Ask Aph Nordics - Blog Posts

APH Nordics as things from our discord server quote wall

(Is this a server plug? Maybe.)

Denmark 🇩🇰: Fucking Norwegians took my braincell, can’t have shit in Denmark

Norway 🇳🇴: I hope satan rejects your application to be his sugar baby

Iceland 🇮🇸: Watch this! *dies* ah, piss

Sweden 🇸🇪: I’m going to commit arson in the name of Finland

Finland 🇫🇮: Captain, I want to get this battery but the clap of my ass cheeks won’t let me get close

Pls join our server, I spent ages yesterday ✨spicing it up✨ 😩 You can vibe with us, play games with us and add to the quote wall, what’s not to love?

https://discord.com/invite/pchymkdJMc

*playing mario kart*

Norway 🇳🇴: Omg you found a shortcut

Iceland 🇮🇸: Actually I think that route was longer than the actual track

Norway 🇳🇴:

Norway 🇳🇴: Omg you found a longcut

*playing mario kart*

Denmark 🇩🇰: I’m so good at this game I never lose

Sweden 🇸🇪: You seem to be losing a lot for someone who never loses

So basically, we were left to “babysit” Åland, who has a rather... questionable relationship with Den (and Nor). To combat this, Nor decided it would be a brilliant idea to get extremely drunk and force me to play overcooked with him to “entertain” everyone. He tried to convince Den to play, but he refused because apparently he was off his ADHD meds and was practically falling asleep (although he just seemed high to me). Anyway, chaos ensued. 

-Ice 🇮🇸

(thank you to @never-enough-fandoms (as Den) and @karinsnightmareparty (as  Åland) for helping create the extra chaos in this video)

I would REALLY like to know what the inspiration behind your pfp was, please it absolutely KILLS me every time I see it it's so cursed in the best way possible

HAHA IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT

It’s actually from this video I made back in January before this blog even existed, but I just found myself too funny to NOT use that picture as the pfp for this blog

The rest of the video is just as cursed as that one image, I can assure you

-Lizard 🦎

Do I only ever send asks when I’m in a pickle ? Yes because it makes for a good laugh when everyone drops everything to help stop the chaos .-🇦🇽🦇

Sweden 🇸🇪: It seems to me like you just like giving people heart attacks with all the chaos you create, but honestly you get used to it when you’ve had to deal with Denmark pretty much your whole life

Denmark 🇩🇰:

Sealand tried to drink vodka again I’ve managed to stop him before he died of alcahol poisoning but now he’s passed on the couch after going FERAL , send help soon I’m playing Pokémon sapphire to cope with the stress but I don’t want to deal with a hungover 12 year old -🇦🇽🦇

Run.

*playing mario kart*

Denmark 🇩🇰: *gets hit by the lightning power up thing* Oh god why am I so small?

Sweden 🇸🇪: You have entered the Finland simulator

Norway 🇳🇴: POV: you are Finland

Finland 🇫🇮:

Want to know how to make Sweden extremely frustrated? Making him play golf usually does the trick :)

-Den 🇩🇰

So, we were just playing some human fall flat, but...

Yeah. Den fell, Nor tried to catch him and also fell, then I tried to catch Nor. Result? Human chain.

-Ice 🇮🇸

*playing keep talking and nobody explodes*

Finland 🇫🇮: We have complicated wires

Sweden 🇸🇪: I’m not doing that one

Denmark 🇩🇰: Nah I don’t have the brain cells for that right now

Finland 🇫🇮: Lol thanks guys, okay so it’s white with an LED and no star

*silence*

Finland 🇫🇮: Oh you were being serious

*playing keep talking and nobody explodes*

Denmark 🇩🇰: Okay we have symbols

Norway 🇳🇴: No the knob is beeping you need to do that or we’ll explode

Denmark 🇩🇰: So, there’s an A with a dick, a-

Norway 🇳🇴: NO BITCH YOU NEED TO FIDDLE WITH THE KNOB

*playing phasmophobia*

Finland 🇫🇮: *very dramatically* WAIT LEAVE, THE GHOST IS IN THE ROOM WITH YOU

Iceland 🇮🇸: Haha nice try, you won’t get me that easily

Ghost: *slams the door and starts fucking screeching*

Iceland 🇮🇸: OH SHIT OH SHIT FUCK WAIT LET ME OUT

Finland 🇫🇮: Oh wait it was actually in there? I was joking

Iceland 🇮🇸: FUCK YOU *dies*

So, we attempted the high school map on professional in phasmophobia...

As you can tell, it went really really well

We got hunted 6 times, used all our sanity pills within the first 5 minutes, and only got one piece of evidence before we bailed out :)

(for anyone wondering, it was a wraith, but none of us guessed correctly)

-Den 🇩🇰

Today we learned that squads games never really go well when you’re playing with 2 random strangers and also that Norway really hates fruit :) 

-Den 🇩🇰

*playing phasmophobia*

Norway 🇳🇴: IT’S FLICKING THE LIGHTS IT’S FUCKING WITH ME I’M LEAVING

Finland 🇫🇮: Wait it’s flicking lights? Hold on I wanna check for fingies

Norway 🇳🇴: I DON’T WANNA CHECK FOR ANYTHING I WANNA GO HOME

*playing phasmophobia*

Ghost: *does the spooky breath thing*

Finland 🇫🇮: Hey bitch, we’re in a global panorama, you can’t go around breathing on people

Sweden 🇸🇪: ... Panorama?

Ghost: *appears right next to Fin*

Finland 🇫🇮: EXCUSE ME THIS ISN’T SOCIAL DISTANCING, PLEASE GET YOUR CRUSTY ASS SIX FEET AWAY FROM ME

Sweden 🇸🇪:

*playing cooking mama wii (yes you read that right, don’t question it)*

Denmark 🇩🇰: I’m moving my wiimote but it’s not working :(

Norway 🇳🇴: You’re looking at the wrong bit of the screen you idiot, you’re on the top half

Denmark 🇩🇰: Oh god I am, sorry I’m used to being on bottom

What’s everyone’s tolerance for horror games? For both Nordics and Admins ;)

Finland - This man has BALLS OF STEEL. Zero fucks given. 10/10 would fight a monster and win.

Iceland - Holds himself together pretty well, but nowhere near as well as Fin. Overall a pretty solid effort on his part

Sweden - Similar to Ice, generally deals pretty well with horror and gore, although jump scares tend to get to him a little

Denmark - Can only deal with horror when he’s drunk *cough*ThatOnePhasmophobiaVideoWhereHeTriedToFuckTheGhost*cough*. When he’s sober he just cries most of the time.

Norway - Hates horror with a passion. Can’t stand it, is a scared little bitch, will only play horror games/watch horror movies if held at gunpoint. Isn’t too bothered by gore but any other kind of horror is a big no to him

Lizard - Love horror movies, horror games kinda fuck with me a little more but I get desensitised to them pretty quickly (read: I got obsessed with phasmophobia a few months ago and now it’s hard for me and my 105 levels to get scared by it anymore). Literally can’t stand jump scares because I have ✨anxiety✨, I started playing at dead of night recently and I don’t think my poor heart can take it lmfao

Cereal - I fucking hate it. But it's so addicting. Only started playing phasmophobia for Lizard. But holy fuck. Ghosts love to fucking exhale down your neck. Like take your kinky ass somewhere else bruh. I can play the game better when drunk :)

How the FUCK do you come up with the ideas for your text posts 💀

Every single text post comes from things that we’ve said during gaming sessions!

I’ve literally started writing things that I find funny down in a note on my phone as they happen so that I can turn them into text posts later, I think that one note is the reason I have no storage left on my phone lmfao

-Lizard 🦎

*playing cooking mama wii (yes you read that right, don’t question it)*

Denmark 🇩🇰: Wait, you need to turn the wiimote for this?

Sweden 🇸🇪: Yes, you need to hold it the other way

Denmark 🇩🇰: Okay things are getting serious, the strap is coming off

*playing mario kart*

Denmark 🇩🇰: Oh god I drove head first into a banana

Norway 🇳🇴: Banana straight to the mouth

Denmark 🇩🇰: The dream 😩

Iceland 🇮🇸:

*playing mario kart*

Norway 🇳🇴: DON’T COME NEAR ME

Denmark 🇩🇰: I want to touch you

Norway 🇳🇴: STOP FONDLING ME

At least one person has to have alcohol in their system while playing this game, right? ;) 

-Fin 🇫🇮

I have a question why am I the Nordic nobody remembers ? Hel most people remember faroe but not me ??!? These “accurate” in game world maps are bs .

- a currently very displeased åland who just wanted to play a to scale Minecraft world map but can’t find one with me in it....

Sweden: I’d offer to make you a map, but I’m quite busy at the minute

Denmark: Maybe if you were as cool as me you would be in every map 😎

today is a very special day

KAY YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING LEGEND I LOVE YOU THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

*playing mario kart*

Iceland 🇮🇸: I’m gonna throw this shell at you

Norway 🇳🇴: It’s fine it’s green it won’t hit me

*immediately gets hit*

Norway 🇳🇴: WHY IS EVERYONE SO PIXEL PERFECT WITH THE GREEN SHELLS

Iceland 🇮🇸:

*playing human fall flat*

Finland 🇫🇮: Oh god, who did I just kill?

Iceland 🇮🇸: Me :(

Finland 🇫🇮: I’m so sorry, I just body slammed you into orbit

*playing human fall flat*

Denmark 🇩🇰: Guys we’ve got this, we’re gamers!

Norway 🇳🇴: We’ve been stuck on this part for 30 minutes

Denmark 🇩🇰: ... I’ve got this, I’m a gamer

Norway 🇳🇴: Yes but you’ve also been stuck here for 30 minutes

Denmark 🇩🇰:

*playing human fall flat*

Finland 🇫🇮: Which button is the rag doll button again?

Sweden 🇸🇪: Y.

Finland 🇫🇮: Because I think you have to rag doll to be able to get to that platform.

Sweden 🇸🇪: No I meant the button is Y.

Finland 🇫🇮:

Sweden 🇸🇪:

Finland 🇫🇮: oh