(We’re taking a calculus final. The TA is a well-known Lord of the Rings fan, and we’ve had running LotR jokes all semester.)
TA: “Okay, guys, everyone look at me. We’ve been over the rules, but just in case: no notes, pencil your answers in on the scantron sheet, and graphing calculators only – no more ‘can I just used my cell phone’ nonsense.”
Student: “[TA's name], my calculator batteries just died! What should I do?”
TA: “Here, I’ve got a big box of spares.”
Student: *struggling* “I can’t get this packaging open…”
Student 2: “Here, I’ve got a pocket knife.”
TA: “And I’ve got a pair of scissors if you need them.”
Student 3: *from the back of the room* “OR MY AXE!”
(Everyone starts laughing.)
TA: “The only axes allowed on the exam are in the graph section.”
(Everyone groans.)
TA: “Oh, come on, you’re in a math class. Deal with the math jokes.”
(The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)
Professor: “Tolkien jokes already, [TA's name]?”
TA: “Hey, I didn’t start it.”
(The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)
Professor: “But I’m about to finish it. [TA], take these exams down the left flank. [Proctor 1], follow the desks down the center. [Proctor 2], take your exams right, along the wall.”
(At this point, many of the students have realized where this is going: Theoden’s lines from ‘Return of the King.’)
Professor: “Forth, and fear no problems! Solve! Solve, students of calculus! Points shall be taken, scores shall be splintered! A pencil day! A red-ink day! Until three thirty!”
(The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)
Professor: “Solve now! Solve now! Solve to good grades and the class ending! MAAATH!”
Entire Class: “MAAATH!”
Professor: “MAAAAATH!”
Entire Class: “MAAAAAATH!”
Professor: “Forth, exam-takers!”
(The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)
Professor: *at the end of the email* “PS: I appreciate all of you who wrote in their evaluations that I was the one professor to rule them all, but the best one yet was the student who called me ‘Mathrandir.’”
I finished it! All of the Seven Seas English translation of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation / MDZS / 魔道祖师! I don’t know if I’m happy or sad. I think I need to listen to the ♥️Audio Drama♥️ again.
This volume flowed a lot more smoothly than Volume 4, but there are still a few places I tripped and had to look back at the Chinese. Here they are, plus an unhelpful comment about the inaccuracy of one of the beautiful illustrations:
More under the cut
Just in case anyone can’t remember the names of all the musical instruments.
This is a minor word-choice quibble, but here it is. I think LWJ limped, as he was not hobbled, just injured.
Re my note at the top of this page: I think it’s similar in Western culture (I know I’ve been steeped in xianxia maybe too deeply when I forget the culture that I’m actually living in), but in Chinese culture it’s especially important to greet people by name/title, especially when you first see them, and again when you separate. It’s a simple, sweet way to acknowledge that you see them and respect them and appreciate them and support them; if they need help with homework or with reaching a high shelf, you’re here to help; if you’re the one who gets help and gifts and tasty treats, then you’re showing that you appreciate everything about them (and you’re ready for more cookies).
Each time I walk into my house it’s like a game of hide-and-seek where I have to find each family member and declare my presence (and demand affection in return); and each time I leave I yell “I’m leaving!” from the door (because I’m late and must go quickly!) so that they know that I am no longer available to help, but I will miss them all and love them from afar.
The illustrations are gorgeous. I don’t know if they would be so gorgeous if JC was holding his little umbrella overhead, like in the text, but you must admit that it’s quite a flex that JC can beat up many people with Zidian while keeping his head and shoulders dry.
You all remember the family / martial-family nomenclature, right?
MDZS Masterlist.
All the Books I'm Annotating Masterlist.
As promised, here is my post about the names of the 5 main sects. Along with some possibilities for English-language names. This is a long-ass post, so please bear with me:
Keep reading
Let us all take a moment to appreciate Lan Wangji’s beauty as described in the novel.
Since he was young, he has always been regarded as a model cultivator alongside his brother. He is famous for his talents, his manners, and his handsome face. He’s generally described to have a pristine face with graceful and elegant features and light eyes almost like colored glass. He has a slender yet muscular figure and he stands tall at 188 cm (from MXTX’s footnote in Chapter 115). However, he is described to have a straight face; at times, even described to look like he was always mourning. His aura is likened to smooth moonlight and other times, to snow and ice. He is second only to his brother Lan Xichen in the (unofficial) list of most handsome cultivators of their generation due to his stern and aloof personality around most people.
Here is a compilation of official art used for the novel and audio drama (since they are done by the same artists) along with descriptions from the novel as narrated not only by Wei Wuxian throughout the entire time he has known Lan Wangji, but also by random people from the cultivation society and even by the average noncultivator humans. Also used some screencaps from the donghua, manhua, and live action since there have yet to be any illustrations for some.
Illustration for the Official Vietnamese translation set by Changyang
Chapter 13: Refinement Wei WuXian made the sound of an oh and asked, “Is he a lad who looks quite pretty?”
Jiang Cheng sneered, “Is there anyone who looks ugly in the GusuLan Sect? His sect doesn’t even accept disciples with unclean features. If you can, find me one who has an average face.”
Wei WuXian emphasized, “Very pretty.” He pointed at his head, “White from top to bottom, wearing a forehead ribbon, and carrying a silver sword on his back. He looked rather handsome, but with his straight face, he looked like he was mourning.”
When Wei WuXian turned his head, he could see the side of Lan WangJi’s face. His lashes were long, appearing to be extremely delicate and elegant. His posture was also very upright, looking straight ahead.
Cover art of Season 1 Episode 5 of audio drama by A-Xin
Chapter 125: Lotus Seedpod Extra (Yunmeng Side) He then turned to Jiang YanLi. “Shijie, do you know Lan WangJi?”
Jiang YanLi said, “I do. He’s the Second Young Master Lan who is said to be very handsome and talented, isn’t he? Is he really that handsome?”
Wei WuXian, “He’s very handsome!”
Jiang YanLi, “Compared to you?”
Wei WuXian thought it over and replied, “Maybe more handsome than me, just the slightest bit.”
Wei WuXian raised two of his fingers, a tiny distance in between them. Jiang YanLi smiled as she cleaned up the plate. “Then he must be really handsome. Making new friends is a good thing, you can now go out to play with each other when you’re free.”
Chapter 125: Lotus Seedpod Extra (Gusu Side)
In this disorderly and bustling town, the entirety of his being truly couldn’t fit in, with the way he seemed untouched by a speck of dust and the fact that he was carrying a sword. The stall vendors, farmers, and bystanders rarely saw someone from such high class.
Cover art for season 2 episode 11 of audio drama by Qianerbai
Chapter 55: Courage The glow of the firelight reflected against Lan WangJi’s face as though he was made of warm jade. It illuminated, with utmost clarity, the tearstreaks that ran down his cheek, as well.
Cover art for Season 3 Episode 2 of the audio drama by Changyang
Chapter 69: Departure Lan XiChen and Lan WangJi sat in an upright posture on two snowy steeds as they led the GusuLan Sect’s riding formation slowly forward. The two both wore swords at their waists and arrows on their backs. White robes and forehead ribbons flying in the air, they seemed to be deities themselves. Their snow white boots were so immaculate that it could even be cleaner than the other peoples’ clothes. The Two Jades of Lan truly were a flawless pair of jade, almost as though they were carved out of ice. As soon as they entered, even the air seemed to have become refreshing.
Cover art of Season 3 Episode 3 of audio drama by Changyang
Chapter 71: Departure From there, a white-robed man wearing a forehead ribbon slowly approached, carrying with him a sword and a zither.
The man’s features were of unparalleled grace, but frost and snow seemed to surround his figure. Before he had even drawn nearer, the cultivators quieted on their own, meeting his eyes in respect. The more well-known ones bravened up and went forth to salute him, “HanGuang-Jun.”
Illustration from the MV of audio drama ending song 人间纵我, illustrated by Changyang
Chapter 7: Arrogance He had an aura of smooth moonlight. The seven-stringed zither that he carried on his back was narrower than most. Its body was black, made using wood of soft color.
The man wore a forehead ribbon with cloud patterns. His skin was fair, features both refined and elegant, as if he was a piece of polished jade. The color of his eyes was especially light, like they were made of colored glass, causing his gaze to be overly distant. His expression held the traces of frost and snow, stern to the degree of being stiff, unwavering even as he saw Wei WuXian’s ridiculous face.
There wasn’t a single spec of dust or wrinkled spot on him, from his head to his feet. It was impossible to find any fault with his appearance. Even so, two capitalized words jumped into Wei WuXian’s mind.
Mourning clothes!
Mourning clothes, indeed. Although all of the clans in the cultivation world used extravagant words to describe the GusuLan Sect’s uniform as the best-looking uniform and Lan WangJi as an incomparable beauty who only appeared once in a blue moon, nothing could help the bitter facial expression that made him look as though his wife had passed away.
[..]
Lan WangJi was silent, staring straight ahead, standing motionlessly in front of Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng was already exceptionally handsome, but as they stood face to face with each other, he still seemed a few degrees inferior.
Cover for audio drama extra “Lan Wangji - Accompanying you to sleep”
Chapter 65: Tenderness Lan WangJi was reading a book, his head down. A paper lantern was on the corner of the desk. Against the soft light of the fire, his face was even more like a piece of fine jade. Even his indifferent expression and his light eyes seemed to have been glazed a shade warmer. He was so beautiful that it seemed unreal. Caught by the moment, Wei WuXian was somehow entranced. Involuntarily, he inched closer.
Chapter 122: Gatecrashing (Extra) While he was sitting on Lan WangJi’s legs, he said, “HanGuang-Jun, your face truly is a total scam. Everyone thinks of you as someone with a clear mind who harbors no lust, a noble and chaste figure. I feel so wronged.”
Illustration for the audio drama season 3 poster by Changyang
Chapter 87: Loyalty Lan WangJi’s figure was slender. He seemed to be quite the scholarly young master, but his power wasn’t to be disregarded. Not only was his arm strength shocking, his lower body was steady too. But, after all, it was a grown man who jumped from the tree, so although he caught Wei WuXian, he staggered slightly, walking a step backward. Immediately, however, he steadied himself.
Chapter 92: Longing The owner, “Really! No wonder. I was thinking you two good-looking figures must’ve come from a watery and spiritual place like the Jiangnan* region, Young Masters.”
Lan WangJi seemed as if he heard nothing. Wei WuXian laughed, “I can’t compare to him. He’s much more handsome than I am.”
The owner had quite a good mouth. She grinned, “He’s handsome, you’re cute. It’s different, but both are pretty! Oh, right.”
Would like to note that the physical appearance of a person with high cultivation is preserved at its prime. (Wen RuoHan’s level of cultivation was extremely high, so of course his corporal body was also perfectly maintained in its prime. –from Chapter 49: Guile)
Screencap from MDZS donghua season 2
Screencap from MDZS manhua
Chapter 11: Refinement The person in the spring was quite tall. His skin was fair and his hair was black, wet and gathered to one side. The lines which outlined his waist and back were smooth, graceful yet holding strength. In simpler terms, he was a beauty.
However, Wei WuXian was definitely not stunned and unable to avert his gaze because he was looking at a bathing beauty. No matter how beautiful he was, he wouldn’t actually be attracted to men.
Really, it was the things on the person’s back that made him unable to avert his gaze.
There were dozens of intersecting scars.
[]
At the moment, the person in the spring turned around. Beneath his collarbone and near his heart, there was a clear sear.
Chapter 94: Longing The distinct Adam’s Apple, fair-colored skin, and smooth, aesthetic muscles flashed before his eyes so clearly that he didn’t even dare look at them straight, eyes averting slightly. He swallowed unconsciously, somehow feeling a bit parched. Wei WuXian clenched his teeth.
GIF from audio drama season 1 trailer illustrated by Higga
Chapter 11: Refinement Each place brought up the same kind of people. The GusuLan Sect had always been known for nurturing a lot of handsome men, especially the two jades of the clan’s current generation. Even though the two were not twins, they looked extremely similar to each other, which made it difficult to tell who was the superior one. Yet, although their appearances were similar, their personalities were not. Lan XiChen was gentle and benevolent, while Lan WangJi was overly aloof and stern, keeping everyone at an arm’s length and being the opposite of amiable. This was why, in the list of the bestlooking young masters in the cultivation world, the former ranked first, and the latter ranked second.
GIFs from 陈情令 / The Untamed, Wang Yibo as Lan Wangji
Chapter 100: Hatred But Wei WuXian immediately looked up. He very clearly saw beside Lan WangJi’s lips the transient glimpse of a soft smile that resembled sunlight reflected over snow. This time, not only Su She, even Lan XiChen and Jin Ling paused in astonishment.
Chapter 126: Yunmeng Hearing his words, Lan Wangji smiled faintly. The clear and bright light of the cold moon shining upon the lake was dimmed by this smile.
In the space of a moment, Wei Wuxian was left dazzled and felt light-headed. Involuntarily, that smiling expression also spread to his own face.
(All translations taken from Exiled Rebels Scanlations)
Volume 3, Notes 2/5, Pages 97 - 151
This was actually a really easy read, maybe because it's been almost a year since I last read this in Chinese and so I am not remembering awesome idioms every page; but, anyway! Here we continue <3
In case you don't already know, a huli jing 狐狸精 is a fox spirit. Famous for being super sexy.
In the online Chinese version I read, there was no actual mention of Gu Yun's movements, but more his mindset: 失魂落魄地走了 = "walked off in a daze". Because of the steel plates and all his injuries, I guess it was not a smooth "walking off" so much as a forlorn stumbling, but I don't like the word "hobbled" used on Gu Yun.
Chinese: "整日里便是在我耳边嘀咕." The meaning is the same as "yakking my year off," but it sounds much more elegant in Chinese, of course: "All day, is at the side of my ear, muttering / whispering / chatting quietly...”
Top: again, it just sounds better in Chinese. English is "like a house on fire," Chinese is "投缘" = "kindred spirits" or, broken apart, "thrown, fate."
Bottom: many official ceremonies are carried out with official, kneeling, head-to-floor bows. In this case, it will be an official ceremony to celebrate Ge Chen becoming Zhang Fenghan's adopted son.
(I love how Chang Geng never actually says "So! Ge Chen wants you to adopt him," but instead says a bunch of nice things to Master Fenghan, and Master Fenghan says some nice things back, and then Chang Geng concludes with "We'll call you with the date of the Adoption Ceremony. Bye!")
I love names in Chinese!
So, Du Wanquan is 杜万全, where
Wan 万 = 10,000 ("a very large number") and
Quan 全 = "complete, all", and
the two words together 万全 = absolutely safe / surefire / thorough (mdbg.net).
Good name for the God of Wealth, yah?
In case you don't remember, Zhong-lao is Old Master Zhong / General Zhong, who came out of retirement to help lead the forces in the South. He trained up both Gu Yun and, much later, Chang Geng.
"Speak of the Devil" in Chinese is "说曹操曹操就到."
曹操 Cao Cao was the king of Wei during the 3 Kingdoms Period (the very very beginnings of the 3 Kingdoms period).
Though I think in the actual story, Cao Cao actually saved a fellow ruler who had been thinking of asking him for help against an attack; but before the fellow could send out his messenger with the request, Cao Cao and his army suddenly appeared and crushed the attackers.
The translation is fine. I just feel like in the phrase 朝廷挤出点口粮实在不容易, using "must have" for the English just feels better.
"When a person hid their wounds WITH THEIR TWO HANDS so that none could see, no one had the right to pry AWAY their hands."
It all makes sense once you realize that the verb used here is 捂 wǔ = "to enclose / to cover with the hand (mdbg.net)."
脏癖 dirty habits/inclinations (because Liao Ran didn't like bathing)
My DanMei Literary Adventure Masterpost
Stars of Chaos - All Notes Links
Optimism 😁
The Seven Seas MDZS translation is based off the uncensored Taiwanese novel version, which is great (uncensored), BUT there are just a few extra lines that MXTX put in later in the censored online version, after cutting out the smut, that are Really Really Good. Pure sugar.
(The ♥️Audio Drama♥️ is based off the newer online version, so if you’ve listened to the AD enough to have it vaguely memorized, these lines are Really Important to you.)
I’ll see if I can fit extra lines in the margins of my Vol 4, or if I need to just type it out and make big asterisks in the printed novel. They really are really really good additions. Some of my favorite lines in the entire book.
So during my second time watching Jiang Cheng walk across what I now know is a random mountain to meet Wen Qing, all I could think about was Wei Wuxian, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning’s plan and the fact that they must have been following him, like:
Wen Qing: should he really be walking across that field?
Wei Wuxian: I don’t know, I thought he would follow the path
Wen Ning: should we stop it now so he doesn’t trip and fall?
Wei Wuxian: naw let’s wait a bit, he needs to think it’s difficult
Wen Ning: is this a good place? can I ring the gong now?
Wei Wuxian: I think it’s good. wen qing?
Wen Qing: yeah yeah it’s fine. ring the stupid gong - I’ll lead him to a better spot
Wen Qing: I’m not going to wear the hat
Wei Wuxian: c’mon, you need to wear the hat
Wen Ning: yeah, wear the hat, a-jie
Wen Qing: he’s wearing a blindfold! he won’t be able to see my face anyway
Wei Wuxian: but what if he takes off the blindfold? what then, hmm? the hat is key
Wen Ning: yeah a-jie, the hat is key
Wen Qing: uuuuugh fine I’ll wear the hat
My books arrived from Taiwan. I’m going to start my Traditional Characters, top-to-bottom, right-to-left re-read from the inn in YunPing (where the bookmark is).
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😁
Chinese Fashion doesn’t always make sense to me, but I gotta admit that I think it’s Really Interesting.
OKAY in response to this rb of my post here from @cansada-contenta, i’ve decided to compile a bunch of stupid fashion i’ve seen on chinese singer(s) and loved in recent years. :DDDDD
as for that horrific blue sweater on xiao zhan, YO THAT’S EXACTLY THE KIND OF SHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT. most of these photos are of my good boy 吴青峰 during his time on singer 2019 bc his stylist did GREAT (also i only watch one (1) chinese reality singing show lol)
if you’d like to see most of these outfits in person (plus others I didn’t manage to find good pics of! gosh that violet trenchcoat outfit he’s wearing when he’s singing with jolin tsai at 49:11??? so good. jolin looks classy and he just looks like a DISASTER) you can check out this compilation of all his songs on the season here! :D highly recommend, i love his voice ;~;
anyways, first, the spiritual cousin to that horrendous blue sweater number on xz:
hideous!! what the fuck is that!! looks like you cut up two sweaters and stapled them to the front of a white t-shirt and then paired it with some white slacks!! what!! horrible!! i love it so fucking much!
rest is under a readmore bc i got really quite carried away:
Keep reading
MXTX's danmei are getting increasingly popular, and the fandoms are getting more fic-happy. I've noticed that some writers seem interested in writing their own fics but are concerned of making mistakes with niche honorifics and titles. I've noticed some that have jumped right in, but have made innocent errors that I'd like to correct but fear coming off as rude or presumptuous. And so I've made this list of terms that covers the basics and also some that are a little more niche since they're usually directly translated in cnovels.
DISCLAIMER: This is by no means a comprehensive list of everything one needs to know or would want to know concerning ancient Chinese honorifics and titles, merely what I myself consider useful to keep in mind.
Titles
Shifu: 'Martial father'; gender-neutral
Shizun: 'Martial father'; more formal than 'shifu'; gender-neutral
Shimu: ‘Martial mother’; wife of your martial teacher
Shiniang: ‘Martial mother’; wife of your martial teacher who is also a martial teacher
Shibo: elder apprentice-brother of your shifu; gender-neutral
Shishu: younger apprentice-brother of your shifu; gender-neutral
Shigu: apprentice-sister of your shifu
Shizhi: your martial nephew/niece
Shimei: younger female apprentice of the same generation as you
Shijie: elder female apprentice of the same generation as you
Shidi: younger male apprentice of the same generation as you
Shixiong: elder male apprentice of the same generation as you
Shige: elder male apprentice of the same generation as you, specifically one who has the same shifu as you or is the son of your shifu
Zhanglao: an elder of your sect
Zhangbei: a senior of your sect
Qianbei: a senior not of your sect
Wanbei: a junior not of your sect
Zongzhu: Address for a clan leader
Zhangmen: address for a sect leader
Daozhang: Daoist priests or simply a cultivator in general; gender-neutral
Daogu: Daoist priestess or a female cultivator; not as commonly used as 'daozhang'
Xiangu: Daoist priestess or a female cultivator; not as commonly used as 'daogu'
Sanren: a wandering cultivator
Xianren: 'Immortal Official'; a title of respect and power like 'General'
Xiuzhe: 'Cultivator', can be shortened to 'Xiu'
Xianjun: 'Immortal Master/Lord'
Xianshi: 'Immortal Master/Teacher'
Dashi: 'Great Teacher', address for monks
Xiansheng: Teacher/Sir; in ancient China, the connotation is very scholastic
Houye: address for a duke
Jueye: address for a noble lord, ei. a duke, marquess, earl, etc.
Wangye: address for king/imperial prince
Daren: address for imperial officials
Furen: Madam; the wife of an imperial official/nobleman OR a married woman granted a rank by the royal family
Nushi: Madam; the counterpart of 'xiansheng', connotation is scholastic
Taitai: Madam; address for an old married woman of the gentry, either wife or mother to head of household
Laoye: Old Lord; Address for an adult man with adult children of the gentry; possibly head of household
Nainai: Madam; Address for a married woman of the gentry, possibly wife of head of household
Ye: Lord; address for an adult man of the gentry, possibly head of household
Shaonainai: Young Madam; address for a woman married to a young man of the gentry
Shaoye: Young Lord; address for a young man or boy of the gentry, generation lower than head of household
Xiaoye: Little Lord; can be a synonym for ‘shaoye’ OR the son of a shaoye if ‘shaoye’ is already being used within the family
Xiaojie: Young Mistress; address for an unmarried woman or young girl of . . . the gentry and only the gentry, I believe. Correct me if you know for certain this is incorrect. (WARNING - It's an archaic term that should really only be used in an archaic setting if being used as a title instead of a suffix, because the modern vernacular has it as a term for a prostitute in mainland China. [Surname]-xiaojie is fine; Xiaojie by itself should be avoided.)
Gongzi: ‘Young Master/Lord/Sir'; ‘Childe’; young man from a household of the noble or gentry class
Guniang: 'Young Master/Lady/Miss'; ‘Maiden’; an unmarried woman or young girl from a household of the noble or gentry class
Laozhang: 'Old battle'; polite address for an unrelated old man of lower status than you
Laobo: polite address for an unrelated old man of a higher status that you
Laotou: 'Old man'; informal but not derogatory, implies fondness/closeness
Laopopo: 'Old woman'; informal but not derogatory, implies fondness/closeness
Please note that all of these listed above can be used as stand-alone titles or as suffixed honorifics.
Strictly Prefix/Suffix
-shi: 'Clan'; the suffix for a married woman, essentially means 'née'. (ex. Say Wei Wuxian was a woman and married into the Lan clan through a standard marriage. She would be called 'Wei-shi' by her husband's contemporaries and elders when not in a formal setting. It implies lack of closeness; used by acquaintances.)
a-: A prefix that shows affection or intimacy.
-er: A suffix that shows affection or intimacy; typically for children or those younger than you
-jun: 'Nobleman'; a suffix for a greatly respected man
-zun: 'Revered One'; a suffix for a greatly respected man
-ji: A suffix for a female friend
-bo: A suffix for an older man of your grandparents' generation
-po: A suffix for an older woman of your grandparents' generation