Here’s An Invaluable Writing Resource For You.

Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain

coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)

panting (there’s a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)

keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)

trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)

sobbing (weeping is a synonym but i’ve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like “he let out a quiet sob”)

whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)

clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)

writhing/thrashing (maybe someone’s holding them down, or maybe they’re in bed alone)

crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)

dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)

wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)

doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they don’t actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)

heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someone’s breathing, ex. “heaving breaths” but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)

gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)

murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)

hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, that’s why i like to mix other words like these in)

stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak — when someone’s in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)

staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)

recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)

pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)

Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!

128 Words to Use Instead of ‘Very’

Writing Description Notes: Drinking

Updated 17th July 2024 More description notes

She shoved the cup to her lips and felt the warm sensation tickle her throat.

John sipped the cool drink, feeling it refresh him on a hot day.

Jane brought the cup to her lips, and the warm drink felt like a cozy hug.

The smell of the hot beverage surrounded them, promising comfort and relaxation.

John closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the rich taste as a little indulgence.

John held his warm mug between his hands, enjoying the simple pleasure on a chilly evening.

The strong smell of fresh coffee filled the air, waking up their senses.

The first sip made John feel satisfied, a brief escape into the joy of a good drink.

Internal conflict writing ideas

Not everything has to be fight scenes

—Losing something of emotional value and remembering its history and why it’s important to the character

—Reliving a traumatic event

—Running into an old friend who’s either completely changed since they’ve last seen each other or far too similar, leaving the character to wonder about how they’ve matured and grown compared to this other person

—Internally deciding if they should voice a fear or concern to the group, even if they might look silly or ridiculous doing so

—Friends vs family in terms of choosing who to follow and listen too

—Feeling unqualified to work on a project or be apart of the adventure

—Romantic feelings for someone they shouldn’t and dealing with how they should proceed internally. (THIS MEANS RIVALS OR FORBIDDEN ROMANCE. NOT ANYTHING ILLEGAL!!!)

—Thinking about mortality and death after being reminded of an late friend/family passing

—Being less talented at something years later when they used to be the best in that field

—Finding an old photo that carries much more emotional significance now than it did X years ago.

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

Words instead of sighed and frowned?

Sighed - let out a deep audible breath or made a similar sound (such as weariness or relief)

Exhaled - breathed out

Heaved - uttered with obvious effort or with a deep breath

Huffed - emitted puffs (as of breath); usually with indignation or scorn

Insufflated - blew on, into, or in (something)

Puffed - blew in short gusts; exhaled forcibly

Snorted - forced air violently through the nose with a rough harsh sound (to express scorn, anger, indignation, or surprise)

Snuffled - breathed through an obstructed nose with a sniffing sound

Suspired - drew a long deep breath; sighed

Frowned - contracted the brow in displeasure or concentration

Glared - stared angrily or fiercely

Glouted - (archaic) frowned, scowled

Glowered - looked or stared with sullen annoyance or anger

Grimaced - distorted one's face in an expression usually of pain, disgust, or disapproval

Loured - looked sullen; frowned

Moue - a twisting of the facial features in disgust or disapproval

Pouted - showed displeasure by thrusting out the lips or wearing a sullen expression

Scoffed - expressed scorn, derision, or contempt

Scowled - contracted the brow in an expression of displeasure

Sulked - silently went about in a bad mood

Hope this helps. If it inspires your writing in any way, please tag me, or send me a link. I would love to read your work!

More: Word Lists

self-editing for fiction writers

Showing vs Telling

Do you have any narrative summary, or are you bouncing from scene to scene without pausing for breath?

Characterization & Exposition

What information do your readers need in order to understand your story? At what point in the story do they need to know it?

How are you getting this info across to your readers? Is it all at once through a writer-to-reader lecture?

If exposition comes out through dialogue, is it through dialogue your characters would actually speak even if your readers didn’t have to know the information? In other words, does the dialogue exist only to put the information across?

Point of View

Look at your descriptions. Can you tell how your viewpoint character feels about what you’re describing?

Proportion

Look at descriptions. Are the details you give the ones your viewpoint character would notice?

Reread your first fifty pages, paying attention to what you spend your time on. Are the characters you develop most fully important to the ending? Do you use the locations you develop in detail later in the story? Do any of the characters play a surprising role in the ending? Could readers guess this from the amount of time you spend on them?

Dialogue

Can you get rid of some of your speaker attributions entirely? Try replacing some with beats. 

How often have you paragrapher your dialogue?Try paragraphing a little more often. 

See How it Sounds

Read your dialogue aloud. At some point, read aloud every word you write.

Be on the lookout for places where you are tempted to change the wording. 

How well do your characters understand each other? Do they ever mislead on another? Any outright lies? 

Interior Monologue

First, how much interior monologue do you have? If you seem to have a lot, check to see whether some is actually dialogue description in disguise. Are you using interior monologue to show things that should be told?

Do you have thinker attributions you should get rid of (by  recasting into 3rd person, by setting the interior monologue off in its own paragraph or in italics, or by simply dropping the attribution)

Do your mechanics match your narrative distance?(Thinker attributions, italics, first person when your narrative is in third?)

Easy Beats

How many beats do you have? How often do you interrupt your dialogue?

What are your beats describing? Familiar every day actions, such as dialling a telephone or buying groceries? How often do you repeat a beat? Are your characters always looking out of windows or lighting cigarettes? 

Do your beats help illuminate your characters? Are they individual or general actions anyone might do under just about any circumstances?

Do your beats fit the rhythm of your dialogue? Read it aloud and find out

Breaking up is easy to do

Look for white space. How much is there? Do you have paragraphs that go on as much as a page in length? 

Do you have scenes with NO longer paragraphs? Remember what you’re after is the right balance. 

Have your characters made little speeches to one another? 

If you’re writing a novel, are all your scenes or chapters exactly the same length? -> brief scenes or chapters can give you more control over your story. They can add to your story’s tension. Longer chapters can give it a more leisurely feels. If scene or chapter length remains steady while the tension of the story varies considerably, your are passing up the chance to reinforce the tension. 

Once is usually enough

Reread your manuscript, keeping in mind what you are trying to do with each paragraph–what character point you’re trying to establish, what sort of mood you’re trying to create, what background you’re trying to suggest. In how many different ways are you accomplishing each of these ends?

If more than one way, try reading the passage without the weakest approach and see if it itsn’t more effective. 

How about on a chapter level? Do you have more than one chapter that accomplishes the same thing?

Is there a plot device or stylistic effect you are particularly pleased with? How often do you use it?

Keep on the lookout for unintentional word repeats. The more striking a word or phrase is, the more jarring it will be if repeated 

Sophistication 

How many -ing and as phrases do you write? The only ones that count are the ones that place a bit of action in a subordinate clause

How about -ly adverbs?

Do you have a lot of short sentences, both within your dialogue and within your description and narration? Try stringing some of them together with commas

A brief guide on how to punctuate dialogue

Punctuation in dialogue is one of the easiest things to get wrong in writing, and, frustratingly, it can be hard to find decent teaching resources. So if you’re struggling to tell whether to use a comma or a period, this guide is for you. 

1) Every time a new character speaks, the first line of their dialogue must be set apart by a paragraph break. 

Right: 

“I think Jeff Bezos might be a lizard,” said Bo. 

“Not this again,” I replied.

Wrong: 

“I think Jeff Bezos might be a lizard,” said Bo. “Not this again,” I replied. 

2) Only direct dialogue needs quotation marks. Direct dialogue is used when someone is speaking. Indirect dialogue is a summary of what was said.

Direct:

“Come on, Jeff, get ‘em!”

Indirect:

He told Jeff to go get ‘em.

3) Punctuation always goes inside quotation marks. 

Right:

“What would you prefer?”

“A goat cheese salad.”

Wrong:

“What would you prefer”?

“A goat cheese salad”.

4) If you follow or start a quote with a dialogue tag, you end the quote with a  comma. 

Right: 

“Welcome to the internet,” he said.

She asked, “Can I look around?”

Wrong:

“Welcome to the internet.” He said. 

She asked. “Can I look around?”

5) But, if you follow or start a quote with an action, you use a period. 

Right:

“Welcome to the internet.” He smiled. 

Her eyes flicked to the screen. “Can I look around?”

Wrong:

“Welcome to the internet,” he smiled. 

Her eyes flicked to the screen, “Can I look around?”

6) When breaking up dialogue with a tag, use two commas. Or, if the first piece of dialogue is a complete sentence, use a comma and then a period. 

“Yes,” he replied, “an avocado.” (split sentence)

“I hoped it wouldn’t come to this,” she said. “I loved that avocado.” (full sentence)

7) You may have noticed there are two different quotation marks ( ‘ and “). And when putting a quote inside a quote, you need to use the opposite style of quotation. 

Roger looked up. “And then he said, ‘I didn’t steal the avocado.’”

Or:

Roger looked up. ‘And then he said, “I didn’t steal the avocado.”’

(Using ‘ or “ often depends on personal choice. Although Brits like to use ‘ and Americans tend to use “ for their main dialogue)

So that’s my short guide to the main rules when punctuating dialogue! If you have any questions about less common rules, let me know. 

Quick Guide to Punctuating Dialogue

“This is a line of dialogue,” she said.

“This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a speech tag.”

“This is a full sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence.”

“This is a sentence followed by an action.” He smiled. “They’re separate sentences, because I didn’t speak by smiling.”

Seven years after, I see you again 😚