I Call Upon The Fan Fic Writing Gods To Bless You With The Perseverance To Finish One Of Your Unfinished

I do not have a gender, but if I did it would be whatever the hell The Amazing Devil has going on.

honestly every time I listen to toss a coin it's more and more funny like some twink troubadour just comes out of nowhere bellowing a song about how mean elves beat him up before a ridiculously hot monster hunter told them not to so everyone should be nice to the monster hunter and give him money and drinks and literally nobody on the continent questions this they are all like "this is the greatest song I have ever heard ever here's seven grammys and a few coins for your grumpy monster killing bf godspeed king"

*volume warning*

If you’re reading this: this is your sign that your WIP is worth writing, is worth the effort, and that you are doing great. Keep going, take breaks, reflect. But do not lose sight of how far you’ve come on this project! You can do it!

I can’t be the only who went StANd OuT AbOve the CrOwd 😎👍

Everyone: Merlin, no

Merlin: Merlin, yes

Arthur: Merlin, no

Merlin:...

Merlin: Merlin, definitely yes

alternatively

Everyone: Arthur, no

Arthur: Arthur, yes

Merlin: Arthur, no

Arthur: Arthur, no

There’s nothing I love more then a powerful jaskier au but I’m also extremely fond of when jaskier gets to be an oblivious idiot (geralt can’t hog that title all of the time)

So hear me out, jaskier with magic, but also a jaskier that is in extreme denial about having magic

geralt knew jaskier wasn’t completely human a week after meeting him. He didn’t smell quite right, there was always a slight tinge of ozone under his natural scent, something that felt like raw untapped power

his medallion didn’t vibrate though, so he knew the bard wasn’t a monster. He waited for the other shoe to drop, for jaskier to finally reveal whatever the hell the bard was. Months and months go by, and eventually years and still…… nothing.

geralt watches as the flower crowns jaskier makes never wilt, how the sun shines brighter when he laughs, how people seem to bend over backwards when jaskier smiles hard enough, and how the forest itself seems to create paths for him to walk down, how the road wouldn’t dare to lay a rock in his merry way

it isn’t until they’re in the middle of a bandit attack off the path and geralt watches as the bandit creeping behind jaskier is thrown into a tree with a sickening crack, and the man threatening jaskier with a sword suddenly screams in pain as the metal turns red hot, giving geralt the time he needs to cut the man down, the scent of burned flesh lingering in the hair

jaskier turns to him, a relieved smile on his face, and geralt thinks this is the moment, there’s no denying this, and jaskier just makes some comment about how lucky he was that it was hot out today, and can you imagine how that could have gone if it was fall?

and then geralt realizes, 

oh.

jaskier is just a fucking idiot

an idiot who is so convinced of his own humanity that he denies any and all of the signs pointing towards just the opposite

signs like how jaskier always seems to know what geralt needs before he knows it himself

random weird instructions like, make sure you bring an extra vial of Swallow, which comes in handy when swamp water makes the first vial slip right through his hand to smash on the ground or a “don’t forget your cloak” on a perfectly sunny day that turns to a downpour as he trudges back to the inn

all of these instances continue through the years, years that don’t seem to affect jaskier as geralt silently adds possible immortality to his list of “weird things jaskier can apparently do”

eventually when yennefer and ciri join them on their travels, other people are finally privy to jaskier’s powers

yennefer directs a questioning eyebrow toward geralt when the dead bird they stumbled upon twitches to life in jaskier’s hands and flies away. 

later that night geralt tells yennefer about all the instances of magic that have surrounded jaskier since they’ve been traveling together

the only thing yennefer can think of is that it must be fey blood, it’s the only explanation that makes sense of all of the raw power

ciri joins the ranks of People Baffled By Jaskier’s Obliviousness when she watches jaskier glare a field of flowers into full bloom and then remark on the power of positive reinforcement because, look ciri!

these instances continue

a perfectly sunny day turns into a downpour when geralt accidentally insults jaskier’s outfit

valdo marx conveniently has an intimate run in with a ditch after crossing paths with them on the road

a tavern bar catches on fire after the owner refused to serve geralt

it all comes to a head when nilfgaardian soldiers manage to corner them in the mountains. Geralt is cutting down soldiers left and right, yennefer is shooting spell after spell. but its obvious they are tiring with so many soldiers, and they are in a space too small for ciri to scream without hurting any of her family

jaskier doesn’t know what’s happening, one second they’re being overwhelmed, and he feels a sensation boiling up in his chest, engulfing his body and growing bigger and bigger with his desperation and he just wants everything to stop and suddenly he feels a need to push out and he closes his eyes and thrusts his hands forward, and everything is….. quiet?

he opens his eyes and he sees geralt and ciri and yen all gaping at him and jaskier looks around and sees frost stretching out from his feet, and ice enveloping all of the soldiers, freezing them in place. there’s neat circles of grass surrounding each member of his family but the frost clinging to his fingertips leaves no doubt about who was the cause of this sudden onslaught of snow.

the bard brushes his hands off on his pants, and makes a small show of straightening his clothes before he looks back at his companions, still staring at him in awe.

“well, that’s new”

yennefer lets loose a loud laugh shocked from her in disbelief, followed by the little giggles of ciri

the bruise geralt leaves on his own forehead after facepalming doesn’t go away for three days   

The reason the new Batman is so good is bc it definitely was not made for the regular male super hero loving audience. It was made for the girls and the gays and especially the bi’s

I am a WHORE for “the love is requited, they’re both just idiots”

This fanfic I’m never going to write is really damn good.