I Hate Your Guts But Here’s Some Chocolate Flavored Yoplait To Help You Through It.

Do I have an exam tomorrow? Yes.

Will I sit down and finish my reading and be proactive and prepare for tomorrow? No.

Or will I ingest toxic amounts of coffee and chocolate and leave the rest up to whichever deity the internet believes in to help me out? Absolutely.

“Hey fuckface, get off my property.”

“Not until you return my limited edition Ben 10 watch with the camo strap.”

“Already sold it, what ya gonna do?”

“Hope you like your phone flushed down the toilet.”

Exit stage right.

I’m right and I should say it

Watching those restoration videos on YouTube and commenting hoping that one of those creators will entertain the possibility of restoring the shattered pieces of my sanity back together once this year ends.

I’m still the same asshole I was 10 years ago, I’ve just got bills to pay now.

Italians were hella right in combining pasta, olive oil and garlic. I’m convinced that they’ve got eternal truths hidden in their cuisines at this rate.

Just add pecorino to something and your day is made. Or black pepper. Or some fresh tomatoes. And that’s it. Keep it simple and fresh and heavenly.

I’ve been throwing money at the wrong things my whole life.

Watching big cats meow and purr feels weird because it would be similar to watching mob bosses do the baby voice.

I run on sex, sleep, chocolate and anger and if that isn’t wholesome I don’t know what is.

Kids are fucking weird dude. A four year old just came into my room to check if I’m working as I said and corrected my pronunciation because she thinks I pronounce ‘girls’ wrong. She then proceeds to just leave with a ‘good night’ and a wave.

It’s 7 pm.

She has done this 5 times in a row now, where she just comes into my room, checks on me and then leaves after a couple of questions.

I think the FBI might be missing their latest recruit.

My sister just tried to screenshot her favorite kpop star cutout onto a background screen for a game on Twitter for no reason and ended up dialing emergency services.

Consequences.

If I had a dollar for everytime Diego said ‘grassy knoll’ or ‘JFK’ this season I could probably raise my own batch of 7 maladjusted super humans with an ape and a robot.

That said, fuck that monocled piece of shit Reggie Hargreeves.

Edit: Just finished watching season 2 and well, I manifested the second batch there didn’t I? Still fuck Reggie.