Drunk Words Are Only Sober Thoughts.

Here’s me drunkenly playing” Cheap Day Return “ by Jethro Tull, I have terrible audio equipment and suggest headphones to even hear me....

oh oh, oh, I can play this song, badly.  This is a song you dont fully appreciate til you’ve been there.

Here’s a song I always thought would sound better fingerpicked, of course pulling it off didn’t go ALL that well.  Here’s me playing “ You Only Live Once “ by the Strokes, one of the only newish bands I think are worth a fuck

Sharpest View of the Andromeda Galaxy, Ever.

The NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope has captured the sharpest and biggest image ever taken of the Andromeda galaxy — a whopping 69,536 x 22,230 pixels. The enormous image is the biggest Hubble image ever released and shows over 100 million stars and thousands of star clusters embedded in a section of the galaxy’s pancake-shaped disc stretching across over 40,000 light-years.

Use the ZOOM TOOL to view in full detail.

(WARNING: May cause existential crisis)

My Terrible Upbringing

Not long ago I posted a video about graverobbing I saw as a kid.  I remember when I saw it and other videos like it, which organs sold for what, how long said organs were good, etc.  I remember being messed up on whatever the fuck one night and I’m talking to my dad, who was drunk of course, and I told him about said videos and i remember it like yesterday, my father looked at me inquisitively and he said to me, “ well how do they make money at this? “

Not the response a parent should give and i gave the answer of you know, found trinkets and or the skull being of an important person, and he said well, if you can get away with it, sounds good to me.

I have no moral qualms about anything, and this is why.  I worked in a graveyard as a teen, to me a body is a body, and apparently thats generational.  Anyways so you know, when i presented my parents with graverobbing they said pretty much sounds great if ya dont get caught.  I aint got much to work with here people...

fun fact, movies asside, no one will ever notice you in the back of a large graveyard, get to it kids...

The Cemetery

My last post reminds me I never told you people that I worked in a cemetery as a teen, I remember the first body I buried i was maybe 13, 14 ( i worked under the table because i knew people there ) He was a suicide victim, 35 i think.  I stood at a distance during the funeral, picked up the plywood, took off the straps from lowering the coffin, etc. 

With modern machinery most is done with a backhoe, but you need to manually shovel the dirt between the vault and the ground, and etc.  so It’s raining out, and by the time i get there the hole is filled with water, i jump on the coffin and shovel dirt, i feel the coffin move beneath my feet, i float on this dead man and shovel dirt in cracks/ 

I remember after I went to the crematorium, which was a warehouse full of cardboard boxes, and drank coffee and what not, it being cold and rainy.  I remember shedding a single tear for the man I never met and moving on with my life.

After that it was childsplay, nothing in a box or in the ground was even human, but that one moment will stick with me forever, that and the smell of the crematorium, once you smell a burning human body I promise you you wont ever forget it. 

By 13 I had looked death in the face, and maybe it was traumatic by millennial standards but death has always been a part of life, and by 13 I knew someday id have some small funeral of people pretending to care and I’d be put in the boggy mud and forgotten forever more.  It has shaped my life in ways you’ll never understand sans the experience. 

There is no god, there is no redemption, there is here and now, and there is gone, and dont let any Babylonian babble sway you, when you’re standing on that floating coffin you know then and there, god is a lie and there is no redemption.  I think, in private, I cried for that strangers water laden corpse more than I did for any of my loved ones, I regret not remembering his name. 

“ Im a hot junkie girl, all my bills are paid for me and my life is SO tough...”