Being A Hypocrite Is Really Tiring, Pretending To Care Takes A Toll On A Person.

I hate your guts but here’s some chocolate flavored Yoplait to help you through it.

Private investigator playing for both sides, I disappear people and find missing people. And sometimes for kicks, I’ll just disappear myself.

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

There are two types of people:

Type A: Life is a mess but every app on the phone is categorized into neat folders and knows exactly which folder to navigate to for an app.

Type B: Got life figured out but the phone is an unholy mess waiting to erupt like a dormant volcano. Knows where to find stuff, but anyone else trying to navigate is just heading towards a level 7 migraine.

I’m still the same asshole I was 10 years ago, I’ve just got bills to pay now.

My sister just tried to screenshot her favorite kpop star cutout onto a background screen for a game on Twitter for no reason and ended up dialing emergency services.

Consequences.

Wei WuXian: *breathes*

Everyone else (mostly Jiang Cheng): Lord Almighty above, please give me the strength not to roll my eyes and strike this man down.

Them: Can you check whether this specific transaction would be governed by the donation laws or would it be considered as a loan favourable to our clients?

Me: I’m only on fractions.

That’s it. That’s the joke. Thank you for coming.

Professions BL has introduced me to over the years:

Engineers

Doctors

C-Suite everything (CEO, CTO, CFO)

Gym Instructors

Vets

Cafe waiters / owners

Millionaire rich kid (daddy’s little boy gets paid a hefty sum every month to ride around in a souped up coupe)

Businessman (shady or legitimate, who cares, look he’s wearing a turtleneck)

Intelligence operatives

Bar tenders

Laundry Operators

Team manager (of what and why exactly? We don’t know, but he manages a team)

Salesperson

Hackers (ethical or redeemable)

Criminal (street and organised)

Creative Director

Painters

Pornographer

Dancer

Loan sharks (probably the only one that caught me off guard)

Lawyer

Dentists (because dentists are not doctors)

Hairdresser

Stewards/pursers

Fashion Designer

Interior designer

Model

Aircraft technicians

Tutor

Deliveryman

Makeup/Skin care promoter (for those brand placements)

Actor (theatre and film)

Artist manager/creative director

Producer

Race car driver (omegaverse included)

Shareholder (it is a career path if you’re rich enough right?)

Bodyguard

Graphic designer

Farmer

Architect

Meteorologist (and a horny one at that, who would’ve thought huh?)

Game Developer

Cultivators

Grim reapers (even a pre-ordained one counts)

Landlord

Political Activists

Athletes

Writers

Ceramic artist

Filmmakers

Videographers

Photographers

Boom operators

Singer

Editor

Manga artist

Ice skater

Producer

Ghost (I don’t know either.)

Project manager

Chef

Kpop idol

Teacher

Influencer

Gamer

Military officer

Supermarket owner

Real estate broker

Medical examiner

Gangster (a constant favorite)

Police officers

and

A two timing snitch (you read that right, there’s always one so it’s gotta be a paying gig.).

It’s a diverse bunch y’all.

If you can guess the bl from these positions, congratulations, you’ve watched all of them probably.

(I ran out of tags by the way)

My sister @ my cat:

“Don’t you have a hobby?”

“Hey....hey.....HEYYYYY.......DIPSHIT”

*Pats the cat aggressively*

“Is she pregnant? She’s fat.”

“Did she eat a dumpster?”

I came here for the jokes, I got indoctrinated into a cursed cult instead.