Xloverxx - Xlover

"oh please mr harker listen to me talk for hours so you can correct my already-perfect english" okay slut

"don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you"

Bc starwars has those heavy ass automatic doors do you think instead of saying “don’t let the door hit you on your way out” it would be more appropriate to say “don’t let the door crush you to death on your way out”? While making excessive eye contact during the delivery of the phrase.

May 11:

Today we meet Lucy Westenra, who has a crush

…

A little bonus:

Oh, Dracula

Johnathan Harker: Oh my God, I am a prisoner in this wretched castle! Nothing but prey for that bewildering Dracula fellow! There is no hope for me but to pray I arise no suspicion in Dracula so I may delay the inevitable.

Dracula, washing Johnathan’s dishes: This is going great. I’m gonna get a good grade in being human, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

I appreciate Dracula’s efforts in running a one man hotel

He deserves better

do it for uncle iroh

all this talk of vanilla extract is reminding me of this tumblr screenshot classic

i love it when people are obsessed with their wives. it’s like yeah that’s literally what you’re supposed to do

goals for 2024

- be an idgafer