Latest Posts by xevrq - Page 5

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!(𝐲/𝐧)

A/N : AAAAAAAA STREAMER!AYATO HAS BEEN A HUGE BRAINROT FOR ME AND IT SHOWS IN MY 3.4K HCS; MY LONGEST ONE YET 😭 actually will just sob over him in my eu alt bc i have him there and hHHHHHH HES SO <333333

masterlist

omg ayato as a streamer??

ayato as a streamer _(:з)∠)_

…

PogU—

alright. so.

we all know ayato is a true gentleman, right?

right.

so obviously that means his community’s first impressions of him were good ones !! they all thought of him to be this gentle, kind man who enjoys chatting about anything and everything with an angelic smile and a melodious laugh

i mean, they’re not wrong, per se, but they only touched the surface that is Kamiyato

Kamiyato is live! Would you like some tea?

Keep reading

Kamisato Ayato x Reader

Notes: just a small something since he came home. Gender-neutral terms, blood & injury mention, protective boyf Ayato✨

Cornered, you considered your options. Run and risk the two men chasing you? Fight back and risk a black eye at the least, all while your lover’s jacket turned dirty with your blood?

You really had no way out, pressing yourself impossibly closer into the alleyway as though it were possible for the wall to swallow you and transport you elsewhere. To think all this happened over a misunderstanding.

“You scum, wearing the Commissioner’s coat like that.”

You opened your mouth to protest, a hoarse and cracked sound pleading for a break. “No, I - “

The man puffed out his cheeks, an ugly red colour popping through his face in profound anger. “Unless you’re some whore who ran off indecently with the Commisioner, threatening to tear down his reputation!”

The man accompanying him scoffed, adding in another sentence before you could get a word in. “So which is it, are you a filthy thief or have you seduced our honourable Yashiro Commisioner?”

You sigh. The men were harassing you over borrowing Ayato’s coat to keep you warm from the cooling winds. You only wanted to run your errands around Hanamizaka in peace, not be cornered and threatened for something clearly trivial.

“Ah, is there a problem here?”

Thank Narukami. Your shoulders immediately relaxed upon hearing the familiar cadence of your boyfriend as he directed the men’s attention to him.

“They think I stole your coat!” You called over the men, seeing the silent confusion written on Ayato’s face.

The two men’s eyes widened comically as they looked at one another and shook their heads. “Commissioner! We were simply looking out for you! We aren’t sure what they were doing parading around in your - “

Ayato held a hand in the air to stop them from continuing. Clearly, these scoundrels held no respect or foresight whatsoever.

“It appears to me that you’ve unnecessarily cornered my partner,” Ayato motioned to your form huddled against the wall, still shaken but less scared than before, “surely the two of you can see that I am not in my coat now, yes? I fail to see why any of this is worth scaring them.”

“Lord Kamisato, we - “

“A clear oversight on my part. It seems that I haven’t done my duty as well as I would have liked.”

Ayato walks past the two men, stance and posture upright, determined, graceful. He approached you and carefully leans to capture your chin between his fingers, tilting it ever so slightly to meld his lips lovingly against your own.

Pulling back slowly and softly, a satisfied hum reverberating upon seeing your shocked and confused expression and sensing the two men still present behind him, Ayato gives them a pointed look.

“My duty is to protect those closest to me. If either of you approach them again, it will be your last.”

“You can’t possibly threaten us, that wouldn’t be a good look for you, Commissioner - “

“Ah,” Ayato grinned, “the two of you look familiar. I believe… yes. You two have committed numerous acts against the Tri-Commission in the past through petty games - namely tax evasion. I protect Inazuma and therefore, you two have disrespected the Raiden Shogun by neglecting your citizen’s duty. You understand the consequences of directly harming a Tri-Commission member,” he motions to you, as you were his and thus affiliated with the Yashiro Commision, “Perhaps that is enough cause to, eloquently put, stay quiet?”

That was enough to send the two into a flurry of apologies, profusely bowing before they ran out of the alleyway with their tails beneath their legs.

Ayato gave a soft smile, turning back to you and trapping you between the wall and him with his arm next to your head.

“Now, where were we?”

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡

❝ May I request the “making him laugh” prompt you did before, but with albedo, kazuha and scaramouche, please? ❞

; I’m so sorry this took so long! Keyboard issues- but I hope it’s okay regardless :D

; 4/4/22

; Fluff

; CW: physical touch, gossiping (scaramouche)

pt. 1 !

     𝗔𝗹𝗯𝗲𝗱𝗼 ‘𝗞𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘇’

✧ All you have to do to make the renowned Chief Alchemist burst out into honey-sweet laughter is make a fool of yourself: being clumsy with equipment, acting silly to appease Klee, anything like that. Obviously he’d be somewhat upset if you managed to knock over or soil really important notes, but watching you stumble around all flustered just brings a smile to his face. You just look so…adorable; scrambling to apologize and simultaneously clean up the spilled bottle of water that you mistook for something severely important- why is he laughing so hard, this is serious!! You’d sigh, picking up the bottle before you fully caught a look at him- then you were awestruck. He’s beautiful when he laughs, and his laughter itself sounds like a song even a renowned bard wouldn’t do justice.

Keep reading

Literally the reader is exactly like my oc aha

༊*·˚『 Character Trailer: (Name) The First Harbinger Of The Eleven  』

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ SUMMARY: (literally my oc- but here we go *sigh) (Name), they were from Khaenri'ah. Their fate had been already decided. Cursed with immortality by Rex Lapis(j̷̯̀̍̀ͅü̷͓͖̚s̶̡̝͔̟͝t̵̯̳͍̓͘ ̴̟̠̓͆l̷͉̯͒i̴̤͊͑ḱ̴̢̛͓̦̺̆̓e̸̩̹̽̅̈́͘ ̸͉͒́̎͝h̸̲̰͒ǐ̸̩̺̅̋̚m̸̙̯̬̟̍̏̇), (Name)'s ice blue eyes burning witht the though of revenge. Getting a cryo vision at a young age, they though of nothing but p̵̛̹̪̟̅ͅỏ̷̢͎̯͋̇̆́͝͝w̷̞̜̘̱͔̜̦̾̈́̓ë̵̛̛̯͎́̃̕̕r̷̨̭͕̔̒͐̕,

Note: Might turn this into series. Let me know what you think.

✧ ONE DAY, I WILL REBUILD KHAENRI'AH! ✧

❝ I see potential in you. ❞ A cryo vision shined, taking the shape of star(like primogem aight). ❝ You want revenge, you want to rip those apart who destroyed your nation, to rip those apart who killed your people, to rip him apart who cursed you. ❞ The child's tear filled gaze was locked on the star shaped cryo vision which they grip tightly. The vision shined brightly which gave a chill breeze. Tsaritsa stepped from the shadows, her ice-like eyes was locked on the child. She kneeled down in front of them and holded her hand towards to them, her eyes holded a familiar emotion in them. ❝ Come with me, i promise you the power which you desperately seek. ❞

✧˖*°࿐

Having a deep connection with the abyss had both good and bad sides. You'd often seen with a abyss monster(abyss herald or abyss mage doesn't matter)with you, that what some people worked at the fatui says. I could be true or not, but no one could dare to open their mouth when you are there, you are the first harbinger, its enough for them to be scared. Your ice-blue eyes often remined them the tsaritsa, but you're far more different then her. You simply had...other plans. To rebuild your nation. Yes, even the though of rebuilding khaenri'ah would put a satisfying smile on your face. Being the First of the Eleven had it own advanteges. You of course had a delusion, but yours,, is a bit special lets say. With the delusion you could control the other elements other than cryo, im not only saying just one or two, you could control all of them with the delusion. One second you were using hydro, and now you switched to electro, and- You simply didn't had a limit. Thats why Tartaglia loves to spar with you, even if you glare at him cause of how much he 'invites himself' through your office's door to ask you to spar with him for the nth time. Ugh, he really is annoying. But you two get along quite well actually, its- its just hes doing all the talking!

✧˖*°࿐

❝ You're like what? Thousand years old maybe? And yet, you're still hot and shit- ❞ You contiuned to walk ignoring the ginger who was trying to flirt you- ❝ (Namee)! C'mon! Don't ignore mee! ❞ You didn't bulge when he clinged onto your shoulder, fatui agents worriedly looked at the both of you, still didn't understand you hadn't snapped at the ginger yet. You were fine with it, at this point it became a daily routine with Tartaglia's flirting. For him, You are the most trustable, you knew what the abyss looked like, no- you knew the deeper parts of the abyss. Yet, Tartaglia found comfort within you, you sighed ❝ Get a hold of yourself. You're making both of us look like idiots. ❞ It was enough for him to return back his spot without and words.

✧˖*°࿐

Dottore respected you. The one and only person he could respect. You deserve your reputation and your power. He can't help but get jealous, cause of how much the tsaritsa gives you her precious attention. Sigh, he is interested in your connection with the abyss tho,, well, you won't reject answering some of his questions will you? ❝ Stunning as always (Name) ❞ you only hummed, the tiredness can read through your eyes. ❝ Did the tsaritsa gave you too much paper again? Y'know you could always come to me- ❞ ❝ No need, i'll just get coffee and go back to my office. I still have things to do. ❞ oh, how sharp your tongue was. He pouted and sat back onto his chair, and watched you leave. You really dont want people to stand in your way huh? He sighed and looked back to the papers in front of him.

✧˖*°࿐

La Signora trusted you with her everything. You were there for her when no one stayed by her side. You two had a close relationship. She would espacially take her seat near you in fatui meetings, just to show off. You'd always ask her opinion, that what gets her giddy inside. ❝ Thats all for today. You all can leave now. ❞ said Tsaritsa with a cold voice, you side-eyed signora, she cleared her throat and whispered some things. You nodded, feeling satisfied with her response. ❝ Hm. You never fail me Signora. ❞ ❝ I would never. Im glad that our thoughs are same. ❞ feeling proud, she smiled.

✧˖*°࿐

Another one who sits near you in fatui meetings. Scaramouche admired you. You'd always, always complete your missions without any problem. Scaramouche knew your plan, and you knew his. ❝ (Name), do you have a moment? I need to talk with you about something. ❞ Scaramouche crossed his arms while looking at your way, you had a paper in your hand which you've been looking at it for a few minutes by now. ❝ Yes, i do. Shall we go to my office? ❞ ❝ That'd be great. ❞ Tartaglia pouted and crossed his arms over his chest, you'd never invite him to your office! Just what did that gremling had that he didn't have huh?! ❝ Eleven, don't make that face behind my back. ❞ Scaramouche snickered at the ginger ❝ Wha- I- I didn't do anything-! You don't invite me to your office quite often like you do with that gremlin!! ❞ ❝ hAH?!? WHAT DID YOU JUST CALLED ME-!? ❞ ❝ Thats because i don't have to. You invite yourself into my office everyday- ❞

This post belongs to @/rain-impact do not steal or use.

This is too good seriously too good holy shit....

put a ring on it.

premise. snippets of daily life between a humble servant and an increasingly clingy master.

word count. 5.2k

note. reader full of snark + dumbass in love ayato = gratuitous amount of banter. i have to say that ayato never goes out of line though, and you're not actually bothered by his advances; you're just a massive tsundere.

“With all due respect, I don't believe being your headrest is part of my duty, my lord.”

“Is that so?”

The noncommittal response pointedly marks the end of his acknowledgement as Ayato makes no effort to sit up, remaining slumped against your frame. His head rests upon your shoulder, a ticklish sensation blooming where the junction between your neck and chin meet. Pale blue hair trail prickling heat where it grazes your skin, an itch you can't quite scratch away.

Even so, the discomfort doesn't reflect on your face, frigid expression carefully layered with blankness. His sinking weight fails to impede your immaculate posture, refined poise a great disparity from his leisurely disposition. It paints an odd picture, the ordinarily faultless heir lacking decorum. Though granted the freedom to do as he wishes in the private confines of his room, it is a mystery why a servant such as you is... graciously permitted to bask in his exclusive company. In the private confines of his room. You feel the need to emphasize that detail.

In his hands lays a scroll concerning governmental affairs, urgent matters that demand his attention, so you can't begin to comprehend why he insists on using this time to harass reward a lowly servant with his valuable presence when there is business to attend to.

He leans more of his weight to your side, and he—you nearly sputter indignantly—mimics an action that can almost be described as nuzzling. “Mhm. This is convenient for me, since I've hardly found the time to rest today. Do you find it intolerable?”

Ignoring the last bit, you advise, “Perhaps it would be more effective if you were to rest in your chambers. I will come call when the Kanjou Commission asks for you.”

He pretends to consider it for a moment, the silence filled with the quiet jingle of wind chimes. Predictably, the corners of his mouth hook up to a smile. “I would prefer to stay, if you don't mind?”

Resigned to your fate, you can only say, “Of course not, my lord.”

For reasons you cannot fathom, the head of the Kamisato household harbors a strong attachment to you.

In normal circumstances, this fact would be taken as great news; presently, you are little more than puzzled and unfeeling. Rather than delight, dread stirs in your stomach whenever he calls your name in a volume louder than necessary—a conscious decision, you presume, since he seems to interact with other servants just fine. Curt and polite, keeping his words concise, preventing further delay from addressing his responsibilities.

Had you not known better, you wouldn't be able to identify him as the same man who indulges in trivialities when he invites you to share snacks, engaging in frivolous chatter over tea and pastries. With increasing frequency nonetheless, and with varying refreshments each time to boot, ranging from an assortment of wagashi. Strawberry daifuku on one tea break, mizu-yokan on the next, sakura mochi on the day after that... You've been serving him for a considerable amount of time, but he's never been much of a sweet tooth until as of late.

Ayato hums thoughtfully, savoring the sweet taste on his tongue. “The mild flavor is pleasant. I believe it might be to your liking.”

He offers you a cup, steam curling above the warm brew. The pink beverage glistens beneath the sunlight, rippling with movement when you take it into your hands. It doesn't require much thinking to conclude the tea leaves must've cost a fortune, but it leaves you plenty of questions just as well. Why would a benefactor give you a taste of luxury?

But you would be a fool not to appreciate it while it lasts, so you lift the cup for a sip.

The flavor of spring bursts in your mouth, fragrant and tasting of sweet nectar. Your frosty guise wavers under the bribery, bliss crossing your face before your lips quirk up to a small, almost imperceptible smile.

Deeming your elated reaction satisfactory, Ayato nudges the plate of confections towards your side of the table. “Eat. They pair well with the tea.”

Who are you to say no to your lord? Therefore, the correct choice must be to gratefully accept his gifts!

(Distracted by desserts, you fail to see his amusement in the way you stuff your cheeks full adorably like a chipmunk.

But he's aware it's not the right time yet, so he suppresses the urge to pinch your face.)

Kamisato Ayato is often praised for his intellect and cunning mind, but sometimes you wonder if he'd finally gone stupid after all that overthinking.

“My hand feels cold,” he laments, as if he hadn't chucked away his gloves ten seconds prior. “Can I hold yours for a moment?”

Ayaka, for her part, looks ashamed on her brother's behalf. With a graceful flick of her wrist, her fan snaps open and obscures the mortified expression on her face. Thoma's bottom lip quivers, valiantly repressing his bubbling laughter though he turns quite ugly in the process.

Sending a prayer to the heavens, you hope your face looks as unreadable as you think it to be. “...I'll fetch you a pair of gloves,” you say, side-stepping the pair he just abandoned on the floor.

“Mhm. That won't be necessary,” he counters, tugging on the edge of your sleeve. “You see, I heard those granted Pyro Visions have warmer body temperature...”

That is undoubtedly a lie he conjures up on the spot.

“...So I was hoping to sate my curiosity today,” he finishes, looking far too pleased with himself. Ayaka avoids your gaze when your eyes sweep past her (she absolutely knows it's an idiotic idea because going by that logic, she should have a colder temperature... but that is obviously not the case), and Thoma is blatantly ignoring your requests for assistance, whistling an awkward tune.

You have half a mind to shift the duty to another retainer similarly bearing a Pyro Vision, who is currently trying his hardest to stifle his pained grunts when you pinch his forearm admonishingly, but there's really no way out of this. Ayato would undoubtedly craft another bullshit reason to coax you anyway. (A part of you thinks it might be fun to keep up the charade just to hear what he'd say next.)

“Right.” You hold up your hand, and Ayato's eyes flicker with mischief. His slender fingers wrap around your wrist, brushing over the jut of your bone. He marvels at the size of it, dwarfed by his large hands, and he curls his fingers tighter.

...He doesn't seem to be assessing your temperature.

But you are mindful of his, a searing heat devouring your senses. His light touches settle heavily on your skin, a prominent warmth amidst the cold gale. Where his fingers rest leave imprints of fire, trails of scorched ash in his wake.

Experimentally, his thumb rubs circles on your palm, tracing over the lines. He rolls the soft flesh, staring at the small cuts and calluses with an attentive eye. Burning the image into his mind. Fiddling with the shape of your fingers. Then, following a brief hitch of his breath, he fits his own in the spaces between yours.

His hand is soft, you think to yourself. Without the presence of leather, it is fully bare, pale and dusted with pink. His knuckles are pronounced, palm surprisingly unscarred in spite of vigorous sword practice, but a writer's callus lay on his ring finger. It is easy to imagine his frame hunched over his desk, pen between his fingers, ink running dry from writing back to missives and signing endless contracts.

(And responding to engagement offers. You would know. They clutter his workspace, scented letters branded by wax seals of a distinguished family's emblem.

He barely throws a cursory glance at them before giving his never changing answer.)

When he gives your hand a squeeze, you finally ask, “Is it warm?”

“Yes.” He sounds somewhat strangled, there, less confident than he was before he took your hand. “Very warm.”

He reluctantly parts with it, stepping back to reduce your close proximity. Ayaka fans herself as she scrutinizes his reddening complexion, and Thoma—partial to the lord, you see, even though he wasn't very eager to lend you a hand before—makes some excuse about a meeting he has to attend to (some beetle fight with Itto, most likely) and if you'd kindly excuse their presence.

“...Please pardon my brother's strange behavior,” Ayaka murmurs when only the both of you remain in the room. “He could be quite straightforward when his curiosity is piqued. He doesn't have weird intentions, really.”

She doesn't appear to believe it herself, but you appreciate her attempts to clean up Ayato's mess.

“It's no trouble, milady.” You flash a placating smile for good measure, reaching down to collect the discarded gloves Thoma nearly tripped on in his way out. “But I'm afraid I'll have to take my leave now as well...”

“Yes, of course! You may go.”

Following her affirmation, you scramble to take a duster and retreat to clean the library.

Mercifully, she doesn't comment on your flushed cheeks and colored ears. (There's only so much composure you can exhaust within one day.)

For all that you (privately) complain about the extensive list of chores to tackle in the Kamisato Estate, you find tending to the garden fairly enjoyable. Alas, you can't exactly spend the whole day pruning the shrubbery; the smile on your face drops immediately when you're sent to go on a shopping trip. Worse still, with no one to assist you in carrying the groceries. Thoma had already promised to accompany Ayaka for a mission, and everyone else is busy preparing for the Kamisato head's upcoming business trip.

Said Kamisato head is apparently “free” and “has the spare time to help” despite being the one who should be busy holing himself up in his office.

Regardless of your protests, Ayato insisted on tagging along to the market. Which brings you to your current situation, your employer dutifully carrying bundles of cloth and a basket of radishes and carrots with an easygoing smile, while your hands remain empty. He is... considerate, if you were to speak in flowery words. He is stubborn, if you were to be blunt.

However, he is relatively obedient, save for the handful of times he rushes off to chase something that caught his eye. As a result, he keeps purchasing cheap trinkets he'll probably have no use for and his pocket is brimming of candy he sometimes stuffs your mouth with when you have something to scold him for. (To be fair, it's very effective for shutting you up.)

“Please don't interrupt me from speaking,” your words are partly muffled, mouth still chewing on the confection. Ayato smiles innocently, pressing another piece of sugar to your lips.

“Where are we headed next?” He questions, looking around the bustling streets as he tucks the jar of konpeito in his sleeve. “Do you still have vegetables you need to buy?”

You shake your head. “No, the cook said he's only missing radishes and carrots in particular. I've also gotten the materials needed to mend clothes Thoma asked for.”

He deflates at that, disappointment painting his expression. “I suppose we're returning, then?”

You purse your lips, considering your options. It wasn't like you were told to come back an appointed time, and you could always blame Ayato for your tardiness... “Does my lord wish to visit anywhere specifically?”

The river of stars in his eyes twinkle ever so slightly, flashing a thinly-veiled childish gleam. “Not anything I could think of at the top of my head. Do you have any recommendations in mind?”

“Recommendations?”

“Places you like to visit.”

During your free time, you usually look around to shop for clothing or accessories... but they're nowhere near the quality befitting of nobles. The yukata isn't tailored to your size, made from cheaper cloth of cotton, and aren't as decorative to what your lord is used to; it's what makes it affordable. Whereas Ayato is often dressed in luxurious silks, embellished with golden thread and customized to his liking.

“It's no harm to bring you there... I guess.” you scratch your cheek. “Though I can't guarantee you'll like it.”

“Nonsense.” He smiles amicably. He reaches for the basket before you can grab it, gesturing for you to start walking. “I'm sure I'll have a good time regardless where it is.”

And... he does. He marvels at the extravagant brocades displayed at boutiques, wondering how one could possibly wear so many heavy layers. Though he doesn't buy clothes for himself, he decides to buy a cute purse he thinks his sister would appreciate.

Ayato expresses interest in ornaments and cosmetics as well, to which the shop owner proceeds to happily introduce her entire catalogue for a man she knows has deep pockets. He doesn't disappoint.

“You don't want anything?” He asks when you only answer his questions pertaining to Ayaka's preferences, two steps behind, never taking the opportunity to roam and search for potential additions in your wardrobe.

It's not that you haven't seen anything you'd like to take home, per se. More like everything is too expensive for your pocket money in this high-end portion of town. “No,” you say instead, because it's easier to explain that way.

He tilts his head inquisitively, but doesn't push the topic. “Help me choose a hair pin then. You know what fits Ayaka best.”

He leads you to the display case housing rows of hair ornaments, each one more remarkable than the next. The last one, undoubtedly the most costly whose price would make you weep, teeters on the edge of gaudy. Adorned with silver butterflies, tear drop sapphires, gems delicately shaped like dewy petals and white pearls sitting atop carved gold, they almost blind your eyes.

“...She'd look beautiful in everything,” is the conclusion you come to, because you speak nothing but the truth. “But please don't buy everything. She will get mad at you.”

“I know,” he sighs. “That's why I needed your help picking one.”

You almost drill holes to the items with how hard you're staring at them, but you eventually point at the pin with pink blossoms. “This would contrast nicely with her hair.”

“Mhm. If you say so,” he hums approvingly, tracing the sculpted leaves.

“Then if that's all, I'll go pay...”

“Ah, which reminds me.” He spins on his heel to face you, lips shaped into an apologetic smile. “I'm nearly running out of parchment paper. Could you stop by the stationery store up front? I'll handle things from here and meet you by the entrance.”

“Of course, my lord.”

On your way outside, you resolutely do not allow your curious gaze to steer towards the tables of sparkling jewelry.

--

The trip back to the estate is uneventful, and the rest of the afternoon passes like any other.

Perhaps the only inconsistency in your repetitive days is the accidental nap you fall into, blanketed in warm rays of sunshine and caressed by the refreshing breeze slipping past ajar doors, your cheek resting on the surface of the table you were supposed to be cleaning. How uncouth of me, you think as you wipe your mouth to check for signs of drool. Your only respite is not having anyone witness you in such a state, otherwise you would've long been rudely awakened and received an earful of chastising.

...Is what you think, until you spot a foreign ring you definitely do not recall putting on.

It curls around your finger, dotted with crystals in a hue of blue you're all too familiar with. You see it everyday, gleaming in mischief, darkening with intrigue. Framed by long, long lashes, crinkling at the corners when filled with mirth. Crashing waves turned to frost at the slighest hint of displeasure, yet inexplicably gentle the moment it meets your eyes.

(You wonder if this is why he insisted on touching your hands so much, just to roughly measure your ring size.)

“I hope you fare well during my absence. Fear not, I will do my best not to prolong my leave.”

The way his words sound so self-assured and full of conviction doesn't sit well with you, and the genuine pity reflected in his irises almost makes your eyebrow twitch. You hadn't even spoken a word before he began his theatrics.

“Take as long as you need,” you reassure him. “My lord mustn't rush his work.”

He wilts, but he perks right back up, “No need to put up a front. I'll come back for you.”

Incorrigible.

“Then I await your safe return.” You bow deeply as you swallow back a sigh of defeat, the other servants lined up on either side of the street moving accordingly.

“Please be careful,” Ayaka bids when she walks in front of him. “I've heard of bandits intercepting carriages to steal... I don't mean to undermine your abilities, but you should still be vigilant of trouble.”

Ayato laughs at that. “You don't have to worry, Ayaka. They'll sooner surrender before they lay a single scratch on me.” Glancing at the luggage being loaded on his carriage, he grimaces. “I better get going. I'll see you all in three weeks.”

He climbs to the interior, giving you a final smile before closing the door. You stare at the carriage until it fully disappears, the trotting of horses out of earshot. When Thoma begins to walk back to the estate, you fall into step with him, matching his strides.

“The lord hasn't left for this long in a while,” he comments, to which you hum in agreement. “Think you'll miss him?”

“Three weeks is hardly a long time,” you retort back, complacent for the rare period of peace to follow the next month. “He'll return in no time, as if he'd never been gone in the first place.”

Thoma eyes you strangely at that, but says no more. “If you say so.”

--

The first day is bliss. No disruptions in your work, no unwanted conversation partner as a distraction, no midnight snacks needed to be prepared for the clan head a weird mix between workaholic and slacker.

The second day proves to be the same. No incessant chatter in your ear as you sweep the floor, no complaints for a stack of paperwork to be done within the day, no sudden requests of a shoulder massage for a job well done deserving of a reward.

The third day, you feel like your schedule is lacking, blank spots of free time sprinkled in between.

Ah, right. The tea breaks.

You tell yourself you only miss the fragrant tea, the selection of treats given to you by the young master's generosity. Not his thoughtful commentary for the taste, the chuckles spilling from his lips when you respond to his quips, the brief moments of eye contact before you resume your respective duties.

The fourth day, you're sent to hang the laundry. You tell yourself you don't miss a certain someone's abrupt appearance, poking a head through the sheets to startle you, huffing bright peals of laughter when he attains his desired reaction.

The fifth day, the cook requests your help to prep dinner. My lord doesn't like this dish, the sentence almost leaves your tongue as your eyes track down the recipe when you remember right, he's not here, and milady likes this dish, so it's one of the few chances she gets to eat it.

The sixth day, you clean his office. You organize the account books, restock his collection of pens and paper, and shuffle through his mail to sort them by category (definitely not noting down the number of letters asking for his hand in marriage). Your face flushes slightly when an unassuming bookmark falls out of a book you pick up from the floor, familiar flowers pressed thinly to fit between the pages. (You had only given those flowers on a whim, plucking fresh blossoms from plants you grew outside the Kamisato's garden. You didn't think he'd keep it around; they're not nearly as fancy as what his family owns.)

By the seventh day, you check the calendar and determine time is a social construct. There is no way it's only been seven days.

--

“How do I look?”

“Positively charming,” you say dryly.

“You're not looking.”

Your eyes flit to Thoma's attire. “I am.”

He shakes his head, taking off the robes he'd been trying on. “You're always daydreaming nowadays. What are you thinking about?”

Reminiscing the last time you visited this clothing store, which is when you brought the young master in your shopping trip. But he doesn't need to know that. “It's nothing. Are you buying it?”

“Since you kindly gave an approving opinion, sure.” His tone drips with sarcasm as he takes out his money pouch, paying for the clothes. “I think I don't need the answer from you, actually. I'm confident I have an accurate guess.”

Your eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean by that?”

“Who else would linger in your mind?” Thoma sighs in dramatic fashion, stepping out of the premises with you not far behind. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder, after all.”

Bristling, you vehemently refute, “I'm not thinking inappropriately of the lord, if that's what you're implying.”

“I didn't mention any names.”

“But you clearly meant him.”

He holds up his hands. “If that's what you want to believe, suit yourself.”

His gaze drops to the ring wrapped around your finger. The ring had been a topic of interest for the gossip mongers within the estate, wondering who you could've received it from; what other implications can wearing a ring have? Your cold exterior is no secret, your heart guarded with thorns, so who was able to sweep you off your feet in the end?

Thoma only needed one look at the shade of blue to make a correct guess.

“...I'm sure at this point, you know of his intentions,” Thoma says slowly. “And I have plenty of reasons to believe his affections aren't entirely unrequited.”

If they were, you would have brushed off Ayato already, just like you always do with the others. He may be persistent, but he knows how to back off. Yet the most you do is sigh and spoil him, albeit in (fond) exasperation.

“Even if they aren't...” you fidget with the hem of your shirt, averting your gaze from his blazing eyes, “...it doesn't mean we'll work. I'm certain he has better prospects for a spouse, anyway.”

“You mean those daughters from noble families?” He snorts. “He'd barely give them the time of day before running back to you. You should know that by now. Don't you remember when he faked being sick in that lunch meeting so you could take care of him?”

Of course you do. He had pretended to be in a dizzy spell, collapsing on your shoulder and making furtive hand signals asking for your help to get the lovesick maiden off his back. There really is no way to reject people like her without offending his business associate, so he tended to evade confrontations in roundabout ways.

You could excuse his clingy behavior out of necessity; it would be disgraceful to collapse on the floor, after all. The problem lies with the aftermath where you had already steered clear of the trouble but he insists on requiring treatment, body calculatively feeble as he gives you woeful pleas.

In another world, perhaps this would've been a heart-rending experience: a cold man who didn't share his burdens with others asking help from you specifically, because you were special and he trusted you the most.

In this world though, the act is only deserving of a derisive snort. He'd pulled off this plot for who knows how many times. How would holding your hand help with his throbbing headache anyway?

(You ignore the fact you indulge him each time regardless.)

“In any case, the lord is returning in a week. Not much time left for you to mope,” he laughs, even as you elbow his side.

A week.

(That is one week too long.)

--

When Ayato returns five days short of three weeks, you aren't there to greet him.

Instead, you are sick in bed, bundled in a pile of blankets, and suffering from a stuffy nose.

Ah, and delirious from fever. Very much so.

So when Ayato miraculously appears in your bedroom earlier than scheduled, you only sniffed in response and brushed him off as a hallucination.

But of course, your dismissive attitude isn't enough to discourage him from pestering you and running his mouth. He hovers by your bedside, noting with glee that you keep his ring on a nightstand closeby. “This is rare. I don't think I've ever seen you ill.”

But you've seen him plenty, frail and weak after days straight of sleepless nights. He doesn't look too pretty in such a mood, quick-tempered and sharp-tongued at the slightest annoyance. He only ever softens when your expression flits to dismay for a fraction of a second before offering him prescribed medicine from the family's physician.

“How are you this annoying even in my dreams...”

As it turns out, you're even more of a worse case than he is.

“Mhm. Your filter is completely shut down when you're sick, huh.” Ayato laughs, amused at the surprising revelation. He doesn't get to be the receiving end of your blunt words very often. “Alright. How bad do you feel right now?”

“Terrible, since it's the ass crack of dawn.”

It is not the ass crack of dawn, but you wouldn't know any better with the curtains drawn. “Do you have an appetite? I'll have a servant bring a meal.” Then, he slyly adds, “I can feed you, if you want me to.”

He doesn't know which part of that statement appeals to you the most but you sit up straight, attentive.

Interesting.

Though Ayato had meant it in jest, he has no complaints scooping spoonfuls of porridge to bring to your lips. He patiently coaxes you into drinking the bitter medicine after, quickly soothing you with bite-sized cut fruit to wash away the acrid taste.

“Good job,” he compliments, chuckling when you glow at the praise. Your lips are shiny with juice, trickling from the corner of your mouth.

Absent-mindedly, his hand lifts to caress your cheek, the pad of his thumb wiping it away. You jolt, a startled sound escaping you, and you hasten to clamp a hand over his mouth.

He blinks at you owlishly, dumbfounded.

“Don't,” you speak, your face decorated with a lovely pink. “You'll... you'll get sick.”

Ayato takes an embarrassing amount of time to process what that means. However, when he does, you can feel him grin beneath your fingers. He takes your hand, his huff of laughter tickling your palm.

“I thought we were in a dream? You don't get sick from kisses in dreams,” he teases, pressing a light kiss to your wrist. Your heart stutters in bewilderment but you make no move to pull away, only twitching when he kisses your fingertips.

“It's better to be careful...” your brows knit together, and he kisses the crease away too.

“Okay. Let's do it next time then, when you're truly awake.” He gently pushes you to your back, fluffing up the pillows for your comfort and tucking you in the blankets. Then, indulgently, he presses a final kiss to the crown of your head. “Rest well so I can get that kiss sooner, hm?”

“That's a stupid reason to recover...” you murmur defiantly, stubbornly blinking your drooping eyes open.

In the end, you fall asleep to the sound of his laughter, the fingers combing through your hair, and the rhythmic beat in his chest.

--

When you wake up, you admonish yourself for having such a shameless subconscious, but you acknowledge that you had a good dream.

Then your eyes land on a pair of discarded gloves on your nightstand, one that you remember Ayato putting away before he began to spoonfeed you your meal.

...Fuck.

“With all due respect, I don't believe being your headrest is part of my duty, my lord.”

A thoughtful hum answers you, preceded by a curious glance at your expression. Your legs are folded underneath you, back straight and eyes overlooking the garden instead of the weight resting on your lap. You can feel him shift, turning over where he faces against the porch, his robes wrinkling where it lay below.

“Are you suddenly becoming shy because a maidservant passed by?” He places down the novel in his hands on the wooden floorboards, watching your face burn in embarrassment. “I doubt this is the first time she's seen us, though.”

“My apologies. I'm not as thick-skinned as you are.”

“I'd prefer the term 'proud,'” he pokes the sash around your waist, smiling cheekily. “Who wouldn't want to show off their lover?”

He feels you stiffen, sees the flush of pink crawling outwards to the tips of your ears. “It's inappropriate. We're in a public setting.”

“That's only because you refuse to enter my chambers,” Ayato sighs and you look positively mortified. “I wouldn't ravage you, if that's what you're worried about?”

“My lord, please be reasonable. Whether you do or not, I will still be seen as your bed warmer. Did milady not advise us to be discreet? Inazuma would be in an uproar if they learned you were... you were...” you purse your lips, unable to spit the last word.

“Wedded.”

“I'm afraid we haven't gone that far, my lord,” you deadpan.

“So will you consider it?”

“My lord.”

“What?”

You give him a look, and he sighs in acquiescence. But he turns to face the opposite direction, expression hidden fron view. You can practically hear the pout in his voice, “I see. [Name] only sees me as a fling. My heart breaks to know this bliss is short-lived, but I will cherish our remaining time together.”

He's begun his theatrics again, you think tiredly, accustomed to his stunts. “In any case, we must be careful. We never know who has loose lips around here...”

He's still not facing you, resolutely looking away.

...Is he sulking for real? Was that a genuine marriage proposal?

“My lord?” You call out softly, in a lover's tender voice. He doesn't respond. Quieter, you whisper to his ear, “Ayato?” yet that doesn't earn a reaction either.

You start to panic, wondering if you were acting too indifferently. The change in your relationship had been a recent one, and you're still settling in a period of adjustment; even if you wanted to properly flirt with him like normal lovers do, bickering came more naturally to you.

You reach for his shoulder, hoping to turn him over and see his face. But then he catches your wrist, and you only have a second to catch a glimpse of his triumphant smirk before he captures your lips in a chaste kiss.

“Mhm, I see. So you're more considerate towards me when we're dating,” he cheerfully notes, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear as if he can't see the way your shocked gaze morphs into a cold glare. “I truly am privileged.”

“Incorrigible.” The word drips with poison, but he laughs and kisses you again, thumbing at the ring around your finger.

“Too bad you're stuck with me forever, huh?”

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐨 (𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞)

❝ s/o dying in characters arms

character: Childe and Xiao ❞

;  🍫🐶 strikes again, angst for all- I hope this is okay, I haven’t written pure angst in awhile! :D

; 3/27/22

; Angst/Hurt no Comfort

; CW: death (you), blood/injury (nothing too specific), mourning/grief

     𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗲 ‘𝗧𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗮’

✧ This isn’t actually happening, right? You’re strong, you can handle yourself, and there’s never been a time where he’s not by your side! Well…okay, there was one time…maybe more than one..oh no…No, even still, you can handle yourself, and he was only gone for a week! Just another mission given by the Tsaritsa, haha you’re definitely fine, this is just a prank. Why…aren’t you laughing? Shouldn’t you have gotten up by now, with that classic smile and grin as you declared victory at his stunned face? Come on, get up. (Y/n)? Come on…get up…GET UP!

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light shines down on this home still

synopsis: ayato’s birthday comes around again this year but he is always thinking about you. the things you said, what he learned, how you left and when you will be back. (aka. childhood friends + life lessons and the two of you walking two different paths that meet again)

warnings: angst > fluff (kinda), you join the fatui word count: 1k

ayato always remembers the night that you left as the one that changed his life.

in some ways, he wished to remain just a simple child so that no ends would come for him. everything was so much more vivid when he was smaller. the grass he ran on, the trees he climbed, the flowers he would hold in his hands. nature seemed more generous then and he was able to enjoy that generosity in every cloud and sunset, in every sakura petal. there was innocence in existing back then and he treasured it.

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hiiii!!! may i request fragrant mashed potatoes + sweet madame + mint jelly and pop’s teas + dango milk + ketchup <3 maybe like back when he was still kunikuzushi, he had a lover, and before joining the fatui he promised to return to them? tyy!!

‿୨♡୧‿︵ BON APETIT MY FELLOW CUSTOMER ! ︵‿୨♡୧‿

name of order: we’ll meet again

date: scaramouche (w/ gn!reader)

receipt: fragrant mashed potatoes (scaramouche) + sweet madame (reunion) + mint jelly and pop’s teas (fluff with comfort) + dango milk (normal/normal au) + ketchup (hc scenario/bulleted form)

spices: spoilers to inazuma archon quest, spoilers to scaramouche’s real name, fluff/comfort, mentions of fighting, reader can shapeshift into a fox like yae, and this fic takes place during the 2.2 event (except scaramouche doesnt show up in the actual event)

ingredients: he promised that he’ll come back to you as soon when he grows powerful enough. he just didn’t think he’ll meet you this way.

chef’s note: wahh this is such a cute idea !! tysm anon for requesting, i hope this is to your liking <<3

there was once a time when scaramouche went by another name.

kunikuzushi was a name that’s nothing but a reminder of a harbinger’s past. a reminder of a mere prototype puppet who was kicked out by the raiden shogun herself, a “wandering eccentric“ who goes by no name until an act of revenge against a certain blacksmith,

and a lover of a certain inazuman who resides in tatarasuna, working under the guuji of the grand narukami shrine.

scaramouche could only wonder aimlessly if you were still waiting for him after so many years. are you still working for the grand narukami shrine? are you still as kind as he used to know you before when he first met you? do you even remember him if you ever see him?

the harbinger could only cover his face with his hat in shame. shamed that he never got the chance to come back again after so many years even when he vowed to return just for you.

the vow still stands in his empty chest that holds no heart, but would you say the same?

“fear not, dear kunikuzushi.” you said reassuringly, patting the man’s head with a smile. “no matter how time has long passed, i will always be here in inazuma waiting for you.”

you then gave him a large hat, something that he swears to himself to cherish. “take this as my farewell gift. if you ever miss me as much as i will be to you in the near future, you could always wear this hat and remember me.”

will you ever know how he rarely removes the very hat that you gave him?

you hoped he did.

you hoped, just like how a loved one does when a soldier goes to a war, that your dearest kunikuzushi is alright. you hoped, just like how a lover does when they think about their spouse, that he is happy as he could ever be even if you’re not the reason. you hoped, just like how a lover does when they’re away from their spouse, that he still thinks about you just as much as you do with him.

you just keep hoping and hoping as years go by, often visiting the place where you bid him farewell whenever you have the chance, only to sigh in dismay when you couldn’t see kunikuzushi anywhere.

“i suspect that i might find you here,” yae miko spoke up, walking towards you with a small smile on her face. “i was looking for you around the shrine for a task. is something on your mind?”

you slowly look away from the view of your old home that’s now ruined by the harsh thunderstorms in the past, looking at the guuji with a reassuring smile. “i’m just checking up on my old home as the usual, i apologize for not coming back sooner and worry you.” you replied.

“no need for the apologies. it’s not like this is your first time getting away and get distracted.” the woman reassures you with a chuckle.

there was no single soul who’s aware of your relationship with the lone puppet that the raiden shogun discarded except yae miko. although the woman isn’t quite fond of how you’re often distracted unlike before, she couldn’t blame you.

it’s just a shame that the fatui found him, the woman knows fully well that he won’t be able to come back to inazuma anytime soon but didn’t see the point in telling you, not wanting to destroy that hopeful look plastered on your face that she had grown used to see everyday.

“may i ask what task would you like me to fulfill, lady yae?” you ask.

“i’m afraid it’s not like any other tasks i’ve given you,” she warns, crossing her arms with an apologetic smile. “i need you to keep an eye on a certain harbinger that’s been lurking around the land. he’s a tall ginger-haired man with a hydro vision.”

you felt yourself stiffen at the mention of harbinger. “…does this harbinger have something to do with… kuni?” you ask hesitantly.

the woman shrugs in response. “unfortunatley i’m not exactly sure of the purpose of the harbinger’s visit to inazuma, but i suspect it has something to do with kunikuzushi and the electro gnosis – which is why i need you to keep an eye on him for now and see if he’s going to cause trouble.”

your heart leaped at the guuji mentioning your lover’s name. does this mean he hasn’t left the nation?

”i.. i’ll see what i can do, lady yae.“ you spoke, bowing your head to the woman before rushing down from the mountain, leaving yae miko alone with herself.

“..i could only hope to ei that you’ll manage to encounter kunikuzushi, y/n.” the woman mumbled, sighing before walking away towards her shrine.

—

it took you an hour to finally find the harbinger that yae described.

sure, it was a hassle, but after exploring and asking certain adventurers exploring, you manage to find the harbinger that’s been lurking around narukami island.

you stood behind one of the sakura trees disguised as a fox, watching the eleventh harbinger walking out from the place where the traveler and his friends ran in, causing your eyebrows to furrow. why did he come out from it alone? did he lay harm on the traveler?

“where could he be?” childe mumbles with a sigh, scratching the back of his neck as he walks around the area. “he better owe me a thrilling battle by the time i catch that man.”

could he be talking about kunikuzushi, you wonder?

you slowly sneak around the harbinger, curious with the harbinger’s words. surely if the ginger is looking for your lover, then that means he could still be here and hasn’t left the island with the gnosis, right?

you stopped pacing when you realized something.

if… kuni is actually here, then why didn’t he come visit you?

you could feel your blood running cold from that thought alone, mouth slightly open in shocked. surely kuni would actually come to you when he had the chance..? but then again, he didn’t even show himself when he came here for the raiden shogun’s gnosis.

“oh? i haven’t seen a fox like you in the wilderness before..” childe spoke up, looking down at you with a curious look on his face. “you must be a rare breed. you don’t look like those foxes from that village nearby.”

you paid no mind to how the harbinger now stands in front of you, frozen from the thoughts that suddenly made your heart dropped in dread. if kunikuzushi is in inazuma right now, where could he be? why didn’t he come visit you like he promised? did he.. forget about you?

“unless…” childe then smiles menacingly. “you could be one of those beings that can shapeshift.”

the harbinger’s words were enough for you to finally cut yourself off from your thoughts, immediately stepping away from the man as he summons his blades. you should’ve paid more attention to your mission! yae would’ve been disappointed if she finds out that you got carried away by your dumb thoughts!

before things could escalate even more, the harbinger suddenly drops his weapons.

you watched in confusion at the sight of childe letting out a gasp, clenching his teeth at the sudden overwhelming pain inside his body.

“don’t you dare lay a hand on them.”

your breath hitched at the sound of his voice.

…kunikuzushi?

you immediately felt alarmed from the purple smoke surrounding both you and childe — who’s now on his knees to the cold ground trying to breathe. “is this… is this one of your stupid— stupid traps, balladeer?” he asks, clutching his chest.

without hesitation, you turn around and see your lover in all his glory, standing a few steps away from you as he glares at the fallen harbinger.

“and here i thought i was better off with leaving you alone and fool you about my whereabouts,” he spoke to childe, clenching his fists. “but you just had to try and fight my lover.”

“and here i thought… i thought the ferocious balladeer wouldn’t have someone to call a lover.” the eleventh harbinger retorts with a smirk, only to gasp out for air when scaramouche suddenly makes the air around him more venomous.

“come, y/n,” he calls out to you in a soft tone- something that took you by surprise because of his sudden change of tone. “let’s get out of here before that rascal gets his hands on us.”

he didn’t have to ask twice.

—

“are you out of your mind? why the hell did you go to that harbinger of all people?! he could’ve killed you if it weren’t for me intervening!” he scolds you as the both of you stay in a camp that’s far away from where childe was, both of you were panting in exhaustion from running away.

“i apologize.. but please believe me when i say i didn’t mean to have my cover get revealed.” you said, not bothering to change your fox form. “i just.. got distracted by my thoughts.”

he furrows his eyebrows. “and what could possibly got you distracted?!”

“..i.. i was wondering why you didn’t visit me when you came here for.. the gnosis.” you hesitantly explained, looking away from your lover’s strong gaze in shame. “i just.. i just felt confused a-and maybe hurt that you probably didn’t want to see me after so many years.”

the both of you fell silent.

scaramouche stares deeply at your fox form, feeling conflicted.

“…change back to your normal form.” he commands, causing you to frown in confusion. what is he planning to do, exactly?

nevertheless, you followed your lover’s command and instantly changed back into your human form once more, still looking down at the ground with a frown plastered on your face.

your eyes widens when you felt arms wrapped around your body into a hug.

“you idiot,” he whispered. “you have no idea how much i’ve wanted to do this ever since i saw you in the place where i left.”

your breath hitches from his words. he… he saw you? he’s been visiting the place as well?

you quickly hug your lover back as well, lips quivering. “why didn’t you come to me if you saw me then? did you.. did you not want to see me ye—”

“god no,” scaramouche interrupts, clinging onto you tighter than before. “don’t you dare think that i’d hate to see you or forgot about you! i just didn’t know if you wanted to see me…”

you let out a laugh, realizing that the both of you were thinking the same thing. “of course i wanted to see you for so long dummy..”

the both of you stayed in the position for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth for as long as you’ve desired after so many years of being separated.

“i miss you.” you both said to each other at the same time out loud.

no bc- i just read “snowball” and cuddly childe + winter/cold + his family has found its way into my hard and now i’m in need of comfort scenarios now that it’s so cold pls 😭 if you want ofc! this is just a suggestion as a very touch starved reader and fan of ur work :,)!!

home for the holidays

✧ synopsis: [fluff] headcanons and drabbles; childe brings you to his home for the holiday season :) ✧ ft. childe x gn!reader (+some of childe’s family!) ✧ warnings: slightly suggestive towards the end but nothing serious, mentions of food, spoilers for childe’s real name ✧ a/n: not super wintery, but i'm in the mood for family bonding and cuddles; i hope this is alright!! (sorry it took me forever to get to this btw lmao)

»»————-　 ✦ 　————-««

✧ okay, so, harbingers don’t really get time off- including for the holidays, buuuut- childe was finally given a chance to oversee some recruits in snezhnaya, and it just so happens to line up with the holiday season, aaaand… well, he can handle some work and still get to see his family, right? right, of course, he is tartaglia after all, there’s nothing he can’t do!! ✧ plus… he’s managed to convince you to come along with him. so, it’s like he’s killing three birds with one stone! hell yeah!

✧ as eager as he is, childe can’t help but feel oddly anxious about bringing you to meet his family for the first time (despite the fact that he has been begging you to come to snezhnaya with him ever since you two have gotten together. and probably way before that, too. he’s just been very excited to share the part of himself that isn’t completely tainted by the abyss and fatui with you) ✧ he’s aware that they’re going to love you, of course-why wouldn’t they?- but what if you don’t like them? what if his siblings annoy you (or worse, embarrass him) or his parents say something offputting? he adores you, but he doesn’t know if he could handle you and his family not getting on. ✧ though, if he’s nervous, you’re an emotional wreck, whether you show it or not. childe’s told you about his family before, and the fond smile and sparkle in his eyes when he thinks of them has always made your heart flutter- they sound so sweet. you’re excited, but perhaps a bit too eager to please. you’ve spent a lot of your time recently trying to find clothing and supplies that will both protect you from snezhnaya’s freezing temperature while also giving the impression of “really-good-partner-for-your-son-please-accept-me.” oh archons, you really hope that they approve of you. ✧ both of your worries are quickly swept away when you reach his family home-more of a manor if we’re being honest, the lad is rich and he keeps his mf family taken CARE of and one of childe’s sister’s opens the door before squealing happily and calling out for the rest of the family. ✧ childe’s mother absolutely gives you the biggest, warmest hug in the entire world- definitely hugs you first before hugging her son. she might also cry; it’s been a while since she’s gotten to see him in person, and look! he’s so grown up now! he even has a lovely partner!! :’((!!! she has chosen pointedly to not count being a harbinger as maturing. ✧ it’s honestly quite lively for the first few hours of your visit; the younger ones are bouncing around you in their excitement, the older siblings are discussing new happenings with childe (and teasing him about you, of course), childe’s mother is rushing around trying to clean their already very nice house, and childe’s father is… absent. he did not come down to greet you or his son. ✧ if you start to feel overwhelmed, childe is quick to notice, and will usher you to a different room away from everyone else for a bit to make sure you’re okay.

Childe tells his family he’s going to give you a “tour of the house”, taking you by the hand and leading you down the hall before anyone can say anything. He takes you to what must be a study, walls lined with bookshelves (save for the space where a stuffed bear head is mounted on the wall) and a desk in front of the window. Outside, the snow is blowing across the frosted ground in swirling clouds, a frozen howl echoing against the glass.

“You alright?” He asks, pushing to close the door behind him. You nod, working on maintaining control of your breathing. Childe’s hand reaches to brush just in between your shoulders, tentative at first, but as you lean into his touch, he snakes his entire arm across your back and pulls you into his side. He lets you recline against him, allowing you to take however much time you need to calm down. Ever so faintly, you can hear the relaxing rhythm of his pulse mixing with the winds outside.

Once you’ve been grounded and are feeling a bit better, you move from his arms to sit atop of the desk. There’s not much you need to brush aside, though you do spot an interesting paper reading, “Gifts for the kids”. You try to spot Childe’s name, curious about what his family would get him, but a clear of his throat summons your attention before you can.

“So…” He starts, taking a step toward you. His eyes wander away from you, and there’s an air of feigned nonchalance that you’ve come to know all too well.

“Sooo?” You mimic.

“Are they… My family, I mean, do you…?”

He’s cute when he’s stumbling over his words, you think. It’s rather rare for your boyfriend’s smarmy, talkative ass to be at a loss of what to say. You know Childe really values your opinion, but is worried about it at the same time.

“Your family is wonderful, ‘jax.” You smile reassuringly, and his eyes light up. “They’re a bit excitable and energetic, but… I like it. They remind me of you.”

Now you’ve done it; Childe immediately descends upon you to steal a kiss, causing you to laugh a bit at how abrupt he is. His kisses are excitable and energetic, just like his family, just like him.

You two are, however, interrupted by a chorus of “Ooo”s, “Eww”s and “Aww”s. You both part early, glancing over at the door to see his little siblings' pairs of eyes peeking through the doorway, watching your antics in amusement. Childe narrows his eyes at them while your composure flusters, before he puts his lips back on yours. The children shriek with giggles as they scurry off, chanting some Snezhnayan version of “kissing in a tree.”

✧ when the two of you return from your, ahem, departure, you notice a tall, tired looking man in the living room. childe’s mom is discussing something with him in hushed, adamant tones, falling silent when she spots you. the once vibrant atmosphere in the room seems to have vanished. childe’s hand stiffens against yours, but his gaze remains steady. the other man does not speak, merely allowing his eyes to wander from Childe, to you, and then back to Childe. He gives a small nod, before turning to kiss childe’s mother on the forehead and leaving through the front door. ah. that must have been childe’s father. ✧ you want to say something, ask about what the hell that was, but his mother prevents you from speaking with a cheerful announcement that dinner will be served soon. she’s already making her way to the kitchen as she calls childe to come and help set up, leaving you in the now all-too-cold living room by yourself. ✧ big families mean big meals, but your added presence apparently means childe’s mom is going to pull out all the stops. i need you to imagine a 7-course meal with all 7 courses served at once. an entire damn restaurant spread out on the dining table. roasted ham, pirozhki, salmon pie, olivier salad- you couldn’t even name some of the dishes. it kind of amazes you that she not only managed to cook all this, but was able to fit it all in one space. ✧ also. yes you can make your own plate but don’t even try to be coy or modest. you’re a part of this family now and they’re gonna make sure you eat like one.

“Here, sweetie, have some more ham.” Childe’s mother is already slicing pieces off and dropping it on your plate before you can respond.

Your plate is already piled as high as it can go. But, you are nothing if not polite and desperate to get on your boyfriend’s family’s good side. “Oh, uh, thank you, Mrs.-”

“Just call me ‘mom’, dear.” She speaks with a giggle. You nod.

“Oo! You should try the cabbage rolls, me and Anthon worked on those!” Teucer chimes toward you.

“Anthon and I,” Tonia corrects her little brother gently.

“Huh? No, you didn’t- you weren’t even there!”

The warmth had returned with the chattering and merriment of Childe’s family. You steal a quick glance at your boyfriend, who is being abnormally quiet, and see him smiling down at his plate. His blue eyes have an almost melancholic wistfulness about them, one you’ve often noticed when the two of you were in Liyue- always apparent when he’s talking about how much he misses his family. But, he’s here with them now, isn’t he?

You won’t pretend to know what he’s thinking about, but you do want him to enjoy these moments while they’re here. They mean a lot to him. You reach beneath the table to lace your fingers with his. He snaps out of his reverie at your touch, turning his head to look at you. His smile widens as he squeezes your hand.

“Oh, by the way, Ajax, where are you gonna be sleeping?” Childe’s older brother asks, covering his mouthful of food to avoid spitting.

Childe tilts his head. “Uh, the guest room?” Beneath his breath, you can hear him add, almost solemnly, “As usual.”

“But that’s where Y/N is going to sleep.” His older sister comments.

“Yeah?” Childe picks up a spoonful of borscht and guides it to his mouth. “The beds big enough to fit both of us.”

His mother looks absolutely aghast. “Ajax, you know how I feel about funny business under my roof!”

He sputters on his soup, quickly grabbing a napkin to dab the beetroot that spilled out and waving his hand. “Mom-”

“Oh, but, what the hell. It is the holidays!” She chuckles, before switching to a stern mutter, “but you two better keep it down, okay? Teucer’s room is right across-”

“MOM.” Your boyfriend’s face is a deep red, his freckles standing out against his tinted skin, and you can’t help but giggle. He buries his face in his free hand with a groan.

“Wait, so Ajax gets to sleep with his partner, but when I bring my girlfriend over, she has to sleep alone?” His older sister scoffs with disappointment. “It’s not like WE were gonna do any ‘funny business’ and yet-”

“Wait, what’s ‘funny business’?” Teucer asks innocently. The table is filled with roaring laughter-and Teucer’s confused pout- and you lean into your boyfriend’s shoulder. You can practically feel the heat radiate off of his cheeks, but he’s grinning, too.

You’re only about halfway through your monster of a meal when Tonia stands up, clapping her hands cheerfully. “I think it’s time for dessert!” She calls, skipping off to the kitchen.

“Oh goodness, she’s so proud of her kutia.” Mom remarks fondly. “ We don’t normally eat it until a few days from now, but Tonia was really excited to make it for you, Y/N. Please, be a dear and compliment her on it when she comes back, won’t you?”

You shoot Childe a look of surprise and horror, whispering, “There’s more?” And he just chuckles. You should’ve expected this. As with anything to do with Childe, there’s always more.

✧ with his mother’s blessing, you two finally get some real alone time in the guest room. though, for a guest room, it’s huge- probably bigger than your own room at home. it does feel… emptier, though, especially in comparison to the rest of the house. there are no decorations, just a large bed, a nightstand with a lamp, and a dresser. you and childe’s suitcases are tucked neatly under the bed. ✧ already in your pyjamas, you hop on top of the mattress and shimmy beneath the blankets. the soft bedding sinks until you are comfortably encased in your cotton cocoon. if your boyfriend doesn’t hurry up, you might just fall asleep without him. ✧ thankfully, he comes into the room pretty soon after you, dressed in a large shirt and his boxers. he’s more modestly dressed for bed than usual, but you’re not too surprised- this isn’t exactly a private home, after all. ✧ he flops on top of the blankets across your legs, sighing loudly and melodramatically. you stretch down to ruffle his hair lovingly.

He twists his head toward you, catching your palm and planting a kiss on it. You smile before beckoning him to join your side. As soon as he’s spread the blanket haphazardly over himself, he’s weaving his arms across your waist and smushing his cheek against your shoulder.

“Was today okay?” Childe asks softly. He always seems to get unbelievably soft when he’s sleepy. You wonder if he’s aware of it.

You lift your hand to brush the side of his face. “Today was amazing, babe. Your family is really fun, and they’ve made me feel so, so welcome.” You kiss his forehead and he hums, almost relieved. “Thank you, for bringing me.”

Thank you for coming, he wants to say. Thank you for trusting me, thank you for staying with me, thank you for loving me. The words won’t come out, so he instead tightens his arms against your core.

“Ajax, are you okay?” You swivel so that you can wrap one of your arms around his neck, his head falling into the side of your chest.

There’s a pause as he considers it. Is he okay? He doesn’t get asked that a lot- and when he is asked, he always lies. He doesn’t want to lie to you any more than he has to. But what can he say? He’s home, but it doesn’t feel like the home he knew. His family has grown, and he has, too. They’ve changed, he’s changed… He misses everything he had, and there’s no way to go back.

You gently tap his shoulder, bringing him back to you. You, another change in the life he once recognized. He raises his head to look into your eyes, patient and yet worried- for him.

Childe smiles. “I’m okay, sweetheart.” He has you now, after all. He can’t go back to the way things once were. Maybe he doesn’t need to go back, if going back meant not having you at his side. Maybe one day, he’ll find the words to tell you this.

You lean in to kiss his forehead again, but he straightens up to meet your lips with his. It’s a bit clumsy, you’re both sleepy and warm and together, but you melt into each other.

Childe separates from you after a moment, and in your tired, loving haze you miss the sudden devious glint in his stare.

“You know what would make me feel even better than okay, though?”

“Hmm?”

His hands begin to roam under your shirt. “Well, you remember that ‘funny business’ my mom mentioned earlier-?”

You groan, pushing away from him and picking your pillow up to shove into his face, a bark of your boyfriend’s cackle following. He continues giggling as you turn away from him with a huff, making a point to lay down.

“Good night, you big dork.”

His laughter dies down as he slides further beneath the covers to join you, rewrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer. He kisses the back of your neck with a contented sigh.

As long as he’s next to you, Childe is already way better than okay, he’s certain of it.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“they” (1 word) is shorter than “he or she” (3 words)

“they” is more inclusive than “he/she”

“themself” flows more naturally than “him or herself”

“they” is less clunky than “(s)he”

it’s time to replace the awkward “she or he”

Its always fem reader isnt it 😔

I can't find any good Scara x male/gn reader

💀

So I heard there was this holiday for smoochin?

Short but sweet monster school romance between Lilith, and her adorable girlfriend Willow.  Originally part of my 2015 minizines, now for you!

First time?

um .

✦ synopsis; hugging their s/o from behind

✦ pairing(s); heizou x gn!reader, kamisato ayato x gn!reader, childe x gn!reader

✦ tags/genre; fluff hcs

✦ wc; 382

✦ notes; originally just for heizou but i ended up writing for multiple- and thank you to @reddriot for the help w childe~☆

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

Heizou loves hugging you from behind. It's something that occurs on a daily basis, whenever he feels like it. It's an impulse that he doesn't control, not that he would want to anyways.

It's warm. His hugs are warm and full of energy; sometimes, he'll jump on you and sometimes, he'll slip his hands right through your arms. He loves burying his face in your back or shoulder, and his legs will be wrapped around you too.

Sometimes, he'll sneak in a quick peck here and there, and if you try to move away from the hug before he wants to let go, he'll hold on harder. "Hng, don't go yet ヽ（≧□≦）ノ"

KAMISATO AYATO

Whenever he wakes up, he'll hug you from behind- even if the sun just rose or the sun is about to set. It's one of his greetings to you, and if he's the first one up, he'll greet you as soon as you wake up.

Ayato's hugs are warm and playful, he loves to bury his head in your neck. He'll pepper you cheek with kisses, saying, "Good morning, love." There's always a tease here and there, and when he gets up to continue his work in his office, you always end up missing him a little, even though he's just a few doors away in the same house.

Ayato will usually never show much affection in public, but if anyone hits on you... he'll be sure to appear behind you and place his arm around your waist and warn them appropriately.

CHILDE

Childe isn't around much, but it's his surprise greeting whenever the two of you meet. He'll surprise you with his hug every time, and every time he manages to surprise you, even if you know it's coming.

Childe's back hugs are more on the quick side; he wants to see your face, especially with how much he missed you. He'll quickly switch over to a front hug, just because he likes that better just a little.

If you're being hit on, and he's there to see it, he's behind you in an instant. He'll put both hands around your waist and place a quick kiss on your cheek, and there's no question as to why that the flirter's expression suddenly changed to fear.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : lili’s notes…

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

➽ please rb if you liked this! it would make me so happy <3

➽ masterlist

➽ taglist: @paradise-creator @fuhuashandholder @kazuqha

➽ please send an ask to join the taglist!

I got him in 2 days, i literally burned more than 20 of my serum for him. Well yk anything for his ass <3

Thanks to Huda Niki’s YouTube video, I was able to do accomplish the impossible. I was able to awaken Lee’s Grand Blue skin.

Lee’s Summer skin requires 10k of those Morning Cup things. I was so alarmed by this news, my PGR playtime went through the roof. Life drew my attention away from the game for months, but in just three days, I played the game like a madman, wondering if I’d ever be able to get a new skin for Lee. Trying to earn as many Cups as possible. Because in the name of Babylonia, he deserved a new skin. And I can’t spend any money on him.

But then, just when I felt all hope was lost, i found Huda’s video. They instruct you to Auto Clear Resource stages, with multiple or maximum attempts, to quickly earn a lot of Cups. And like a charm, it worked for me. I earned Lee’s skin in two days. No lie. I started off with about 350 of those Cup things, too. But here’s the thing.

Auto Clearing stages, with multiple or maximum attempts, quickly burns through Serum.

I repeat: Auto Clearing stages, with multiple or maximum attempts, quickly burns through Serum.

If you’re trying to earn Cups for Lee’s new skin, and want to speed things up, please please PLEASE consider your Serum supply and comfort level before using the strategy in Huda’s video. I burned through almost my entire Serum supply in two days. And I play for just a few hours a day. If you play more than I do, you’ll definitely burn through it a lot quicker using this strategy.

If you would rather NOT burn through your Serum, I recommend completing single stages that require high amounts of Serum. High amounts of Serum means higher amounts of Cups.

I had plenty of Serum, though, and was comfortable burning through it. Here’s the video I found, but whatever you choose to do, I wish you all the best.

MORE ANGST, MORE SUFFERING

WTF IS WRONG WITH KURO?! I LEGIT FUCKING CRY WHEN WATCHING THIS SHIT. WTF LIV SACRIFICED SO MUCH JUST FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE'S HAPPINESSHFJSJSHDHOSJWNF

ALSO THAT PART WHEN LUCIA RUSHED TO SAVE HER? AND THEN SKK CAME TO HELP HER? AND THEN WIPED A TEAR OFF OF LIV'S FACE?! FUCKING GOT ME IN THE HEART

PGR shitpost again

Why is he ginger 😧

I found this blessing picture of lee and I just felt the need to share it. UGH the amount of detail in this... HEART FUCKING EYES MY GUY

I finally found someone who write for pgr :D and this is so good sgsjshwhwhw

Hi. :) Your writing is divine and I would be honored if you fulfilled even one of my requests. Please bestow upon me an emotionally broken, male PGR MC being comforted by Kamui and/or Lee after a long, hard day. Also Kamui and/or Lee going to male Skk needing comfort after anti-Construct discrimination. Or male Skk worrying about his gender while being in love with Kamui, Lee or Chrome.

Courtney! Thank you for the ask! (And for your kind words ❤️)

So, this is actually part 1 of your ask, because I have so many ideas and no time to write them all haha. It's Lee being confronted with anti-Construct discrimination and having an emotionally charged exchange with the Commandant after. I know you requested a male SKK, but I couldn't find a way to bring it up organically so the SKK is written as gender-neutral (I hope that's okay 😣). I wanted the focus of this piece to be a dance between Lee and SKK, a tension that goes unresolved and the comfort that can be found in that liminal space. It ended up being quite long (2.1k), which is why it took a while for me to finish.

Part 2 will feature an emotionally fragile male SKK getting anxious about their gender and feelings towards Kamui when getting comforted physically. I'm not sure when it'll be out since I write best when inspiration strikes, but I hope you'll bear with me until it does!

Okay, enough blabbering that nobody cares about. Go Lee!

Liminal Space   //     LEE

All done. Lee stood and stretched. The workshop was empty at this hour, nobody to keep him company but white lights and crystalline silence. He liked it. There was a certain sense of clarity in this kind of solitude, like the universe was revealing her tender secrets just for him. The night breathed while the world slept, and Lee loved the quiet of his own thoughts.

He’d just finished developing an inver-device for his robots. The complexity of such technology had been beyond his understanding for a long time, but he’d studied it and he’d figured it out. There was pride to take in such human things, he thought. The simplicity of learning.

He put the little bot in his pocket and made his way down the brightly lit corridors. Even at this hour, Babylonia dreamt in working colours. Offices blazed with golden light. Labs leaked blues and greens as Constructs underwent maintenance or emergency surgery. There was no true rest here, not in this place cradled by starlight.

He’d almost arrived at his room when a harsh voice tore through the veiled silence. “Hey. You.”

Lee stopped, but didn’t turn around. A midnight confrontation usually went one of two ways. He highly doubted it was going to be the pleasant one. “Something to say?” he asked coolly.

“Yeah, in fact, I do.” The vitriol in the man’s voice was clear. His footsteps drew close. “We don’t need you filthy things. Humanity can fight its own war. You bloody robots can eat shit.” A hand clamped down on his shoulder. “Once we reclaim the earth, there’ll be no place for things like you.”

“If you say so,” Lee said, reaching up to brush the man’s clammy fingers from his shirt. “Now if you’ll excuse me--” An arm shoved him roughly against the wall. The man was stocky, with bloodshot eyes sunk deep in his lined face. His breath stank of alcohol. “No,” he slurred in Lee’s face. “I don’t think I will. What’re you gonna do about it, filth?”

Lee wanted very much to put his knee between the man’s legs. How easy it would be to overpower this pathetic drunk, to give him a dangerous awareness of the fragility of human flesh. But the consequences of such behaviour were simply unacceptable. He schooled his features into neutrality, blue eyes like chips of ice. “I’m not going to do anything,” he said. “You’re not worth my time.”

The man’s face twisted with rage. He slammed Lee’s head against the wall with enough force to rattle his teeth. His vision glitched. “Fuck you,” the man hissed, spittle flying like bullets. “You’re an abomination.”

“Maybe,” Lee admitted. “But I’m still better than you.”

A wad of spit landed on his cheek, wet and sour and foul. “Fuck you,” the stranger said again. Then the anger seemed to drain from him, replaced by an intense disdain Lee reciprocated. He spat once more in Lee’s face before releasing him. “If the earth is going to be populated by freaks like you,” he said. “Then we might as well let the bloody Punishing have it.” He sauntered down the hall, swaying as though he walked on invisible waves.

Prick, Lee thought. He watched the man disappear around a corner before scrubbing a sleeve across his cheek. The wetness smeared across his face, like an oil slick across water. He cringed. Disgusting.

Straightening his jacket, he made his way down the corridor. His mood had soured considerably, all the more because the man had something vaguely resembling a point. He’d never permitted himself to dwell on it, and there had never really been the time nor space, but the truth was that Earth was for humanity. It always had been, and it always would be. People like him were needed now, but one day, under blue skies and birdsong, they would no longer be necessary. Just remnants of a time rather forgotten.

He paused outside your room. Soft golden light peeked out from under the door, like an invitation he didn’t know how to accept. What am I doing here?

The door slid open soundlessly. “Lee?”

Suddenly, you stood before him, all messy hair and tired eyes. You looked exhausted, but somehow still radiant, like a fire blazed just out of sight. No matter how dim, it never went out. Lee stuttered. “H-How did you know I was here?”

“I sensed fluctuations in your M.I.N.D,” you said, flashing a small smile. “And I recognise your footsteps.” Lee flushed, but said nothing. He couldn’t seem to meet your eyes.

“I should--”

You cut him off with a sweeping gesture. “Come in. I need some distraction from all this paperwork, anyway.” You didn’t wait for him to accept. Stepping aside, you poured yourself another cup of coffee and took a sip. “Can’t live without this stuff,” you said, grimacing at the bitter taste. “Though I really wish I could.”

Lee sighed. The door clicked shut softly behind him. He looked different in the warm glow of your lamp, all his hard edges blurred into something tender and vulnerable. “You really should take better care of your health, Commandant,” he said, snatching the cup neatly from your fingers. “Starting with going to bed at a reasonable time.”

You laughed. “You’re one to talk, Lee. Constructs need sleep too, you know?”

“Not as much as you.” He sniffed the confiscated coffee. “This smells terrible.”

“It’s not that bad. Does the job.”

“A job that shouldn’t need doing,” he scoffed, tipping the brown liquid down the drain. You studied him, noting the way he seemed to move just a little too stiffly, a little too absently. Lee was meticulous about everything, living his life with the precision of a needle. His M.I.N.D. was like a lake, a glassy mirror to the sky and stars, the world’s beauty reflected back to her heavenly eyes. Quiet and calm, tranquil. Two fluctuations within half an hour certainly wasn’t the norm.

“What happened?” you asked after a time, when the silence between you had grown heavy. He bristled. “Nothing.”

“Lee.”

His words came slowly, like they were dug from some secret grave where they’d been left to die. You waited patiently. His words were rare. To know his thoughts was a treasure beyond worth. “I ran into someone unpleasant outside the workshop,” he said finally. “They attacked me.”

Anger flared to life within you. “Who?” you growled, trying to calm the animal urge to fight, to protect. Lee didn’t look at you. “It doesn’t matter,” he said firmly. “I diffused the situation.”

“Then why are you so upset,” you demanded. “Nobody can hurt you, so what did they say?” He fell silent once more. You forced yourself to still, to be a confidant instead of a bully. There was no forcing Lee; he would tell you or he wouldn’t. When he spoke again, there was a bitterness in his voice that was heartbreaking.

“The Earth isn’t meant for people like me, Commandant,” he said. “We’re fighting to return it to its rightful owners. People like you.”

“Is that what they told you?” you asked, fighting to keep the emotion from your tone. “The Earth belongs to all of us. Including you.”

He smiled ruefully. “Always an optimist. But you’re wrong. Us Constructs know nothing but war. We were built for it, after all. When Earth comes back to us, it’ll need kinder hands to guide it. To heal it.”

You’d heard enough. You strode up to him and unwound his crossed arms. His eyes widened, those beautiful eyes bluer than the ocean and just as deep. “These hands are kind,” you said, turning his palms up to the sky. “These hands build robots. These hands protect me.” You brushed a thumb over his skin. “These hands protected Murray. So tell me, how are you not fit to heal the Earth?”

His breath caught, just slightly. Your name drifted from his lips like forbidden fruit, caught somewhere between meaning and insignificance. “It’s not the container, but what’s in it,” you continued, staring at his metallic right hand. The black steel was dull in the gloom, chipped paint and scuff marks marred the smooth surface. Proof of a life lived in danger, of a selfless devotion to the terrible war. You laced your fingers through his. “A body built for war isn’t the same as a soul made for one. A hand that kills isn’t the same as a heart that’s cruel. I don’t care what anybody says, if reclaiming the Earth means abandoning the people who fought for it, then let the Punishing have that damned rock.” You were painfully aware of the space between you, a distance that seemed to shrink but never close. “The future I fight for,” you finished quietly. “Is one with you in it.”

Lee was silent. Your fingers between his were like a brand upon his soul. He didn’t know what to say. All his words felt awkward, like the clumsy tatters of a dream. They stuck in his throat, choking him, but there was so much he wanted to say. So much he wanted to show you.

You moved to pull away. Don’t leave. Without thought, he tugged with his robotic hand, pulling you into an embrace that was at once desperate and tender. He held you against him, strong arms wrapped around your shoulders as though he couldn’t bear to let you go. “I was more upset than I realised,” he said softly, breath warm against the shell of your ear. “Thank you, Commandant.”

“Of course,” you said, pressing yourself just a little closer to him. “Anything for you, Lee.”

You stayed like that a while, and it was like the whole world paused. Just you and Lee suspended in a moment protected by the very night itself. You breathed in his scent, clean air on an ocean breeze, and rested your head in the crook of his neck. The warmth of another body, the press of skin on skin. You hadn’t realised how much you’d needed it.

When the moment broke, Lee’s cheeks were flushed. He pulled away. “S-Sorry,” he said awkwardly, as if all the embarrassment of the past few minutes was hitting him all at once.

You laughed, perhaps a little too sharply. A little too breathlessly. “Nothing to apologise for,” you said. “I think we both needed that.”

You cleared your throat. Something had happened, something that lingered in the air still. You could almost reach out and touch it, if only you dared. But you let it fade, felt it disappear from the air as if it had never been there at all.

Because you weren’t ready. And neither was Lee. Perhaps one day, you thought with some regret. But not today.

Sighing, you moved back to your desk and leaned against it. Picking up a file, you scanned it absently before tossing it back down. You quirked a smile at Lee. “Do you want to stay awhile?” you asked, gesturing to the pile of reports on your desk. “Plenty of riveting work to be done.”

Lee snorted. “As if I don’t have better things to do.”

“Do you?” You sat down. Here you both were again, back in familiar waters. A push, a pull, a constant tug-of-war. Never a winner, just the eternal game. It was both a comfort and a curse.

Lee grabbed a stack of papers and settled on the couch. “No,” he said. “Not tonight.”

---------------------

You rubbed a hand over your face. Some hours had passed since you’d invited Lee to stay. Though he didn’t look any worse for wear, you were quickly losing steam. Your mind had long lost its focus for reports. Instead, you studied Lee’s face in the gloom, admiring the perfect symmetry of his features. He was so beautiful.

You shifted on the couch. You’d migrated here a while ago with a blanket thrown over your outstretched legs. Your bare foot rested against Lee’s thigh, though neither of you acknowledged it. Sighing, you tossed the report to the ground. Your vision was so bleary you could barely make out the words anymore. Only one question drifted in your mind, still coherent after the delirium of six cups of coffee and no sleep.

“Why didn’t you fight back?” you whispered in the semi-darkness. “Why did you let some asshole attack you?”

Lee didn’t look at you. He was silent for so long you didn’t think he’d answer at all. “Because,” he said finally. “I didn’t want you to get into trouble, Commandant. Misconduct from me reflects poorly on you. I’m not going to disgrace you.”

You chuckled. “I think I would have been rather proud.”

“That’s because you’re reckless,” he said dryly.

“Guilty as charged.”

Several long moments passed. Your eyes drifted shut. “Sleep,” Lee said. “I’ll finish up.”

You were already half gone, free-falling towards an ocean as black as night.

You could have sworn something soft brushed against your temple.

But perhaps it was just a dream.

(some of) Lee and Chrome route pics from BOE(Ballad of Eden)!!

(footage/animation not mine obviously)

I realize I'm 3 days late to posting this on my Tumblr blog but eh who cares--

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE~~!!

Ugh can’t wait for most of these guys to show up on pgr global, anyways look at BEAUTY (4/5)

Credits to ANEHONI on pixiv

You know. I just got really sad and got a angst idea looking at this.

Warning: commandant's death, blood, Idk how sad it will be but sad. Thats all I can tell you.

It's honestly the only thing I can think of right now

You get dispatched with the gray ravens to a mission. And it's harder then you expected it to be.

Or rather. You just underestimated the corrupted. You were completely surrounded and lost liv and lucia on the way in

You and lee were slowly losing time and room to escape. All escape routes being blocked off by the corrupted. It's like they knew what to do.

While you didnt worry much about lucia and lick since they had already transferred their MIND back to HQ what concerned you more was Lee. If he started the process now he would surely be interrupted and by how the corrupted has been moving right now his inver device would be destroyed in an instant

You being you. Wanted a simple thing. For Lee's MIND to make it out safely.

The two of you tried to keep your distance from the corrupted which was successful but be as successful for so long

"Lee. Start your MIND transfer process."

"What?"

"Start your MIND transfer process."

"Why."

"Start it. Now. Do it while we have time. If they get any closer I'll deal with them. Just trust me and start it."

Lee knew what was happening. The corrupted closing in, blocking out all passageways, the commandant ordering him to transfer his MIND to HQ?

Commandant was planning on staying behind while lee was safe

"I cant do that. My job is to keep the commandant safe while the mission is completed or failed. I cant leave you behind."

"Does it look like a situation we can argue in? Lee. Just shut the fuck up and please do as I say. Just right now. Please."

Lee looked at you in shock. It was the first time you had ever talked to him in such a way. But he understood why

Under such a pressure of losing someone and danger slowly closing in. You can only hope for the best and wish that some things would work. And the something is for Lee's MIND transfer to be successful

"I'm sorry commandant..."

He truly was. He promised himself that he would protect you. But here he was. Fleeing all by himself while the commandant bleeds out fighting to keep him save.

"I swear. I swear I will come back for you. The moment it gets transferred. I'll. I'll come back for you commandant."

You looked back with a smile. "I'll be waiting then. Dont take too long."

He narrowed his eyes. He wanted to tell not to say such things. But he couldnt. The transfer was complete and now there was only the shell of a frame left behind. You were now there alone without help. The chances of you being shredded to pieces were high. No. You most likely were by the time he got to you.

But.

Who is this that hes thinking of right now?

What?

What was he even thinking about. He should be focused on getting back to work and polish his weapons and get ready.

"Lee. Theres no time to polish weapons and repair parts, we have to go back down and retrieve what we can and continue our mission there."

"Mission...?"

"Lucia I think the reboot process for Lee ended up in him losing parts of his memory."

"I dont think that matters at the moment. If it's a mission we need to carry it out and take care of it. Let's not waste time and get to it."

"Lee? Do you know where the commandant and you were last at?"

Lee looked at lucia in confusion. He didnt understand. The last time he had seen commandant was in the previous mission. But after that... was nothing. He couldnt remember anything. At all. The reboot process really wiped out his memory from the current mission. How awful.

"No I do not. But if the commandant is missing we should hurry and find them."

"Let's go."

Upon arriving at the scene they came across the battered and empty frames of lucia and liv. Many corrupted lay broken and defeated. The more deeper they entered the more corrupted they found. Just what had happened here...?

Clearing out all corrupted they came across they finally reached the last room they have yet to search. Lee stared. Why did this room feel familiar? Was he here before? While he was still a human...?

When they cautiously opened the door, the three of them were hit with the strong smell of blood. Human blood.

What laid in the corner was their commandant. And a broken down frame of lee. Surrounding them was the many dead frames of the corrupted. Each and everyone of them with a bullet through the head.

"What... took you all so long... I thought I was going to die... taking down all of these one at a time... you better carry... me out of here..." you let out a bitter laugh with a sigh as you closed your eyes

Lee felt proud that commandant had defended themself very well but that didn't last long as liv inspected the commandant's injured body.

Well. There was no point in doing so. The large pool of blood should explain almost everything. You had just finished bleeding out. Just how he thought you would.

He knew you would bleed out if he left you here, yet.. and order was an order... he couldnt disobey. But... would it have hurt to disobey that one time? It's all flooding in. The mission. The task. The objective. Lucia and liv.

Then commandant. He had left them to die. Here. If he had disobeyed maybe. Maybe it would have been him and not commandant.

Approaching the now lifeless body he lifted up the body by its shoulders. Pulling it into a tight hug. One that the body would not be able to return. This was the last one he would give you.

Pulling away from the body. He picked up the body and carried it out.

Know what lee was doing lucia and liv searched the room for retrivals

Soon lucia and liv exited the site to see lee has finished burying you. He didnt want to take you back to HQ. He couldnt pinpoint exactly why... but he didnt.... he couldnt.

He ruined the promise he had with you. Broke it. He promised to himself that he would protect you and look at what happened. Now you just lay under the ground. Cold. And lifeless.

All because he obeyed the orders from a commandant. If he had ignored the commandant title and stayed with you, then maybe he would have been able to stall time for you. It could have been him and not you...

I have a fat fucking feeling I fucked this over but like. I really wanted to write this out because holy shit this has been with me for the longest time. Sorry if this was scuffed as shit I really just want to put this out here and like just wanted to see what kind of end I would come down to.

To summarize what happened, the gray ravens left for a mission that they had underestimated. This ended up in the entire time having to transfer their MIND to HQ to keep it safe while their inver device were still intact. All three were successful but you ended up dying through exhaustion and just bleeding out. Lee had internally promised to himself that he would protect you and at that moment had made another promise that he would come back for you. Which he failed both. You died and he came back too late. In that temporary moment of leaving HQ and back to the mission his MIND reboot had caused him to lose the entire memory of the mission. He forgot everything. What happened. And especially you. After getting a little memory jog of the mission site and you the brief moment of memory loss went by and he regained the memories. They arent pleasant at all. Not at all. If he would he would just not remember it. In the end he let's you rest but not in the HQ. In Earth. At the end he regrets making promises and just obeying the commandant's orders. He wishes that he didnt see you as a commandant at that moment and sae you as someone to save.

I'm sorry again for the fact that this was scuffed. I'm not the best at writing and I tend to just throw out whatever just comes to mind and this is probably going to be one of the best examples of it. Anyways. Have a good day/night.

childhood best friends to lovers with xiao

ingredients: you have been friends with xiao almost your whole life... but it's the little things that make you realize there's something more.

calories: xiao + gender neutral reader

serving size: modern/highschool au・fluff・hurt/comfort・headcanons・too lazy to do word count rn

how did you guys meet in the first place? it was quite simple, really. it was when you guys were both first graders and the both of your parents were friends! all in all, they brought you over to his place and somehow xiao ended up accidentally throwing a cupcake at your face.

you thought he hated you until he popped up on your doorstep the next day, a single cupcake in his hand. to this day you think it's a pretty funny story and tease xiao for it (he always flicks your forehead and says he wouldn't mind throwing a cupcake at you again)

growing up, everyone usually knew xiao as the quiet boy in class and didn't pay attention to him. you knew him as your best friend with the great spotify playlists and the king of having no sleep. and now you were both in the middle of high school, he still barely got any sleep despite your protests.

it was surprising on how xiao was the one waking you up each day for school, climbing the tree beside your house and knocking loudly on your window. you decided to just leave it unlocked most nights (although once, he woke you up by pouring water on you and you arrived to school with a towel on your head)

days would go by normally. hanging out with xiao, studying with xiao, even having a sleepover with xiao! so when did your heart start to flutter at the sight of him?

was it when he climbed through your window, not in the morning but in the middle of the night? it was when he nudged you awake, telling you about a nightmare he had and apologizing that he woke you up. but you both ended up playing games until sunrise, eventually passing out on the bed with your head on xiao's lap.

or was it when he suddenly stopped walking, delaying the time you would reach some random destination? xiao turned around without a word, bending down and tying your shoelaces for you because it had gotten untied. you definitely remembered him ruffling your hair, telling you to check before you leave the house next time.

or maybe it was when he won that volleyball game! his whole team was cheering but he only smiled when he met you in the school parking lot, a bright expression on your face and you insisting that it was time to celebrate.

but what about that time you were both randomly hanging out at a park playground? a shady guy was around the area and you definitely noticed xiao's hand reaching for yours, pulling you close and convincing you that the other side of the park was much more interesting.

you appreciated xiao. you cared about xiao. you wanted him to be happy. and of course you loved him! you didn't realize that you loved him in a romantic way until your heart dropped at a statement xiao said.

"high school love is a waste of time," xiao scowled, getting annoyed at the amount of people relentlessly pinning for him and suddenly calling him "the hottest in the grade." why were they wasting his time? and being so frustrating?

your heart crushed as you tried to calm him down, telling him to ignore them and that he was right.

was he?

so you kept your feelings to yourself. even when summer came around and it was a hot day, refusing xiao's offer to have his cold drink. you knew he already took a sip and didn't want to seem annoying but he seemed tired of your complaining, eventually shoving (gently!) the straw in your mouth.

the only thing you could think about was that you just shared an indirect kiss with xiao.

despite wanting to confess already, you knew xiao wouldn't waste time on such things and you didn't want to be unfair towards him. even as some girl kept insisting for xiao's number and you instinctively told her that you were his partner, shooing her off and getting a thank you from xiao.

if only it was real.

but it felt real. it felt incredibly real that one day you cried in the rain, the day being extremely overwhelming and you hating it. you let yourself believe that it was real as xiao dropped the umbrella he had in his hand, choosing to hold you in his arms instead and deal with a cold later. you still remember him rocking you back and forth, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and ignoring anyone who walked by.

and then the final straw happened.

this time, you were the one who crawled through his window late at night. the one who received the 3 AM text saying "i got another one." the one who held xiao in their arms as he broke down in front of you the first time, just so tired of his stupid nightmares that almost felt like reality.

you were upset, just as xiao was when he saw you break down before. most importantly, you felt like the both of you didn't deserve this. xiao didn't deserve getting such horrid nightmares while you didn't deserve him. was it even right for you to be his friend in the first place? were you even worth it? you felt like such a waste of time.

it was ironic of you telling xiao to ignore the voices in his head when you listened to yours. and he knew.

so he cradled your face in his hands, even as tears rolled down his face and made you cry too. you finally listened, not speaking a single word as xiao placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and pulled you closer.

"i love you. so so, much. don't ever forget that."

and you didn't. to this day as you peppered kisses all over xiao's face and he slow danced with you in his room. although you could hardly believe that he confessed first and he liked you as well, you were thankful.

here's to many more days with your beloved. cherish them, all the way to the end.

i think you can tell the message is to appreciate people when you can (unless they suck). ilysm and you are worth it, stay strong and hold on!! idc how cringe i sound right now you deserve beautiful, happy things.

ANYWAYS

tags: @noirkkat, @tiny-aroace, @ben6ett, @abyssheart, @starglitterz, @blisschi, @heavensbeloved, @mystic-helena, @kachuuha, @xmellows, @rim0na, @velionqs, @glazelilyy, @yanbub, @urujiako, @adeptusjade, @zaultar @seerie, @blossomiich, @xiaozuha

bold: i can’t tag you for some reason!

i just KNOW i'm gonna regret posting this tomorrow morning but i need something to post so i hope you enjoyed!!

SEASONS OF BLOSSOM. [0.1]

love can start anywhere, even if yours started out fake.

genshintoon event hosted by @stellumi. img creds: "seasons of blossom" on webtoon.

part 1 (here!) — part 2 [wip]

pairing: xiao + gn!reader // word count: 4.4k // au: fake dating + high school // warnings: fluff, some swearing, reader's height not specified, very slight chilumi but not really (i just needed a character that was shorter than xiao that might like childe, also it's onesided)

author's note: as a writer who only writes fluff, i could not resist a fake dating au with xiao, especially if it's inspired by seasons of blossom. thanks to vera for letting me join this collab! you don't have to really read the webtoon series beforehand to read this, but it is recommended to better understand it! (if you do so, you can just glance at episode 2 + 3 to get a general idea ^^) this work is inspired off of "seasons of blossom" with many events changed, but otherwise i hope you all enjoy!

you like childe just a tiny bit, but you didn't think it was obvious or shown in your expressions at all. while he is seen as a friend of you and lumine, everyone in your class seems to nag at you and talk about how cute of a couple you two would be.

"you see... i like childe too," the girl across the table from you shyly says, and your mind blanks out—who was she again? she sat behind you in class, right? you weren't sure why you were sitting with her and her friends, just being waved over to their table as you and lumine had decided to go to burger king together for your lunch break.

you can hear lumine from beside you letting out a frustrated huff as the girl continues. "i don't really stand a chance of dating him, so just being friends with him would be nice!" your back visibly stiffens when her eyes move to look closely at you. "... but since you're close friends with childe, i wanted to ask you for help. would you be okay with that?"

"oh..." you awkwardly start with a chuckle. "we're just friends, so it really isn't my place to do, uhm... that. i'm not sure if i would be any help anyways."

"of course! you would be super helpful," the girl obliviously cheers and you're not sure if she even noticed your hesitance. "since i'm not really asking for much, can you introduce—"

"no," lumine coldly interrupts, and you sweatdrop at her sudden straightforwardness. she slams her phone down onto the table and all the girls across jolt in surprise. "we're not in elementary school, so why are you asking my friend for help to talk to someone?"

"w-what? why are you being like that lumine?" the girl stammers out while shaking her head. "[name] should be fine with it, so why—"

"because i like him too."

what? everyone around the table turns to lumine in surprise, especially you. she crosses her arms and holds her head up high, continuing with a deadpan look on her face. "i like childe too. so, no."

you can't help it—you yelp out in shock. "wait what?! you like childe? since when?"

"not for long." lumine simply says. "i don't think everyone heard you yet. should i get you a megaphone?"

you mumble out a little oops and a sorry, covering your mouth with your hands. you had no idea that lumine liked childe too—was she joking or just lying for fun?

"w-wow!" the girl's voice from across the table makes you turn to her. "you guys are best friends liking the same guy... what are you two going to do? what if [name] dates childe, lumine?"

your mind races—no one truly knows that you like childe a bit too, it hasn't been confirmed at all. and even if he did return the feelings (which unbeknownst to you, he did), could you do that to lumine and date him in front of her? your heart solemnly skips a bit in your chest, thinking what were these girls doing butting into other people's businesses anyway?

"i think there's a misunderstanding here," you start to speak up, and it's their turn to turn to you instead. "i... don't like childe."

"what?" you can see in your peripheral vision that lumine raises her eyebrow in confusion.

seeing that the other girls are confused too, you continue with the lying. "childe is my friend, yes—but i don't like him romantically like that."

"wait, really?" your classmate leans forward in her chair in absolute bewilderment. her hands palm down onto the table to hold herself up. "then who do you like, if not childe??"

ah, shit. you force a smile as your brain tries to list the people that have nothing at all to do with you. can you really lie your way out of this?

yes, you will, you make yourself think. do it for lumine.

without anymore stalling, you laugh out an awkward chuckle while scratching the back of your head. "i, uh... x-xiao! i like xiao!— you know, the guy who sits at the back of the class?"

while lumine abruptly sits up and yells at you a shocked, "no way in hell!" you can only sheepishly grin and hope that everyone will just believe you and forget about it in a week's time.

little did you know, the very guy that you mentioned is sitting at the table right behind yours— grimacing as his friend beside him (who was listening in on your conversation) spits out their drink at the sound of xiao's name.

you don't know what you have gotten yourself into.

(press "keep reading" to continue!)

"i still don't believe that you like xiao," lumine straightforwardly states. the two of you are standing at the staircase by your classroom, backs to the wall with her standing beside you. "really? the short guy who bumped into us last week?"

you can't help but giddily laugh, remembering what had happened. "well to be fair, i bumped into him first." it was true, you remember the day like it was just this morning.

both you and lumine walk out of the room at the start of your new semester, full of new classes, new teachers, and especially new classmates and students. she links her arm comfortably with yours as you two walk into the hallway. "holy crap, everything is so confusing. how are you and childe so settled in already?"

you can't help but giggle at her words. you open your mouth to respond when you suddenly feel your shoulder hit someone, and you turn to see a raven green-haired boy's head down to look at a game on a phone. one of his friends yelps out, "noo! i died!"

"sorry! are you okay?" you worriedly ask even as lumine still drags you along. you hold out your other hand to tap on the male's shoulder and he turns to you with a blank look. "hello?" ...what was his name again? "sorry for bumping into you—"

"it's fine, it's not my account anyway," the male calmly responds as his friend cries out something about losing a legendary item. your eyebrows only raise higher in concern.

"oh.. really? i'm still sorry, i didn't see you—"

"oh, forget it already!" lumine sighs out, exasperated as she keeps pulling you along. "you don't have to apologize so many times! and it's not your fault you couldn't see him, he's tiny as fuck!"

"l-lumine?!" you call out in surprise as you walk with her down the hallway. "how could you say that?" she only ignores you, continuing ranting about how rude they were for standing in the middle of the hallway. you turn around to look at the male and his friends while hoping that they weren't too offended.

you watch as the green-haired male only stares at you walk away, his friends hovered around him (and also above him, they're taller) while they hold out their hands with concerned looks, probably telling him not to think about what lumine said. you feel a bit bad, even debating going back to apologize for your friend's words when you see his mouth start to open to say something.

"hey," he calls out, and you can see lumine's head turn from beside you. the look of shock completely cascades over your face when he continues to say, "girl who's tinier than the guy who's tiny as fuck. you should grow yourself some common courtesy, it looks like you really need it."

"i still have no idea why you held me back from socking a punch to his face, that little idiot!" lumine's scoff brings you back to reality. you watch as she sips from a box of strawberry milk while her eyebrows narrow. "and by the way, i was lying about liking childe yesterday. i just wanted to say what that girl would say... you get what i mean, right?" she sighs out when you shake your head with a confused look. "you can drop the act, i know you like childe."

well, you confidently think. unfortunately for her, i'm not thinking about backing down anytime soon. "it's nothing like that, lumi. i was being honest, i really do like xiao."

"arghh!! don't say it again, you weirdo!" she cries out, and you giggle. "what's so good about him anyway?! i honestly don't get your type at all."

"he's cute," you speak truthfully— and technically, you were not lying. "his hairstyle suits him, and the way some of his hair strands wave around his face look really pretty." you do a quick motion with your hands to demonstrate and lumine raises her judging eyebrows at you. "and he always has this attractive red eyeliner on that matches his eyes perfectly, and—oh! and his lean figure fits his motorcycle jacket so satisfyingly to me. it's like he's those guys who are hot, pretty, and cute at the same time, don't you think?"

"no! stop rambling dummy!!" lumine visibly reddens, and you were sure that the last description you mentioned reminded her of her crush. you laughed as she spoke, "he's rude and brash! and super short!"

"hmm, kind of reminds me of someone," you funnily teased as the bell rang, and lumine whacked you lightly on the shoulder. "we should head back to class, that was the bell."

"you're such a fucking weirdo," lumine grumbled as you two walked down the stairs to your class floor. you could only keep giggling in return at her words, holding out your hand to take her milk box to throw away.

yet again, out of your notice and vision there he was; xiao at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall as he looked down at his phone. his friends freaked out and fumbled from beside him, staring at him with a perplexed look.

"what are you going to do, xiao?" one of them, chongyun, asked. a blush was on his face just hearing you talk adoringly about xiao. "our classmate likes you!"

"what do you mean?" xiao simply replies with the phone still in his hands. "i'm gonna defeat this boss, that's what. that was just the warning bell."

"that's not what yunyun means!" hu tao, xiao's other friend, cries out. "remember when i spat out my drink at burger king at our classmates talking about you and childe?"

"yeah, very clearly," he sourly says. he remembers that they weren't really talking about him though—he was only mentioned when you brought up your crush on him.

hu tao ignores his words while ranting on. "that person already said that they liked you! twice! do you not care, oh-mighty nonchalant god?"

xiao only responds with a, "they have a name you know." he turns his head towards chongyun, motioning towards the phone in his hands. "you're on low health, yun."

the blue-haired male completely forgets about the conversation beforehand as he yelps out, "wait-wait-wait, drink a healing potion! that one! quickly!"

hu tao groans. "you two are so clueless!"

hu tao might be half right... but it seems that nobody notices the tips of xiao's ears blazing red, him standing between his friends looking over his shoulder at the phone. your words are still ingrained into his mind as he has to repeatedly take in your words and realize what you had said over and over again... do you actually like him?

ever since april and spring had started, new students were assigned the duty to clean the classroom once the school day was over so the old students from winter didn't have to do it anymore. unfortunately for lumine, your name was called along with the other names, meaning that you couldn't hang out as much after school anymore. you also felt a nudge on your shoulder from the girl (from burger king) who sat behind you, giving you a thumbs-up and a whispered "good luck!" when xiao's name was called as well. you two were stuck on mop duty while childe and zhongli did dusting and amber and yoimiya were on broom duty.

"we should probably come later next time since we have to mop after the brooms," you spoke awkwardly, gripping the handle of your mop to your chest as you stood beside xiao in the back of the classroom. everyone else seemed to lively clean the room together as you two were quiet, xiao on his phone while you guys waited for everyone else to finish together.

the only thing he said in return was a "yeah." and it was silent once again after that.

then came midterms— meaning the students didn't have to clean after the day was over until midterms were over. you quickly gazed at the questions of your paper as the teacher called out instructions, your hand reaching for your pencil bag until you realized you didn't have the right pen the teacher mentioned beforehand. you calmly scooted to the side of your chair and tapped on lumine's shoulder, who sat diagonally to the left and front of you, and she turned and raised her eyebrow at you.

"oh shit, i don't have an extra scantron pen," lumine silently cursed after you told her your problem. she pondered for a while with a finger tapping her chin. "if you want, i can ask the teacher for you—"

"no-no, it's okay," you quickly whispered with a smile. "i'll just ask around, thank you lumi."

she sent you a worried look and a good luck thumbs-up as you leaned back into your chair. swallowing your nerves, you turned around and asked the girl behind you, "hey, do you have an extra scantron pen?"

she shook her head with a sad look, "sorry, i only brought one. maybe ask kyun?"

well crap, you didn't know who that was. you just simply nod your head and whisper a small thank-you before turning back around with a sigh. even if the teacher would scold you in front of everyone, you would just have to ask her if you could borrow one. it didn't seem like there was another way out of this situation.

however, right as you are about to raise your hand, you see a subtle hand out of the corner of your eye place a pen (the exact pen you needed) at the side of your desk. your eyes can't help but widen in shock— everyone you asked didn't seem to have an extra pen, so how did someone else notice that you needed one?

"xiao!" the teacher calls out, and you turn to look up at him with surprise and a little guilt for getting him into any possible trouble. "what are you doing standing up? we are about to start a test."

"i accidentally dropped something," he calmly replies, holding up his other hand with a pen in it. "i need it for the test."

everyone's eyes seem to fly to xiao's figure, and you freeze up as you definitely feel the eyes of lumine and the girl behind you on you. the teacher sighs as she says something along the lines of ask next time, and motions for xiao to sit back down. when he glances at you as he turns around, your heart literally skips a bit before sending him a thankful look before he walks back to his seat.

lumine's eyes feel like they take a while to leave your face, and for the rest of your test, the only thing you can think about is xiao's sunset eyes gazing into yours— even if it was just for half a second. you couldn't even tell if your warm face would ever cool down until you were done answering all of the questions on your papers.

however, lumine's eyes weren't the only ones on you. hu tao stared at the back of your head in awe, absolute surprised at what had just happened.

xiao, the introvert. xiao, the tsundere. xiao, the quiet, scarily good gamer. xiao, the one hu tao knows very well that doesn't like to interact with people at all, just voluntarily stood up and gave you one of his extra pens. well to be honest— his only pen. xiao had turned around in his seat and ordered hu tao to give him one of her extras, because she "always brings a shit-ton of writing utensils". hu tao could only watch in astonishment when he stood up and put his pen onto your desk, and not only that, but also flat-out lied to the teacher with an excuse.

if hu tao said that she wasn't shocked a little bit, then she would be straight-up lying to everyone's faces.

"it's been a while since we had to clean," you start to say, mopping one side of the classroom with xiao mopping the other side. the fact that it was just the two of you inside with unbearable silence was killing you, and although it would be awkward, starting small talk sounded a bit better than two high schoolers silently mopping together. "how did you do on your midterms?"

"alright," is all he says, and you chuckle nervously in response while continuing with the mopping. you keep your eyes focused on the ground, finally realizing why lumine didn't believe your lie of having a crush on xiao—he's complete opposites with childe. while childe is chaotic and full of life, energy, and fun, xiao is quiet and keeps his hobbies to himself. he doesn't seem to speak up much unless asked to, and he seems to keep an expressionless look on his face. and you told lumine that you were crushing on this guy? whoever believed you probably had their eyes on their ass.

you look up when the front of your mop hits against another one, and meet the eyes of xiao in the process. you guys had finished mopping the room, finally meeting at the same side, but it's like you can't stop laughing to make up for the silence when you're with xiao— a brand new giggle bubbles out of you instinctively.

"we met," you point out the obvious, tapping his mop lightly with yours and then pulling it back to your side with a little aftermath of embarrassment. your head suddenly perks up at remembering something to say, and you let out an ahem before speaking again. "oh and, uh... thank you for lending me your pen last time. it was a lot of help."

speaking of which; you had yet to return his pen back to him. you're about to turn around to go to your backpack when xiao suddenly speaks up too, saying your name.

you don't even have a real crush on him— so why does your figure still, stiffening up at the sound of his voice casually saying your name?

"yeah?" you question. is he going to say you're welcome, or something nonchalant like it was nothing? you look at him expectantly while waiting for his answer.

and then out of nowhere: "i thought you liked me."

you completely freeze up as your heart feels like it comes to a complete stop, the mop handle falling out of the palms of your hand as your mouth opens with no words coming out. the male in front of you bends down and expertly catches the mop before it can fall and hit your leg, your figure still in a shocked state.

how did he know? did lumine tell him? there's no way she would— you know that she doesn't want to believe your lie, wanting you to admit your original crush already. besides, even if you really did have a crush on him, your best friend wouldn't be a snitch. xiao just watches as the your startled look turns to one of utter confusion, your fingertips touching when he places the mop back into your hands.

"...huh? w-what are you talking about?" you slowly start to speak, yet another nervous chuckle falling out of your lips. was he really just that good at reading you like a book? not only did he notice that you needed a pen from the back of the classroom, but he found out that you fake-liked him. how did he do it?

you're about to stammer out an excuse when he plainly says, "you yelled it out at burger king a few weeks ago. like this—

"ah! h-haha, uhm!!" you stammer to interrupt him, holding out your other hand to stop him from reenacting what you said before and humiliating you further. "i didn't know you were, er, there..."

oh shit. truly, you ask yourself what have you gotten yourself into? oh goodness— out of all the people you could've chose, why did your brain land on xiao? did it have to be xiao? and why did he have to be at burger king the same time and day as you? where would this even get you?

well... an offer for a fake dating relationship, that's what.

and it brings you unfortunately to now, the two of you as the center of attention the next day in the back of the classroom, because xiao had just carelessly and emotionlessly announced to everyone that you had started dating, on this very day. you didn't know he would— all you did was whisper in his ear, asking him a question about the relationship you two would fake that you talked about yesterday.

the only thing you can do is try to keep a calm smile on your face (and absolutely fail while doing it), spine stiffening up as xiao reaches for your hand and casually holds it in his. even as lumine slams open the door and curses out a "no fucking way!" he still holds your hand up, almost like he's rubbing it in her face in a you were wrong way.

the first thing xiao thinks when he holds your hand is that it's warm—almost like you.

your personality is warm, your aura is warm, even the way you speak is warm. you seem to be nice to everyone even if they were annoying, like the people who kept asking what answers you got after the midterms. you throw people's lunch trays away for them when they ask and you once even told him that you could mop the classroom by yourself, which he declined.

he hates it. he doesn't like how kind you are, and how much of a pushover you seem. you let people walk all over you and don't do a single thing about it. it makes his mind go mad.

... but it kind of makes him feel like someone should be there by your side, to protect you. to play the bad guy and tell people to get lost when they try to order you around.

"sorry if i offended you," you had said the previous day after he had put away the mops, his back to the window and you seated in front of him on a chair. you had just explained the whole situation; about lumine and childe, about the crushes, and why you lied. even the way you fidgeted with your fingers in your lap made him want to look away in disgust, but it was you, your voice, and your hands. it was at least a bit bearable. but xiao could already tell from the way you avoided his gaze that you were thinking about a lot of other things— what to say, what to do, and what you shouldn't do.

"what did you want to achieve by lying?" xiao straightforwardly asked as you finally—and awkwardly—looked up to meet his stare. "you don't care if childe dates someone else? are you really going to back down for your friend?"

"um, it's not like that," you nervously say, then quickly add, "backing down, i mean. but either way, i don't plan on dating someone my best friend has feelings for anyway."

xiao ponders for a moment with a hand in his pocket, keeping his eyes on you until you eventually look away to the side. "does your friend believes your lie?"

you chuckle in response. "ah, definitely not." the male notices that you always seem to be laughing whenever your blonde friend is around or mentioned—you guys must be close. you continue to talk while taking your jacket off, "i'm trying to convince her, but she definitely thinks that i still like childe. i just wish we could get it over with."

he thinks, staring at you pull one of your arms out of your sleeves. for someone who seems like a stubborn pushover, your lying was pretty good—when you were rambling about his looks at the staircase, he almost believed you himself. the tips of ears even turn red at the thought of thinking about it again, but he reminds himself that you were just acting. anyway, what would even be the ideal way to get out of this situation? it didn't seem like just insisting to your friend that you had a crush would continue to work.

"want me to help you?"

"huh?" you look up confused from shrugging off your jacket, then put on a little smile. "oh, this? it's okay, i'm done taking it off anyways."

"what?" xiao raises his eyebrow, and something in him almost wants to scoff from amusement as you awkwardly stiffen up from realization. "why would i help you take off your jacket?"

"t-then what did you mean??"

"you don't care what childe thinks, so it's just lucy that's the problem now, right?" xiao simply asks as he steadily leans off of the wall. taking one of his hands out of his pocket, he runs it through his hair to push aside the hair strands in his eyes, staring at you while waiting for your reply.

"her name is lumine," you slowly speak with your eyes meeting his. "a-and i guess?"

"then it's simple." he steps forward and you stop breathing for a moment— his face is only inches away from yours. you can see every speck of golden red in his amber eyes from here, and count all of his raven-green hair strands from his black hair strands. his scent is sweet— something varying between caramel and honey, but you can't put your finger on it.

well, it's not like you have time to anyway. not when you freeze up at his words; "just go out with me."

"w-what?" you jolt in your chair, abruptly scooting back and looking up at him with a start. "what are you talking about?"

this time xiao finally smiles in amusement. actually, not even a smile— it's practically a small, amused smirk.

"lumine will believe you if we're dating."

end of part one.

ending author's note: now i could be mean and just leave it off here, and although i really want to, i'm not evil 🙏 see ya guys in the next one after i write it!

our secret.

secret relationship trope.

pairings: diluc, scaramouche, xiao + gender neutral reader

author's note: fluff!! also might make a pt.2, what characters would y'all like to see for that? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

☆ diluc: modern au

the red-haired male simply rolls his eyes, ignoring his irritating brother, kaeya, and his teasings of the mysterious keychain stuck to diluc's belt loop.

the keychain is of a very cute, miniature green dinosaur, which feels very uncharacteristic for someone like diluc ragnvindr to have. and kaeya knows his brother, does he not? the very man who's stoic face and aura drives most women looking for romance away, has a dinosaur looped to his belt.

...it's definitely odd.

every question about the keychain from his brother goes straight through diluc's ear and right out of the other, but once diluc's wine bar closes for the night, kaeya finally leaves out of the door (thankfully! ).

yet the next following afternoon, when kaeya goes out for a relaxing lunch break with his co-workers, he notices that there's a familiar looking bracelet wrapped around your wrist as you wave your hand around and talk to jean.

and what do you know... it's a blue dinosaur...?? that looks very similar to diluc's keychain??

when kaeya asks you about it after your conversation, you calmly respond with a "oh, this? amber got it for me! it's cute isn't it?" while lisa fawns over it, kaeya concludes that there's no way you and diluc are matching accessories, leaving it at that.

you don't mention that amber gave you those in a pack of two.

when it's time to go back to your offices, you let out a discreet sigh of relief and keep a calm smile on your face. because after all, kaeya noticing your bracelet lets you know that your lover did wear his matching keychain, in the end. even after he told you he wouldn't be able to use such a thing.

☆ scaramouche: canon universe

dropping a little something on accident during a harbinger meeting is practically considered normal. you just crouch down, pick it back up, and everybody moves on with the talking.

sometimes it may be childe dropping a pencil, la signora dropping a pen, or dottore accidentally letting a paper slip away. sometimes it's even you who drops something, but nobody ever dotes on it for too long before continuing.

in the current meeting of the day, a pen accidentally slips out of your palm— but as usual, it's no big deal. you bend down to pick it up, but as soon as you get back up, you can feel scaramouche's hand gently cover the back of your head so you don't hit it harshly against the underside of the table.

you sit back into your chair and mumble him a quick thank you, but everyone else around the table still seems to notice it; especially childe who currently has the biggest wide-eye look on his face. but who would dare interrupt the tsaritsa about it during the meeting?

when the meeting is eventually over and childe points it out afterwards, the cobalt-haired male just scoffs in reply that it was "common human decency". and of course, childe has to mention that scaramouche never did that for him— cue the two of them starting a reckless banter in the hallway. even la signora throws you a curious look.

unbeknownst to you, though, all scaramouche can think about is the urge to explain that childe that he isn't his lover, so why should he cover the ginger's head?

but of course, the relationship between you two should be kept a secret... for now.

☆ xiao: highschool au

truthfully xiao does not mind having a private, romatic relationship with his partner. in fact, he prefers it— to be able to be affectionate with his lover with no one there to judge him on the sidelines.

yet... having a secret relationship does have its downsides.

for example: when xiao cannot be found during a lunch break one day, he is unfortunately interrogated by a certain someone when he arrives back to the classroom for the next class. of course there's a bombard of questions from hu tao, 'cause where on earth could xiao could've have gone in that time?? especially when he usually hangs out with her, keqing, and ganyu?

in the end, xiao flatly responds to the main question of "where were you?" with a simple "nowhere", having to sit through the feeling of hu tao's eyes digging suspicious holes into the back of his head during class.

well, what else is he supposed to do? explain that he was exchanging secret hugs with you in the empty classroom on the floor above, and revealing both of your relationship statuses in the meantime?

you had texted him previously that you had failed a test he knew you studied really hard for (because you came over to his house to study), and just something in him despite being the tsundere he is knew to comfort you somehow. and apparently he was right and that physical affection was your main love language, cause tucking your face into his chest and patting the back of your head gently got you to feel better.

...but obviously, xiao won't be informing his friends about that anytime soon. so avoiding questions will have to do for now.

everybody loves somebody.

summary; there's something off every time scaramouche tries to find a partner.... pairings; scaramouche x reader (no pronouns used) warnings; angst angst angst, no beta, uhhh mcd (reader is already dead), what scara is doing here is not healthy bestie scar pls get some help, unhealthy coping mechanism?? (scar trying to cope with your death), do i even have to say hes ooc? notes; this song,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man this SONG i have been obsessed with 50s love songs so much lately i am so down bad for this one especially,,,, it can be used in like a love fic or whatever this sick idea is the possibilities are literally endless i am so sorry if this is shit, i literally wrote and rewrote this 100 times bc i had a very specific vibe/vision i wanted and i rlly struggled to capture it (and i cant tell if i even did capture what i wanted) but anyway

song; everybody loves somebody- dean martin (pls it makes it so much better to listen while reading)

vv special ty to @alonelysimp for helping me out a bunch w this fic <333 literally wouldnt be possible without all the help xe gave me love u lots bestie

everybody loves somebody sometime.

scaramouche felt sick. he sat at the table with a slightly exasperated expression, his tired eyes staring, calculating, at the chair at the other end. when sultry hands smoothed over his shoulders, his expression only darkened.

these were not your hands.

"scara?" the hands' voice asked. "are you alright?"

and that was not your voice.

he turned, disgust shining through his forced smile.

"get out."

and although my dream is overdue.

he was tired. he was so, so tired of looking into eyes that weren't yours, holding hands that weren't yours, kissing lips that weren't yours.

they weren't you.

none of them were you.

but he couldn't seem to stop searching, pursuing an impossible dream with an insatiable desperation. yet every time he thought he had finally found someone, it all felt wrong.

no, no, no.

this hair is too light.

these eyes are too dull.

they all just weren't the right fit. it was fine. he just needed to try again. he just needed to try harder.

your love made it well worth waiting...

scaramouche dug his nails into his palms, all alone once again. frustration simmered under his skin, threatening to boil over.

it wasn't working.

why isn't it working?

he had been asking the same question all along, but a new, uncomfortable query had dug its claws into his mind.

would anyone truly be able to be like you?

could there really be anyone who had those eyes that rivaled the brightest of stars, or that voice that put ocean waves to shame? would anyone be able to view him the same way you did? to love him the same way you did?

archons, how he missed you. the longing, the need, the desperation for you to be back in his arms was beyond all reason, and sometimes it almost felt like too much.

but it was alright. he would be able to find someone like you if he had to search the entirety of teyvat. someone ought to be able to fill the gaping void shaped like you.

for someone.... like you.

even if he had to force them in.

The Soul of the Death. ( PART. 1 W/ DILUC)

summaries : where you died in a tragic event and reincarnated as your s/o guardian angel.

Characters : diluc x gn!reader (separate)

contains : mention of death, heavy injuries, angst, comfort/hurt

A/N : i got inspired by one of those horror folklore my friend used to tell me. It was actually a tragic love story which lead me to feel some sort-of pity towards the characters. So here we go, an actuall angst with a spice of both comfort/hurt.

DILUC

When diluc saw you dying in his arms, all he could’ve think about is your smile. He wished you could stay longer, he wished he could apologize to you, he wish he could love you in the same amount as your love for him. He cries out for help to the people of the village whom saw the witness of your murderer and even saw the dead end of your life. but none of them respond to his plea, are they deaf?!, he hisses.

The knights of favonious have been sent to the accident after one of the elders of the village took pity on diluc. they arrive 40 minutes late. Now, all they could saw are just diluc dead eyes and your corpse in his lap.

you’ve been pronounced dead in his arms. He could only hear your last word as if it were the wind who guide you to your last breath.

But it was all up to the past he committed to, now he could’ve only see your tombstone and a hand-drawn picture of you as a remembrance of your passing. Though, he doesn’t know that now you’ve been reincarnated as a guardian for him. It was a blessing indeed, but how could you really protect him when he couldn’t even feel your presence now?

“Diluc..” you called. still, he doesn’t answer. you called him again for the tenth time. Purposingly trying to catch his attention, but no answer could be found from his mouth, as if you were just a wind whom ran through his delicate ears.

and in no time, a heavy sound could be hear next to you. shit, He fell unconscious.. you panicked. Thinking any other ways to make him awake, but really? Are you forgetting the fact he could see you if he’s unconscious?

And To his suprised, he manage to hold both of your cold hands which have ran through his soft messy hair for awhile now. As if you were still here with him.

“Love…is this you? Are you..really here..?” , his unsteady voice speaks a lot of his flowing emotions.

“Yes i’m here all the time diluc! you’re temperature is not so stable now, so please take a rest! I’ll be here to comfort you in your sleep, so please let—“

“ahaha, this is so like you, how am i dreaming of you even after everything..i missed you where have you been?” , he feel like he about to tear up anytime soon, he knew he shouldn’t have gone this far. How can a dream resembles everything about you, my dear?

He tries to hug you, and failed. his body temperature drowns him to his unconscious posture, now he could only sobs and wait for you to soothe his hair again while talking about his-now current reality with you being his none other than a guardian angel. He knew you would notice his tears, but who cares for now on? He just want to listen to your voice and feel your presence.

“I have been staying with you for awhile now…so, Diluc i’m here to comfort you even if you could no longer see me in your side.. the arrows in the accident still hurt me indeed but i do not wish for you to see me in pain after-all the love you gave me when i was still alive..”

“I have no regret on loving you..so please live well for me, i’ll stay by your side, call me if you need the wind to embrace you, alright?”

You gently soothes his hair, humming a lullaby every mother in monstadt usually sang to their children.

“oh god..you’re truly are a blessing my love”

How you grew up

➳ Childe x gn!reader

➳ Oneshot ; 2.4k

➳ Angst without comfort ; Use of Childe's real name

You never expected to see your best friend again after he disappeared from your life years ago, but was your reunion really a blessing? [1O.O7.2O21]

Zep's Note ; I never really write angst nor did I ever write anything like this before. So uh, I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this?

content under the cut | masterlist

It was over a decade ago that your best friend had disappeared without leaving a trace. Over a decade since you had last seen his ocean blue eyes that sparkled when the boy smiled, since he had last brought you pretty flowers he found in the neighbors' gardens, since he had last taken your hand in his as you ran through the Snezhnayan snow together. On a day of misery over a decade ago, Ajax had vanished from your life, and not even his family knew a thing.

That's what they said, at least, and no one in town questioned anything. Neither did you, but what was there for you to question when you were only ten years old? 

You were in love with Ajax back then, and he was in love with you – for as far as two ten-years olds were able to comprehend the true, in-depth meaning of love. As if it were meant to be a tragedy, you had promised each other to be forever together, to get married when you were old enough, just a few days before the boy disappeared. 

Years passed, the promise slipped from your memory and ended up forgotten, and the small necklace Ajax had given you to seal the promise had lost its significance. 

Until he was in front of you again.

April 17

Upon barely reaching the top of the stairs that led you to the Northland Bank in Liyue Harbor, a sudden appearance in your vision had you gasping for air frantically and you almost toppled down again in sheer and utmost shock.

The purpose of your visit was long forgotten, so was everything else on your mind; all was washed away now that you almost collided with the person who had been about to descend the same stairs you had climbed, but he now stood frozen as much as you did.

It was over a decade that your best friend had disappeared without leaving a trace, and now he was in front of you, all grown up into a tall and handsome young man but still so much like the Ajax you knew.

"Y/N..." he whispered, and just when your name fell off his lips, you leaped forward and threw your arms around him with a sob.

He too had teared up, eyes watery as he held you so so so close, as if he was afraid of another decade of separation if he would let go of you again. With great effort you peeled away from his embrace after a while, let your eyes wander to meet his, cupped his face and called his name with a shaky voice.

There were so many questions, so many things you wanted to say, but your voice had forgotten its sole purpose and you could only utter out his name over and over and you felt like crying for real when a smile washed over Ajax's face.

You weren't stupid. Of course you recognized a member of the Fatui when you saw one. It was quite clear to you that Ajax had joined the Tsaritsa's delegation of diplomats, but in your moment of bliss you chose to ignore it.

You had found Ajax again, the boy you had lost for more than ten years. The hows and whys were the least of your concerns now. All that mattered was the fact that you were reunited, and you were utterly overwhelmed by the fact that he was right in front of you.

He took you to where he was staying in the harbor city that night, and though he avoided the topic of what happened during his long absence, you two happily reminiscensed about all the good memories you had of growing up together.

And the promise? He never forgot.

It made you wonder. What if maybe, just maybe, the bond you once had could be restored again? What if you two could still find the together you had promised each other all those years ago? If fate reunited you again, who knew what else fate had in store for you?

June 24

Ajax wasn't Ajax anymore.

Though you initially thought your friend was still the boy from all those years ago, it was a statement you quickly dismissed. Ajax had changed, and drastically so. What happened to him when he disappeared? And how did he end up with the Fatui?

He was a Vision bearer now, aided by an additional Delusion. Why did he need the strength of two elements? You were a bit worried about it. Did his Vision relate to his disappearance? It wasn't a rarity for Archons to bestow their elemental power onto people in a situation dire or tragic. And then there was his Delusion. Not much was known about these artificial Visions, but they were rumored to be harmful for their bearers.

What was he doing?

"Good morning, Ajax," you greeted the male, smiling softly as you woke up next to him in the morning.

"Can you stop calling me that?" he asked, averting his gaze as if he was ashamed. "I- Please call me Childe from now on."

"Childe?" you echoed, your smile rapidly faltering.

He had asked you to be his the day before, and the sweet moment had you forgetting about all your worries and doubts regarding the male, but they all came back now.

You wanted to ask him why, but Ajax, or Childe, slipped out of the bed and started to prepare for another day of work. He got dressed, fixed his hair, gave you a quick kiss, and then he was gone, leaving you behind in a confused daze.

It was summer in Liyue Harbor, so why was it so cold all of a sudden? You curled up into a little ball under the blankets in the empty bed and heaved out a sigh. Maybe the red flags you blissfully ignored shouldn't have been ignored.

The fact that he worked for the Fatui, the double elements he wielded, and above all, the fact that his ocean eyes had lost their sparkle, and his gaze had become empty and dull and his sweet and boyish smile never reached his eyes anymore.

You fell in love with the guy who was merely a ghost of the person he used to be. He was no longer your Ajax. Who was Childe?

July 10

He was a Harbinger.

Childe was one of the Fatui Harbingers, the elite that led the military detachment along with the Tsaritsa herself.

Was that why he had become so cold? There were weeks where you hardly saw him, when the Fatui required his full focus and attention and he had no time left for you.

He came back tired that night, mood sour and grumpy, but he still forced out a smile when he walked past you. You could see he tried to show his heart, his warmth, to tell you he loved you despite everything. That night, he fell asleep in your arms, and it felt truly okay.

But Childe was still a Harbinger.

You weren't too sure what it meant to be one, but it seemed to implement a fair deal of stress on the male in your arms. That must be why he often acted the way he did. Yet, it didn't make it less tough on you.

You missed Ajax.

All was good now that he was peacefully asleep in your arms and you held him close now that he let you do so for once. Sadly, it was but a momentary burst. Tomorrow he'd be the cold Fatui elite again, and you weren't looking forward to it.

This wasn't what you signed up for. You had cancelled your return to Snezhnaya so you could stay with the man you loved but it felt as if you were only drifting apart more. For Celestia's sake, Childe was a tapestry of secrets who hid his true self even from his lover, and he got upset at you whenever you gingerly brought up the subject while all you wanted was to understand him.

He refused to open up to you, no matter how hard you tried. Childe was at peace when he slept in your arms, but that was as far as the moments of love you shared went. This was no good, and you were reaching the limit of how much more you could take.

You felt homesick, and the feeling of home you had hoped to find at Ajax's side wasn't there. You yearned for Snezhnaya, because next to Childe, you felt lonely.

You knew he tried, but was it enough?

It was a game of push and pull, and the male seemed to be at war with himself, with his feelings and his desires. Was it even fair for you to expect him to love you properly while he was struggling with his own problems?

But he was the one who asked you...

September 15

He came home, his clothes covered in stains of crimson blood. You didn't want to believe it, you refused to acknowledge it, but your attempts failed when he greeted you with a cheerful grin. So when acts of violence were still freshly engraved in his memory, he was able to find some mirth within himself? He needed to spill blood in order to look happy?

This wasn't right.

"Childe, why?" you quietly asked.

"I got stronger again," came the reply, and the hand that had just held a bloodied sword now ruffled your hair playfully.

You had enough. It was getting too much, it started to scare you. You had to get away, leave Liyue and distance yourself from the man you loved – did he even love you? You didn't know, nor did it matter. You had tried to tell yourself that you were happy here in the beginning, but time had taught you that you weren't happy at all.

That evening, you cooked him dinner – his favorite meal, because you knew it would be the last time you ever cooked something for him. The smile he gave you pulled on your heartstrings, made you doubt your decision to leave, but what was one small moment of joy worth against the emptiness you felt around him perpetually?

For months you had desperately clung onto the sorry excuse of your relationship with Childe. You refused to believe Ajax was gone for real, hoping that he would come back if you held on tightly enough. You tried to love Childe, you really did.

Your heart was at war. Next to you was the boy you spent your gleeful years of youth with, the boy who was your first love, yet at the same time he wasn't. You knew your heart wouldn't find peace if you stayed here.

You knew you had to end it, so you did.

"This isn't working, Childe," you said, your voice shaky. "I'm... I'm breaking up with you."

You were on the brink of tears when you forced out those words, but you started truly crying when the Fatui in front of you teared up as well, hurt and disbelief falling over his features.

"You grew up, Childe. I love Ajax, but I can't find him in you anymore. It's unfair for us both if this illusion lasts any longer."

You saw his heart shatter when the meaning of your words dawned upon him, and yours did the same. It fell apart in a thousand tiny pieces, shards of a broken heart that would take ages to be mended again – if it could be mended, you weren't too sure about that.

It hurt, it hurt so damn much. But it had been hurting you for months, and living in a lie had tarnished your spirit. Old wounds resurfaced, torn open so they could heal again and properly this time.

There was a boat leaving for Snezhnaya that night, and you got your hands on a ticket in the very last minute before its departure.

Childe held you close for the last time ever. His arms were around you and yours were around him in an embrace that held naught but pain. He was crying, you were too, and you both struggled to breathe as you knew all between you was over for good now.

For the last time, his teary eyes sought yours, and he hoarsely whispered your name, tellong you to take care of yourself. You told him the same, and those were the last words you ever exchanged as the boat carried you far, far away from him.

December 21

You found a small silver necklace with a tiny gemstone as blue as the shimmering ocean in a small box in your wardrobe, back in your house in your Snezhnayan hometown.

Suddenly, you recognized it.

Your heart was hollow as you stepped into the cold winter that fell over the country. It was icy, the frostbiting wind howling over the streets. In your apathetic daze, it meant nothing to you. Your feet dragged you to a certain spot just outside of the village you both grew up in, only one goal in mind;

Finding closure.

You arrived at the lake, a place that appeared in so many of your memories. You glanced around the frozen scenery, and the sight pulled on your heartstrings. You suddenly remembered all the snowmen you and your first love used to make here, the adventures, the thrill of running into a hilichurl for the very first time and how he had protected you. Oh, was that a treehouse you and Ajax had build together?

You had to get out of here.

The silver necklace rested in your tight fist as you stared at the surface of the half frozen over lake, taking deep breaths to calm yourself. Then you started running towards the edge of the lake, and with a strangled cry you threw the necklace with all the force you could muster.

By the time it got swallowed by the icy water, you were crying, tears streaking your face as you watched the ripples on the surface until they ceased. Your lungs were burning, your heart ached, but you did it.

You had said goodbye to Ajax for good.