Woooooooooo

I still can't stop thinking about cryptid Dovahkiin. Like there's just something about them distinctively inhuman that they can't shake. The way they travel effortlessly through the country. The way they somehow know where their enemies are at all times in combat. The way they can navigate to anywhere in Skyrim with nothing more than a vague description. The way they always know everyone's name, without speaking to them. The way they always know where their objective is, unfailingly. The way they are a blank slate, hardly emoting, often locked behind armor or a mask. The way they react faster than anyone would consider possible to changing situations, almost like they've done it all before. The way they are able to melt into the shadows when they hide. The way they are able to navigate the landscape with unfaltering ease, climbing sheer cliffaces and walking along mountain ranges. The way they APPEAR so human, but are just... not.

Nope. That, my friend, is a shapeshifter.

Kinda surprised how many different animals can be black and tan

I am so lonely. It’s three in the morning. I can’t fall asleep. I am so tired. I’m crying because all of my friends stopped talking to me and I am normally too socially anxious to start up a convo and when i do try they never respond and they hate me I know they do. All of them got tired of me and moved on and I am crying. I am crying. I miss my friends.

Good questions! I’ve wondered the same myself!

Folklore Plotholes

Story name:Prince Lindworm

“Okay that sounds pretty cool”

A queen longs for a child and a witch offers her two roses,one for a girl and one for a boy,but she must eat only one or something bad will happen

“She eats them both”

She eats them both

“Hah,knew it”

The queen gives birth to twins,the firstborn being a hideous serpent and the second being a perfect boy-

“Wait,why are they both boys?Shouldn’t they be a boy and a girl?Is the lindworm transgender?”

That’s not part of the story-

“Is the human prince transgender?Did they king/queen raise them as a boy so they would have a heir?”

Please get back to the story-

“I need to write this down”

Just read the story I’m begging you-

How dare he. How dare he give his affection to some random child instead of his own blood. How dare he not even search for his brother. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that Marcus has love and adoration, while Snatcher has nothing but fear. Sure he ate a few (dozen) people, but it isn’t his fault he was hungry. He couldn’t help it. It just wasn’t fair. Well, maybe it’s a little fair, he has been terrorizing the kingdom for over 2 decades now after all. It doesn’t really matter anyway. His reputation isn’t the point here. The point here is that Marcus is about to add another member to his family. Now, Snatcher can’t let this happen for a few reasons.

1. It isn’t fair that Marcus has people to care for.

2. It isn’t fair that Marcus has people who care for him.

3. Even if Marcus does do his best to care for people, Snatcher could DEFINITELY care for people better. He is the oldest after all.

Maybe he should demonstrate that. He could be wayyyy better at caring for a child than Marcus. He could prove it. All he needed was a child. Luckily he knows where to find one, holding onto his dear younger brother’s hand. It should be pretty easy.

This is an approximation of The Subon Snatcher’s thoughts as he began to slither alongside the two figures walking down the forest path back towards the manor. If he wanted to do this, he would have to do it soon, as the shrubs would stop being thick enough to hide him a few yards away.

A large creature slithers out of the brush. It is unlike anything Marcus has ever seen before, with glistening long yellowed fangs, elongated eyes the color of slightly dirty gold, a long sinuous body covered in feathers a shade or two darker than the skin of a plum, and two long and thin legs with claws on the end.

“A child for me before a child for you.” The creature hissed.

It’s arms darted out to grab his new little girl, who Marcus had recently discovered was named Beatrice. 

“Stop!”

The shout echoed through the trees. It took Marcus a moment to realize that the exclamation had come from his own mouth.

“You want a child? I can get you one, please just leave Beatrice alone.” A pleading tone leaked into the king’s voice. Of course he would never actually give The Snatcher (as that is the name of this beast in front of him. Marcus had heard complaints of him for as long as he can remember) a child. He just wanted this serpentine avian to leave them alone.

“Will you now?” The Snatcher hissed coldly.

“Of course!” Marcus replied, a little too quickly. “I’ll come back as soon as I can with a nice juicy little girl for you.”

“I don’t believe you.” A skeptical expression, or as close as you can get with such a monstrous form, slid onto the snake’s face.

“R…really? Perhaps you could come back to the city and help you pick one out?” Of course, this was Marcus just trying to buy time, There’s no way this thing would be stupid enough to come to the village with him, right?

“Alright, but you’d better walk fast. You humans are all so slow.” Aaaand nevermind then. Apparently he’s doing this.

Soop :)

Frankenstein AU where the Creature, upon returning to seek terrible vengeance on Victor after realizing the tragic existence he's been forced into, takes a few days extra to actually, you know, observe Victor and see what he's like, to learn how best to enact his revenge. And he comes to the conclusion that, "Actually, I don't need to do anything, this idiot's going to ruin his own life without any outside interference, and I kinda wanna see how he does it."

Victor then proceeds to continue with his previously demonstrated levels of making good life choices, while now also constantly looking over his shoulder for his Creation and having the vapors at every little thing because oh noes, it's The Monster come back to Get Him-!!!

The Creature: (watching all this unfold through binoculars like it's a soap opera while sneaking in to help himself to Victor's larder and library when he feels like it, and also occasionally hiding small but vital objects, like Victor's keys or shaving blade, in weird spots in the house) Wow, it really does take an incredibly smart man to be quite this stupid, doesn't it?

tumblr please stop telling me to wd40 a mouse

Oh my god guys it’s the location of my favorite episode of Barney!!!