JEREMY I AM NOT A TIC-TAC STOP CALLING ME THAT

Jeremy is undecided on his costume. I suggested he and Christine do a couple’s costume. He says that they can’t agree on a costume because all of the Shakespearean couples end up dead.

They don’t realize they could do a non-Shakespearean costume, but I don’t have the nerve to tell them because watching them struggle to come up with ideas is too priceless.

new ask meme: send me a present emoji 🎁 and i’ll respond with a random out of context image i have on my computer

Jeremy wants me to know that the next milestone is 500 followers.

No. No, it isn’t.

I’m celebrating every 100 followers I get.

Because I can.

Okay. Gardening 101; or “Auntie Sys I have a yard that’s currently a yard and don’t know SHIT or FUCK about how to make it not be a boring-ass yard.”

Step 1; go to your local landfill and get all of the newspaper you can. Cardboard will also work. If your neighborhood puts them out for recycling, go around and grab them all like a little newspaper goblin.

Step 2; acquire mulch. If you WANT, you can go pay for it at a garden store, but we’re all cheap lazy bitches here so screw that. Most landfills will collect yard waste and branches and chip them into woodchips, which you can get for PENNIES or FREE. Go load up on that good shit.

I like straw too, which I can get for barter because I am related to half the people around here and a solid 65% of my extended family are farmers. I give Uncle Daryl three quarts of elderberry jelly or a couple pounds of morels in spring and he loads me up with straw bales.

Step 3; figure what parts of grass you want to be not-grass, and cover that shit in newspaper, good and thick. 5-10 layers. It helps to wet the newspaper to keep it from blowing away as you work.

Now, cover that newspaper with a good thick layer of mulch.

Congrats, you’re removing the grass. It’ll starve to death under the mulch and newspaper and rot into compost. You now have garden beds and have not dug one single bit of sod.

If you can’t wait for six months to plant, pull the mulch aside, cut a hole in the newspaper, and dig out a plug of sod the size of the planting hole. Throw some compost in there and plant. Tuck mulch back around plant. Water well.

There ya go. Garden beds. In a year, when you pull back the mulch the newspaper will be almost rotted away, and the soil underneath soft and loamy.

Things that Michael and Jeremy have said that make me want to slap both of them

An incomplete list:

“It’s 420 somewhere”

“I’m not a useless furry. I’m just a furry that happens to be useless.”

“You have neither the authority nor the electricity to stop me from masturbating.”

“Buckaroo Bonzai would kick Han Solo’s ass but Tim Curry would ultimately win.” “Before getting killed by Chuck Norris.” “Dude, don’t date this conversation more than it already is.”

They’re now arguing about who gets to be Heather Chandler. Or more accurately, who gets to not be Heather Duke and Christine’s going as Heather Mac.

Jeremy told me that I need a Halloween costume this year. I don’t see why, since I don’t have a form outside of a pill, but he insists. So now Rich’s SQUIP and I are putting out heads together to come up with costumes for ourselves.

“When’s Bisexual Awareness Day?” “September 23 but the whole month is Bisexual Awareness Month.” “...Don’t come into your room for a few hours, okay?” “Did you get the day wrong again?” “Yeah.” “Thanks though. What’d you get this year?”

Me: A unicorn jelly bean dispenser from Amazon.

*silence*

“...She told you didn’t she.”

“Yeah.”

“COME ON!!!!”

* interview the writer

send a number. a mix of serious and fun.

what color do you associate with your muse?

is there a song that reminds you of your muse?

how do you get yourself out of a writing funk?

do you have any advice for other writers?

would you hug your muse?

how are you and your muse alike?

how are you and your muse different?

do you follow canon, or dump it in the trash?

best scene featuring your muse? (chapter, film, episode)

talk about your writing

fluff or angst?

favorite book?

how are you?

ghosts or monsters?

what does your name mean?

ice cream, candy, pie or cookies?

what motivates you?

are you a jedi master? 

describe love

favorite cryptid(s)?

do you believe in extraterrestrial life?

mcdonald’s or burger king?

anything spooky happen this week?

share a funny story 

are you religious?

what are you doing right now?

describe yourself in two words

metal, folk, pop or ambient?

list your top two movies

most used emoji?

favorite comic book character?