Yanattheloom - Untitled

Hope I'm not derailing at all, but I had a very similar experience trying to get breastforms for a friend of mine.

Can't make this up, one of the only two companies we found that made breast forms for darker skin just didn't fucking bother colouring in the areolas.

For the record, the lighter toned breastform they made had them colored in. It was literally only the one geared towards Black people that didn't. I genuinely cannot think of any good faith explanation for this.

Roughly speaking, we could find 1-4 light skin toned breastforms per company. After going through god knows how many, we found two geared towards black people, and one of them was the aforementioned No Areola breastform. And if you had anything in the middle, you were simply shit out of luck, as my friend was.

I have had better luck finding packers and straps for more varied skin tones where I am, but evidently that's not a universal experience.

So I'm starting this thing with this guy and I went to an *ahem* adult goods store because my previous harness is a modified pair of briefs that was tight when I was about 20lbs lighter and most assuredly I do not fit anymore and he's coming over in 2 weeks so I don't quite trust shipping atm

But also within that store was genuinely nothing that could even be close to my skin tone. They had "realistic" white skintones, bright purple and pink, and a few solid black or solid grey. Nothing in browner skin tones.

And it just reminded me of how much antiblackness is baked into society. That the only realistic penis is apparently one that belongs gs to a white man, and that black bodies are so undesirable while white bodies are considered the default.

it really is convenient that when people want to erase and minimize the danger that trans mascs face there's suddenly never a middle step between being pre-everything and being fully transitioned and perfectly passing, and trans mascs are always conveniently the safest one in every situation.

trans mascs have "afab privilege" because at any given moment they could just pretend to be a conventionally feminine cis woman for safety (which as we know has no associated trauma or danger to it whatsoever).

and of course trans mascs Also have male privilege, because at any given moment they can Only be read as cis men so long as they don't disclose that they're trans (because it's So Easy for trans people to be gender conforming to everyone's standards 100% of the time with no risk of being outed, obviously).

there's never a thought given towards what happens to trans mascs who are somewhere in between or who present one way in the wrong situation.

what happens to the trans masc who's been on T for 10 years who's visibly pregnant? who needs to escape an abusive situation? are they supposed to just perfectly pass as a cis woman to never experience transphobia and get the help that they need? is that their afab privilege at work?

what happens to people who are too masculine to pee in women's restrooms without the risk of getting harassed (or potentially arrested or murdered) but too feminine to risk getting clocked in the men's restrooms? is it male privilege to be afraid of what might happen to you no matter where you go?

and what happens to the fully transitioned trans mascs who don't Want to be masculine, who don't Want to be gender conforming? what happens to the trans mascs who are pre-everything who don't Want to be feminine?

are trans mascs supposed to just conform to whatever gender people Think they should be regardless of how they feel about it forever? and then what, disappear in the middle and come back when they're "Basically Cis Men" ?

what if you don't Want top surgery? what if you don't Want bottom surgery? what if you Can't do hrt for health or safety or money reasons? are you supposed to just suffer forever and choose the safest way to present and call it Privilege?

and none of this is Only relevant to trans mascs, of course it's not.

but trans mascs never get spoken about like we're visibly trans or visibly gnc (unless it's to make fun of us for having huge tits and wanting to go by he/him). and That's what erasure is. to pretend like our experiences do not exist and insist that we don't Deserve help or community because we Obviously have it so easy.

non-transmasc. before you is a transmasc person talking about their experiences with being transmasculine and the oppression that they experience for being transmasculine. the bomb detonates if you tell them to just call it transphobia, if you imply their oppression/experience is incorrect, if you tell them that they signed up for it for being transmasculine. begin.

too lazy to make this an actual well articulated post rn but here are some snippets of a conversation i had tonight

tamago tamago tamagotchi

So many people are so against transmasc headcannons that it is genuinely sad. I have seen so many people accusing trans men of “erasing women” and saying that a trans man existing is somehow less progressive than a cis woman. Saying that every character would just be better if they were a woman. I have also seen a lot of “the only headcannoning that can happen is if it’s a trans woman”, but for the most part I have seen people angry about “erasing cis women”.

My first experience with this was very early in my trans journey, back before I’d realized myself. I had read a book about Peter Pan being a trans man originally called Wendy. It was the first time I had ever seen a trans man represented in media. It felt so right and exciting that I immediately went online (never a good idea) hoping to experience more about the book.

I found two videos about the book, one by a poc trans man saying it was a really good book and that others should read it but not really diving into the themes very much, and the other was by a white nonbinary person that spent the entire video hating on the book. Accusing the author (a trans man) of being a pedophile and of erasing woman, just going on an on about how horrible of a book it was. Adding that any man who liked a trans man was just a pedophile because trans men look like children. I was going through a really rough part of my life, feeling really suicidal and conflicted about being trans. And here was this video destroying the one bit of positivity I had and spouting the very things that had been making me feel so conflicted about being trans in the first place. The very things the world was screaming in my face.

I wonder if I would have figured myself out much sooner if I hadn’t had to experience that.

I'm very, very sorry anon. You didn't deserve to be put through that.

watching y’all shamelessly send transmascs and trans men death and rape threats for daring to talk about their oppression is fucking wild btw. There’s a transmasc confessions account that got so many fucking death/rape threats that one mod had to leave tumblr for a while and the other had to make a post being like “hey uhm so we’re both minors. Y’all have been telling teens to kill themselves. Hope you feel good about yourselves!”

Genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you people.

on kindness.

@shanastoryteller // @delepiphany on pinterest // @girlmostlikely // @anotherchocolate12 on tiktok // @frogus // @xotwodstarr on pinterest // the smiths, i know it's over

I will say as someone who previously followed genderqueerdykes before shit was brought to my attention like a week ago, I think a lot of people don't know and it's important to like, kindly inform these people of what's going on with actual examples of shit someone has said/done, especially given how rampant baseless accusations towards trans folks of all flavours are. Because some of us may not be following them super closely (as was my case), or may not have been doing so for a super long time, or maybe even are so wrapped up in their own hurt that they need someone else to tell them to take a step back and think.

When I first saw accusations towards genderqueerdykes, it was being misgendered on anon in a very hostile tone and no evidence of any claims was provided, so I immediately went on the defensive and figured it was someone acting in bad faith. When someone else actually responded and provided shit, I was like, shit, this is, uh, horrifically transmisogynyistic, and I'm glad it was brought to my attention, I will be blocking it.

So I think it's best to approach these people, if you feel safe doing so, and provide an explanation + evidence. Some of us are just fr out of the loop.

I feel like there's a decently large group of people in trans discourse who, in my mind, if you still engage with is a little suspicious.

Obviously I know that most people don't always know whats going on, and callouts as a whole suck, you can't possibly know always when someone's a raging transandrophobe or transmisogynist or general bigot. So BOD is important.

But with a few names I feel like it should kind of become public knowledge. People like genderqueerdykes or thicced-witch kind of people.

Like obviously there's nothing wrong with not knowing something.

I'm just saying. Like, don't most people know atp?