Writing Tips
Punctuating Dialogue
✧
➸ “This is a sentence.”
➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.
➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”
➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”
➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”
➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”
➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.
“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.
“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”
➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”
➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”
However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!
➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.
If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)
➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“
“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.
➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.
➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”
➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.
“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”
➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.
“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”
if a patient has a seizure that lasts longer than 5 minutes, or if they suffer several seizures, they risk sustaining brain damage — because their brain can’t get oxygen during the seizure.
if a patient’s coughing up blood when they’re lying on their back, make sure to tune their face to the side so that they don’t choke on their own blood (the same applies to vomit too)
chest compression can and often leave patients with broken ribs. because you have to push down hard enough in order to help pump blood from the patient’s heart to their brain (the point is so that the brain gets blood, in order to prevent brain damage), and more often than not, you’ll end up breaking your patient’s ribs — that is normal and okay, because it’s better for your patient to have broken ribs than it is for them to lose their life.
after a course of electroconvulsive therapy, you’ll normally have to give your patient a dose of muscle relaxant, otherwise the aftermath of the shock may cause musculoskeletal complications.
you don't use a defibrillator to shock a patient if they already flat line, because their heart no longer has any electricity. quote "asystole isn't a shockable rhyme, and defibrillator may actually make it harder to restart the heart." (Cleveland Clinic)
the famous, classic "a character was knocked out and they stayed unconscious for hours before they woke up on their own with no lingering damage" trope is actually almost impossible if you want your work to be medically accurate (but if you don’t care about accuracy and are just here for the whump, that is totally fine!). if someone was knocked out and they stayed unconscious for more than several minutes, chances are that they suffer permanent brain damage, so they won't "wake up on their own in the next hour or two and be completely fine without intense medical attention".
Updated 3rd June 2024 More description notes
The hallucinations were the same as being tortured for real, all of the emotions, all of the trauma, and none of the empathy that would come with such a real life ordeal.
There was something in that shout, a pain behind it. John watched. He watched Jane’s eyes. Then he knew. The anger was nothing but a shield for pain, like a cornered soldier randomly throwing out grenades, scared for his life, lonely, desperate. He breathed in real slowly. What if nothing blew up? What if there were no consequences? Wouldn't John have to calm down? Wouldn't the shield clatter to the ground and let the pain tumble out?
John sees Jane. He does. He sees pain in her eyes. It has sat there for her lifetime, trapped in the confusion we all carry. He sees love too, the love she would have given were it not for the scars. It's still there, and one day he will set her free. John is not perfect, yet he loves her, and he knows what love means. He asks for a chance to find his feet, to stop his own head from spinning, and he will prove it. There is so much of her life that is a hell for her soul, and she stays there from strength rather than weakness, he knows. So he wants to join her in that pain, walk with her, feel the same torture he knows she bears. And one day, he will find just the right way to bring her home, his love.
Jane's emotional pain seeps out in her words, and it hurts John to hear them, hurts to read them. He senses what is inside that troubles her, yet also there is so much goodness there too—bravery, tenacity. She holds on like a fighter, every morning rising at the ringing of "the bell." All he can offer her is a brighter horizon, a hope that one day she will be free of all this. One day there will be choice, freedom, and security of food, shelter on a healthy Earth.
Emotional pain leaves invisible scars, yet they can be traced by the most gentle of touch.
Nobody wants to hurt, yet if John's pains can be used to help others, he feels blessed. Anyhow, perhaps his scars are his road-map; maybe he would be lost without them.
He turned towards him, a pained expression plastered across his face, teeth clenched as he tried to steady his breathing.
Gripping the ground as hard as he could to take some of the pain away.
It was as if a thousand needles of doubt and self-loathing were piercing her heart with each passing moment, leaving behind a tapestry of scars that only she could see.
It was as though a veil of sadness had been draped over her eyes, distorting her perception of the world and casting everything in shades of gray.
The weight of sorrow was a constant companion, pressing down on his shoulders until he felt he might collapse under its burden.
Her mind was a battlefield, each thought a landmine ready to explode with memories she wished she could forget.
The storm inside his head raged on, a relentless barrage of thoughts and fears that left him feeling exhausted and defeated.
It was as if a dark cloud had settled over his soul.
Her chest felt hollow, a yawning emptiness where joy and peace once resided, now replaced by a gnawing ache.
His mind was a prison denying him the freedom to live fully.
She felt like she was drowning in an ocean of despair, every attempt to surface met with another wave of hopelessness.
Every laugh felt hollow, every smile forced, as if she were playing a role in a play she didn't want to be in.
She felt like a ghost, wandering through life unnoticed, her pain invisible to everyone but herself.
The nights were the worst, when the darkness outside matched the darkness within, and sleep was a distant dream.
It was like a fire burning within, consuming all that was good and leaving behind nothing but ashes of what used to be.
The pain was a silent scream, a cry for help that no one could hear.
Writing Advice: it doesn’t matter if an idea has been done before. It’s never been done by you. So long as you do it well, and in your own way, it’s a wonderful contribution.
Some words to use when writing things:
winking
clenching
pulsing
fluttering
contracting
twitching
sucking
quivering
pulsating
throbbing
beating
thumping
thudding
pounding
humming
palpitate
vibrate
grinding
crushing
hammering
lashing
knocking
driving
thrusting
pushing
force
injecting
filling
dilate
stretching
lingering
expanding
bouncing
reaming
elongate
enlarge
unfolding
yielding
sternly
firmly
tightly
harshly
thoroughly
consistently
precision
accuracy
carefully
demanding
strictly
restriction
meticulously
scrupulously
rigorously
rim
edge
lip
circle
band
encircling
enclosing
surrounding
piercing
curl
lock
twist
coil
spiral
whorl
dip
wet
soak
madly
wildly
noisily
rowdily
rambunctiously
decadent
degenerate
immoral
indulgent
accept
take
invite
nook
indentation
niche
depression
indent
depress
delay
tossing
writhing
flailing
squirming
rolling
wriggling
wiggling
thrashing
struggling
grappling
striving
straining
Dream sequence/nightmare
Flashback/resurfaced memories
Revealed by psychic reading Whumpee’s mind
Found footage/pictures
Someone finally asks and they explain
As the reason behind a thought process/assumption/belief
Whumper shows up and taunts them
Scars
Through conditioned behaviour
Finding an old journal
Hints dropped in conversation
Have someone who knows tell someone who doesn’t
• • •
Feel free to add others!
╰ Facial expressions
These are your micro-signals, like the blinking neon signs of the soul. But they’re small, quick, and often lie harder than words.
Raised eyebrows — This can mean surprise or disbelief, sure. But it can also be a full-on, silent “Are you serious right now?” when someone’s being ridiculous. Or even curiosity when someone’s too emotionally repressed to askthe damn question.
Furrowed brow — That face people make when they’re doing long division in their head or trying to emotionally process a compliment. It’s thinking, yes—but also confusion, deep frustration, or quiet simmering rage.
Smiling — Can be happiness… or total fake-it-till-you-make-it energy. Some smiles are stiff. Some don’t reach the eyes. Show that.
Frowning — Sure, sadness. But also: disappointment, judgment, or the universal “I’m about to say something blunt, brace yourself.”
Lip biting — It’s not just nervousness, it’s pressure. Self-control. Anticipation. It’s the thing people do when they want to say something and decide, at the last second, not to.
╰ Eye movement
The window to the soul? Yeah. But also the window to when someone’s lying, flirting, or deeply trying not to cry in public.
Eye contact — Confidence or challenge. Eye contact can be gentle, curious, sharp like a blade. Sometimes it’s desperate: “Please understand me.”
Avoiding eye contact — Not always guilt. Sometimes it’s protectiveness. Sometimes it’s “I’m afraid if I look at you, you’ll see everything I’m trying to hide.”
Narrowed eyes — Calculating. Suspicious. The look someone gives when their brain’s saying “hmmm...” and it’s not a good hmm.
Wide eyes — Surprise, yes. But also sudden fear. The oh-God-it’s-happening look. Or when someone just found out they’re not as in control as they thought.
Eye roll — Classic. But try using it with tension, like when someone’s annoyed and trying very hard not to lose it in public.
╰ Gestures
This is where characters’ emotions go when their mouths are lying.
Crossing arms — Not just defensive. Sometimes it’s comfort. A self-hug. A barrier when the conversation is getting too personal.
Fidgeting — This is nervous energy with nowhere to go. Watch fingers tapping, rings spinning, sleeves tugged. It says: I’m not okay, but I’m trying not to show it.
Pointing — It’s a stab in the air. Aggressive, usually. But sometimes a desperate plea: Look. Understand this.
Open palms — Vulnerability. Honesty. Or a gesture that says, “I have nothing left to hide.”
Hand on chin — Not just thinking. It’s stalling. It’s delaying. It’s “I’m about to say something that might get me in trouble.”
╰ Posture and movement
These are your vibes. How someone occupies space says everything.
Slumped shoulders — Exhaustion. Defeat. Or someone trying to take up less space because they feel small.
Upright posture — Not always confidence. Sometimes it’s forced. Sometimes it’s a character trying really, really hard to look like they’re fine.
Pacing — Inner chaos externalized. Thinking so loudly it needs movement. Waiting for something. Running from your own thoughts.
Tapping foot — Tension. Irritation. Sometimes a buildup to an explosion.
Leaning in — Intimacy. Interest. Or subtle manipulation. (You matter to me. I’m listening. Let’s get closer.)
╰ Touch
This is intimacy in all its forms, comforting, protective, romantic, or invasive.
Hugging — Doesn’t always mean closeness. Could be a goodbye. Could be an apology they can’t say out loud. Could be awkward as hell.
Handshake — Stiff or crushing or slippery. How someone shakes hands says more than their words do.
Back patting — Casual warmth. Bro culture. Awkward emotional support when someone doesn’t know how to comfort but wants to try.
Clenched fists — Holding something in. Rage, tears, restraint. Fists mean tension that needs somewhere to go.
Hair tuck — Sure, flirtation or nerves. But also a subtle shield. A way to hide. A habit from childhood when someone didn’t want to be seen.
╰ Mirroring:
If two characters start syncing their body language, something is happening. Empathy. Chemistry. Shared grief. If someone shifts their body when the other does? Take notice. Other human bits that say everything without words...
Nodding — Not just yes. Could be an “I hear you,” even if they don’t agree. Could be the “keep going” nod. Could be patronizing if done too slow.
Crossed legs — Chill. Casual. Or closed-off, depending on context. Especially if their arms are crossed too.
Finger tapping — Time is ticking. Brain is pacing. Something’s coming.
Hand to chest — Sincerity, yes. But also shock. Or grounding—a subconscious attempt to stay present when everything feels like too much.
Tilting the head — Curiosity. Playfulness. Or someone listening so hard they forget to hide it.
Temple rub — “I can’t deal.” Could be physical pain. Could be stress. Could be emotional overload in disguise.
Chin stroking — Your classic “I’m judging you politely.” Often used in arguments between characters pretending to be calm.
Hands behind the back — Authority. Control. Or rigid fear masked as control.
Leaning body — This is the body betraying the brain. A tilt toward someone means they care—even if their words are cold.
Nail biting — Classic anxiety. But also habit. Something learned. Sometimes people bite because that’s how they self-soothe.
Squinting — Focusing. Doubting. Suspicion without confrontation.
Shifting weight — Uncomfortable. Unsure. Someone who wants to leave but doesn’t.
Covering the mouth — Guilt. Hesitation. The “should I say this?” moment before something big drops.
Body language is more honest than dialogue. If you really want to show your character’s internal world, don’t just give them lines. Give them a hand that won’t stop shaking. Give them a foot that won’t stop bouncing. Give them a mouth that smiles when their eyes don’t. And if you’re not sure what your character would do in a moment of fear, or love, or heartbreak, try acting it out yourself. Seriously. Get weird. Feel what your body does. Then write that down.
In real life, pretty much everybody reacts to tragedy differently. So why is it that every author has their pet reaction to tragedy that all their characters use? Not only is it unrealistic, but it takes away the chance for the characters’ different reactions to reveal things about themselves.
Possible reactions to tragedy (not an exhaustive list):
Distracting oneself with mindless activities
Distracting oneself with others’ humor
Distracting oneself by making jokes
Distracting oneself by reading/watching/playing stories
Distracting oneself with hard mental work
Distracting oneself with hard physical work
Distracting oneself with creative endeavors
Distracting oneself by chatting with friends about normal things
Talking to friends about the tragedy
Talking to authority figures about the tragedy
Talking anonymously with strangers about the tragedy (if possible)
Getting wrapped up in others’ problems
Staying unusually silent
Screaming
Crying loudly
Crying silently
Doing everything possible not to cry
Pacing
Taking unhealthy risks
Going for revenge against whoever one can blame
Punching random objects
Throwing random objects
Lashing out against friends and family members
Trying to prevent a similar tragedy from happening
Eating more than usual
Not eating
Taking mind-altering substances
Getting in unhealthy relationships
Isolating oneself
Obsessing over routine
Numbness combined with apathy
Numbness combined with going through one’s normal motions
Trying to get things back the way they were
Denial
No reaction at first but a reaction hits later in greater force
No reaction at all. Emotions relating to the tragedy just fail to load. Note that this can happen to anybody and does not mark a character as a sociopath.
Characters can have more than one reaction at the same time, one reaction after another, or different reactions to different tragedies.
While lethal injuries often take center stage, non-lethal injuries can create lasting effects on characters, shaping their journeys in unique ways. If you need a simple way to make your characters feel pain during a scene, here are some ideas:
Sprained Ankle
A common injury that can severely limit mobility, forcing characters to adapt their plans and experience frustration as they navigate their environment.
Rib Contusion
A painful bruise on the ribs can make breathing difficult and create tension, especially during action scenes, where every breath becomes a reminder of vulnerability.
Concussion
This brain injury can lead to confusion, dizziness, and mood swings, affecting a character’s judgment and creating a sense of unpredictability in their actions.
Fractured Finger
A broken finger can complicate tasks that require fine motor skills, causing frustration and emphasizing a character’s dependence on their hands.
Road Rash
The raw, painful skin resulting from a fall can symbolize struggle and endurance, highlighting a character's resilience in the face of physical hardship.
Shoulder Dislocation
This injury can be excruciating and often leads to an inability to use one arm, forcing characters to confront their limitations while adding urgency to their situation.
Deep Laceration
A cut that requires stitches can evoke visceral imagery and tension, especially if the character has to navigate their surroundings while in pain.
Burns
Whether from fire, chemicals, or hot surfaces, burns can cause intense suffering and lingering trauma, serving as a physical reminder of a character’s past mistakes or battles.
Pulled Muscle
This can create ongoing pain and restrict movement, providing an opportunity for characters to experience frustration or the need to lean on others for support.
Tendonitis
Inflammation of a tendon can cause chronic pain and limit a character's ability to perform tasks they usually take for granted, highlighting their struggle to adapt and overcome.
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helpful grammar tip! farther is for physical distance, further is for metaphorical distance, and father is for emotional distance!