Home For The Holidays

The price of love

Pairing: Childe x reader(?)

CW: violence, blood, broken bones, unhealthy relationships and mental illness

Synopsis: Childe loves it when you’re angry. There’s nothing better than being beneath you and taking it.

Note: THIS CONTAINS DARK CONTENT. THIS IS DARK CONTENT. I just like this idea. Also not proof read bc I’m too impatient to post.

The deep crack that resonated in the empty room did not phase you. In fact, it didn’t phase Childe either, despite feeling how his nose had broken under your fist. Had it not been for his left eye being swollen shut, he might have been able to see how the blood spewed from his fresh wound. How beautiful it looked while it landed on your skin and seemed to make you even angrier. The simple image had him smiling, but maybe that was simply him going a bit delirious.

“The fuck are you smiling at?” You grumbled, ceasing your attacks, much to his displeasure. Childe felt the beginning of a whine build up in his throat. He was ready to complain and ask (read: beg) you to keep going, before he felt your hands wrap around his throat. “I asked you a fucking question, Tartaglia. Are you not gonna answer?”

You knew damn well how hard it would be for him to reply when you were currently cutting his air supply, and he loved it. His smile widened while his eyes closed (well, only the right one could open and close). In a state of euphoria, Childe could barely remember the fact that you’d possibly choke him to death if he didn’t answer. To be honest, it was the last of his problems.

Because what could possibly be more heavenly than watching you put him back into his place? Than to have you look down at him with those eyes; those eyes with burning fury. Any other man wouldn’t be able to stand it. Any other man would have tried to fight back (in vain). But not Childe. He was smart enough to know this was the epitome of emotion. The climax of your love for him, and his for you. Because time and time again, you’d choose him to bear witness to the feelings you usually bottle up until they explode. Nothing in this world could ever come close to the intimacy this moment held for him.

“I love you.” It came out extremely strained. In fact, if you hadn’t been looking at his mouth when he said it, you probably wouldn’t have understood it at all. Childe’s smile was still spread on his lip, his right eye filled with mirth as he looked at you, practically begging you for more. Something twisted in your stomach; some vile version of affection for the man who would so easily cast his pride aside so that you could take your emotions out of him. And he usually took it so well, too. You almost felt proud of him. And maybe you’d have told him, had your anger not taken such a strong hold of you.

Your fist rose again and Childe’s stomach did flips when he noticed. His expression became a close-lipped smile when he braced himself for impact. This time, he swore you broke his cheekbone.

He loves you so much.

Somebody asked for part two, and yes i shall deliver it to you. Idk how long it'll take so stay tuned lmao

The street performer i met today.

Ft. Akito x Gn!reader.

Cw : usage of the word pretty? Reader Pronoun : They/Them A/N : basically this was the brainrot i had 2 days ago.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

I was supposedly rushing to meet the other since i was 15 minutes late, ena sure takes her time when she's shopping eh? If i diddn't ran away when she wasn't looking i'm gonna be even more later than this.

The street is bustling with people today, i wonder why.

when I almost walked towards the crossing something caught my attention—

"Is this a sound of a guitar?" I tried to listen carefully, trying to figure out where the noise was coming. Hm?

Electric? No... i don't think so. Should i go take a look? Wouldn't i be even more later than now? I peered over to the crowds who seems to be listening to the music.

"Heh listening for a while wouldn't hurt right?" As i walked towards the crowds i could see— oh a solo street performer? Interesting.

I tried to squezze in through the crowd, and does it work? Yes. From here the front i could see the performer.

There they Sat, their finger flicking thru the guitar string gracefully, making a soft melody. I thought i was never a big fan of a song with soft melody like this, but... maybe it could change?..

Their eyes were half lidded making them look sleepy but yet they put on a gentle smile whilst their finger continued on making a melody. So graceful...

Wait... what was i thinking?! Graceful?! Huh?. My mind were telling me to leave, but something or somewhere in my heart was telling me to stay and listen to their performance.

My feet were glued, and my eyes are stuck admiring them and their little melody. I crossed my arms perhaps i were giving up on leaving, if its possible maybe my ears could be smiling while hearing their song right now.

I stood here alongside the crowd for... how long? I was too busy listening to their performance that i missed some phone calls from my friend, i did noticed that my phone was buzzing inside my pocket, but i was just too busy to care.

Times do went on, i realized that their performance was coming to an end.

They hop off slowly from the stool they were sitting and then bowing to the audience politely. "This is it for today, thank you for listening to my performance. I hope i could see everyone again"

Before i know, all the people beside and front of me was clapping, Signaling that the performance was over, and.. snapping me back to reality. "Aw..." I let out a whine alongside a "i should've come earlier."

Just before i left, i took a notice that they were staring at me or... maybe examining? Their eyes do look serious though.

"Ah... aren't you Shinonome Akito from BAD DOGS?, its unusual to see you here, Glad you enjoyed my performance." While they giggle softly and packing their guitar in.

Huh?.. me enjoying their performance?

"I hope i can see you somewhere akito." They said taking off their leave while smiling at me.

I tried to speak and ask for their name, but they were already too far away.

Their smile were so— oh my phone is buzzing again, i should hurry really...

But in honesty their performance was amazing, and their features, how do they make such an amazing music while keeping their composure like that? I said as i too, took my leave.

They were.... Pretty

i wish i could talk to them.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

Bonus lol :

"Evening." I said while entering the weekend garage, i could see kohane, An, And toya also looks like they were waiting for a bit too long eh?

"Where were you?! We were supposed to discuss about our performance by the end of this week! You were the one who suggest it and yet you were late!" An said crossing her arms and sighing.

"I tried to call you akito, but you weren't answering" add toya.

"Even toya got worried" said kohane giggling.

"Yea yea! I know im sorry, its ena! I were stuck shopping with her" i said as i pulled one of the chair wanting to sit down.

"And shinonome why do your face looks a bit flushed? Are you okay?" Kohane said her face plastered with worry.

"I was about to ask that too" An said

My mind recalled to the time where they smiled at me, their smile were so genuine... and pretty.

"Huh?! Wh...– what do you mean im flushed?!" I said not realizing that im trying to cover my... flushed face?

"Ooh~ does the tough guy akito got a crush?" An teases.

"N..– No im not! Just get on with the discussion already!"

"Oh! He do~ Aha!" Said An laughing and so is kohane, even toya is giggling.

Sigh... i guess i need to get used to her teasing again eh?

But, did An just said a.. crush?

Well cough im not that kind of person who falls inlove with someone just met right? Right?!

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

HAAA i swear it isn't supposed to be this long, and it was supposed to be finished yesterday. But headache says no.

A LIFETIME IN REPEAT / kamisato ayato ( genshin impact ) ( WHAT WILL SURVIVE OF US IS LOVE ) a/n: reincarnation au. quote by philip larkin. title from eden - circles. for @yelans spring serenades event w/ the theme being rebirth. thank you for arranging this !!

i. under the cherry blossoms lies love eternal, wistful and tranquil in existence. under the cherry blossoms there is the blooming of flowers in spring reborn, the sun brilliant in her ways as she blesses the earth with warmth once more.

under the cherry blossoms is a promise of tomorrow in the way ayato holds you, bodies pressed closely together, his hands resting on your hips. you sway together, side to side, in temporary respite ; the quickening and slowing of time blurs -- and it doesn't make sense, but it does : the way you could find sanctuary in his arms forever, the way it’s over in the blink of an eye and you find yourselves missing each other all the more.

“relax, love.”

ayato whispers the words softly into your ear and laughs when you tense in response. your cheeks heat up, but you tell yourself it’s from the weather and leave it at that. you’ve never gotten used to his endearing terms and you’re sure he plays it to his advantage.

“i don’t slow dance-- and when were you so romantic, anyway?”

“i’ve always been a romantic at heart,” comes the matter-of-fact answer, though you sense underlying amusement in it, “now, relax. you can always lean on me.”

your lips part with the intention of a ( hopefully ) composed reply, but his smile is all too gentle, so the words fade into oblivion. instead, there is a feeling of happiness that dwells deep within the heart. you let out a sigh of defeat, pretend you didn’t hear him chuckle, wrap your arms around his neck, and lean your head against his chest.

“the flowers are beautiful this season.” you half-heartedly murmur, face still ablaze as you seek distraction elsewhere. ayato knows this, kisses you on the head in quiet comfort. you feel him smile against your skin and you do not think you will ever get tired of the sensation.

“yes, they are.” he says, and somewhere in the tidal waves of the soul, there is a bittersweetness that invokes itself in the thought of a future known. “they are beautiful.”

( under the cherry blossoms is serenity and devotion and everything birthed from love. under the cherry blossoms there are lovers who will grow old and gray together, hand in hand.

under the cherry blossoms, in yet another spring, will lie love eternal after days long passed. in the roots of tomorrow, it will be found again. always again. )

ii. the colors blur, window to window, view by view. the subway hums, floods itself with life as passengers travel to and from, and here you are, gaze distant, vacant. waiting. you live this life now and it’s all you know. it feels weird, empty-- but you think that’s kinda how it goes nowadays : learn what it means to be an adult, or rather, function as one, have a crisis, think you’re taking all the wrong twists & turns, and learn to fake it like everyone else.

it is exhausting. you are exhausted.

you sigh, discontentment transparent on your visage. the subway buzzes again, but all the sounds twist into background noise, automatically blocked out from your senses. you fail to notice the stranger that appears before you until he gets a little too close for comfort-- and that’s when you’re suddenly all too aware of how crowded it is. you try to step back, take maybe half a step, really, and that hardly does much, but he senses your discomfort and offers a wry, apologetic smile.

you know that smile, is your immediate thought, but you don’t get to reflect on it too much before someone shoves him into you. he wraps an arm around you, staggers for a moment before finding stability, and here you are, one hand on his shoulder and the other desperately hanging onto the overhead handle.

“i deeply apologize.” are the first words you hear, and there is something about his voice that soothes the anxiety that brews in your chest. “are you hurt?”

your breath hitches in your throat. your eyes sting suddenly and your vision goes unclear, and that stupid, stupid, lump in your throat is too noticeable and bothersome. this is ridiculous and dramatic, you joke to yourself, and you want to find rationale, reason-- something -- to explain this whirlwind of emotions that sweeps you off your feet.

you nod because that’s all you really can do; you want to say sorry when you see concern adorn his features, but he smiles, he smiles and you’ve seen it before, somehow, and you think you are crying now.

“‘m okay.” you whisper. “i’m okay. thank you.”

“you’re welcome.”

the subway hums again. longing fills your heart. you want to know why.

the stranger clears his throat, lets go of you, and you stand before each other in silence.

“my name is ayato.” he tells you. he offers you a handkerchief. “i believe we’ve met before.”

tears trail down your face. it is three in the afternoon. you are on the subway with a stranger. you do not remember something you should.

“i don’t remember you.”

ayato’s smile almost falters, but he is used to masking such emotions, so he maintains it ever so perfectly, hoping that you will not feel guilt for something that is not in your control.

( you don’t remember him. that’s okay, he thinks. he will wait for you until the end of time. it’s okay, even if it hurts. )

iii. with an aching heart made of uncertainty, you fall asleep to peaceful dreams that night. it takes place in a regal estate, splendid and grand in its decor. you wonder how you find yourself in such a setting. it’s busy-- chaotic and calm at the same time, moving constantly at a steady pace as voices and faces flood the halls. you recognize these voices, hear yourself among them.

the faces are blurred. all of them.

this is where you belong. these are days you’ve experienced before ; nostalgia lines itself in the hollows of your ribs, wraps its knowing around your lungs. you have lived and breathed this life.

you can’t remember.

you wake up. the ache grows deeper, burrows itself in fragile heartstrings. you fall back asleep, vision engulfed in pink hues of cherry blossoms and ayato’s name lingering on your tongue.

iv. you don’t remember anything, not really. you know you dreamt of something strange and significant and it bothers you, horribly so-- but these things will come in time, you suppose. so you move on with your day, hope you can find solace in falling back to your daily routine.

you enter the cafe, inhaling deeply when the aroma of coffee overloads your senses. there’s comfort to be found in the little things, you remind yourself, ordering your regular drink. it’s not long before you’ve settled into the corner of the cafe, set up your laptop and stationary. your focus goes into your work for an hour or two-- maybe longer-- until you see a familiar face before you again.

“what a coincidence.” ayato muses, curiosity in purple eyes. “i did not expect to see you here.”

you stare at each other in silence for a moment-- you, more so out of shock, ayato, truthfully, in amusement at such a reaction to his presence.

“you must have missed me, finding me already.” comes your response, a forced lightheartedness in your voice meant to disperse the tension in your body.

“i did, in fact. may i sit with you?”

you almost want to think he’s joking with you, but the way he looks at you is too tender, too knowing, and somehow, it breaks your heart.

( ayato spends hours with you at that cafe. it feels like home, feels right. feels like something is missing and it shouldn’t be. )

v. you don’t ask ayato what he meant back then, where he recognized you or how he recognized you. you didn’t ask when you first met on the subway, didn’t ask at the coffee shop, didn’t ask during any single encounter you’ve had in these past few months.

you are frightened of the unknown, and perhaps you are a coward for that.

( because you want to know, but there’s something in the nagging feeling you carry that makes you want to run away from all of this. but you don’t because you know you shouldn’t. because in all the time you have spent with him since that fated meeting, maybe there is a place in your heart for him that grows larger and larger and maybe that scares you. )

you walk along the quiet streets, side by side with ayato. the storm has long passed, puddles of water reflecting gloomy skies. it is nearing the end of fall but the weather does not let up, always unpredictable in its path.

“i enjoy the rain when i am aware of its incoming presence.” ayato mumbles, gaze cast upwards at the clouds.

“you don’t like getting caught up in it and getting your beautiful hair ruined?”

“i don’t.” he laughs at your teasing tone. “you find my hair beautiful?”

“i do.”

“how generous of you.” he hums, and there’s an extra little skip in his step now. “i find you beautiful, as well.”

your face gets hot. how embarrassing.

“so romantic.” you mumble, clearing your throat. you can’t help but feel familiarity in such exchanges. “what’s your favorite season, anyway?”

ayato’s gait comes to a standstill. you pause, watch as a sorrowful and hopeful smile rests on the curve of his lips. he glances up at the sky once more before he looks at you, his hand brushing against the back of yours.

“i have always been fond of spring.”

“why’s that?”

you don’t move your hand away. he notices this, remains cautious, gentle, and laces his fingers with yours. it’s warm, comforting.

“it reminds me of someone i love.”

you freeze, see the way ayato looks at you-- like there’s something more, like he has known you in a life past-- and you want to speak, but nothing can register or come to mind.

the rain pours again, but neither of you move.

“you told me that we’ve met before.” your voice quivers. “so why don’t i remember you? i know you. i dreamt about you once, i think. i don’t know. why don’t i know? where have we met? what do you know?”

panic arises with each word spoken. you’re crying again, just like you did the first time you met. you feel like an idiot, your chest tightening with anxiety. ayato squeezes your hand. it would be so easy to tell you everything, to bring the memories back all at once. but such things take time, he kindly reminds himself, so he will wait until it all comes back.

“you’re not going to tell me.” you whisper. he shakes his head, places an umbrella over your heads. “then tell me this: the person you love-- is it me? and did i love you once, before?”

ayato smiles, just as he always does, and the tears run rampant.

( you both know the answer already. you know this, don’t you? )

vi. you dream again that night. it’s a different dream, but almost the same-- the hustle and bustle surrounds you, overwhelms you. you’re not entirely familiar with this environment yet. you only know some of the voices-- a bright, cheerful one that always seems to bring a smile to your face. a soothing one that always brings reassurance. you hear a bark and playful laughter, and in your heart there is relief.

you’ve done this before.

“daydreaming again?”

you recognize that voice. you are quick to turn on your heel, though reluctance fills the corners of your mind. you are afraid the faces will be hidden again, obscure just like last time, but they are not.

ayato stands before you, almost entirely the same with exception of attire. maybe you are daydreaming-- this is a dream, after all, and the boundaries between what is real and what is not are too chaotic to distinguish. but that doesn’t stop you from hoping, from thinking this could be what you were trying to remember after all. in the realization of such, you cry again. you cry again and again because you hope that this is it, that it’s not just a dream, that you’ve finally come to understand ayato’s words and what that emptiness meant.

“what is it? what’s wrong?” ayato asks, dabbing the tears away with a handkerchief. you know that one, recall it from the subway.

“nothing’s wrong.” you laugh in disbelief, shake your head as his thumb grazes over your cheek. “i’m okay. we’re okay.”

( you wake up the next morning. you remember it all. )

vii. it is spring now. you have not seen him in a long while-- perhaps out of avoidance or a clash in schedules, neither of you are sure. you weren’t ready to tell him once you awoke from that dream, more so because you couldn’t comprehend it all-- thoma, ayaka, ayato--

you spent a lifetime with him before. you were married to him and you loved him. you danced under the cherry blossoms on the first day of spring and you told him you didn’t slow dance, that you weren’t good at it, but he didn’t care, as long as he could hold you close.

you sit on the park bench with him now, quiet. children play in the distance, their laughter filling the silence that rests heavily in the air. your hands wring nervously in your lap, words unspoken lodged in your throat. you want to tell him, but you don’t know how. you want to tell him that you know, and you’re almost sure he knows this, too.

“have you been well? it’s been awhile.”

he starts off slowly, treads carefully on thin ice.

“i’ve been...thinking. i dreamt about you again.”

“oh?”

“i cried a lot in the dream.”

“you do that often in reality, too.”

you laugh for the first time that day, feeling your body relax against the bench. your hand rests at your side now, brushes against ayato’s. wanting. waiting. hoping.

the cherry blossoms are in bloom now, the wind casting the petals along the sky. they fall gently, gracefully, and it reminds you both of that day.

they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” ayato asks, taking note of the closed distance between you two. he swallows hard, curious as to why he hesitates now- because maybe you truly do remember now, and maybe this is the moment he’s been waiting for all this time-- the reunion of two lovers. his hand finds yours. you do not pull away.

“they always have been.” you smile faintly, intertwining your fingers. you ignore the way your voice trembles and you hope he does, too. you inhale deeply, close your eyes. “can i lean on you, ayato?”

you know. you have to, he thinks, and he cannot help the surprise that appears in purple hues. you look at him, countenance riddled with apprehension, and there’s that familiar curl of the lips you have seen many times before. he nods in confirmation, so you rest your head on his shoulder.

pink petals fall onto your laps-- delicate, loved, and seen.

“i remember you.” you whisper. the wind almost drowns out the words, but his grip on your hand tightens. “i remember our life back then-- being married, spending time in the garden when it was the beginning of spring. i-- i took so long ayato. i took so long to remember you.”

in your voice there is regret, but in his eyes there is understanding. you want to apologize, but you know he would tell you there is no need for such things.

“i knew you would, in time. i would have waited for you, nonetheless.”

ah. you’re going to start crying again. you laugh when he pulls out that handkerchief again, but when the tears come, he kisses them away ever so gently before murmuring words of comfort. his arms wrap around you, hold reassuring and filled with ardor.

“i missed you.” you whisper against his lips, and how lovely it is to feel him smile against them once more. “i love you.”

“i love you, too.” he tells you, once, twice, a million times-- as many as he needs to until it is known. “i will love and find you in every lifetime, my love.”

( under the cherry blossoms is rebirth and reinvigoration of life. under the cherry blossoms, there is love lost and love found.

under the cherry blossoms, there is you and the one you love, reunited at last. )

[ 𝟏:𝟓𝟕 𝐀𝐌 ] — 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐈 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐀

it’s cold.

that’s the first thing kisaki thinks when he wakes up, eyebrows furrowing when the bed is empty and devoid of you and your usual warmth beside him. sitting up, he groans as he stretches his muscles out, hastily climbing out to find you. he tries to convince himself not to panic.

the bathroom lights are off—he notes all your things are thankfully still there—and so are the hallway lights, and so are the living room lights, but the kitchen seems to be lit. sighing, he walks in, watching from the entrance as you sit at the table, swirling a cup of tea around in your mug glumly.

“you should be in bed,” he says dryly. you don’t even blink, staring off ahead.

“what’s it to you?” you scowl. he grits his teeth, eyes narrowing as they stare down at you. it’s scrutinizing—everything seems to be when it comes to kisaki. he’s always got something to say, and it’s grown tiring for you.

“watch it,” he warns, making you roll your eyes. staring up at him, there’s a small pool of tears at the corner of your eyes, and his anger slowly ebbs away. for the first time, he takes in how hallow your eyes seem and how disappointed you are. and he feels himself fearing your withdrawal from him—the rejection seems unbearable if it comes from you.

“you go back to bed,” you wave off. “i’ll come in a bit.” you try to hide the shakiness of your voice, but he catches it immediately. and as scrutinizing as kisaki can be, as nit-picky to every detail as he can seem, as hard to please and even harder to decipher as he is, he’s always known exactly what you needed and exactly what to do.

“won’t be able to fall asleep,” he mutters quietly, sitting beside you at the table. he snatches your mug from your hand, taking a long sip of your tea.

“tetta, seriously?” you groan. his lips curl into a smirk, the mug meeting his lips again as he finishes the contents in one large gulp. you should kill him, you think, he’s gotten away with enough anyway.

but his smile is pretty, and the messy bed hair that frames his face is prettier. it makes you smile despite yourself.

“i see you grinning, dumbass,” he says cooly. “you’re not mad.” reaching over, you take the mug from him, giving his shoulder a good shove in the process. it’s halfhearted and it wouldn’t do anything, but he leans his body to the side anyway, his theatrics giving you the satisfaction of seeing him lose his balance slightly.

“i won’t forget the things you said to me,” you whisper. the words underneath are clear. they’ve left a scar. his heart cracks a little, and he wonders if you’ve realized you have the power to batter it until it’s weak. it wouldn’t be hard—one foot out the door and kisaki’s lost all that makes him a man, but he hopes it doesn’t come to that.

“they weren’t true,” he mumbles. “nothing i said was true.” his hair falls onto his eyes, and even though you’re mad, and hurt, and incredibly tired, you find it second nature to reach forward and brush the strands out of his face.

he immediately presses his own palm to the back of your hand, holding it in place and leaning his face into it. and it’s rare to see a small bit of vulnerability from kisaki, to see him so openly hint that he wants—that he needs an ounce of affection, but you know he craves it, and he’s lost without it on most days.

so, with a sigh, you brush your thumb over his cheek, shaking your head at how soft you are for him. loving him’s not easy, but perhaps that’s why you do it. the difficult tasks are always the most rewarding ones in the end.

“tetta—”

“baby,” he corrects. a small grin etches across your lips.

“how about gumdrop?”

“don’t push it,” he purses his lips, and you laugh. and it’s beautiful, he thinks, the soft glow of your face as the dimly lit kitchen illuminates your skin. your head thrown back in your laughing fit sends waves that crash over his heart. he’s casted away from everything else for a moment, all he can focus on being you. and he’s not mad, couldn’t ever be.

“okay, fine,” you agree. the smile on your face slowly falters, but his grip on your hand doesn’t. “baby, i’m just…i can’t deal with the things you say sometimes,” you whisper. “i’m not cut out for this,” you admit.

“you don’t have to be,” he soothes. “i’m working on it. i won’t say things like that anymore,” he promises. and it’s hard to tell if it’s the truth or not, but he sounds determined. and kisaki’s never given a reason not to believe him, he’s always gone great lengths to give you what he promises. so, with a shaky sigh, you lean into his embrace, hearing the beating of his heart in his chest. it’s the same heartbeat that soothes you to sleep each night and matches the rhythm of yours. he kisses the crown of your head, and nothing has ever made him feel as whole and seen and complete as the feel of your skin against his.

“promise?” you whisper.

“yeah, whatever. i promise,” he mumbles. pulling away, you cup his cheeks, taking in the sleep that’s still laced in his eyes, smiling gently at the sight. kissing his nose, then his cheeks, then finally, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips, you stroke your fingers through his hair as he leans into your palm.

“okay,” you nod. he glances at you expectantly. “what?”

“and…?”

“and…?” you tease.

“say it,” he glares. rolling your eyes, you hug his waist, feeling his hand rub over the small of your back.

“i love you,” you murmur. and with an equally as demanding tone, you add, “say it back.”

and it’s his turn to roll his eyes as he mumbles “i love you too.”

“ⓘ Reblog if you’re bisexual, gay, lesbian, asexual, pansexual, transgender or a supporter.”

—

your big brother kazuha hcs were so cute 😭 i was wondering if you could also do hcs for either kaeya and diluc as big brothers

autophobia.

# — characters: gender neutral reader, kaeya, diluc, crepus

# — summary: “in family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” –friedrich nietzsche

# — warnings: mentions of death, fighting, panic attacks, anxiety

# — tags: hc/drabble format, slight canon divergence, hurt/comfort, LOTS of fluff, but also LOTS of angst, found family, implied (romantic) albedo x reader

# — notes: i know you liked the kazuha one because it was cute but because this concept with kaeya and diluc specifically actually crosses my mind a lot.. like a LOT a lot, this is a long one, so buckle up! as always, reblogs and reactions are appreciated, and i really really hope you enjoy!

# — tag list: @marius-z @the-gayest-sky-kid @kkiryus @keiq0 @favonious-captain

wanna join the tag list?

✧ — ❄ +🔥 — ✧

so i'm assuming you meant diluc and kaeya separately, buuuut... it's hard to put them separate when they are brother, though they behave otherwise

so let's say, for the sake of this post, you are their adopted younger sibling!

crepus took you in along with kaeya since you two were abandoned in the same place at the same time

however, you two were abandoned by completely different people, so no, you have no ties to khaenri'ah

(but, if you want smth that's like.. kaeya and the reader being sibling spies for khaenri'ah, i can make a whole 'nother post. i digress.)

as children...

you three were inseparable

kaeya and diluc bonded well to begin with, but with you added to the mixture, they may as well have been joined at the hip

diluc is the oldest amongst the three of you, and sort of gets saddled with caring for you and kaeya in subtle ways, even if crepus is present in your lives

he's kind of like the "leader" if that makes sense? he's fine with you and kaeya having opinions or dictating what activities you do for the day

but neither you nor kaeya can refuse diluc whenever he asks for something or makes a demand

(he will deny, as an adult, that he ever made demands as a boy. it's true that he didn't, but you and kaeya will sometimes tease him about it anyways.)

"kaeya, can you stop spinning them around like that? you two might break something and dad would have a heart attack if either of you got hurt." a young diluc peers over the top of his book at you and kaeya, who have been horsing around while he reads something about knighthood.

he's been taking his studies seriously these days in order to fulfill your father's dreams of becoming an esteemed knight of favonius. since crepus couldn't do it himself, diluc took it upon himself to do it in his stead. he's an overachiever in every sense of the word, and you thought he was the coolest brother in all of teyvat.

kaeya sets you down on the ground gently. "yes sir!" he salutes his brother, snickering when you copy his actions.

diluc snorts and rolls his eyes. "that's not even how the knights salute, kaeya. you'd know that if you studied more."

kaeya scrunches his nose. "hey, i take my studies very seriously, thank you very much. i just gotta make time for my siblings, unlike some people." he leans over and uses your head as an arm rest, not budging when you try to shake him off. "it's called time management, diluc. look it up."

your brothers bickered like this rather often, but there was never any bite to their words. you could always see them fighting back smiles as they went back and forth, trying to keep the upper hand on the other. a lot of the time, you were caught in the crossfire, be it physically or verbally. you didn't mind much, but sometimes they would get annoying.

you manage to shove kaeya's arm off your head. "for the record, neither of you are good at managing your time." you grumble. "diluc studies too much and kaeya studies too little."

"what, are you supposed to be goldilocks, then?" diluc closes his book, smirking at you. "are you supposed to be the perfect kid?"

you cross your arms over your chest. "well, duh. i studied for a little while today, and i'm playing with kaeya now. i'll study some more later. that's how you do it."

your brothers share a look of defeat and then turn their eyes back to you. kaeya ruffles your hair. "ah, our youngest is growing up so fast," he muses, "soon, they'll be the grand master of the knights and we'll have to follow their every command."

you sputter and try to push kaeya off of you again. when you fail, your struggling turns into an all-out wrestling match, with kaeya beating you in record time thanks to his longer limbs. "on second thought," your brother pants, "maybe i'd make a better grand master? what do you think, diluc?"

"sure, kaeya." diluc answers dismissively. "you'd be the greatest."

it's a respect thing, mostly.

never once has diluc lorded his title as eldest over the two of you, so you and kaeya came to respect and love him naturally.

diluc takes after crepus in more than just appearance.

even as kids, he was mature and responsible, but still maintained his boyish behaviors whenever you or kaeya were involved.

he's the older brother you ran to during stormy nights, since you knew for a fact that he would be awake anyways.

he's the older brother you went to for silent comfort

if you had a nightmare, diluc was the brother you went to.

(kaeya can pout about it all he wants.)

if you wanted to cry, diluc was the brother who would hug you silently until you've let it all out. he won't ask questions or push you for answers; he'll just sit there and be your rock.

i suppose in a literal sense, he's the warmth of your childhood. diluc is the sturdy, resilient, ever-burning flame that you use for comfort in times of need.

also, don't tell anyone, but diluc was definitely a hugger. a HUGE teddy bear.

kaeya was definitely the more tactile sibling

but if you denied diluc a hug or went to kaeya instead of him, he'd get all mopey and then deny it until you cuddled with him.

"you were pouting earlier."

"i don't pout. can you get out my room?"

you giggle. "i came to give you a hug, since i didn't give you one earlier."

diluc sits up with a groan, his hair wild. "is that why you're here at..." he peeks at the clock on the wall. "two in the morning?"

he sounds exhausted, but you can tell he's not going to reject you. he never does. you don't say anything -- you just stand there and wait for diluc to ask for what he clearly wants.

"you're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"

you nod.

diluc sighs and scoots over in his bed. "get over here, you brat. i'm sleepy." when you climb in beside him, he tosses the comforter over you and hugs you close. he smells like cinnamon and you sigh contently. "can't believe you woke me up for this." he grumbles.

you snicker. "love you too, 'luc."

"whatever."

as the resident middle child, kaeya took it upon himself to balance being a big brother and a little brother all at once

i know it may sound easy to people without siblings, and maybe even some actual middle children may say that it's not that hard

but middle child syndrome is very real, and when you step back and think about it, it's really hard when you're kind of overshadowed by your older and younger siblings.

he doesn't feel any sort of negative way about it, but kaeya is a smart boy -- he knows that he put himself in a difficult position by behaving the way he does

he babies you, even though the age gap between you two isn't very large.

kaeya is the older brother who seeks you out instead of the other way around.

and for some reason he never makes noise when he moves?

(is it related to his mission? find out next time on the next episode dragon ball z)

it's something he LOVES using to his advantage, by the way.

"shit!"

kaeya makes an accusatory noise. "what would father say if he heard you say something like that?" he leans on the doorway, a playful smirk on his lips. "did i really scare you that badly?"

you clutch at your chest in an attempt to slow your racing heart. "would it kill you to make a little noise when you move? for barbatos' sake, i could have died just now."

kaeya's expression falters for a moment, but he glosses it over so quickly, you think you may have seen incorrectly. "dramatic as always. anyways," he extends a hand out for you to take, "our dearest older brother is heading into the city and wants us to come with."

"it's not a request, is it," you ask, taking your brother's hand. you roll your eyes when kaeya tells you that no, diluc actually did ask. but because neither you nor kaeya can say no to him, you two were already going along. "figured as much." you sigh.

i'd like to think that by the time kaeya was in his late teens, he had adopted a particular manner of speech

specifically, the one he uses as an adult

it's corny to you, but you secretly think it makes him even cooler than he already is

because kaeya is exactly the kind of cool protagonist-like boy you read about in stories

he's always had his eye covered ever since you two met, and he's always carried himself with grace

now that you're an adult who knows of his past, it makes sense

but little you just wanted to be like their big brother

and honestly, kaeya did what he could to mold you in his image

not to say he told you his secrets, but whenever he saw his habits in you, it made his heart break and swell at the same time

truly, the most painful parts of his childhood was realizing how much he loved you and diluc

"...why are you wearing an eyepatch?" diluc raises a brow at you. "is there a secret costume party in the mansion that i don't know about or something?"

just as you're about to explain why you're wearing it, kaeya comes stumbling into the room, his hand covering his right eye. "there you are!" he yells.

diluc snorts so loud he has to cover his mouth. so that's why you had an eyepatch on -- you took it from kaeya. from the frantic look in his eye, diluc thinks you may have just taken it off of kaeya in his sleep or something.

you shriek and duck behind diluc, who's failing at masking his laughter. "don't hurt me!" you yell from behind your brother. "i just thought it looked cool!"

kaeya growls. "then you should have just asked to try it on, you dirty thief! who takes shit off someone's face like that?!"

diluc actually barks out a laugh and kaeya fixes him with a glare capable of freezing over anything. "sorry, sorry." he tries to apologize as he makes a face in an attempt to school his expression. "it's not funny, i'm sorry."

"you're still smiling." kaeya deadpans.

"to be fair," diluc snickers, "you've got sticky fingers as well."

it's true; kaeya definitely has a habit of taking the belongings of others -- yours in particular, actually -- and hiding them in the most absurd places. he must have never thought someone would return the favor like this. he sighs, the fight and frustration leaving him.

now that he's looking at you from behind diluc, kaeya can't help but feel proud of the fact that you're acting like him. it was an amateur heist on your part, but with some more practice, you could be just like him someday. he sighs fondly at the thought of it.

"fine, you got me." he concedes. "but can you give it back now? i kinda need that."

kaeya will forever be grateful to have you and diluc as siblings, because even though you were all young and curious, neither of you asked why he wore an eyepatch -- or at the very least why he worked so hard to keep it hidden from view. you step out from behind diluc, the cloth still over your eye, and kaeya feels his heart stop for just a moment. he loves you so dearly, his precious little sibling, but...

remember your purpose, something hisses at him. don't get too attached.

it's too late for that, he thinks. kaeya hold out his other hand, thanking you when you place the eyepatch in his hand. "don't do that again, yeah?" he says softly.

surprisingly, kaeya's gentle tone makes you feel scolded -- mostly because he doesn't speak like that often. you duck your head and murmur an apology.

"hey." kaeya flicks your forehead. he's wearing his eyepatch again, and that warm, brotherly smile that makes you feel safe. "it's okay. i'm not mad at you; never have been, never will be. it's okay."

you nod shyly. if kaeya says it's okay, you think, then surely, everything will be as he says.

to you, kaeya was the brother that helped you with everything

for example:

while diluc helped you master your swordsmanship, it was kaeya who taught you the basics

from stances to defensive maneuvers, kaeya covered everything

he even taught you the basics of other weapons as well -- somehow he was adept with all of them, and he didn't hesitate to share his knowledge with you

it's kaeya who uses you as an arm rest and uses his height to keep things away from you

it's kaeya who steals from your plate when you aren't looking

it's kaeya who teaches you how to swear

but it's also kaeya who stays up all night whenever you say you feel unsafe

it's kaeya who doesn't judge you when you ask him to check under your bed or in your closet for intruders or hilichurls

it's kaeya who shares everything with you and diluc

it's kaeya who helps you catch and bottle crystalflies in the vineyard during sleepless nights.

it's kaeya who braids crystalflies into your hair, and let's you do the same to his as gets longer.

(it's also kaeya who manages to rope diluc into these crystalfly braiding sessions.)

it's kaeya who comes to you when he's having a bad day -- kaeya who asks you to just hold his hand and say nothing while he calms down

"having another moment?" you ask quietly. you were in the middle of painting something for adelinde's birthday when kaeya suddenly walked in and sat beside you, dropping his head on your shoulder.

you never knew what it was that tormented him so much. you hated whatever it was that turned your brother into a shadow of himself, but no matter how much you wanted to fix all of his problems, you couldn't. kaeya wouldn't talk about it, and you knew better than to pry.

so, you did what you could.

kaeya nods silently. you can feel him shaking ever so slightly. you move to put the paintbrush down so you can hug him, but he shakes his head.

"don't mind me," he chuckles despite himself. he sounds fine, but you know better. he takes your free hand in his, tangling your fingers together. "do what you're doing. i'll be fine soon."

every time. every single time kaeya has his moments, he pretends like it's nothing or like it's bothering someone. you have to swallow back the comforting words.

kaeya's always preferred physical comfort, anyhow.

you give his hand a light squeeze and keep painting. "remember the breathing exercise diluc taught you." you murmur. when you feel kaeya nod again, you hum.

your brother dozes off on your shoulder after half an hour. at least he's calm for now. you glance down at your fingers.

even in his sleep, his grip is still tight.

so... what changed?

you all know what happened the day crepus died.

if you don't, allow me to paraphrase:

when your father died, your brothers' respective personalities took a hard left.

diluc, having watched crepus' life come to an end right before his eyes, became vengeful after the knights of favonius instructed him to hide the truth.

as for kaeya, it was as if all of the traits that you admired so much in him became amplified in all the wrong ways.

you always knew he was keeping a part of himself locked away, but you didn't realize just how much until he came clean about it.

and you... well.

kaeya and diluc weren't the only ones to receive their visions that night.

but, for the sake of brevity (and accuracy), allow me to share some of kaeya's lore with you:

and this is verbatim, mind you.

"if khaenri'ah and mondstadt went to war, which side should he support? to whom should he offer his assistance: his birth father, who had ruthlessly abandoned him? or his adoptive father, who loved him and raised him?

"for the longest time, kaeya had agonized over these impossible questions, caught between the opposing demands of loyalty and duty, faced with an impossible choice between truth and happiness.

"but now, crepus' death upset this delicate balance. he felt liberated, but also ashamed of how selfishly he was responding.

"as an adopted son, he should have saved crepus, but he had arrived moments too late. as a brother, he should have shared in diluc's grief, and yet as their father lay dying on the ground he had hung back behind his brother, that ancient plot running through his mind."

- kaeya's vision lore.

so where do you fit into all of this?

you were somewhat like kaeya -- a child ruthlessly abandoned by their parents during a stormy night to fend for themself

unlike your brother however, you had no internal strife. you had no attachment to a destroyed nation -- no questions of loyalty to follow through your adolescent years into early adulthood.

you were just... you. another grieving child of the ragnvindr family.

but because you weren't like kaeya -- because all you knew was the dawn winery, diluc, kaeya, and crepus -- it might have been you who felt the fight between your brothers the most

you shouldered most of the pain from their separation, probably even more so than your brothers would ever admit out loud

because they were your only family. you may have been too young to understand the concept of abandonment when it happened, but as you grew older, the fear only grew with you

you fought so hard to keep your brothers and father close to you -- to keep your family intact

what you fear most isn't hilichurls or abyss mages or even the fatui

it's abandonment.

i'm sure you've asked this at some point, but what does the title of this request even mean?

autophobia (n.) - the fear of being alone.

your knowledge of khaenri'ah isn't very expansive.

all you know of the fallen nation is what's been taught to you through history books, but even then, there wasn't much to cover. as kaeya speaks, you try to remember all that you could from your history lessons as quickly as you can.

khaenri'ah, as you recall, was godless nation. not because they were abandoned by one, but because they had no need for one. the nation was thrown into ruin by monsters and gods alike, and as far as you knew, there was nothing left of it.

so, at first, you reach out to kaeya to comfort him for his loss. he's lost so much in his life, hasn't he? but as you're reaching for his arm, he jerks away from you, regret and shame pooling in his eyes. "kaeya..?" you whisper brokenly.

your brother's expression is pained as he tells his story to you and diluc.

none of it makes sense to you. you can't seem to wrap your head around the idea that your brother was sent to destroy mondstadt from the inside out. he would never do that -- he couldn't. as tough as he seemed, kaeya was just a big ball of fluff on the inside. the boy you grew up with wasn't capable of being a--

"traitor." diluc's voice is hoarse and low, coming out as a growl. you snap your eyes over to your brother, glaring at him to shut him up, but he pays you no mind. he looks furious enough to kill, and all three of you can feel the hostility that rolls off of him in waves.

kaeya doesn't help the situation as he opts to provoke diluc. gone is the remorse he once had written all over his face; in its place is a false sense of amusement. you'd think he was seriously enjoying diluc's anger if you didn't know him any better. kaeya shrugs nonchalantly. "if that's what you wanna call me, so be it." he says.

diluc's hackles rise and you instinctively place yourself between your brothers. "you lied to us," he seethes, "for decades, you've been lying! to me, to our family, to-- to mondstadt!"

kaeya has the gall to chuckle. you feel diluc surge forward, but you force him back. "honestly," he tsks, "our poor father is dead and that's what's got you upset? you really do take your job as cavalry captain seriously, don't you?"

you feel your jaw drop. this entire time, you've been trying to convince yourself that this conversation wasn't actually happening -- that kaeya was just playing a really poorly timed joke to lift your spirits. but the longer it goes on and the angrier diluc gets, the more it sinks in that this... this isn't a joke.

your father wasn't the only one to die that stormy night.

diluc shoves you to the side seemingly with all his strength as he lunges for kaeya, his weapon materializing his hands. you crash into the wall hard, but when you groan, disoriented by the impact, neither of your brothers stop to help you. you're strong enough to handle pain like that on your own, but kaeya and diluc vowed to never harm you -- or each other -- on purpose many years ago.

you're forced to watch as the vow dissolves into nothingness as diluc stabs the floor where kaeya had fallen.

"is that the best you've got, captain?!" kaeya taunts. he's light on his feet and his eyepatch is missing, allowing you and diluc to see what he's been hiding since he was a boy. his right eye glows an ethereal shade of yellow in the dim lighting of the hallway. he looks unhinged and hysterical, a wild, carefree grin marring his once gentle features. "you won't be able to stop me like that!"

"stop it!" you scream. "please, don't do this!" the words come out so loud, they manage to rip your throat raw in an instant. your brothers pay you no mind as they mercilessly attack each other; if someone didn't know they were brothers, they'd think they were fighting to the death. belatedly, you realize that they are.

"we took you in," diluc shouts as he parries kaeya's blade, "fed you, cared for you, loved you, only for you to stab us in the back?!"

"to be fair," kaeya grunts in response, "i haven't stabbed you in the back just yet. stay still, though, and i will."

you watch helplessly from the side as your family crumbles before your eyes. you give up on trying to stop your brothers. in terms of strength, they've got you beat; if you were to try to insert yourself in this battle, they'd likely do more than just injure you. the very thought of them accidentally killing you instead of each other makes you gag.

your childhood shatters with every clash of the swords that you hear. with every clang, another part of your relationships dies. all at once, your lungs stop functioning. you can't breathe -- it's as though someone is stepping on your chest with no intent of letting up. your stomach is about ready to rid itself of its contents as one thought becomes clear.

you're going to be left all alone again. left to fend for yourself in the same storm you were abandoned in all those years ago.

suddenly, a searing heat and a biting chill overtakes your senses, forcing you to take a deep breath. the shock of the temperature change makes you look back at kaeya and diluc, whose weapons are now encased in cryo and pyro elemental energies respectively.

you're struck with a sinking feeling of dread as their swords press against each other with diluc's flaming claymore starting to overtake kaeya's broadsword. kaeya's fingers are slowly being frosted over as his elemental energy spirals out of control, and you see diluc's hands starting to blister and peel with the heat of his pyro.

at this rate, they're likely going to kill themselves.

you're on your feet and holding your own weapon before you can even stop and contemplate the consequences. you understand that diluc and kaeya have you beat in terms of strength.

but your strength, however, comes from your speed.

your brothers are blown off their feet in opposite directions with the force of your slash. the three of you remain motionless for a moment, each of you panting with exertion and emotion. you stare down at your trembling hands, amazed by the power you had, and nearly faint at the sight of an anemo vision resting comfortably in your palm.

you'll process this later, you decide. right now, your brothers were more important.

"enough!" you cry. "that's fucking enough!"

diluc scowls at you, but it's weak. he must be exhausted from having burnt out so much energy so quickly due to the vision activating on its own. "you heard that asshole," he growls at you. "he would've killed us all a long time ago! and now you're stopping me from killing him?"

"the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius doesn't kill people, diluc." your words are punctuated by embarrassing sobs, but you don't care. "especially not their siblings. can we just--"

diluc spits out some blood, interrupting you. "if you're going to stand here and preach to me the value of a family that no longer exists," he pushes himself to his feet with the help of his weapon, "then we're done here."

"diluc fucking ragnvindr, don't you dare walk away from this." you try to threaten him, but it doesn't work. diluc starts walking and you swing your sword in his direction, leaving a clean slice in the wall he was leaving on. your anemo energy is unstable and volatile, but you have enough control over it to use it at will. you hate that that is what gets your brother to stop and listen to you.

"look," you pant, "we're all hurt in more ways than one. c-can we just... i don't know... try to heal together? please, i-- diluc, you never explained what happened to father, a-and," you turn to kaeya with tears on your cheeks, "you were there. you never explained either! why?!"

for a second -- for just a split second -- you see the kaeya you grew up with. "i..." kaeya catches himself, ridding himself of any vulnerabilities. his face darkens, and your stomach twists at the sight of this stranger wearing your brother's face.

"i don't owe you any more explanations." he says. he jumps to his feet with ease, but it's obvious that he's in excruciating pain. "i told you everything you needed to know. do with that information what you will." kaeya's voice is so distant.

on the other side of the hallway, diluc glares murderous daggers at kaeya. "i'll handle you someday. mark my fucking words."

you don't think you can take much more of this. "diluc," you try, "we're siblings! could you just--"

"i have no siblings."

you go completely still. every part of your body halts and stumbles as it tries to start again. you let your weapon dissolve as your lips begin to tremble. "w-what?"

"are you deaf?" diluc's crimson eyes burn right through you. this isn't the man you grew up with. you're not sure who you're looking at. "i said i have no siblings." he groans as he stumbles away. "whatever. i need to prepare for my father's funeral."

you don't put up a fight as you watch diluc hobble away. you turn to kaeya, still unsure if you heard correctly. maybe you were so overloaded that you were having auditory hallucinations. "k-kaeya," you stammer desperately. you don't even know what to say to him. "please."

the last glimmer of hope is extinguished as kaeya turns on his heel and walks away without a word.

for the second time in your life, you are abandoned.

this time, though, you know you will never forget it.

so... what happened? what now?

diluc buried himself in work and set off to travel the nations in search of answers for crepus' death

and a few years after that... well, we all know the tale of mondstadt's beloved "darknight hero".

you ran away from home about two days after the fight, joining the adventurer's guild and wandering the nations at a leisurely pace

which meant that diluc had the dawn winery to himself.

kaeya went on to become cavalry captain of the knights of favonius. diluc never did rat him out.

he's notorious for his reckless, yet clever and cunning behavior, his charm, and his super high alcohol tolerance

you make a point to avoid the city of mondstadt at all costs. there's no point.

there's nothing there for you anyways.

but the story doesn't exactly end there.

things don't get better as the years go by, but your brothers do mature.

they're... cordial with each other. sort of. enough so that they can hold conversations with each other, even if they do escalate into super passive aggressive arguments

they each hold enough regret to fill an ocean about the night you all separated.

kaeya is less conflicted about his choice between mondstadt and khaenri'ah, but he wishes he chose a better time to say it all.

he regrets brushing you off when you tried to unify them when you needed each other the most.

diluc lies awake at night thinking about how crushed you looked when he denied having siblings at all. your face haunts him well into his adult years.

he wishes he had listened to you -- if only he just listened.

as for you... you don't hate them.

at least you don't think you do. you haven't seen your...

you haven't seen kaeya or diluc in years. you don't know how you'll act if you ever come across them again.

you've mastered your vision and perfected a style of swordsmanship that you created based off of what kaeya and diluc taught you all those years ago

maybe someday, you'll be able to show them how much you've grown.

you wonder if they'll be proud of you the way they used to be.

will you ever see each other again?

inevitably, all roads lead back home.

after completing a difficult bounty in dragonspine, you make your way into the city of mondstadt for some much needed rest and relaxtion without much thought. it's a lot more... desolate than you remenber it to be. perhaps the quiet will do you some good; you just want to relax for a while, anyways.

after collecting your rewards and locating an inn to stay in during your time here, you decide to wander the streets. mondstadt is certainly less lively than you remember, but there are a few new and familiar faces that you come across during your stroll.

you run into aether, the blonde traveler who took a liking to you when you met in inazuma. he felt indebted fo you since you were the only person in inazuma who made a genuine effort to get him connected to the raiden shogun without trying to involve him in internal political affairs.

"not my home, not my business," you told him with a shrug. "the same goes for you. you're an outsider and people love to remind you of that, so use that to your advantage."

paimon tells you with a mouthful of food that aether started running into more trouble since he took your advice, but that he's stronger because of it.

"if you ever need my help again, you know you can commission me, right?" you nudge aether before you two part ways.

the traveler raises a brow at you. "are you asking me to pay to hang out with you?"

you whistle quietly. the aether you met in inazuma wasn't this brazen. you laugh, impressed. "i gotta make a living somehow." aether punches your shoulder lightly and you wince jokingly. "okay, okay! your presence is payment enough. happy?"

"extremely so." the traveler grins. you two part ways after that, with you laughing at paimon's enthusiastic waving. you continue your trip down memory lane as you walk the streets of mondstadt.

you come across amber, eula, and lisa, who you've met in passing before that day; you greet jean, who welcomes you with open arms; you even happen across albedo, who actually hesitates to speak to you.

you stayed with the chief alchemist for a few weeks up in dragonspine, basically helping him clear out any dangerous spots so he could conduct some research. during that time, you two grew quite close, and only three days before your departure did you two realize that there was something more than just snow in the air.

eventually, your trip ends at the angel's share. you're not much of a drinker, but something light wouldn't hurt, would it?

it would, you realize once you step inside. most of the patrons are off to the side, far away from the stools. but, there's a knight with long, blue hair sitting on the stool teasing the red-haired bartender on duty.

"welcome to the angel's share," the bartender sighs, seemingly on auto-pilot. "can i... oh."

"yeah. oh." you shoot back on impulse. too many years have passed for your biting tone to be interpreted as a joke, because both diluc and kaeya flinch.

what were you thinking, coming in here?! you knew you weren't a drinker, but you just had to pick now to try and start?

you weren't mentally prepared to look these two in the face -- not after what happened. you tried your hardest not to blame them, but no matter how many times you looked at it, they were in the wrong every time. bitterness grew old and sour deep inside you -- it was the main reason why you and albedo were stagnant at the moment; your fear of abandonment was too strong for you to commit to something like a relationship.

the chattering of the bar patrons continues in the background, but as the three of you stare at each other, it all seems to fade into silence.

"you're home," diluc speaks after a long pause. he's a lot bigger than you remember him. if you weren't so pissed at yourself, you'd tease him about when he was a scrawny boy. he looks almost relieved to see you -- did he think you were dead or something? "it's... been a long time."

you blink at him and hold your tongue. if you speak, you fear you may say something you regret.

"you're all grown up now." kaeya speaks next. you see the same regret start to swim in his blue eye, only this time, it's been amplified by time. he sounds so fond and proud -- he sounds like a brother. "i see you've got control of your vision."

you hiss internally. all three of you are in control of your visions. why did he feel the need to bring that up? and why did he sound like that? the time for praising one another has long since passed.

"are you two done pretending like you care?" you snap. diluc and kaeya wince, but don't answer. you march over to a table in the furthest corner of the bar and put your head on the wooden surface.

all the enegy you thought you had for the rest of the night pretty much bleeds right out of you after that. you don't have what it takes to face them, and you certainly don't have what it takes to walk anymore. you doze off, exhausted by your thoughts.

when you come to, you're in a familiar bed. the panic that rises doesn't last very long. you know exactly where you are, and you have a pretty good feeling you know who brought you here.

the sun is pouring through the floor-to-ceiling windows, filling your room with its light. judging by its height, you'd estimate that it's about midday. were you really that tired? you bury your face in your hands and groan loudly. if your hunch was correct and diluc and kaeya brought you here -- brought you home -- last night, then that meant they were planning on talking to you today.

either they were going to talk to you when you left the room, or they would come to you.

the latter ends up being true when you hear knuckles rap an old rhythm on your door. bitter as you may be, you can't help the smile that crosses your face. that was your code when you were kids. "what's the magic phrase?" you manage to say after a while.

kaeya's voice comes through the door. "would you believe me if i said i forgot?" he cracks it open and sticks his head inside. "it's been so many years, you can't blame me."

you shake your head fondly. "get your ass in here before you piss me off." kaeya slips through the door but doesn't close it. you raise a brow. "diluc, i know you're out there. weirdo."

your eldest brother pushes open the door and strides inside. neither of you speak for what feels like forever. the two of them have spoken to each other over the years, but with you back in the loop, they feel as though they're back where they started. you fix your eyes on your hands as you try to organize everything that's flooding your brain.

"i'm sorry." diluc finally says. he's sitting on one side of your bed and kaeya's sitting on the other, and both of them are looking at you with so much sincerity that it makes your chest tighten.

you narrow your eyes. "do you even remember what you're sorry for?"

diluc swallows thickly. "how could i forget? it's only been in my nightmares for about five years."

nightmares? you look away, suddenly ashamed by your callousness. "is that so." you mutter.

"i think it goes without saying that i'm sorry too," kaeya says next. "to both of you. i don't.. i don't think any of us would be in this position if it weren't for me."

neither you nor diluc answer right away because in a way, he's right. if kaeya had just waited a little longer, or delivered the news a little more delicately, things may have played out a little differently. you sigh through your nose.

"it's... not okay." you answer bluntly. you could never lie to them -- not then, not now. "it's never going to be okay."

"i understand." diluc nods stiffly, his voice tight. "truthfully, i don't know how to apologize properly. for years, i thought about how i'd reconcile with you two, but.. nothing ever came to mind."

"i wasn't finished." you level your brother with a glare. "it's never going to be okay, but... i don't mind talking to you guys." your brothers start to look hopeful for a second, but you shake your head. "it'll take a very long time to forgive you, and even longer to trust you again, assuming that i choose to do that at all."

kaeya reaches for your hand slowly, tapping his fingers on yours experimentally. when you don't pull away, he intertwines your fingers with his the way he used to when you were kids. a fresh, unwelcome set of tears rushes to your eyes. you hate it -- hate being so emotional after all this time, but...

sitting here before your brothers makes you feel like a kid again. you feel smothered by the amount of love you once received and gave them in return. you curl your fingers, tightening your grip on kaeya's hand. he's so much colder than you remember, but there's an unmistakable warm that's seeping through.

"i could never handle you crying," he chuckles shakily, reaching over to wipe the tears that escape. "especially if i was the one who made you cry."

diluc grabs your other hand. he doesn't say anything; when you look at him, you see that he's got his other hand covering his face. "i don't even know what to say to you." he says, his voice muffled. "you shouldn't even be giving me the time of day -- not after what i said."

you sniff. "you're right, i shouldn't. but," you squeeze his hand twice. "at the end of the day..."

at the end of the day, you were still siblings, whether diluc believed it or not. your experiences together were too real, too fresh in your mind, even now, to be fake.

"at the end of the day, we're family." you sigh.

you were going to need time -- a lot of time -- to heal and to forgive. it was going to be a slow, painful process as you try to heal a wound that's long since scarred over, but you were still willing to do it. you weren't going to let this final glimmer of hope slip away from you -- not again. and neither were your brothers. deep down, you still trusted and loved them, and they, you.

clinging to that faith, no matter how small, you decide to take the first step.

✧ three hours.. no proofreading (nothing is ever proofread on this blog LOL)... im going to bed now, gn <3

everybody loves somebody.

summary; there's something off every time scaramouche tries to find a partner.... pairings; scaramouche x reader (no pronouns used) warnings; angst angst angst, no beta, uhhh mcd (reader is already dead), what scara is doing here is not healthy bestie scar pls get some help, unhealthy coping mechanism?? (scar trying to cope with your death), do i even have to say hes ooc? notes; this song,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man this SONG i have been obsessed with 50s love songs so much lately i am so down bad for this one especially,,,, it can be used in like a love fic or whatever this sick idea is the possibilities are literally endless i am so sorry if this is shit, i literally wrote and rewrote this 100 times bc i had a very specific vibe/vision i wanted and i rlly struggled to capture it (and i cant tell if i even did capture what i wanted) but anyway

song; everybody loves somebody- dean martin (pls it makes it so much better to listen while reading)

vv special ty to @alonelysimp for helping me out a bunch w this fic <333 literally wouldnt be possible without all the help xe gave me love u lots bestie

everybody loves somebody sometime.

scaramouche felt sick. he sat at the table with a slightly exasperated expression, his tired eyes staring, calculating, at the chair at the other end. when sultry hands smoothed over his shoulders, his expression only darkened.

these were not your hands.

"scara?" the hands' voice asked. "are you alright?"

and that was not your voice.

he turned, disgust shining through his forced smile.

"get out."

and although my dream is overdue.

he was tired. he was so, so tired of looking into eyes that weren't yours, holding hands that weren't yours, kissing lips that weren't yours.

they weren't you.

none of them were you.

but he couldn't seem to stop searching, pursuing an impossible dream with an insatiable desperation. yet every time he thought he had finally found someone, it all felt wrong.

no, no, no.

this hair is too light.

these eyes are too dull.

they all just weren't the right fit. it was fine. he just needed to try again. he just needed to try harder.

your love made it well worth waiting...

scaramouche dug his nails into his palms, all alone once again. frustration simmered under his skin, threatening to boil over.

it wasn't working.

why isn't it working?

he had been asking the same question all along, but a new, uncomfortable query had dug its claws into his mind.

would anyone truly be able to be like you?

could there really be anyone who had those eyes that rivaled the brightest of stars, or that voice that put ocean waves to shame? would anyone be able to view him the same way you did? to love him the same way you did?

archons, how he missed you. the longing, the need, the desperation for you to be back in his arms was beyond all reason, and sometimes it almost felt like too much.

but it was alright. he would be able to find someone like you if he had to search the entirety of teyvat. someone ought to be able to fill the gaping void shaped like you.

for someone.... like you.

even if he had to force them in.

hiiii!!! may i request fragrant mashed potatoes + sweet madame + mint jelly and pop’s teas + dango milk + ketchup <3 maybe like back when he was still kunikuzushi, he had a lover, and before joining the fatui he promised to return to them? tyy!!

‿୨♡୧‿︵ BON APETIT MY FELLOW CUSTOMER ! ︵‿୨♡୧‿

name of order: we’ll meet again

date: scaramouche (w/ gn!reader)

receipt: fragrant mashed potatoes (scaramouche) + sweet madame (reunion) + mint jelly and pop’s teas (fluff with comfort) + dango milk (normal/normal au) + ketchup (hc scenario/bulleted form)

spices: spoilers to inazuma archon quest, spoilers to scaramouche’s real name, fluff/comfort, mentions of fighting, reader can shapeshift into a fox like yae, and this fic takes place during the 2.2 event (except scaramouche doesnt show up in the actual event)

ingredients: he promised that he’ll come back to you as soon when he grows powerful enough. he just didn’t think he’ll meet you this way.

chef’s note: wahh this is such a cute idea !! tysm anon for requesting, i hope this is to your liking <<3

there was once a time when scaramouche went by another name.

kunikuzushi was a name that’s nothing but a reminder of a harbinger’s past. a reminder of a mere prototype puppet who was kicked out by the raiden shogun herself, a “wandering eccentric“ who goes by no name until an act of revenge against a certain blacksmith,

and a lover of a certain inazuman who resides in tatarasuna, working under the guuji of the grand narukami shrine.

scaramouche could only wonder aimlessly if you were still waiting for him after so many years. are you still working for the grand narukami shrine? are you still as kind as he used to know you before when he first met you? do you even remember him if you ever see him?

the harbinger could only cover his face with his hat in shame. shamed that he never got the chance to come back again after so many years even when he vowed to return just for you.

the vow still stands in his empty chest that holds no heart, but would you say the same?

“fear not, dear kunikuzushi.” you said reassuringly, patting the man’s head with a smile. “no matter how time has long passed, i will always be here in inazuma waiting for you.”

you then gave him a large hat, something that he swears to himself to cherish. “take this as my farewell gift. if you ever miss me as much as i will be to you in the near future, you could always wear this hat and remember me.”

will you ever know how he rarely removes the very hat that you gave him?

you hoped he did.

you hoped, just like how a loved one does when a soldier goes to a war, that your dearest kunikuzushi is alright. you hoped, just like how a lover does when they think about their spouse, that he is happy as he could ever be even if you’re not the reason. you hoped, just like how a lover does when they’re away from their spouse, that he still thinks about you just as much as you do with him.

you just keep hoping and hoping as years go by, often visiting the place where you bid him farewell whenever you have the chance, only to sigh in dismay when you couldn’t see kunikuzushi anywhere.

“i suspect that i might find you here,” yae miko spoke up, walking towards you with a small smile on her face. “i was looking for you around the shrine for a task. is something on your mind?”

you slowly look away from the view of your old home that’s now ruined by the harsh thunderstorms in the past, looking at the guuji with a reassuring smile. “i’m just checking up on my old home as the usual, i apologize for not coming back sooner and worry you.” you replied.

“no need for the apologies. it’s not like this is your first time getting away and get distracted.” the woman reassures you with a chuckle.

there was no single soul who’s aware of your relationship with the lone puppet that the raiden shogun discarded except yae miko. although the woman isn’t quite fond of how you’re often distracted unlike before, she couldn’t blame you.

it’s just a shame that the fatui found him, the woman knows fully well that he won’t be able to come back to inazuma anytime soon but didn’t see the point in telling you, not wanting to destroy that hopeful look plastered on your face that she had grown used to see everyday.

“may i ask what task would you like me to fulfill, lady yae?” you ask.

“i’m afraid it’s not like any other tasks i’ve given you,” she warns, crossing her arms with an apologetic smile. “i need you to keep an eye on a certain harbinger that’s been lurking around the land. he’s a tall ginger-haired man with a hydro vision.”

you felt yourself stiffen at the mention of harbinger. “…does this harbinger have something to do with… kuni?” you ask hesitantly.

the woman shrugs in response. “unfortunatley i’m not exactly sure of the purpose of the harbinger’s visit to inazuma, but i suspect it has something to do with kunikuzushi and the electro gnosis – which is why i need you to keep an eye on him for now and see if he’s going to cause trouble.”

your heart leaped at the guuji mentioning your lover’s name. does this mean he hasn’t left the nation?

”i.. i’ll see what i can do, lady yae.“ you spoke, bowing your head to the woman before rushing down from the mountain, leaving yae miko alone with herself.

“..i could only hope to ei that you’ll manage to encounter kunikuzushi, y/n.” the woman mumbled, sighing before walking away towards her shrine.

—

it took you an hour to finally find the harbinger that yae described.

sure, it was a hassle, but after exploring and asking certain adventurers exploring, you manage to find the harbinger that’s been lurking around narukami island.

you stood behind one of the sakura trees disguised as a fox, watching the eleventh harbinger walking out from the place where the traveler and his friends ran in, causing your eyebrows to furrow. why did he come out from it alone? did he lay harm on the traveler?

“where could he be?” childe mumbles with a sigh, scratching the back of his neck as he walks around the area. “he better owe me a thrilling battle by the time i catch that man.”

could he be talking about kunikuzushi, you wonder?

you slowly sneak around the harbinger, curious with the harbinger’s words. surely if the ginger is looking for your lover, then that means he could still be here and hasn’t left the island with the gnosis, right?

you stopped pacing when you realized something.

if… kuni is actually here, then why didn’t he come visit you?

you could feel your blood running cold from that thought alone, mouth slightly open in shocked. surely kuni would actually come to you when he had the chance..? but then again, he didn’t even show himself when he came here for the raiden shogun’s gnosis.

“oh? i haven’t seen a fox like you in the wilderness before..” childe spoke up, looking down at you with a curious look on his face. “you must be a rare breed. you don’t look like those foxes from that village nearby.”

you paid no mind to how the harbinger now stands in front of you, frozen from the thoughts that suddenly made your heart dropped in dread. if kunikuzushi is in inazuma right now, where could he be? why didn’t he come visit you like he promised? did he.. forget about you?

“unless…” childe then smiles menacingly. “you could be one of those beings that can shapeshift.”

the harbinger’s words were enough for you to finally cut yourself off from your thoughts, immediately stepping away from the man as he summons his blades. you should’ve paid more attention to your mission! yae would’ve been disappointed if she finds out that you got carried away by your dumb thoughts!

before things could escalate even more, the harbinger suddenly drops his weapons.

you watched in confusion at the sight of childe letting out a gasp, clenching his teeth at the sudden overwhelming pain inside his body.

“don’t you dare lay a hand on them.”

your breath hitched at the sound of his voice.

…kunikuzushi?

you immediately felt alarmed from the purple smoke surrounding both you and childe — who’s now on his knees to the cold ground trying to breathe. “is this… is this one of your stupid— stupid traps, balladeer?” he asks, clutching his chest.

without hesitation, you turn around and see your lover in all his glory, standing a few steps away from you as he glares at the fallen harbinger.

“and here i thought i was better off with leaving you alone and fool you about my whereabouts,” he spoke to childe, clenching his fists. “but you just had to try and fight my lover.”

“and here i thought… i thought the ferocious balladeer wouldn’t have someone to call a lover.” the eleventh harbinger retorts with a smirk, only to gasp out for air when scaramouche suddenly makes the air around him more venomous.

“come, y/n,” he calls out to you in a soft tone- something that took you by surprise because of his sudden change of tone. “let’s get out of here before that rascal gets his hands on us.”

he didn’t have to ask twice.

—

“are you out of your mind? why the hell did you go to that harbinger of all people?! he could’ve killed you if it weren’t for me intervening!” he scolds you as the both of you stay in a camp that’s far away from where childe was, both of you were panting in exhaustion from running away.

“i apologize.. but please believe me when i say i didn’t mean to have my cover get revealed.” you said, not bothering to change your fox form. “i just.. got distracted by my thoughts.”

he furrows his eyebrows. “and what could possibly got you distracted?!”

“..i.. i was wondering why you didn’t visit me when you came here for.. the gnosis.” you hesitantly explained, looking away from your lover’s strong gaze in shame. “i just.. i just felt confused a-and maybe hurt that you probably didn’t want to see me after so many years.”

the both of you fell silent.

scaramouche stares deeply at your fox form, feeling conflicted.

“…change back to your normal form.” he commands, causing you to frown in confusion. what is he planning to do, exactly?

nevertheless, you followed your lover’s command and instantly changed back into your human form once more, still looking down at the ground with a frown plastered on your face.

your eyes widens when you felt arms wrapped around your body into a hug.

“you idiot,” he whispered. “you have no idea how much i’ve wanted to do this ever since i saw you in the place where i left.”

your breath hitches from his words. he… he saw you? he’s been visiting the place as well?

you quickly hug your lover back as well, lips quivering. “why didn’t you come to me if you saw me then? did you.. did you not want to see me ye—”

“god no,” scaramouche interrupts, clinging onto you tighter than before. “don’t you dare think that i’d hate to see you or forgot about you! i just didn’t know if you wanted to see me…”

you let out a laugh, realizing that the both of you were thinking the same thing. “of course i wanted to see you for so long dummy..”

the both of you stayed in the position for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth for as long as you’ve desired after so many years of being separated.

“i miss you.” you both said to each other at the same time out loud.

A comfort and a warm.

Ft. Childe/Ajax

Cw : Male Reader, Reader's a florist! Story written from Childe/Ajax POV Ooc childe sobs. RUSHED ASF. Not proofread

Summary : Ajax has always been a lonely person who kept his burden all by himself, but not until a certain boy came to his life and lit his hollow soul ablaze.

A/N : its alr the end of the year lol, i just wanna say a lots and tons of sorry for being so inactive, basically school is destroying my sanity and i've been trying to finish my last request (very sorry to the anon) anw im writing this to fill my blog since its so empty

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—-

After the abyss incident Ajax could feel that he was nothing but a living corpse that seek nothing but power, even when his family was always by his side and comforting him every night saying how grateful they were that he came back home in one piece, yes he may physically came home in one piece but what about his inner mind? Is he still the cheerful and innocent Ajax they used to know?

Ajax's family were very much aware about his abyss incident, and they were aware about how his mental condition were worsening when he joined the Fatui and yet they said and did nothing about it.

He had it said to himself that the day when the fatui took him in, "This is the end of my youth and the beggining of my day as a warrior, from today onward i promise I'll be stronger to protect those i care about." And thus he left his innocence behind and built himself a mask that he hoped will cover any remant of his childhood self.

Sure the masks of personality he built worked, but at what cost?

Ajax felt as if he was hollow, he wondered to himself if he was still alive at this point, everything he said everything he do felt meaningless even when he came home to the welcoming arm of his family he felt that something inside him were missing, sure he may looked happy but.. is that what he truly felt?

But even after all of that, he remembers one certain incident where... he met a certain boy that changes his view of world.

He remembers vividly, it was a pretty sunny day on liyue, as always ajax was wandering aimlessly whilst admiring the calming and busy atmosphere and even occasionally saying Hi to whoever he met whether it was colleagues or just someone he happens to know, that's until he stumbled upon a very familiar face, You.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–— Liyue 2 Years ago.

"Goodmorning comrade, is the flower selling well today?" I said to the person as i fasten up my pace and jumping giddily, a liyuean florist whom i and the other Liyuean people adored, because of his well known calm and reserved demeanor and a sweetest smile he earned a sweet title by the children as a "Sunflower Boy"

"Goodmorning, what should i call you today eh, Maybe young master?" He said while chuckling softly, Sadly unbeknownst to the liyue people He an Fatui Agent, A cold blooded killer hiding behind the sweet smile face that watches all over the Liyue.

"Aw come on (Name), lets put the work aside" ajax turned his gaze towards you while fiddling with the flower on display, "This looked fresh, when did u picked this qingxin?" He asked.

"Last mission, i found a place with lots qingxin so why not harvest it from there?" Heh last mission huh?

"Wasn't the last mission i sent u on was a bloodbath?" I said to him.

Huft... you sighed, "if you want to talk the details about the last mission we better not do it here, Childe."

"Oh? Calling by my codename rather than Tartaglia huh? Interesting" he chuckled, "is it a one step of getting closer?"

Honestly if i could ho and visit you everyday, I would.

"Anyway Childe, what brings you here?" He asked while organizing the flower bouquet.

"Well, i just wanted to see you. Beside i needed a flower for teucer, how much for this one" he said while pointing to a flower bouquet, "that one pretty, im sure teucer would love it."

"Teucer huh? Wait.. Teucer is here??" He turned his gaze at me completely shocked, "How come is he here? Did he run off again."

"Of course not! He said he missed Liyue and Teucer is teucer he begged to go to liyue with me."

"Heh Teucer always like that isn't he? Anyway here's your flower bucket sir, dont forget we have a meeting at 7PM today" he gave the flower bucket to me and grabbed my hand softly "Keep the money, beside i don't want my own superior to pay and dont't forget send my regard to teucer." He smiled fondly.

Somehow something inside my heart is burning truly, i could feel my face heatin up and my heart racing.

"Shit." I cursed down my breath and pulled my hand away from his, "Well ahem!, since we have a meeting today why dont i go treat you some meal before we began our work hm? You've been a really good assistant to me too these days, how about we go for third round knockout?"

"Sounds good! I was getting hungry myself." He said giggling, "but first i need to clean up the flower store." He hurriedly packed the flower away.

"Here let me help you comrade."

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—-

Even until these day i wondered why you would hold my hand at the first place, Your hand not so fit for a florist, calloused and littered with scars but yet i somehow still adored it, at that time i wished the time could stop. I wished that we could hold hand a little longer.

A lot of people say that my action are getting a little too visible, how i smiled when his face randomly came on my mind or how sometimes he came to my office bringing the paperwork i need to do while smiling brightly, or maybe the time when he take cares of me while i was sick. I remember vividly, he would came to my office bringing me a cup of hot tea while ushing me to take a rest and said that he would take my place for a while, oh how sweet of him.

Even my fellow harbinger friend "Signora" said

"Poor boy tartaglia, can't even confess his feeling to his own assistant? You know that our job is dangerous right? death is not a uncommon thing here, either you will run out of time or..."

"Or what signora." I said my tone coming out coldly

"You know it already tartaglia."

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—– 1.45 AM Tartaglia Office

I scribbled down the last stack paperwork i needed to fill and submit whilst feeling that in any second my head could've exploded.

Just what time is it? I turned my head over to the clock sitting next to the sofa clearly showing that its past midnight and yet here i am trying to finish of what seem like non ending paperwork, should i just gave up? I have a free schedule tommorow anyway slacking off a little wouldn't hurt right? Right.

Slowly i could feel that my eyes is getting droopy and my body relaxing, i rested my head down to the desk im working at and slowly drifting to slumber.

But clearly before i was completely sleeping i could hear my office door slowly sliding open following with a long sigh of a certain person?? Honestly i was too tired to even look up and checked who it was.

Again before i knew it the next morning i woke up with a jacket draped over my shoulder and a finished paperwork? Half of it are already submitted i wonder, and a little note saying that i shouldn't overworked myself.

Straightening myself up i take off the jacket and inspected it for a little while finding a nametag signed "(Name)" in it. I couldn't help but let out a little laugh, Why do you care so much about me (Name)?

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—-

After everthing you've done for me, how could i repay you? I remembered one single memory where everything changed, both you and me.

-

Sometimes i could walked down the hallway with a bruised and bloodied body, and yet i never came running down to seek the medical staff, i walked myself to your office, where i know you would stay there and do whatever you needed to do, i know this has been the countless time i did it but yet, you never showed anger you welcomed me with open arms and tended my wound with your gentle hand, a hand that healed my inner self.

I knocked softly on your office door, "(Name) are you there? Its me, i got.. problems."

"Be right there" i could hear a faint shuffling and a rushing steps running to the door.

And the door opened, revealing you with a shocked and somewhat concerned face mixed with "I know this would happen" expression, "Well, good evening comrade as you see uhh i got trouble here." I tried to put my usually bright self.

"Get inside and sit down, let me get my medical kit"

I did as he ordered me to, i sat down to the usualy chair where he tended my wound and maybe sometimes where i would drop in and said Hi to him while he was resting.

"Look Ajax i do not want to hear your reason about this injury, im growing indeed tired of hearing your exact same reason." He said while sitting on a small chair and giving me a gesture to open up my clothes, "Open it i need to see the wounds"

"You know that its better for you to seek the actual medical staff and get yourself patched up there"

"Honestly (Name) my injuries heals faster if the one who patched it up is you" i said while smiling giddily, "But anyway thanks for always doing this though, i know i should've gone to the infirmary but yet i came up running to you"

"Sure yea, this might sting a little stay still."

Sting a little? I couldn't even feel anything when my mind is totally centered to how your hand tended my injuries.

When he patched me up, i stayed silent the rest of the time, i thinked about how he still wants to do this despite scolding me for a thousand time already.

"There and its done" he said while giving my back a little rub, "as i said next time dont overdo it Ajax, anyway here's your clothes the weather is really cold today isnt it?"

"Thank you (Name), and could i ask you something?"

"Ask away Ajax"

"Why do you keep doing this, despite of how many time you said to me that i was a nuisance? And the amount of stuff you did to me. Truly it did leave a mark at my heart, You know that time? When we met and talked at your flower shop and you hold my hand? I swear i couldm't get enough of it, and you know i've been holding myself to say this. I Liked you alot! More than friends if you are wondering, its fine if you dont feel the same, atleast i could get it out of my chest" i poured all the feeling i've been holding on for so many days, secretly i hoped that you would share the same feelings with me.

"And (Name) being with you truly healed my inner self, You did keep me sane the whole time you know that?" I laughed, while trying to hold in the little tears that pooled around the corner of my eye.

"Well Ajax, In fact i did share the same feeling with you, I Liked you too! Way longer than you did, i strucked love when i met you on your recruit days, we were on the same teams that day"

He said while Holding our hand together, but this time it was more genuine.

"I.. how could i not know then?"

"Maybe because you're too busy getting that harbinger title"

"(Name) i do not know how to respond to this, truly thank you, Thank you for everything." I squezzed his hand gently, "Thank You."

I never felt anything more happy than this, That day i feel that he has set my hollow soul ablaze.

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—-–—-

Bonus lmao :

"Hey (Name)" i turned my sight to him

"Yes?"

"Could i ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Kiss the injuries it helps them heals faster"

"....."

"No"

(Name) proceeds to smother ajax w little kisses and yes it make Ajax giggle and kicks his feet like a damn toddler

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—-

Note : Thanks i know that this cringe but thank you truly.

Presented to my silly babi @adrifts-home

---

I should rewrite this

Lost & Found?....

Ft. Tartaglia/Childe (Ajax)

Reader's pronoun : He/Him Cw : the reader fell into the fking abyss<3, abyss princess lumine, abyss reader. Ooc childe??

Summary : In which you were his long lost childhood bestfriend, but reuniting with your long lost childhood friend isn't always the warmest.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

You were merely the core memory of his childhood. the memory you both made always made him smile, no matter which one.

Though, after his days on the abyss he lost the memories. One by one fades out, no matter how hard he tries to remember it, he couldn't. He couldn't remember how you look like. Your hair, your face, your features. It always left him questioned.

When he got out of the abyss, his first thought was his family, and you.

He tried to ask the nearby villager about your whereabout, only to be left with an answer that you had mysteriously disappeared the day after he was gone missing.

But, eventually after a brawl and huge havoc ajax's brings to the seaside village of morepesok, ajax father had no choice but to hand his beloved son to the fatui's.

Days by days went by in the fatui headquarter, ajax has long forgotten his childhood friend, Though whenever he was alone his thought always come to this certain voice he couldn't get over with.

"Ajax!... Ajax, promise me we would stay together forever!" Said a familiar voice of a boy he couldn't remember.

"But i promised you yesterday!" "I don't care! Lets do the promise again." The boy protested.

"Alright, alright!" Ajax could only huffed in response.

"You make a pinkie promise you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise. I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend. The frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again." The both of you said happily

..Oh... he remembered, you were his first friend, a very close one.

A child who always tags along with whatever he was doing, neither it was bad or good. Even his parents and sibling knows you well, you would sometimes have a dinner at his house or sometimes a sleepover.

Even your parents have to scold you because you always came home late.

Oh.. to those little memories that he cherished so much, it makes him misses you even more. But sadly, even when he remembers those memories he can't remember how you look like.

One by one, he remembers the memories vividly. The way you would hold his cold hand and guide him home through the cold forest, the way your smiled warmed his heart.

...He was so lost in thought until

"Sir Tartaglia, The Ship will be docked around 10 minutes until now. Please prepare yourself."

His eyes peered over the kneeling agent behind him.

"Hm." Tartaglia only hummed in response.

With that, the agent left.

Tartaglia recalled that his next mission were located in some random place in snezhnaya, he was tasked to retrieve an stolen ancient artifact which the fatui presumed it came from 500 years ago. The years where khaenriah still exist.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

10.27 Snezhnaya.

Ajax always misses walking down the snowy forest with you, the way you would show him the path on the forest so he diddn't get lost. How your warm hand warmed his cold ones.

"So this is the place.. i diddn't know the abyss would have their hideout around here" he peered over the blurry picture of an snowy ancient ruins, "now that i'm here, will you answer my question? Abyss mage." He pointed his dagger at the exhausted abyss mage under him, blood dripping off his dagger from the countless enemies he Killed.

"Heh.. you thought you could get an easy answer of the artifact huh? Fatui" the abyss mage responded.

"Cmon now.. dont play with me, you know you're on the verge of dying right know aren't you?" he pointed the dagger even more closely to the abyss mage body.

"If you wished for the answer, why don't you ask the answer to his majesty then?" The abyss mage said lowly.

"You—" just before childe could finish his own word, an knife flew infront of his face.

"That's enough." A figure wearing a cloaked clothes said, their upper face hidden by a hood.

"Torturing my underlings is unacceptable, and i guessed you came here for the relic aren't you?" The cloaked figure said while opening his hood revealing a very familiar face to ajax himself.

For a second ajax thinks he was dreaming, the person he cherished the most, is here, in front of him. But he know something was wrong... did.. you just said, underlings?

"You... you.. shit" ajax said, his face showing shock and confusion.

"Oh Tartaglia, or should i say ajax. Don't tell me you forggoten my name already?" You said.

The way his name rolled off your tongue perfectly, it remind him of some memories.

Your name.. what was your name?...

[Na...]...

[Name]?....

[Name]!

Your name! That was your name!

"[Name]! Is that.. Is that really you?!" His face showing an shocked expression.

"Well... could you not tell? You couldn't remember your own friend?" "Or did the abyss really affect you?"

"The Abyss?! How did you know about it??" "Were you.. were you siding with the abyss?!" He screamed.

"Her majesty... she.. she saved me, and in return i... will help her achieve her dream" You said, old Memory flashing your mind.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

"Madame!.. Madame!" You had been knocking on your dearest friend door, hoping for neither one of his family member to answer the knocking, ignoring the snowstorm that had been silencing your voice.

But— by the luck or miracle you have in your pocket, the door opened revealing an concerned mother.

"[Name]??, Oh dear! what are you doing here? The snowstorm is raging outside!" "Look at you, you got frostbite here and there" she said, her tone laced with worries as she examined your body.

"Madame.. is the rumor true?? About ajax?" You said while looking up at her, sad expression on your eye.

"Its.. sigh.., [name] why dont you come inside? I will explain it to you"

Just from her words you could already tell that the rumors was true, her tone explained it all.

"No! I cant.. i.. i need to look for him" you turned your heel, running to the forest where your bestfirend were last seen.

"Wait!... [Name] The snowstorm is still—"

—"[Name]!"

You ran as fast as your feet could take you ignoring the raging snowstorm and a cry of plea coming from Ajax mother

After all, she truly care for both of you right?..

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

Huft.. huft..

"ugh, i cant.. breath.." you said as you clutch your hand to your chest gasping for more air.

But..

"The air.. its so.. cold and the snowstorm.. is getting more rougher" "and my frostbite isn't doing any better too" you peered over your hand, showing an visible wound of a frostbite.

"I need to go fast, otherwise i'll freeze to death" again you ran, to wherever direction you could go.

"Ajax! Ajax! Where are you?" You screamed

"Answer me!" Again..

"Ajax!" Again..

"Answer me.. please.." and again..

You ran and screamed until.. you couldn't feel your leg again.

Thump.. you fell onto your knees, your body hurt. You couldn't breath, and your frostbite wound isn't doing any better.

Am i going to die here? Am i going to give up just like this? If i die here... what would my parent feel..? No.. what about ajax's mother? Can she handle the loss of her two favourite child?

Those thought keep flooding your mind "I guess it can't be helped" you closed your eyes, just before Darkness and snow engulfing your tiny body..

"Im sorry..." is all you could muster

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

??.?? unknown place.

My head?.. am i still alive?

You opened your eyes, squinting slightly at the light around you.

"Where am i?.." you looked around the place "it looks like an domain.."

"How did i get in here?..." as you tried to stand up, you realize that your leg isn't moving as you wanted it to.

My legs... how am i supposed to get out of here, i need to—

"Poor kid... falling into such a dangerous place like this" you heard a voice alongside the sound of steps.

There she stands, a young woman with a blonde hair, judging from her attire it seems that she diddn't came from teyvat. But yet she looks so graceful in it.

"Who are you?..." you looked up at her, curiosity plastered on your eyes.

She crouched over to your level, "I will help you" she said whilst holding your chin, "but.. in return, you will help me achieve my dream"

Her dream?... weird..

You had no choice but to say yes.

"Whats your name?" She says

"Im [Name], how about you?.." you said shakily.

"Im.... Lumine."

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

"And the rest.. its blurry, i can hardly remember anything these days. Guess the abyss do affect me too."

"[Name].. so you.. so you went out looking for me that day?.." "but.. but! Mother and the other diddnt say anything about you the day i returned to the village?!"

"I guess.." you hopped down from rather high platform you were standing on "She diddn't want to make you worry Ajax, what kind of mother would want to make their child worry over a trivial matter?" you walked up to him.

"And.. im sorry for not being there when you returned ajax, i should've dis— No, princess lumine I.." you sighed.

"Look ajax, this place isn't safe for you this place is overflowing with dark elemental energy. You should go back soon"

"and the artifact.. i'll just give it to you." You said while handing him the ancient artifact.

"Now go back Ajax, and never return here ever" you turned your back at him, just before you can walk away from him.

"Wait!" You feel a hand holding your cape "Why don't you.. why dont you go back to morepesok with me [name]? You know mother is still looking for you right?? "She would be very happy to see you right now!" He said with an pleading eye.

"Ajax.. i have a duty to attend too, and you too right? Now let go off me" you said trying to pry his hand off your cape.

"Please..."

It took a few tries before his hand were completely off you.

As you walked away from him, you opened up an portal leading to— who knows? Maybe anywhere away from from this auburn haired friend of yours.

"And ajax, dont try on searching for me ever again, also... be careful out there." You said before stepping on the portal, Vanishing away from his sight.

Ajax tries to open his mouth, but still no words came out of his mouth.

And yet once again—

He was left with nothing but

The feeling of loneliness and a longing feeling for your presence.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

Eughhsgshs im finally done with this fic ;D its been like 6 month or more of this thing sitting on my draft/srs. And yes im alive ty and anw this fic is kind of uh 💀 i spent a lot of time in it and yet it looks like ass