
Karlach, standing 10ft away: “ME I CARE I CARE SO MUCH”
Astarion, do you really have to stand quite so close?
Shout-out to the time I was doing He Who Was' quest and everyone was just... stood in the way? I'm trying to have a conversation here, lads.
In between playing Baldur's Gate 3 and playing Baldur's Gate 3 (yes, this game consumed all my time) I somehow managed to make a fanart ^^
Of course it is Astarion.
I've been Baldurs Gating a bit too much--
And honestly- romancing Astarion sometimes feels like this 🦈 AND ITS SO FUNNY TO MEJFKSBDIDB
I absolutely love my Tav and Astarion. They just so yes.
(Apologies now for the shit picture quality)
My Tav is a druid and a wood elf. He’s the sweetest boy on the planet. He always does whats right, but isn’t afraid to make a sarcastic comment to someone who pisses him off. He’s just trying to be a genuinely good guy.
While Astarion hates Tav thinks there’s always room at the camp, he can’t help but be amused when Tav slings shit in the goblins’ faces because they were being assholes. Or when he tells Absolute followers to get stuffed cause he doesn’t have the patience for them.
Did he think that the twink treehugger he tackled when they first met and held a knife to his throat would be ever so understanding and sympathetic with him being a vampire? Did he expect that Tav would be patient, and affectionate in a way that didn’t matter if it was romantic or platonic? Of course not. But he’s happy it happened.
Poor Tav didn’t mean to even romance Astarion but when he found out how Astarion felt? Hoo BOY did it make that poor demisexual have some gay panic.
And the best part about them is it doesn’t matter if their relationship is romantic or platonic. They love and care for each other. They’re sassy and just love eachother’s company, no matter what.
Oh yeah; and they like to let Karlach in on them making fun of Cultists and collectively going “oh, let’s smite this bitch.”
Has this been done yet
He’s giving me brainrot
You're gonna look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong??? 😤
I'm just saying
Headcanon!
Bowling headcanon that no one asked for (in addition to the one I did about hockey)
Tav: arranges every single game because they’re the only responsible one; is very good at bowling and owns their own ball, shoes, bag, and towel; somehow never gets a turkey but can hit a 7-10 split
Durge: tries to stab someone when they roll a gutter ball; has to rent shoes; spends the night pretending to sacrifice the pins to Bhaal
Karlach: very good at bowling, but doesn’t take it seriously; tends to order pitchers of beer and gets too drunk to throw the ball down her own lane
Lae’zel: also very good at bowling, but takes the game way too seriously; has her own ball, shoes, bag, towel, and embroidered bowling shirt (Shadowheart embroidered it for her)
Shadowheart (Selûnite): doesn’t bowl, but does like the little claw machine game in the arcade area where she can win owlbear stuffies; cheers on Lae’zel from the spectator area when she’s done playing in the arcade
Shadowheart (Dark Justiciar): what is bowling and who the fuck are these people?
Astarion: much like with hockey, won’t play because he might break a nail (also because even the children’s balls are too heavy for him); spends the whole time gossiping with Jaheira, Shadowheart, and Isobel in the spectator area; tries to convince them to leave and get tacos and margaritas instead because bowling is “droll”
Wyll: very good at bowling and takes it only an inch less serious than Lae’zel; also has his own towel, shirt, bag, shoes, and ball
Gale: spends the entire time “educating” everyone on the historical beginnings of the game and how it has evolved over time; uses magic to cheat because he usually spins gutter balls
Halsin: excellent at bowling; brought the game to the Emerald Grove; is as serious as Wyll and loves it when he gets a turkey (he makes a gobble-gobble noise every time)
Minthara: “IN MENZOBERRANZAN THE MALES RESET THE PINS” (she’s yelling because she and Karlach are having a drinking contest that only Minthara knows about); is surprisingly good at bowling when she’s not sloshed; owns her own ball and shoes, but NOT because she likes the game (she does, but would rather die than admit it)
Jaheira: very good at bowling, but doesn’t play anymore because of arthritis; hangs out with Shadowheart in the spectator area above the pit and cheers on everyone
Minsc: Boo has to remind Minsc how to bowl, but once Minsc understands, he dominates; he also gets very drunk with Karlach
Dame Aylin: same with hockey, she was there when it was created and helped design the lanes; “HARK! THY LANES HATH MARKINGS UPON THEM THAT RESEMBLE MOON MOTES IN HONOR OF MY DIVINE MOTHER” (they’re just arrows and range markers, but don’t tell Aylin that); absolutely amazing at bowling; has her own gear that matches her armor perfectly
Isobel: doesn’t bowl, but comes to every single game to cheer on Dame Aylin and Dame Aylin only; sometimes sneaks off to the arcade with Shadowheart
Bonus -
Mizora: thinks the whole game is idiotic, but wants to be included; doesn’t bowl; spends the whole time making bets on who will get the highest score (but the bet is someone’s soul, cuz, yanno, Mizora)
Ketheric Thorm: very good at bowling - was on a league before his wife and Isobel died; spends the night trying to reconnect with Isobel by telling her “back in my day” stories (it doesn’t go well)
Orin: same as Durge, really, but with a dash more chaos; she also rents shoes but doesn’t wear socks
Gortash: greasy ass fry cook (I will not apologize)
BG3 Companions as Weird Old Newspaper Clippings (courtesy of yesterdaysprint)
Wyll:
Karlach:
Gale:
Halsin:
Lae'zel:
Shadowheart:
Astarion:
Jaheira:
Minsc:
Minthara:
They had to stop interviewing the vampire because his wife had one of those moments
haters and losers jealous they don't have a vampire bf who will say strange and off putting things in public
from my BG chara's sketchbook, made these as 'assets' for a bigger piece I'm working on with her
