NINI ITS YOU??? ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

In every interaction with someone I really like I can't help but express a possessive/stalker feeling

damn, I wish a was normal and not a fucking little creep craving for a meaningful relationship

heart hurts ow ouch ouchie aw auch ouch ouch

Who wants to be the:

for my:

I want to cry and sleep and cry and sleep and tear out my heart with my bare hands, I am aware that I am a disgusting person but still-

it just feels unfair

My brain: u need to be kind with people cuz you're going to need them someday!

Also my brain: You don't need anyone cuz you're going to kill yourself in... three days!

💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome >:p 💌

Yaaayyy!!~~ <33 luv ya/p

I have the ability to hate everything without actually hating anything at all.

And I hate it.

The real reason my ED didn't continue to be active is not because it magically healed.

If it were up to me, I'd probably be a bone by now, but mother always "worries" about me, so I simply had to suppress that way of wanting to destroy me.

And something similar is happening with the fact of sh.

I honestly think I feel like I'm sinking deeper if I don't have a way to get the pain out that my brain is making me feel.

I feel so heartbroken, in fact I've felt heartbroken since August of last year and it's getting worse but I'm also getting used to the feeling.

Although, of course, getting used to it doesn't mean that it won't stop being agonizing to feel someone ripping my heart out with their bare hand.

I want to rip my heart out, I want to pierce it, I just want to get rid of it, get rid of me.

It's so hard to focus on things, I want to sleep so I don't think, I want to sleep so I don't feel, closing my eyes is the only way I can control all those annoying thoughts.

I think if I gaslight myself into deceiving myself that my husband is actually my real husband all my problems will disappear.

(or at least the loneliness ones)