Latest Posts by wasted-life-musings - Page 7

*Thousands of years from now*

Two archeologists dig through the abandoned ruins of what was once called “New York City”. Deep within the rubble of an old building, something small and rectangular lays in the dirt.

Upon further inspection is seems to be a book of some sort. The pages are yellowed with time and the spine is hanging by a thread of synthetic fiber.

“The Book seems to be written in a strange dialect” says Man #1.

The archaeologists take the book back to the lab for testing. Calling upon linguists from around the world, the first chapter is deciphered.

“When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.”

They were amazed at what they found. A tale of magic, bravery and great battles. Although the stories we’re far-fetched and fantastical, the paper on which was printed was thick and well cared for. Someone had gone through great trouble to produce it and therefore it must be based in truth.

And thus a new Religion was born. Faction after faction of humans flock to the site of the holy text. Finally, after thousands of years of secrecy, humanities history is finally revealed. Though there are no longer elves, hobbits or wizards, Humans have obviously prevailed and are meant to rule the Earth until the day Gandalf the White will return and lead them to Paradise.

Millions of people wear golden rings around their fingers to symbolize their devotion to their faith. Drawings and likenesses of the Prophet Frodo and Protector Bilbo hang in the home of every devout believer.

This is the one true religion. And any who reject it will be thrown deep into the flames of Mordor where Smaug will torment their souls for all eternity.

Sharpest View of the Andromeda Galaxy, Ever.

The NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope has captured the sharpest and biggest image ever taken of the Andromeda galaxy — a whopping 69,536 x 22,230 pixels. The enormous image is the biggest Hubble image ever released and shows over 100 million stars and thousands of star clusters embedded in a section of the galaxy’s pancake-shaped disc stretching across over 40,000 light-years.

Use the ZOOM TOOL to view in full detail.

(WARNING: May cause existential crisis)

Japan Kabuki Performance

You won’t find me in any opera house when Kabuki theater exists.  People are always talking like Lazer Floyd, no, if you want those mushrooms to really hit you go see Kabuki theater.

Just waiting to wake up in a nuthouse, having someone tell me this has all been a dream, then burning me with a cigarette.  no big whoop...

“ 20 - bisexual - I'm here to get high and have fun. be my sugar daddy and ask for my PayPal “

man, am I tempted.  Thank god for that feminist movement eh ladies?  It did wonders. ( this is why we haven’t had a woman president yet, teehee ) I mean, err, something something susan B anthony, i love your mind as much as your body yadda yadda can I get your number?  Oh your friend i don’t know did something not funny but you think its funny because you have an ascued vision of the world and the things in it?  Do tell me all about that funny story at lengths disproportionately long for even a good story.

Ladies, Gentlemen...

This is Tumblr, this is not a safe space, expect to be spoken to, expect to have your ideas challenged, expect it, especially from me.

Drunk words are only sober thoughts.

(via queen-caittt)

Call Me Israel Hands

I think I ACTUALLY drink more rum than a pirate.  I don’t think pirates had a 5th+ rationed to them a day, every day.  Thats how you know you’re a drinker, not when you lose your job, when your wife leaves and the kids call mommys new boyfriend gary dad.  You know you’re a drinker when you put down a 5th and say ok, now whens the real buzz start?

2pm and I’m already basically shitfaced.  Happy sabbath jesus, love the hair.

The vampire squid is neither a vampire, nor a squid.

Its Latin name translates as “the vampire squid from hell.” And while its crimson skin and glowing eyes support its title, deep sea ecologists like Bruce Robison of the montereybayaquarium Research Institute have come to see the vampire squid as the antithesis of a bloodsucking predator. In fact, studies have shown that Vampyroteuthis infernalis is actually a gentle steward of the ocean’s depths, gracefully foraging on marine detritus.

Watch the video:

This liquid is boiling and freezing simultaneously because it’s reaching its ‘triple point,’ which is the temperature and pressure at which three phases of a substance (gas, liquid, and solid) co-exist in equilibrium. Source

" Walter Benjamin, he wrote an essay titled: ' The Destructive Character ' in which he said ' The destructive character is cheerful and friendly, and knows only one motto, make room. ' and there is no moral value whatsoever in that...no good, no evil.  No apocalyptic ulterior motives associated with it, no war and destructive wrath." " There is nothing more than the need thereby recognized, that for all, for every, for anything new to emerge, the preconditions must first be created, the old must be eliminated, room must be made, and that's simply why destruction is needed. " - Blixa Bargeld, Einstürzende Neubauten

Themed Blogs

You know like, the fat goth chick that makes sure every picture they post is black and white, or even worse the like color themers, people that have purple writing and tint all their pictures purple, thats not art, its fucking gay and a waste of your time and mine, get a real skill if you wanna make art.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Disingenuousness

I hate fake enthusiasm, I hate overly friendly/touchy people, disingenuous things in general, dont sell me anything, let me shop around, and maybe I’ll buy.  Young girls are the worst, like age 15-25, “ omg HAI IM BECKY!  It’s SO good to meet you!!! “ Literally no one gives a shit becky, calm the fuck down.

The Russians have this sort of unspoken cultural thing, they never smile at people on the street, rarely do they smile in public period, because when a stranger smiles at you, he’s deceiving you, he wants something from you, there’s no reason to be smiling right now, we dont know eachother.  Smiles are for friends and family only, no smiles for you, asshole.

Search Rant on Tumblr

My blog is going to be nothing but ranting basically, but i LOVE reading other peoples rants, and how fuckin unimportant the shit they care about is.  Gays and Lesbians crying about microgressions on how theyre genderfluid and not some other made up word or whatever stupid bullshit their special club comes up with.

Weebs bitching about Anime, Housewives bitching about their favorite fictional characters beings killed off from their faggy where has my life gone housewife shows.  Fat girls crying about sexual harassment, who you kiddin honey, you WISH you were being sexually harassed, hell so do I.  Yes I called you honey sugartits, cry about it on your blog.

Oh this ones my favorite ( and once i get some followers im sure the comment flames will be epic ) people bitching about people bitching in their comments about posts bitching about things. Though I’m bitching about people bitching about people bitching at their bitching, lifes all very grey area-ish.  No the stranger online didnt like you or what you had to say, no one on the internet or any other medium likes you either, hang yourself, I’ll teach you how to tie the noose if you want, start by putting the rope down like an “S” then you take one end and start wrapping it around...

You’re all fucked and overrated, i think I’m gonna be sick and it’s your fault.

Heroin, Good for Colds!

Some of my Junkie friends have melted their minds so badly I don’t even know what the fuck they’re saying half the time, especially when typed.  I don’t mean spelling mistakes, i mean its like they have their own weird version of brain damaged english, they all seem to understand eachother, the rest of us are pretty much in the dark though. Here’s a real example:

“ docking it all day we gettin it in.... cant let them bring u down or they will alway feel important....im scared to run with this chick the past got me in totally diffrent mindset “ Sure those are all, words, they umm, sort of convey, something or rather.

And in typical histrionic needy junky fashion, they usually post about chicks/dudes not loving em, or how no one wants to hang out with them, woe is them, no one wants to hang out with you because you cant form a coherant sentence, you’re always stealing something or trying to borrow money, you turn every conversation into an excuse to cry about yourself, and you are literally walking hepatitis.  We’re SO gonna miss you guys when you OD, good thing you all manage to have like 3 kids you dont teach shit to before you kick the bucket, pass it forward...

Cops Are Scumbags

Cops aren’t heroes, they’re ex military assholes that couldn’t get a real job thereafter because their only skill was being a bully.  They eat/play that hero shit right up too don’t they?  It takes a special sorta person to want to be a professional buzzkill.  But I suppose it depends on how you define a hero, 90% of the time they’re giving out speeding tickets and breaking every constitutional thing they possibly can, 8% of the time they’re shooting a black person, 1% of the time said black persons like age 15 or under, and 1% of the time they’re saving lives. ( yes I made those stats up you stupid fuck )  My fuckin heroes...

( Claps furiously )