Punctuation in dialogue is one of the easiest things to get wrong in writing, and, frustratingly, it can be hard to find decent teaching resources. So if you’re struggling to tell whether to use a comma or a period, this guide is for you.
1) Every time a new character speaks, the first line of their dialogue must be set apart by a paragraph break.
Right:
“I think Jeff Bezos might be a lizard,” said Bo.
“Not this again,” I replied.
Wrong:
“I think Jeff Bezos might be a lizard,” said Bo. “Not this again,” I replied.
2) Only direct dialogue needs quotation marks. Direct dialogue is used when someone is speaking. Indirect dialogue is a summary of what was said.
Direct:
“Come on, Jeff, get ‘em!”
Indirect:
He told Jeff to go get ‘em.
3) Punctuation always goes inside quotation marks.
Right:
“What would you prefer?”
“A goat cheese salad.”
Wrong:
“What would you prefer”?
“A goat cheese salad”.
4) If you follow or start a quote with a dialogue tag, you end the quote with a comma.
Right:
“Welcome to the internet,” he said.
She asked, “Can I look around?”
Wrong:
“Welcome to the internet.” He said.
She asked. “Can I look around?”
5) But, if you follow or start a quote with an action, you use a period.
Right:
“Welcome to the internet.” He smiled.
Her eyes flicked to the screen. “Can I look around?”
Wrong:
“Welcome to the internet,” he smiled.
Her eyes flicked to the screen, “Can I look around?”
6) When breaking up dialogue with a tag, use two commas. Or, if the first piece of dialogue is a complete sentence, use a comma and then a period.
“Yes,” he replied, “an avocado.” (split sentence)
“I hoped it wouldn’t come to this,” she said. “I loved that avocado.” (full sentence)
7) You may have noticed there are two different quotation marks ( ‘ and “). And when putting a quote inside a quote, you need to use the opposite style of quotation.
Roger looked up. “And then he said, ‘I didn’t steal the avocado.’”
Or:
Roger looked up. ‘And then he said, “I didn’t steal the avocado.”’
(Using ‘ or “ often depends on personal choice. Although Brits like to use ‘ and Americans tend to use “ for their main dialogue)
So that’s my short guide to the main rules when punctuating dialogue! If you have any questions about less common rules, let me know.
There’s a fic on fanfiction(.)net that I’ve kept tabs on for years to see if it’s been updated or not. While I’m no longer even in the fandom it’s written for, it just has one of the greatest storylines I’ve ever read. Last time it was updated was 2011.
The other day, I decided to reread the entire thing and leave a very in-depth review of what I thought of each chapter. I also mentioned how I started reading it when I was 13 and am now 21, but always came back to see if it was ever finished because I loved it so dearly.
Today, said author sent me a private message saying that her analytics showed that the story was still getting views even after all these years, but no one ever bothered to leave reviews other than “update soon!!!”, so she never felt motivated enough to finish it. She said that me reviewing every single chapter with lengthy paragraphs made her cry and meant the world to her. She also mentioned that she felt encouraged to write the two remaining chapters needed to complete the story and that she would send me a message the night before she updates the fic.
I’m literally sobbing. I’m so excited :’)
Please always remember to leave a review when reading fanfiction!!! It means a lot to a writer.
Sometimes another person is involved, but the truly talented whumpee can do it all on their own:
Falling out of a tree. Leads to broken bones, bruises from hitting other branches, and concussions
Food poisoning. Enough said.
Ice over a lake cracking. Full submersion leads to hypothermia. Or just a foot in the water leads to a bad case of frostbite
Animal bites. The ragged edges are hard to sew up leading to scarring. They get infected so easily, leading to fever and a long slow recovery
Snake bites. The properties of snake venom vary depending on the snake’s usual prey and predators. This means they offer a wide variety of symptoms to whump your characters with
Spider bites. See above.
Car accident. So many options. Bruising, internal bleeding, broken bones, bloody nose, whiplash, trauma, etc.
Being thrown from a horse. The old-school version of a car accident
writing doesn’t get easier.
sometimes you have to write for the sake of writing.
plot should be allowed to change.
the story in your mind will never perfectly translate into text and that’s okay.
characters change, they’re supposed to change.
you’re supposed to enjoy what you write.
educate yourself about the different cultures you write about.
your friends shouldn’t be your critics.
the side character you love so much? sometimes they need to be cut from the story.
write what you want to read and not what you think people want to read.
there is no age limit in publishing, you have all the time in the world.
not every idea will grow into a story, sometimes you need to let go.
love your story, because it will be just the two of you for a while.
it’s okay to not write every day, that doesn’t make you less of a writer.
Choosing a noun well will allow you to cut adjectives. This tightens your sentences and clarifies the meaning:
a young tree -> sapling
a single-storey house -> a bungalow
a young female horse -> a filly
her long thick hair -> her mane
a prudish person -> a prude.
his bald scalp -> his pate
an unpleasant smell -> a stench
a small child -> a toddler
a brown-haired woman -> a brunette
Of course, the choice of noun depends on context, but if you can use one word, why use two?
Writing style. If you have a lush writing style, you would use more adjectives compared to a terse one. However, more than three adjectives in a sentence will slow down the story.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* . ───
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(This is from my own personal experience as a Chinese person who’s better at English, my “first” language, than Chinese, my “second” language.)
When your character is going speak unintentionally in their second language instead of their first one: • When they’re tired, they could slip up and accidentally start a sentence with their second language. Generally, though, they realise and correct themselves before finishing the sentence • When they were just thinking in their second language/ talking to someone in their second language. The shift from one language to the other is where they could get caught up • If they were startled, after just speaking/thinking in their second language.
Keep in mind though, that people very experienced in both languages will probably not be tripped up as often. Your character who has been speaking their second language for 10 years is going to trip up a lot less than your character who’s only known their second language for 5 years.
Unrealistic scenarios: • Slipping into their second language in the middle of a sentence accidentally, unless they forgot a word they needed to use Unrealistic: “Ok so you’re going to go down the hall and— 他妈的! I forgot my homework on my desk! Gotta run and get it” (The Chinese is a swear) Realistic: “We’re going to need a… 车? What do you guys call that again?” (The Chinese character is the one for car)
• Suddenly saying something in their second language, when they were just conversing in their first language. There’s a mental switch you need to make when changing from a conversation in one language to a conversation in another which makes those situations pretty unlikely. Person 1: “Could you send the powerpoint to me?” Person 2: “Just did that. Did you get the email yet?” Person 1: “我– oh whoops. Sorry! Yeah, I just got it” (Chinese character is the character for “I”)
Bilingual things you could include in your writing: • Thinking in one language when doing one specific thing. For instance, I almost always do Maths in Chinese. The whole structure of the language and how the words for numbers work out means it’s a lot easier in Chinese than English.
• A conversation that’s a mess of two languages all mashed together. Frankenlanguages. As stated before, I’m personally better at English than Chinese. So, when I’m speaking in Chinese, it’s often with English words interspersed throughout when I forget the Chinese word. In that case, there is no mental shift between languages needed. Instead, you pull from both languages at once. Ex: “我今天在学校的时候跟我的 Chemistry 老师 discuss 我的essay on the effects of acid rain on 咯房的 roofs.” (Translation: today, at school, my Chemistry teacher and I discussed my essay on the effects of acid rain on the roofs of buildings.)
• Your character could speak one language at home and another language when at work/school/with friends. For example, I speak Chinese when I’m at home with my Chinese family and I speak English everywhere else because I live in Canada. This makes for interesting situations where, even though I am highly proficient in English, I lack some basic vocabulary. What is a blouse? Not really sure to be honest. I used to get “dress” and “skirt” confused a lot because I only used Chinese to refer to those things and thus never built up my English vocabulary in those areas. I’ve had to awkwardly describe the fruit I was looking for in stores before because I didn’t know the English name for it.
Anyway, if you need help with writing a bilingual character, feel free to shoot me an ask!
I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.
IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested
INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified
GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed
FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested
JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed
LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed
LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned
ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore
SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized
ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged
NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered
SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted
FIRST OFF Began
LASTLY Concluded Concurred
WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted
HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed
WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved
BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned
ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted
CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised
LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed
BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged
FINE Consented Decided
TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered
JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched
WASN’T ME Denied Lied
EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened
BORED Droned Sighed
SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered
DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached
OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled
ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered
ANNOYING Nagged
I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured
I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled
I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered
OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered
SURPRISE BITCH Revealed
IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted
BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased
Updated 17th July 2024 More description notes
She shoved the cup to her lips and felt the warm sensation tickle her throat.
John sipped the cool drink, feeling it refresh him on a hot day.
Jane brought the cup to her lips, and the warm drink felt like a cozy hug.
The smell of the hot beverage surrounded them, promising comfort and relaxation.
John closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the rich taste as a little indulgence.
John held his warm mug between his hands, enjoying the simple pleasure on a chilly evening.
The strong smell of fresh coffee filled the air, waking up their senses.
The first sip made John feel satisfied, a brief escape into the joy of a good drink.
New Part: 10 Lethal Injury Ideas
If you need a simple way to make your characters feel pain, here are some ideas:
1. Sprained Ankle
A common injury that can severely limit mobility. This is useful because your characters will have to experience a mild struggle and adapt their plans to their new lack of mobiliy. Perfect to add tension to a chase scene.
2. Rib Contusion
A painful bruise on the ribs can make breathing difficult, helping you sneak in those ragged wheezes during a fight scene. Could also be used for something sport-related! It's impactful enough to leave a lingering pain but not enough to hinder their overall movement.
3. Concussions
This common brain injury can lead to confusion, dizziness, and mood swings, affecting a character’s judgment heavily. It can also cause mild amnesia.
I enjoy using concussions when you need another character to subtly take over the fight/scene, it's an easy way to switch POVs. You could also use it if you need a 'cute' recovery moment with A and B.
4. Fractured Finger
A broken finger can complicate tasks that require fine motor skills. This would be perfect for characters like artists, writers, etc. Or, a fighter who brushes it off as nothing till they try to throw a punch and are hit with pain.
5. Road Rash
Road rash is an abrasion caused by friction. Aka scraping skin. The raw, painful sting resulting from a fall can be a quick but effective way to add pain to your writing. Tip: it's great if you need a mild injury for a child.
6. Shoulder Dislocation
This injury can be excruciating and often leads to an inability to use one arm, forcing characters to confront their limitations while adding urgency to their situation. Good for torture scenes.
7. Deep Laceration
A deep laceration is a cut that requires stitches. As someone who got stitches as a kid, they really aren't that bad! A 2-3 inch wound (in length) provides just enough pain and blood to add that dramatic flair to your writing while not severely deterring your character.
This is also a great wound to look back on since it often scars. Note: the deeper and wider the cut the worse your character's condition. Don't give them a 5 inch deep gash and call that mild.
8. Burns
Whether from fire, chemicals, or hot surfaces, burns can cause intense suffering and lingering trauma. Like the previous injury, the lasting physical and emotional trauma of a burn is a great wound for characters to look back on.
If you want to explore writing burns, read here.
9. Pulled Muscle
This can create ongoing pain and restrict movement, offering a window to force your character to lean on another. Note: I personally use muscle related injuries when I want to focus more on the pain and sprains to focus on a lack of mobility.
10. Tendonitis
Inflammation of a tendon can cause chronic pain and limit a character's ability to perform tasks they usually take for granted. When exploring tendonitis make sure you research well as this can easily turn into a more severe injury.
This is a quick, brief list of ideas to provide writers inspiration. Since it is a shorter blog, I have not covered the injuries in detail. This is inspiration, not a thorough guide. Happy writing! :)
Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!
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Dream sequence/nightmare
Flashback/resurfaced memories
Revealed by psychic reading Whumpee’s mind
Found footage/pictures
Someone finally asks and they explain
As the reason behind a thought process/assumption/belief
Whumper shows up and taunts them
Scars
Through conditioned behaviour
Finding an old journal
Hints dropped in conversation
Have someone who knows tell someone who doesn’t
• • •
Feel free to add others!