Honestly Every Time I Listen To Toss A Coin It's More And More Funny Like Some Twink Troubadour Just

honestly every time I listen to toss a coin it's more and more funny like some twink troubadour just comes out of nowhere bellowing a song about how mean elves beat him up before a ridiculously hot monster hunter told them not to so everyone should be nice to the monster hunter and give him money and drinks and literally nobody on the continent questions this they are all like "this is the greatest song I have ever heard ever here's seven grammys and a few coins for your grumpy monster killing bf godspeed king"

Witcher Masterpost

All my OC!reader fics.

For those who asked, here are my fics (updating as they come) focusing on the reader as a young girl in Geralt’s care. Ages & timings vary. I’ve put them in a relative order of when they’re set.

The reader is my OC, Akela, just with the pronouns/name changed as Tumblr seems to prefer reader!fics. Her version of each story can be found here.

Sticks and Stones - After Renfri’s death, you find Geralt surrounded by a crowd of people throwing stones at him and yelling at him to die. Needless to say, you react in the only way possible. Like a witcher.

Heart of Geralt - Geralt and Jaskier’s first meeting, except with an added twist. Who knew the White Wolf liked raspberries?

The White Wolf and His Pup - Geralt finds a baby girl in the woods, and for some reason, he can’t quite let her go.

Fragile - Geralt deals with a sick baby.

Like Father, Like Daughter - Geralt should have expected his child’s first word to be ‘fuck’.

Raising a Wild Pup - Geralt deals with a tantrum, watches the sun set, and goes swimming. In one evening. That’s his superpower. He calls it fatherhood.

Eleven - For a five-year-old, political events can be boring. Thankfully, Geralt is a master at distracting you.

Fire - It’s your birthday, and you and Geralt celebrate by playing a game.

Book - After a long day, you ask Geralt to read you a story before bed.

Drabble - “I’m bleeding!”

Drabble - “Are you mad at me?”

Drabble - “What the hell are you holding and why is it… wriggling?”

Eye of the Beholder - Geralt has a tendency to cover your eyes whenever a naked person steps into view—as any father does—but this proves to be quite difficult when he first meets Yennefer.

Sex and Apologies - After the djinn causes the building to fall around Geralt and Yennefer, you believe your guardian to be dead. He is, of course, very much alive, and you’re far from happy.

First - You smile at a boy, and Geralt starts to worry.

Little Traveller - While staying at an inn, you sleepwalk, leaving a very uneasy Geralt to come and find you.

Drabble - “Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.”

You Make Me Smile - The one thing you should never do is start a tickle fight with a witcher.

Each Other - Geralt would never have believed that he’d one day find himself braiding a teenage girl’s hair, never mind her braiding his… But here he is. And he isn’t complaining.

Like Him - You and Geralt have an argument, and it takes a certain bard to get you to stop glaring daggers at each other and make up.

Dad - Three times Geralt called you his daughter, and the one time you called him ‘Dad’.

A Mother’s Touch - Geralt is great, but sometimes, all you need is a mother’s arms to wrap around you and hold you close.

To Annoy a Witcher - Three times Geralt hated the bard’s song, and the one time he didn’t.

Wild Rabbit - You meet your mother—the mother who, as the stories go, left you to the monsters in the woods. Fortunately, you were found by Geralt before they could get you, but it’s safe to say you’re not happy to see this woman… and neither is Geralt.

Drabble - “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Drabble - “Where’s Roach?”

Drabble - “You have a stick in your hair.”

Drabble - “You know I love you.”

Drabble - “I’ll always be there for you.”

Drabble - “What the hell are you holding and why is it… wriggling?”

Mud Monster - Jaskier should have known better than letting you convince him to play a prank on Geralt.

To Love and Be Loved - Geralt and Yennefer aren’t exactly the most well-behaved parents when it comes to you and teenage boys.

Fishy Business - Geralt teaches you how to catch fish.

Until the End - After Geralt loses both Yennefer and Jaskier on that mountainside, you’re there to assure him that he’s not alone.

Constant - You’re worried that, once Geralt finds Ciri, he’ll stop caring for you. Geralt’s quick to put your mind at ease.

Jealousy - You meet Ciri, and you are less than happy.