He’s Such A Crash Out But I Would Be Too If I Lived In New Jersey

i need a homo-magi tim drake au.

like, i find it very hard to believe that in that mausoleum of a mansion filled to the brim with ancient artifacts jack and janet drake collected throughout their travels, that not a single one of them was cursed —

— and that a nine year old tim didn’t use an ancient aztec macuahuitl as a baseball bat and now knows several dead languages with weird cursed powers from some ancient meso-american demon that camps out in his body.

but like tim has no clue that whatever is going on with him is not normal because he was never told it wasn’t not normal,

and then imagine other people’s reactions to this, especially other magic users like zatanna and constantine —

zatanna: i don’t understand why i can’t seem to get these runes right..

13 year old tim drake: because you’re working on them backwards, it’s supposed to be [fast paced nahuatl]

zatanna: how…?

tim (blissfully unaware of his abilities, smiling sweetly): the voices :D

and then i just imagine his shadow is some looming creature or something idk, kinda how in yj comics his shadow is batman’s silhouette

Jon saying the most absurd, unhinged, out of pocket things to Damian at random because I find the thought hilarious

Damian just minding his own business

Jon, completely unprompted: I kind of wish I could get you pregnant

Damian: Excuses me!?

---

Damian quietly reading a book in peace

Jon: Hey Dames are you drinking enough water or do I need to spit in your mouth?

Damian, slowly closing his book, getting up and leaving the room cus what exactly is he supposed to say to that on a random Tuesday afternoon

This is based off a text convo I had with my cousin lmao

Tim sending a photo of Jason to Steph where the lighting hitting Jason’s shirt makes his stomach look a bit round: why does jason look 5 months pregnant?

Steph: he’s carrying it for roy

Tim: #meninwomendominatedfields

Steph: yessss!

Tim: i didn’t expect jason mpreg on my 2025 bingo card

Steph: same i’m loving the plot twists so far

Wait… I just found out that this picture comes from Jon’s dreams… you mean to tell me Jon dreamt up Damian in this outfit………

“actually, in canon-“

CANON DOES NOT SPARK JOY INTO MY HEART. IT DOES NOT MAKE ME GIGGLE AND KICK MY FEET LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL. THE WORLD IS A FOUL AND CRUEL PLACE AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU SULLY MY IMAGINATION WITH REALITY.

Gotham City Subway

The only Robin who can squat during a train ride is Stephanie Brown; sadly, Damian doesn’t currently have the skill.

A list of things that are in fact cannon in my own little batfam world

- “Are we getting Jason’ed???” Something you say when you think you’re about to die by the hands of the joker.- Coined by Steph, when she thought she was gonna die at the hands of the joker with Tim. Is now used by everyone.

- WWRHD = What Would Red Hood Do?- was coined by Steph, is now used in every situation possible by every bat kid.

- Evil Baha Blast = The Lazarus Pit- was coined by Duke, when he thought that saying the actual name might trigger Jason. Jason laughed his ass off for about 10 minutes and has not called it by its actual name since.

Will continue this when I come up with more.

Batfamily - 530*160

Artist : Lan.C

dofuwani coworkers au again