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4nerex1a - Blog Posts

2 months ago

The not-eating after my class was cooking went well yesterday, the teacher was so busy, she didn't even pay attention to me

Now that but four more times to go still 🥲


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2 months ago

My class will go on a one week sailing trip in summer, so we're practicing what we'll cook and stuff, starting tomorrow - and I'm so scared. There's no way I'll eat at school, and even though it's kind of established between my friends and I that I just won't eat, what should I tell my teachers or other class mates if they ask?

I could go to the bathroom for a while once it's eating time, but what other things are there?

Please give some kind of advice guys 🥲


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2 months ago

Guys im so angry, because I just ate a protein bar as I always do a little while before eating dinner with my family (so I feel more full and won't stuff myself) and then headed off to orchestra practice but then my mom called after me to take my keys with me because...... My parents won't be there this evening.

Meaning I could've easily fasted until tomorrow evening but noo I had to eat that stupid protein bar.

It's fine; I can just run the calories off but it'll still be that I have eaten when I could've stayed hungry 🥲


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2 months ago

I can't believe I was actually considering thinking about thinking to consider recovery, when my siblings apparently see me the way they do - and if all it took was that and a good scroll through Tumblr then I guess I really wouldn't be ready at all


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2 months ago

I'm so torn between wanting to move out and get as sick as possible living alone and wanting to be recovered by then.

Because the ed part of me has been waiting for that since I first developed it, but then I actually want to make it in life, maybe I'll be studying physics or chemistry and I'll NEED brain power for that, and I can't keep thinking about food 24/7 then, I know it'll likely never fully go away and at the moment, I'm not even trying to get better, but I just don't know what to do

I don't think I want to recover yet - let alone that I would be able to right now - but I know that at some point I'll have to if I ever want to be more than I am right now

Could someone please give me some kind of advice 🥹


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2 months ago

Gay with an eating disorder?

Nah man I go by wlwlw

(Get it? Please tell me someone gets it lol)


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2 months ago

I'm so upset right now, because I've planned out every food I was going to eat for the day and it's been going so well, but now my parents insist they make something for the entire family to eat for dinner, and even if it's soup (and slightly lower in calories than what I would've had otherwise) I'm really quite angry I couldn't follow through with my plan :(

Also, I have no way to count the calories of what my parents cook and that makes it scary no matter what it is, but hey- they're making just soup


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3 months ago

Hello!

I'm E. I kind of got a lot of interests and then none at all, but my hobbies are music (especially Cello and singing), art sometimes, science, movies and shows, Hermitcraft and my ed.

It's what I'll be posting about mainly, so dni if you aren't fine with seeing content about eating disorders. I'll probably talk about self harm as well.

By the way, my languages are English and German, so even though I'd say I'm relatively fluent in English, errors can still happen, soooo do be forgiving I guess :)

This is a shitty intro post and I might update it later, but I'm lazy af so who knows if that'll actually ever happen.

Always looking for mutuals! :D

Stats below cut

Height: 173 cm (5.8ft)

Hw/Sw: 70.4kg (155lbs)

Cw: 65.6kg (144lbs)

Gw: 65.0kg (143lbs)

Gw: 60.0kg (132lbs)

Gw: 55.5kg (122lbs)

Gw: 50.0kg (110lbs)

Let me know if I messed up with the imperial units lol


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