Professions BL Has Introduced Me To Over The Years:

Kids are fucking weird dude. A four year old just came into my room to check if I’m working as I said and corrected my pronunciation because she thinks I pronounce ‘girls’ wrong. She then proceeds to just leave with a ‘good night’ and a wave.

It’s 7 pm.

She has done this 5 times in a row now, where she just comes into my room, checks on me and then leaves after a couple of questions.

I think the FBI might be missing their latest recruit.

Wei WuXian: *breathes*

Everyone else (mostly Jiang Cheng): Lord Almighty above, please give me the strength not to roll my eyes and strike this man down.

My sister @ my cat:

“Don’t you have a hobby?”

“Hey....hey.....HEYYYYY.......DIPSHIT”

*Pats the cat aggressively*

“Is she pregnant? She’s fat.”

“Did she eat a dumpster?”

Me: I don’t have any seemingly recognizable human emotions that you could pin me under. I’m impenetrable and indecipherable. The ultimate warrior archetype.

Also me: listens to 6lack at 2am imagining a bad breakup and craving a booty call to supress these sudden feelings.

Huh.

Good morning to everyone but Wen Chao. He can get his from the Xuanwu tortoise.

Wei WuXian:

*Looks for LAN ZHAN all the time in the first life*

*Always chasing after LWJ in the first life*

*Got branded for a dude*

*Always saving and helping LWJ in the first life*

*Seeks him out even after death and reincarnation*

*Constantly giving him ‘eye-fucking invitations’*

I mean he lusts after him worse than any straight couple flirting I’ve seen...it’s a wonder he didn’t make LWJ’s block list.

And LWJ suffers through all of this and more, ever so patient and generous.

I bet if he had a phone, LWJ would be his emergency contact which would of course make JC extra mad.

Even the gods went, you’re not a villainous soul but please go find your man, he’s pining too hard on earth.

Meanwhile, the Untamed:

Two bro’s chilling in a bath tub five feet apart because they’re what? Not Fuckin’ Gay.

Watching the GameStop meltdown brought out the economics nerd in me that I lost in high school right around when microbiology seemed like the coolest shit around.

Watch me explain how a Reddit forum is saving the economy but also possibly shutting it down. Don’t get me wrong, the bubble will burst at some point soon, I just hope it swings the pendulum against the hedgefucks.

My favourite part about this entire thing is the public realization that Wall Street isn’t as rational or analytical as people thought, there isn’t really a lot of brainpower going into this as they want you to think. It was, is and has always been a dick-measuring contest among those who have money to throw around. If those are the rules, then let everyone play.

If they keep holding, this would be big for retail investors. But also for brokerage firms as the next wave of experimental, hungry and driven individual investors might not be so kind.

Power to the people. Make them bleed green.

I run on sex, sleep, chocolate and anger and if that isn’t wholesome I don’t know what is.

I hate your guts but here’s some chocolate flavored Yoplait to help you through it.

Do I have an exam tomorrow? Yes.

Will I sit down and finish my reading and be proactive and prepare for tomorrow? No.

Or will I ingest toxic amounts of coffee and chocolate and leave the rest up to whichever deity the internet believes in to help me out? Absolutely.