Latest Posts by tr-ig-ge-re-d - Page 2

You husk simpers gotta be the most DIRTY NASTY FREAKS on the whole planet. Y’all motherfuckers be getting my coochie sore.

My right hand can only move so fast y’all 😭

This old ass man got y’all ERECT

Thesis:

Sometimes I be forgetting that Alastor is a BLACK man (or mixed or whatever), and I, as a fellow BLACK person myself, see a lot of missed potential for some Alastor x black! (and/or poc but I’m mostly thinking about black) reader fanfiction, in this essay I will-

Get Off My Screen!

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I'm doing this cuz someone wanted to see my shitposty idea hahaha, I hope it's not too OOC but oh well- I hope someone could write a proper fic with this since I don't trust my writing much HAHAHAHA

A/N: I'll also be doing this from the reader's POV for now. Just message me or request if you wanna see Vox's POV since it might be too long if I include his thingy in this post XD

College life is fun, do doubt about that; from the parties to the friends you make- it truly was unforgettable.

Even if you did study a lot, wanting to get high marks- you had time to indulge every once in a while and goof off with friends.

It made you a star student on paper- but nearly bordering troublesome with your chaotic behavior.

You were lucky to never have been caught with their shenanigans.

But of course your friends just had to push it.

A new ghost hunting hype trend surfaced online and they were convinced that they had to get into it.

You said it was a bad idea, getting into stuff you didn't know.

Your friends brushed you off and all piled into the attic of your parents' home.

Of course, your parents were more than happy to explain some things before leaving your group to their devices.

They've been messing with the... "paranormal" for most of their lives.

You just chose not to believe it.

It wasn't like there was proof aside from heresay anyways.

Your friends proceed to mess with the ouija board they found, among other probably possessed things.

You found it all way too creepy to be honest.

Especially that old CRT TV that was just sitting in the corner.

It was an old thing you remembered using, but it always glitched and stuttered when you were a kid.

Even if there wasn't actually anything wrong with it according to the technicians that tried to fix it over the years.

Your friends started screaming before you could really reminisce.

"WHO'S MOVING IT?!"

"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING-"

"IT'S MOVINNGGGGGGG-"

The fact the ouija board was actually reacting slightly freaked you out.

You managed to calm your friends from bombarding the thing with questions before asking what actually mattered.

"What's your name?"

V... O... X...

That didn't sound like a demon name you were even vaguely familiar with, at least off the top of your head.

Then of course that creepy TV from your childhood turned on by itself.

Your friends were screaming bloody murder at this point.

You didn't even realize the fuss until you saw the darn thing was unplugged.

You freaked out too, bolting down the attic stairs with your friends quickly in tow.

It was smooth sailing afterwards, your parents assuring you that nothing would happen.

Your friends stayed for dinner until they had to go.

You were about to retire for the night as well until you realized you couldn't find your phone.

Everywhere you looked, it wasn't there.

That left one place.

The attic.

By the time you gathered the courage to return, everything seemed just fine.

The TV was finally turned off, how and why- you didn't bother enough to know.

So you picked up your phone off the floor and just headed to your room.

Only to practically get jumpscared when you opened your phone.

WHO PUT A FRIGGIN WEIRD GLITCHY SMILEY ON YOUR WALLPAPER?!

Annoyed, you switched it back before plugging it into the charger.

Come morning, you had a bone to pick with your lot of friends.

Because not only was your phone stuck with the wallpaper problem, soon were all your devices.

You tried everything, restarting your stuff, running an antivirus, even getting it professionally checked.

Nothing.

And the problem continued to persist.

Now at your wits' end, you figured whatever entity was messing with your gadgets could at least converse with you through said gadgets.

So you opened a blank notepad on your laptop, nearly glaring at the screen while waiting for something to happen.

Five minutes passed and nothing happened.

"OH YOU CRAPPY PIECE OF TECH JUST DO SOMETHING!"

Even more waiting and still nothing.

Eventually you just decided to type something up on the notepad in impatience.

"I know you're in there. Stop messing with me."

And to your surprise, something finally replied.

"Oh I know, you're just fun to mess with doll."

What. The. Fuck.

And that was how you met him.

Vox, the tech overlord demon, months ago.

When he infected your phone, then consequently the rest of your electronics too.

Since then he's been an annoying thorn in your side.

Well... or even a welcome distraction.

Maaaaybe even an odd Omegle Buddy?

Who even still does those?

Either way, you never had to use spellcheck again whenever doing your work.

Nor did you consult Google as often either.

As rude and annoying as he was, Vox was quite helpful when it came to paperwork.

Not that you didn't know much about him, on some days you would both just chat using the notepad.

He hated some radio guy named "Alastor"?

You would laugh if you weren't so tired.

Depending on Vox's mood, he was either tolerable or a downright prick.

Fighting over control of the cursor was also pretty common occurrence.

Vox practically living in your gadgets forced you to learn at least basic software care and programming.

The guy also ended up sorting your files!

You'd be more thankful if he wasn't so bitchy about your file arrangement anyway.

It wasn't that bad.

You want to call him your virtual friend- but he's more like an annoying virus that throws hissy fits from time to time.

Even if said hissy fits were either excessive amounts of lag or mostly obstructive visual glitches and pop ups.

The little shit was also constantly messing with you during class.

Not that he cared enough even if you told him you were, he'd still be messing with your notes or even your files every now and then.

You stopped trying to change wallpapers after you realized he kept switching them back to his grinning face.

Let's not even mention his multitude of custom emojis stuck in your device.

How that got there, you didn't care enough to figure out.

What a weirdo.

Though him constantly interacting with your software gave you an idea.

You saw your friend fawning over a thing called a "desktop pet" just a little ago in class.

They chose to get a virtual slime.

It piqued your interest after you saw it was interactive too.

And knowing that Vox liked to mess with your operating systems a lot, you decided to try and get one to see what he'd do.

You got the basic one, just a random anime "chibi" or so it was labeled on the website.

It walked around and did some emotes before a notepad opened up with a message.

"What the fuck is that."

"My new desktop companion, do you like it?"

You didn't get a reply so you just left to grab a snack.

You weren't even surprised with what you came back to.

Vox was already using the cursor to bully the desktop pet you downloaded.

Either throwing it around or just repeatedly spam clicking it so it fell over.

The sonova bitch-

You kind of expected it, just leaving Vox to do his thing while you went to take a nap.

Only, you didn't realize you would be coming back to a new custom desktop pet and an open note.

"You're welcome~"

If that was what Vox looked like, you couldn't deny it was cute.

Or at least the small desktop pet made it seem so.

It was a striking design for sure-

Did he have a monitor for a head??

Oh that explains the face on your screen wallpapers.

You didn't realize until too late that Vox could interact with you using the desktop pet either.

Sometimes the things he did were cute with it, like the emotes that were installed on the thing.

Or he was just a little shit closing your windows or dragging them off screen before you could notice and stop him.

He was an annoying bastard-

But you kept him around anyways.

A/N: I really had fun writing this thing, it hasn't gone romantic since I didn't know if I wanted it to go that route so this is more of a friendly thing? Either way I might write Vox's POV sooner or later this was a really fun idea HAHAHAHA

A/N: Vox's POV is here!! :3

Ok so I have some thoughts-

Ok so I have like a lil theory (or something) so basically Adam likes ribs so much because God made Eve out of Adam’s rib? I think?? (Forgive me, ex Christian here)

YEAH ok Maybe I’m making connections where they’re isn’t any but idk I just think that’s funny

IF that’s true, what’s the connection between Lucifer and ducks? Is there one? Maybe it’s just funny lol XD Hazbin shit-

This is probably one google search away but I simply don’t care enough to look it up 😋

ITS MY BIRTHDAY 🥳

Jesus Christ allmighty

Deadpool & Wolverine Honda Odyssey fight slowed gifset

My first crushes ever TOGETHER!?

DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE dir. Shawn Levy (2024)

I love him

#alastor and his fuck ass shadow

“I’m so in love with you”

my little ace brain is malfunctioning-

I have a craving for pathetic piss-boy Vox x Mr steal-your-girl Valentino x reader that nobody is filling rn 💔

OH MY GOD 😭

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine teehee THE CAR SCEEENEEEEEE UGHHHHH

You bitches posting MHA spoilers without tags ARE GOING TO HELL

I wanna thank the stars that aligned to make Valentino you’re all getting your pussy ATE

Loved him since day ONE ☝️

I TURN 21 NEXT WEEK SLAYYYYYYYUH

I FOUND IT ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

IM SO HAPPY 🥺🥺🥺

He Chose You (Pt.1)

Lucifer/Reader

Hazbin Hotel AU where Lilith never existed, Lucifer has been lonely for over a millennia and Charlie will be born one way or another. Rated E for explicit sexual content of the raunchiest variety in later chapters and also weird old people.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 13.5 | Part 14 | End

There was a knock at your door. It sounded like someone rapping their knuckles against the wood whimsically, as if following the beat of a song you couldn’t hear.

The methodical folding of your clothes into garage sale-quality drawers came to a halt. You looked over your shoulder, shifting on your feet hesitantly.

It had been little over a week since you moved into the grand old Donner apartment. Apart from a quick tow-in of shoddy furniture from your hired movers, no one had come calling. 

You definitely weren’t expecting anyone either, not in a brand new city you’d spontaneously decided to live in.

After another moment of uncertainty, you pivoted to the door and inched it open to a slit you could peek through. “Hello?”

Your brow furrowed as you stared at the empty space ahead of you. Pulling the door open fully, you peered down one end of the hallway to the other. 

Nothing but cracked and crumbling crown moldings on wainscoting, a matted-looking saxony carpet, the same musty, stale air…

‘Quack’

You nearly jumped out of your skin, head snapping down to see a real, live duck standing just outside your doorframe. 

“Oh!”

     You immediately squatted down to marvel at the animal. It gazed back up at you with beady red eyes and a curious gait. 

“Hey little guy,” You cooed, smiling despite the incongruous image of a waterfowl in your building.

You raised a hand and reached out slowly, instinctive desire to pet the cute little creature warring with a minuscule yet no less embarrassing fear. 

Were ducks typically friendly? You knew so little, ornithology not being your thing. 

“Will you let me pet you?” Your fingers hovered over the surprisingly patient animal before it decided to nudge itself under your palm.

The duck shivered with delight at your touch, all-white feathers ruffling excitedly and tail wagging, looking akin to a very happy dog. 

“Oh my god.” You gasped, heart melting. “You’re so cute!”

Soft feathers brushed against your bent knees as the duck drew close enough to rub its body against you. It had gone from doggish to cat-like effortlessly, and you couldn’t help giggling over how silly it looked.

“Where did you come from?” You asked after a bit of cuddling, glancing from side to side once again. The hallway remained empty, no one running to fetch what you assumed was a beloved pet. 

     ‘That’s… weird.’ You thought. ‘So, who knocked on my door?’ 

It was tempting to ask the bird that was currently bouncing on its webbed feet. You couldn’t help but snort with laughter before positioning yourself so that you were sitting. In an instant, the duck made to climb into your lap, allowing you to carefully lift it onto your legs when it couldn’t reach. 

“You’re so silly!” Grinning, you continued to stroke its head. “Your owner is probably worried sick about their silly little guy.” 

‘Quack’ 

The duck burrowed its head against your stomach as it settled on your lap, and you sighed. “I’d love to keep you, but I don’t know how to take care of you, sweetie.” 

Little red eyes bore into you from below, seemingly wide and beseeching. It was too precious, and too perfect (to the point where you idly wondered if someone was somehow scouting a way to scam you via adorable duck shenanigans).

Aside from the guttural, sad ‘wek’ you got in reply, a slow creak of hinges drew your attention back up. The door across from you had visibly opened the barest amount. You squinted, just able to make out frizzy red hair and a red-rimmed, down-turned mouth in the dim lighting. 

“Oh hey, hi!” You stopped yourself from standing, instead of bracing the bundle in your lap close. “Is this your duck?”

A tingle went up your spine as the door opened fully and an old woman appeared. She was dressed in green capri pants and a ruffled tan blouse, hair red as an open flame and barely kept in-check by a cheetah-print scarf. The makeup she wore was caked on, harsh red lipstick smeared around her thin lips and black kohl-rimmed eyes popping out of her wrinkled face. 

The sour, almost suspicious look on her face softened but did not completely go away, even when she smiled.

“Oh Lou!” She cried, making you jump. “You didn’t get very far, did you? I almost didn’t notice you were gone, you little scoundrel!”

“Well, thank goodness for that I guess. He’s got those little legs, ya see,” She nodded down at your lap, “but he’s so darn fast anyway, might as well be a midget racehorse!”

You chuckled and smiled politely. That persistent tingling at your back had you holding back a shiver, and the skin on your arms prickled and rose. 

“I didn’t know we could have pet ducks in this building.” Your words belied a confidence, as well as interest in having a conversation with this woman, that you didn’t truly have. 

As a matter of fact, despite the inner scolding you gave yourself for being judgmental, you were quite off-put in the woman’s presence. The want to return to your apartment and shut the door in her overly-painted face was rising like a lump in your throat. 

“He seems to really like you, that’s so sweet. He’s not usually this friendly with anyone but my hubby. That’s Mr. Farrow, honey, have you met him?” The woman - presumably Mrs, Farrow, leaned down just a few feet away. 

She still looked to be examining you and your avian companion, the bland pleasantness oozing yet unable to suffocate the shrewd glint in her dark eyes. 

“Oh, uh, no. I’m afraid I haven’t -” You started. 

“Oh, that’s alright! That’s fine! Matter of fact, he’d get an earful from me if he was talkin’ to a pretty thing like you without me knowin’!” Mrs. Farrow laughed. “Just kiddin’, honey. You’re new to the building though, aren’t you? Well, welcome! It’s nice to see a new face here! ‘Specially a young one!” 

“Thank —”

“Maybe that’s why Lou is so taken with you! Animals just thrive off energy and sunshine and all that. Not slow, almost dead things. I’m sure you’re birds of a feather that way.” 

Again, your soft laughter is polite, teetering on nervousness. 

You took a moment to rise, humming apologetically when Lou squawked as he was jostled. On your feet, you instinctively stepped back. One foot over the threshold and solid in your apartment. 

“He is really sweet.” You said, holding the animal out as carefully as you could. “I’m glad he didn’t get lost.”

Mrs. Farrow stared, arms falling to her sides. She didn’t attempt to take the bird from you for a long, long moment. 

Confusion and disbelief clouded your mind as you stood, waiting, watching as Mrs. Farrow’s throat bobbed when she swallowed forcefully. 

What? Was she afraid of the duck?

In a split-second, she returned to smiling animatedly and waved a geriatric hand in the air so flippantly that the uncomfortable moment ceased to exist. 

“Oh honey, you can put him down if you want. He’ll come back over now that our door’s open.” Mrs. Farrow laughed. “Lou’s not my biggest fan. He’s such a prideful thing, you know. Just like Mr. Farrow - it’s probably why they get along so well!”

You blinked, then slowly bent at the waist to let Lou down. The duck made another disdainful quack, red eyes looking at you morosely. 

It’s little legs eventually rowed through the air in an effort to gain footing. You lightly placed him over the carpet and let go, allowing Lou to jump down. 

The duck began waddling away, though it appeared to hang its head as it did so. Occasionally, he turned to look at you, somber and sullen as if bidding farewell before walking on death row. 

“Aww, poor little thing.” Mrs. Farrow drawled. At your side. “Looks like my Lou is sweet on you! Poor guy, I can see why! Again, a lovely young thing like you is probably a gift from above in this stuffy old place.” 

“Say, how long have you been here?” 

You turned to the old woman. “About a week, I’m still getting settled.”

Mrs. Farrow nodded vigorously, eyes bright but mouth pursed. “A week, a week?! A week and no one’s introduced themselves to you?”

“Holy Toledo, you must think we’re all a bunch a’ snobs in here! That’s no good. Oh! Why don’t you come over for dinner sometime and me and my mister can show you some proper hospitality?” 

“Oh, that's really nice of you —” 

“Sure! Sure! It’ll be great, how ‘bout tomorrow night? It’d give us some time to get prepared, have things cleaned and settled. Do you like steak? That’d be perfect, actually. I’ve got some in the freezer just waitin’ to be defrosted.”

“Um, well — That’s a little short notice…”

“I’m sure Mr. Farrow won’t mind. He’ll be glad for the company, and if he isn’t, well he will be when I’m done with him.” She chortled. “Just another joke, honey. He’s always dyin’ to talk to someone that isn’t me. It’d be a real treat to him. Treat ta me too! What do you say?”

Your mouth opened and closed as a light sheen of sweat broke over the nape of your neck. Mrs. Farrow’s sharp eyes were wider, attempting to beguile you while your head was still spinning. 

“I-I guess, maybe —” You stammered.

“Wonderful!” The eccentric woman’s eyes lit up like fireworks, cigarette-smoker’s voice becoming truly raucous in her delight. “I’ll go ahead and get started. You go get back to what it was you were doing before Lou and I interrupted you! And don’t worry about a thing! We might be old timers, but a good meal and good cheer never go out of style.” 

Mrs. Farrow laughed, pretending to shoo you away until you were back inside your apartment and she was pulling your door to a close for you. 

“Have a good night, honey! We’ll see you tomorrow! 6 o’clock, don’t be late!”

Before you knew it, you were staring at the back of your own door again. 

‘What the fuck just happened?’

Bad idea, right?

Adam x fem!reader

Summary: You weren’t really known for your good decision making skills.

Part 2

CW/TW: first attempt at smut, Adam is his own warning, unsafe sex, semi public, college au!!!, dubious consent if you squint, oral both reciving, p in v

The golden door knob of the bathroom door dug uncomfortably into your lower back, and outside of the room music was playing loudly. And even though the bathroom was neatly stocked and you usually take your time to snoop around and steal stuff from frat parties, right now all you could focus on was Adam’s hand in the back of your neck, forcefully frenching you while he pinned you against the door.

The kiss was disgustingly wet, teeth clanking together and his tongue shoved down your throat. And it was still the best make out session you ever had with anyone.

And the best part of it all? His tongue piercing. Hottest thing you have ever experienced.

When your lips disconnected you were connected by a string of saliva. But it seemed like Adam hated the mere thought of not touching you in anyway. The hand on your neck quickly moved towards your hips, together with his other one. Shit. His hands are huge. Fuck that, he was big in general. He had to bend his neck and back at an awkward angle to be able to kiss you.

Golden eyes starred right into your own eyes. His pupils were blown wide and his lips were pink and wet, his face in general was slightly flushed. You wish you could keep your composure like that. Your whole body felt hot, and you probably also looked that part. The way Adam smirked at you confirmed your fear. Before you could throw some sort of remark at him, he started kissing and biting your neck.

You couldn’t suppress the surprised gasp leaving your mouth and the shaky call of Adam’s name. Adam’s right hand weaselled his way under your shirt groping your tits, while his left hand went towards your ass, making itself at home in the back of your jeans pocket.

Your own hands grasped at Adam’s hair. Fingers digging into the surprisingly silky thick strands. Adam groaned at the seemingly present feeling. His left hand gave your ass a generous squeeze before he removed it and moved it towards unbuttoning your jeans.

“Adam-" you shakily called out, but you were interrupted by your own moan from Adam biting extra hard at your shoulder. Adam rolled his own hips into your own, or well, more like into your stomach because what the fuck why is he so tall and so big and has such broad shoulders and Jesus even his bulge is big can you really take that??

Collecting all your strength and will power, you pushed at Adam’s shoulders to give yourself some sort of space. Even though that push was weak as fuck, Adam followed your wish and gave you some space. A little. His hips were still flush with your own but at least he straightened his back a little and you guys weren’t breathing in the same air anymore. Your hand was still grasping at Adam’s shoulder, into his black shirt. Because you truly didn’t want him to leave. He raised his pierced brow in question at you.

“Dude, we won’t have sex in a bathroom. At a party.” You told him straight up. Your dignity couldn’t take it. And also if someone found out you were fucking your ex boyfriends most hated band member, at the nasty frat party he was throwing, in his bathroom, you would kill yourself from sheer embarrassment.

Adam rolled his eyes at you, as if you just told him the stupidest thing he has ever heard. His hands were on your hips now, massaging soothing circles into the plush flesh. You didn’t notice it, like 2 minutes ago, but thanks to Adam’s skilled fingers your pants were shimmed down a good bit, fully exposing your panties. Great. Since you didn’t plan to hook up with anyone today, you just had to wear your baby pink panties with the ugliest bow sewn into the front.

“Mmm, babe, who gives a fuck? People fuck at parties alllll the time, just.. relax, baby.” His thumb was now playing with the hem of your underwear.

Shaking your head at him, you tried to collect your 1 whole brain cell to remind you how bad of a decision this was. Using one hand to pull up your pants, you wanted to use to other hand, which was still holding unto Adam to push him away once and for all, but he was quicker than you. Damn you, guitarists players. He easily grasped both your wrists into his one hand and used the other one to pull you flush against him.

“Jesus! Alright, alright, we don’t have to fuck. We can do other fun stuff though.”

Before you could ask him what the fuck he’s talking about, he kissed you again. Probably to shut you up. He’s one to talk, you don’t think Adam has ever shut up, in his life.

Still keeping his tongue inside your mouth, and his hand on your body, he herded you away from the door. Which you didn’t even notice because all you could think and sense was him, till he sat you down at the edge of the bathtub. Your bare ass meet the cold porcelain, because Adam was already pulling both your jeans and underwear off. He was kneeling down in-front of you, a nice sight you had to admit.

Adam was currently grumbling to himself, because to properly take off your clothes he had to also take off your shoes and all he wanted was to get his dick wet and now he’s on his knees undressing you while his dick aches. Thankfully it didn’t take long for him to slip you out of your shoes, and in his slight frustration he simply threw them over his head, not caring where they landed.

“Fucking hell, you really know how to make a guy work for it, huh? Spread your legs, slut.” Adam placed his hands on your knees, his eyes were flickering between your hidden core and your eyes.

“What? No more ‘Babe’ and ‘Baby’. Sooo rude of you.” You teased him with a grin on your face. Actually you were nervous, no one ever went down on you. But, well, it’s not like you go around sleeping with everyone. You only ever slept with your ex and that experience was so horrid that you considered celibacy. Shit, if Adam wasn’t such a charming asshole you would have tried to shake him off like 3 make out sessions ago. But no, he had to spin your head around and made your insides into molten lava. Fuck.

“You really want to test my fucking patience? Dumb bitch…” He took matter into his own hands and gripped at your thighs to pull them apart. Even though his words implied something else, he was still gentle.

You quickly shut your legs again, your knees knocking together painfully at the force you used. Adam seemed to be even more aggravated.

“Wait!..Uh..I..Didn’t shave..?” You carefully spoke the words out loud. God help you. What did you even want. Do you want to leave?..No. You just need to get over yourself. Easier said than done.

“Babe, does it look like I give a shit?” Adam raised a pierced eyebrow at you. He gently rubbed your knees, looking into your eyes. And then he started laughing in realisation.

“What a fucking limb dick! You’re joking! Fucking useless excuse of a man. Next you’re going to tell me you’re a virgin.” Ah shit, he figured it out. Your body ran even hotter at Adam’s mocking of your ex. AH.

Adam’s face seemed to turn giddy, “Are you?”

You shook your head at his question.

“Eh, whatever. It’s better this way. Virgins they get sooo fucking clingy, it ain’t cute . But don’t worry, babe, it doesn’t matter how many guys you have fucked since I’m going to be last one.”

Before you could question him, he used your moment of confusion to settle properly between your thighs and he licked a broad strip up your pussy.

A moan escaped your lips, while one hand tangled into Adam’s hair and the other one covered the lower half of your face. Biting at your lip, you tried to remind yourself to breathe.

The delicious contrast between his hot tongue and cold piercing made you feel dizzy. You need him, genuinely.

Adam’s thick fingers found your entrance easily. He gently eased one finger in, which wasn’t hard since fuck you were wet from simply being near him.

His tongue drew pattern into your clit while his finger gently pushed in and out of you. Wait..Was he fucking spelling his name into your clit???

Your eyes where closed while you tried to focus on relaxing.

Adam’s free hand snacked up your torso and he pulled your shirt down, exposing your bra. With skill he was able to free your one (1) boob from the bra, and he pinched your nipple. Hard. At the same time his lips left your cunt and he also bit the inside of your thigh.

“Ouch! What the hell! Can’t you bite and pinch in a sexy way?” You asked him while starring into his golden eyes.

“Eyes on the price, baby, or I might just leave you high and dry.” He smirked at you, and when his lips returned to your desired place, he made sure to hold uncomfortable eye contact with you. Asshole.

Even though you were embarrassed to hell and back, you kept your own eyes trained on his. Fuck, he was good at this. You really were missing out till now. Keeping your moans and whimpers of Adams name at bay was near impossible.

He slowly entered another thick finger, stretching you out deliciously. And with a come hither movement of his fingers, he hit places which you didn’t even know existed.

“Fuck, Adam, please don’t stop pleasepleasepleaseplease-“ You couldn’t keep your composure anymore. What kind of witchcraft is he using that he can make you fall apart like that.

Adam stuffed you full with a third finger, sucking at you clit and carefully nipping it with his teeth. It wasn’t a big surprise, with the constant stimulation, that you came all over Adam’s face. Your thighs squished Adam’s head and your eyes were squeezed shut, while your fingers were tugging at Adam’s head. If you wanted to tug him away or towards you, you weren’t too sure.

Carefully removing his lips from your overly sensitive private parts, Adam whipped his face with the back of his hand while chuckling. Sucking his own fingers dry while starring into your soul, you tried to catch your breath.

“Aww, was that my baby’s first orgasm?” He mockingly cooed you. Adam got up from his kneeling position and rubbed his knees.

“Shut up.” You simply told him. Yeah, very creative of you.

Adam grabbed your cheeks into his hand and squeezed them together, “You ready to suck the best dick you will ever get?” He asked you while grabbing his hard dick through his cargo pants.

You turned your head slightly, trying to bite the thumb near your mouth. Adam took the opportunity to graze his thumb over your canine while you bit down on his thumb. You made sure not to actually hurt him. He smiled down at you and moved his thumb to massage your tongue.

You couldn’t help but to wrap your lips around his thumb and to suck it and stroke your tongue against the underside of it.

“Fuckkk babe, giving me a taste of how heavenly it will be? Jesus, I hope for you, you have a weak gag reflex.” He unbuckled his heavy, studded belt and unbuttoned his jeans to pull them down, together with his boxers. They had guitar prints on them. Cute.

Right. You really bit of more than you could chew. His huge fucking hands should have been your first warning.

So yeah, his dick was big. Huge, even. So what. You could handle that. Maybe you should have written your testament before coming to the party. Oh my god, how embarrassing will be this? Cause of death: Choked on a huge dick.

Of fucking course he had an prince albert piercing. The sluttiest piercing known to man. The golden, curved rod really suit him tho.

“Bitch, I swear to fuck, if you say that you don’t give blowjobs I’m going to-“ Adam slightly threatened you.

Rolling your eyes at his rambling, you wrapped your fingers around his cock and carefully licked his tip. You tried not to think too much about the fact that your fingers could barley wrap themselves around him. Adam’s hands immediately tangled themselves up in your hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail to keep the hair out of your face.

You tried to get as much spit on Adam’s member as you could, the more the better.

“Ah, fuck yeah, I love when bitches slobber all over my dick.” Adam smirked down at you.

Your lips were already wrapped around his tip, your tongue playing with the piercing. Even though you avoided it till now, you looked up at Adam to glare at him.

Obviously Adam didn’t take your glare serious, urging you with a hand at the back of your head to take in more of him. Rolling your eyes at his nonsense you obliged him, trying to relax your throat and to take more into your mouth. You really had to focus on breathing through your mouth.

Adam booped your nose, making you look up at him, “Shit, babe, you’re so goddamn pretty.” He mumbled.

His dick is down your throat AND that’s what’s making you blush. Ugh. You’re weak.

“Cmon, keep looking at me with those slutty eyes. Don’t you want to make daddy feel good?” Part of you cringed at his words, the other part got even more turned on. This was something you needed to addresses within yourself at 3 am when you’re questioning all of your life decisions.

In your try to get him even deeper down your throat, he hit the back of it, causing you to choke. Ugh. Adam groaned at the feeling. He trailed a finger across your throat, “Chillax, sweetie.”

His hips rolled forward, testing the limits of your gag reflex, “..But don’t worry, baby, we can train that gag reflex of yours away. It’s hot anyways when whores gag on my huge dick.”

Can he just shut up? You’re already sucking his dick, he doesn’t need to talk about other girls.

Even though you had your lips wrapped around your teeth to keep from hurting him, because of his words you slightly grazed the underside of his cock with your teeth.

Adam yanked you off his dick by your hair, glaring at you, “Watch it, whore.”

You couldn’t help the whine which escaped your throat at the lack of contact. But also your fucking jaw hurt already.

“That’s what I fucking thought. How about you beg for me to shove my dick down your throat, huh? Acting all ungrateful and shit..”

You pressed your lips tightly together. Could you get over your pride by begging for dick? Adam’s dick at that? The most obnoxious guy on campus?

Before this you have never really interacted with Adam, you only ever saw him in passing, thanks to your ex. The rumours floating around didn’t help you with truly ever interacting with him. But one thing you always were sure of with Adam, he had a starring problem. His golden eyes seemed to be constantly trained on your figure. So it didn’t really surprise you that he wanted you to keep your eyes on him.

“Adam, please…” You whimpered out. He has bewitched you body mind and pussy because what the fuck.

“Please what, slut?” His thumb was rubbing at your cheek gently.

Fucking hell, even though you just came your pussy was aching. And it was not like you didn’t sit right in front of the solution to your problems.

Making sure to look Adam in his half lidded when you gave your impression of puppy eyes or doe eyes or whatever stupid eyes could get him to fill you up.

“Adam, please I need you to fuck my..pussy. Please?” You asked him. Ah. You hate begging and dirty talk, most humbling experience in your life.

Adam seemed rather pleased at your words, till you got to the part where you asked him to fuck your pussy, at the prospect of that he turned down right giddy. Grasping under your arms, he pulled you up. A surprised little gasp left your lips, as you hang in the air for a second. Great, he’s strong. Why are you surprised? You knew that.

“Oh, baby, I can give it to you however you want. Against the wall? On the floor? Want to ride me till your little legs give out? I can fuck you in front of those idiots who think they deserve to simply look at you.” Adam grinned down at you.

All you could do was gap at him like a fish out of water. Your brain is fried. Adam could tell by the smirk adoring his face, because of course he could, “But apparently I already finger fucked that little brain of yours out off your head. Need me to make the big decisions, huh?”

You simply shook your head at him. Adam bend down to kiss you, tongue first obviously. You wrapped your arms around his neck. His hands were on your bare ass, squeezing and groping. With his body he herd you towards the sink. With great displeasure he ended the kiss, he gently turned you around, bending you over the sink carefully. When you looked up, you made direct eye contact with your mirror image. Ew. You looked messy af.

Letting your eyes wander even more up, you looked at Adam who stood behind you. His own eyes were focused on your ass. Or maybe your pussy. It was hard to tell. When he looked into the mirror he grinned at you. His hand softly ran over your back and butt, making you relax your muscles.

“Alright baby, you just gotta chillax for me. ‘Tis might be a stretch…” Adam slowly rubbed the tip of his dick against your clit and entrance while watching intensely your face through the mirror.

“Adam..Cmon don’t tease me.” You whined out.

“Don’t have to tell me twice, babe.”

And with that he slowly entered his thick tip into your tight cunt. His hands were on your hip, softly massaging them.

A stretch summoned it up pretty well, but it felt delicious. Thank Adam for his prep, otherwise you would have died. And you would have truly pulled through on that celibacy promise.

Moaning shamelessly, you bit your finger in an attempt to quiet down. Fuck fuck fuck, who knew Adam could hit all those spots.

“Fuuuck, you’re really sucking me in. Vice fucking grip, you really don’t want to let me go, huh?” A breathy laugh left his pink lips. His tongue wet his lips and then he bit down on it.

With every rock of his hips he entered more and more into you. Shit, he seems endless. Adam’s lips grazed across the back of your neck and shoulder blades. His stumbles scratched your skin deliciously. Sloppy kisses were placed on your shoulders.

“ Shit, if you keep squeezing me like that I won’t last long.” Adam mumbled into your skin. It seemed like those words weren’t meant for your ears.

You rested your heated cheek against the cool sink, so you could also successfully avoid looking at yourself being fucked into oblivion.

“Adam..” An especially well placed roll of his hips broke your sentence of in a moan, “You ever..Fuck! Ever thought about having a smaller dick..ha. Splitting me in two, Jesus.”

Adam raised his hand and spanked your ass, then he made sure to whisper directly into your ear, “Aww, my poor baby, gonna tap out? My dick too big to fit into that tight pussy? Shit, baby, I’m going to ruin you for anyone else. I will fuck you loose.”

Before you could tell him that, that is in fact not how that works, he started to pistol his hips into your own.

Grasping at the edges of the sink, you gasped and moaned at the amazing feeling. You get sex addicts now.

Adam mumbled something’s to himself, through your own haze of pleasure you only grasped a few words.

Grasping one hand under your chest, Adam hoisted you up so that your upper body was bend up. Your back against his chest. His own face was right besides yours, turning your face towards his. Your lips crashed into each other. With his one hand he fondeled and pinched your nipple of your still freed tit.

You stopped the kiss to gasp for air, while Adam seemed to have the time of his life, “Watcha think babe, think we should get these here pierced?” To emphasise he his words, he gave an extra hard tug to your nipple. All you could muster up was a pathetic whine.

How he can talk so much while you’re basically brain dead was beyond you.

Adam snaked the other hand down your body, gently rubbing circles into your clit.

You would like to personally thank other woman Adam has ever slept with who made him into this sex god. Because my god, does he have magic fingers. And a magic tongue. And a magic dick. He’s also a great kisser. And is handsome. And rich. His style is also decent. Now, all you need is to fix up his personality, and he would be perfect.

“You close, baby?” Adam groaned into your ear.

Nodding your head furiously, a hit of clarity washed over your brain, “Wait- Adam..Do..Ah! Don’t come inside, ‘m not on birth control.”

This seemed to straight up turn Adam even more on.

“Don’t talk dirty to me, slut. Want me to knock you up? Make you all round ‘n shit?” His one hand moved from your boob to your stomach, grabbing the plushy flesh.

You tried to shake your head, but shit his words turned you on so much. You're realising more about yourself during a one night stand than during your therapy sessions. What does that say about you?

“Shit, the way you’re squeezing me just screams yes.” Adam went to apply more pressure on your clit, causing you to sob due the overwhelming pleasure.

And just like that you came around his dick, you felt yourself squeeze him dry. It didn’t take long for Adam to come after you. You felt his hot cum fill you up.

Adam left soft kisses across your neck and shoulder soothing rubbing his hands all over your body. You focused yourself on breathing in and out while steadying your breath.

Carefully Adam slipped out of your abused hole, but he kept his arms wrapped around your stomach. You leaned your back against Adam’s broad chest, your legs felt weak as hell.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, it made you realise how bad you actually looked. You can’t step outside like that. Obviously your whole body was flushed. The neck line of your shirt was pulled down your boobs, showing off your bra while only one tit was actually out. Most of your skin was covered in hickies and bite marks while your hair looked like a birds nest. You’re wearing 0 pants and Adam’s cum was slowly dripping down your thights. Great, now you have to go and buy plan b.

Properly fixing your bra and shirt, to at least make you feel somewhat better, you tried ti smooth out your hair next.

“What’s your opinion on that?” Adam’s chin was resting on your shoulder while he was watching intensely.

“..What? Getting knocked up?? Horrible.” You frowned at him.

“Would be hot. Nah, getting you pierced up, babe.” Adam’s grin pisses you off lowkey. Note to yourself: never trust Adam with birth control.

You scoffed at him, “Isn’t the healing process annoying?”

“Nah, it ain’t that bad.”

“How would you even know?”

Taking a half step back, an arm still wrapped around you though, he pulled up his black shirt. Showing off his own golden nipple piercings. Ok, thats sexy.

Averting your own eyes, you looked around the bathroom to look for your panties and pants. Ah, they’re still by the bathtub.

Adam was once again close to you, now he was smoothing down your hair.

You have listened to your friends bitch and moan about situation ships who they can’t get enough off. And you had to admit, you didn’t fucking get it. But now, with Adam’s lips against your hair line? Yeah. You’re whipped now.

Useless fuck boys.

Adam scratched at his stubbly chin, “I gotta piss, slut. Want to hold it while I do?”

“No.” What the fuck.

“Your loss, bitch.” He shrugged at you.

Shaking of his arms, you waddled around to put on your pants. You tried to avoid looking at Adam real hard. When you were fully dressed, you stole a glance at Adam. Yup, he was standing at the toilet. Fucker.

Looking around, you found your shoes near the door. Walking over, you stumbled around to put them properly on.

Putting your ear against the door, you tried to listen for any foot steps or chatting. Sadly the sound of Adam and the music outside made it really hard. Should you really go through the door? What else could you do?

And there was a knock now on the door, making you jump up.

“Occupied!” Adam yelled out.

“Dude, this bath has been occupied for over 30 minutes now! Get the fuck out!” Ah shit, that’s the voice of your ex. Now you’re really going to die.

Covering your mouth with your hand, you looked helplessly towards Adam, who was now zipping up his pants.

He walked over and was about to unlock the door, when you slapped away his hand.

You mouthed “What the fuck!” At him. Adam simply rolled his eyes at you and then raised his eyebrow at you. Yeah. What were you going to do?

Wait…This bathroom was at ground level. Looking around, you spotted the window behind the bathtub. Quickly walking over, you opened up the window and looked outside. Ok, no one is there. And you can easily climb out.

Swinging your leg over, you carefully slided down towards the ground.

You heard a “What the hell.” From Adam, before the sound of the door unlocking ringed out.

“Jesus dude, it smells like fucking sex in here. Don’t tell me..” Before you could fully listen in on the conversation you decided to fuck off.

Pulling out your phone, you looked up a 24 hour pharmacy near you. It wasn’t that far away from your apartment. With a sigh you started to walk towards your destination. You pointedly ignored all the texts from your friends. You really needed to collect your thoughts now.

Standing still on the side walk, you realised that Adam neither flushed the toilet nor washed his hands. That’s who you let it hit?? Why can’t you be attracted to normal guys, but no you’re into the trashiest of the trash.

The light of a car flashed you in the face, and the car stopped besides you.

“You still want plan b?” Adam called out through the open window.

Starting a mental battle and immediately losing it, you got into the passenger seat.

Adam’s eyes traveled over your figure before he put the car into drive and started driving towards the pharmacy. It was a quick drive and before you could unbuckle your seat belt Adam already got out and walked in.

While Adam was away you took the time to look around. Those were pretty leather seats and this car looked down right expensive. It smelled like his cologne in here.

Adam was one of the many nepo babies at your college. Your ex was also one of them. Even though they dressed in an alternative style, these guys never had to truly struggle, never experienced hunger. Part of you was envious of that.

Adam got back into the driver seat, slamming his door shut. He carelessly threw the pill package into your lap with a cold water bottle.

“..Thanks.” Ripping apart the package, you placed the pill under your tongue while putting the bottle to your lips and then you swallowed it down.

Once you stopped drinking, you wiped away the water with the back of your hand.

Adam took your cheeks into his hand, squeezing it. You furrowed your brows at him in question.

…Ah.

Opening up your mouth, your lifted your tongue up and moved it around to show him you really did swallow the pill. Maybe he should just not cum inside you, problem solved.

“Shit babe, next time I gotta cum down your little throat.”

Next time, huh.

My favorite thing that happens in vox x reader fics is that when we’re dating Vox, Valentino just IMMEDIATELY invites himself into the relationship 😭

I love it cuz

1: That’s so him and

2: I want him too 💀

It’s just the thought that Valentinos like oh Vox has a gf now? Lemme see what the hype is about-

And Vox being a pathetic lil piss baby and not being able to tell Val no-

Reader just going along for the ride ❤️

I love when people write Vox pathetic ❤️

Boomerang (part 4)

Vox x Female!Ex!Overlord!Reader

Summary: Vox is determined to win you over, no matter what. You just want your damn peace back.

Warnings: some mature themes (mention of sexual arousal)

<— Part 3 Chapter Index

Vox gripped the bathroom counter, staring at himself in the LED outlined mirror. "You've still got it," he said to himself firmly, lifting a clawed finger to point at his reflection. "Just be cool, man."

He relaxed his face into his signature grin, leaning an elbow against the counter. "Hey Y/n, how's everything? I was wondering if you wanted to go for coffee sometime?" He threw in a wink for good measure.

A second of silence passed before he shuddered violently, breaking composure. "Ugh, no, no. Focus, man. Okay," he repositioned himself, shoving his hands nonchalantly in his pockets. He cleared his throat, mustering up his best confident, devil-may-care expression. "Doll, what do you say we get out of here tonight, yeah? Just say the word and I'll get us a private room at your favorite restaurant."

His smile twitched. Shit. That wouldn’t work on you either.

This was ridiculous. He started trends on a whim, charmed the masses to hang off of his every word, and yet—here he was, rehearsing in front of a bathroom mirror like a prepubescent boy with a crush. And failing miserably too.

He shook his head to clear it, hands grasping at the sides of his monitor so tightly it displaced the pixels on his screen. "Think Vox, what did you do to make her like you the first time?"

But if he was being completely honest, it was actually you who made all of the first moves. You who captured his attention like a vice. You who reeled him in, hook, line and sinker. There was no grand courtship on his part. In fact, he couldn't even remember the exact moment he had started to fall for you. It was all so easy, natural, seamless. He didn't have to do anything except for be himself.

He pursed his lips, turning back to the mirror warily. And—whatever, fine, fuck it. Not like anyone could see him debase himself like this anyway.

Vox sighed, his smile dropping like an overused mask. The desperation and vulnerability that he hated so much creeped back into his eyes, making him tense.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm such a damn idiot and—I just..." he trailed off, before groaning, dropping his head in his hands. "Fuck, this is pathetic."

What was he doing? Wallowing in self pity like some lovesick loser? For fuck's sake, he wasn't just some spineless bottom feeder, he was Vox. CEO of Pride's largest conglomerate. People would kill to be in his position.

A shaky grin forced itself back on his face as he lifted his head. Fuck, enough of this. Nothing was going to get done if he just sat here and twiddled his thumbs all day. It was time to make a move.

With his mental armor back in place, he marched to your room like a man on a mission. He may or may not have sent a drone on your tail to find it, since everyone else in this damned hotel seemed hellbent on pretending that they had short term memory loss when he asked. It was still a prototype, unreleased to the public. A camera the size of an ant, for incognito purposes of course.

When he finally reached your door, he pasted a confident, charming smile on his face. One that he knew used to fluster you once upon a time.

"Just act natural," he chided himself quietly, taking a deep breath before knocking on your door.

There was a moment of silence, before some shuffling was heard, and then the handle was turned.

Vox froze as you opened the door, dressed in baggy sweats with your hair in a disarray. Your shirt had ridden to the side at some point, and the rumpled neckline was exposing the enticing dip of your collarbone. He felt his mouth go dry.

And suddenly it struck him how much he missed you. God, he'd missed you. Your comforting presence, your lively humor, even the small things like waking up next to you or seeing your toothbrush next to his in the bathroom. And fuck, it hurt to have you just out of reach.

Your pretty mouth pulled down into a frown when you saw him, body language changing from relaxed to guarded in an instant.

Vox forced himself out of his trance, clearing his throat. This was his moment to shine. He'd practiced for this.

"Hey—" he started cheerfully, before the door was promptly shut in his face.

Vox blinked stupidly, standing in front of your room in shocked silence. Did—did you just—?

Frowning, he raised a hand to knock again. "Y/n?" He called out in confusion.

"Go away, asshole," your muffled voice came from somewhere on the other side of the door. "I don't want to talk to you."

"But—"

"I said beat it," you growled, before a glowing barrier materialized outside of your door. Fuck, if he touched that he knew he wouldn't stop bugging until tomorrow morning.

"Fine," he hissed under his breath, turning and storming away. So that was how you wanted to play it, huh? Fine, joke’s on you. He liked a challenge.

On the way back to his room though, he felt a familiar, pleasant tightness between his legs. Vox froze, slowly looking down at the noticeable tent in his pants in horror.

"Oh, come on."

****

The next few days could only be described as an intensely aggressive game of cat and mouse. He tailed your ass like a damn police dog, determined to get even a moment alone with you—but to his absolute irritation, you kept coming up with increasingly ridiculous ways to blow him off.

He invited you to take a walk with him after dinner? You suddenly developed a spontaneous stomach bug and now you were bedridden. He held a door open for you? You pushed open the other side of the double doors and maintained unimpressed eye contact with him the entire time. He couldn't even follow you with his micro-camera anymore, because you'd promptly discovered it and stabbed it to his bedroom door with a needle as a violent warning.

Nothing was going according to plan and he was growing more frustrated by the minute. What was the point of coming here if he saw you just as often as if he had stayed in his tower?

"How am I supposed to convince her to come back," his eye twitched, one night on a rant-filled phone call with Velvette. "If I can't fucking talk to her?"

Velvette looked at him like he was a dried piss stain on the wall. "Vox, do I look like I give a singular fuck about your dumpster fire of a love life?"

Ah yes, such encouraging commentary as always. Really, he didn't even know why he bothered to call if his abused ego was just going to get attacked while it was already rolling around in a fetal position.

"You're still on the call with me," he said pointedly.

Velvette rolled her eyes, scrunching her nose up at him in irritation. "Fine, since you're so pathetic, I guess I could spare some charity," she ignored his scoff, continuing without a hitch. "You need to fucking lay off, stop trying so damn hard to get her attention. It’s giving desperate and creepy."

"I'm not—"

"Yes you are," Velvette glared. "Listen. If you don't want to end up permanently dumped, you need to compromise. Stop acting on your emotions like a toddler, you can't fucking afford that right now. And neither can we," she grumbled the last part.

Vox dug his claws into the bedding he was lying on, tearing up the soft material. The thought of giving up on you physically pained him, but...this wouldn't really be giving up, right? Velvette was suggesting a temporary ceasefire, a way to make you let your guard down, which might not be such a bad idea. It was more like...a strategic redirection of his efforts. Something that would benefit him in the long run.

He needed to build up the trust you'd lost in him. Slowly, bit by bit, until you accepted his feelings again.

The gravity of the situation was daunting. Something told him that this was his last chance, that if he fucked up one more time, you really would be gone for good.

He couldn't afford to lose you like that. It would fucking break him.

A loud crash sounded in the background on the other line, jolting him out of his thoughts.

Velvette's face drew into an aggravated sneer as she turned around. "For fuck's sake. What the fuck is it no—"

The line went dark, cutting off the call.

Vox sighed, throwing his phone blindly somewhere on the bed as he leaned back, staring at the ceiling.

Sleep evaded him that night, but in its place he started to devise a new strategy. Velvette was right, if he kept pushing, he would only drive you away. It was time to change his approach, and as much as he hated to admit it, it was...time to put his pride on the backburner.

Because he could live without his pride, but fuck—he didn't even want to think about what an eternity without you would be like. Besides, it was only until all of this was over and you came back home. He just...had to be patient.

****

After taking a few days to regroup, Vox was now more than ready to put his plan into action.

He’d rehearsed an embarrassing amount of times in the bathroom mirror, popped a breath mint, chugged an energy drink, and slapped himself in the face for good measure. Not necessarily in that order.

Now, in the late hours of the morning, he waited patiently for everyone to filter out before making his move, quietly cornering you in the kitchen.

You were sitting in the far corner, hunched over a steaming mug just like he knew you would be. It was something you'd been doing since he first met you, always reserving twenty minutes after breakfast to enjoy a second cup. He didn't even need to look at the contents to know that there was only a single cream, but enough sugar to make an elephant go into cardiac arrest.

That precious information would forever be saved to his hard drive.

For a long moment, he just stood there like a certified creep, admiring the familiar scene with painful longing. You hadn't noticed him yet, so your expression was still the vision of perfect bliss, eyes closed with a slight uptick to the corner of your mouth. And suddenly, he wasn't in this shitty hotel anymore. The retro kitchen transformed into a sleek modern design, the white walls melting to light blue. It was one of the few lazy mornings both of you were able to spend together, and—

"What do you think you're doing?" Your irritated voice shattered his fantasy like a pane of rose-tinted glass.

"Ah, Y/n!" His grin slotted back into place like a puzzle piece. Fuck, he hadn't even said a proper sentence to you, and you were already looking at him like he was a piece of shit someone forgot to flush down a public toilet. He had to act fast or you'd walk out again. "Funny running into you like this," he chuckled, hiding his fidgeting hands behind his back. Electricity crackled between them. "Actually, I was wondering if—"

"No," you said sharply, cutting him off.

"I—What?" His grin twitched.

"Whatever it is that you're going to say, no," you snapped, turning your back to him for emphasis.

Vox went silent for a moment. Tone it down, he repeated in his head. Stick to the plan.

"Look," he started, softening his tone. "I realize that I haven't exactly been," he grimaced. "Fair to you."

You laughed bitterly. "Understatement of the decade, asshole."

"I'm sorry," he sighed, watching carefully as your shoulders tensed in surprise. "I'll stop, if that's what you want. I won't ask you out anymore or bother you with stupid, meaningless shit."

"But?" You said quietly.

"But I still want to be...friends with you," the word left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he swallowed it with a smile.

He chanced a quick glance at your face, and—well you looked like you didn't really buy it, but at least you didn't look like you wanted to kill him and dispose of his body in a ditch anymore.

"Alright," you said, after a long period of skeptical silence, your eyes unreadable. "I’ll hold you to it, then."

He closed his eyes. "Please, just consider—" he froze, processing your words.

You said yes? Fuck, you said yes!

He cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah, absolutely. Totally. Makes sense."

He caught the briefest flash of amusement in your eyes, before you turned to bring your empty mug to the sink.

"So, uh," he started giddily. Fuck rein it in man, slow down. "What are you doing later?"

“I’m busy today,” you shut him down immediately, making him deflate at your sharp tone. Then you paused for a second, seeming to contemplate something. “Well actually,” you said lightly, making him perk up again. “There is something you can join me for, but it’s a little…out of your depth.”

“Oh really? Try me,” he smirked confidently. As if anything would stop him from finally spending time with you today.

A vindictive spark suddenly flared in your eyes, making him hesitate. "Group therapy and trust exercises," you said smugly, and a jumble of odd noises quickly glitched from his head, his screen flashing briefly to show a giant, red exclamation point. "But since you're too busy with that billion dollar company and all, I thought you wouldn't be interested," you smiled sweetly.

Oh. You conniving little shit. You had him cornered.

Looks like he wasn’t the only one doing his homework.

“How f-f-fun,” he forced out, the words literally tasting like ash on his tongue.

“It is,” you nodded genuinely, making him double take. “I actually quite enjoy it.”

Vox pressed his lips together into a fine line, dread steadily welling in his chest as he realized that yes, you were actually serious. Sweet fuck.

For a second, Vox contemplated making a strategic retreat and calling it a day. He eyed the door behind him longingly.

But no, he couldn’t afford to back down from your little game just yet. If this was how you wanted to raise the stakes, fine. Bring it on.

Before he could lose his nerve, Vox mustered up a pained smile. "Actually," he said, making you raise a brow. "I'd like to give it a shot."

"Really?" You said incredulously.

"Yeah?" His grin twitched. "Why not?"

****

<— Part 3 Chapter Index

Taglist: @pooplyface1423 @spookysisters @that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main @neito327 @hxzbinwrites @coleisyn @bababahannah @yellowsubiesdance @dirk-strides @justaspectatorforfandomarts @harmoira @sunnyslug @gum-iie @lady-valtieri @mit-suri @whatelsecouldgowrong @sillysimplysilky @eternalera @aoiyx @hazellight11 @hopefully-not @tsuvvy @imcryinginemo @dinorawrss @rekoloid @ayesha-eroticax3 @sle3pyh3ad2 @l0verboyxoxo1111 @lucasisstupid @lu-ferri12 @fandom-queen37 @ilunapb @skyeliteratures @shannoncosplay @da-disappointment @memospacexx @crazyforbarnes

RIP to all the 10/10 fanfics that I LOST 😭💔

He looks so deranged I love it 🥰

What's in the trunk, Al?

Alastor x Reader - A very long mating season (doctor's appointment gone wrong)

WC: 9,698

Description:

Alastor’s been acting weird for a while now, and Angel Dust calls in a friend of his, you - the only doctor in the whole pride ring - to have you take a look at him. Despite Alastor’s insistence that it’s only a bad headache, you swear on your doctor’s oath that something more is going on… (fem reader)

Warnings:

SEX, NOT scientifically accurate, me NOT a doctor, reader and Alastor boing their groins a few times so yk do what you will with that info, rut, heat, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, blood (not that much), porn with plot, not edited

“Say, what do ya think is goin’ on with Smiles these days?” Angel Dust reclines his elbows on Husk’s bar, sipping at his drink while waiting for Charlie’s response.

“Alastor? Oh no, do you think something’s wrong with him?”

Angel tries not to roll his eyes at the princess. The poor girl, going around managing hell with a heart of gold and… seemingly zero observation skills. “Yeah Alastor! He’s been acting all weird lately. Hidin’ away at his radio tower most of the day, in his room when he’s here, never comin’ down anymore to make breakfast, not responding to my pranks! Ugh, I’ve been bored as fuck here without his crazy reactions.” 

Husk chuckles at that, pausing his cleaning. “Are you sure you miss that last part? I remember a certain someone almost getting killed several times over a joke.” 

Angel groans at the smug grin of his companion. If the damned cat wasn’t so cute he definitely wouldn’t let him get away with all his complacent remarks. 

Nifty darts out from under the bar, joining in on their discussion. Nobody bats an eye, as they were all used to the little demonness’s mannerisms by now. “Ooooh is this about Alastor? I saw him walking around and pulling at his own head earlier. He looked like he was in pain!” She giggles impishly. “Wonder what that’s all about!”

Charlie looked close to tears in worry, and without Vaggie around to help, Angel sighs, awkwardly trying to solve the tension he brought up. “Hey don’t worry ‘bout it, if you’re all noticing and it’s not just me, I know a doctor we can call up.” 

“There are doctors in hell?”

Angel snorts. “Fuck, even the princess of hell herself doesn’t know it! Yea there are doctors, or at least there’s one doctor I know of for sure. I guess most of the caretakers on earth ended up in heaven.” He twiddles with the soft tufts of milky fur on his chest. “She used to patch me up after… ya know, my work with Val and all. Not sure if she’s got experience with patients like him, but I could call her up and give it a shot.” Charlie darts into a standing position, squeezing Angel in a tight hug. He pats her shoulder hesitantly, still not used to how loving the princess was. “Yes! That’s just it Angel.” Then her sparkly eyes widened even more, sparkling brightly at a vision only she could see. “Oh Angel! Helping a friend out of the kindness in your heart! You’re already getting so close to redemption, I can feel it!” She pulls away just as quickly as she leaned in, shooting two thumbs up in his direction. “I’m counting on you for this one!”

“Yea, yea.”

Angel fumbles with the smooth buttons on his phone screen, finding her number in recents - he’d just called her a few days ago when Val worked him for 2 days straight, filling his body with his sick drugs and leaving him untreated, lying cold on the studio floor. 

“Hey toots? Yea, this is Angel calling.” 

There’s unintelligible mumbling. 

“No, it’s not for me. It’s for a… friend.”

_____________________________________________________________

You’re in your office wiping down the scarce collection of medical equipment you’ve garnered in hell. Hell’s sky casts a pomegranate glow on your figure, inflecting off the pleats in your skirt and button-up shirt. You had forgone a traditional white coat, as there was no such clothing around here. 

When you first landed in hell, you quickly realized that the social hierarchy similarly mirrored that of earths. There were the wealthy and powerful sins, celebrities - flashy, big overlords - and finally, the common people, average sinners. 

In the beginning, your optimism led you to think you could maybe become someone important. Why not try? You had an eternity in hell after all. Yet it didn’t take you long to realize that you didn’t have what it takes to be known. You weren’t a serial killer or a twisted psychopath in life. You didn’t have it in you to climb the social ladder like a cold-hearted politician.

You were a good-natured doctor who saved lives, who thrived on knowing you were the reason your patients could live comfortably. Your only flaw? You could say that curiosity was what killed the cat, or in this case, deer. You giggled, playing with the little bush of a tail you had. It was what guided you to persist through the long years of medical school despite the imposing student debts, unsympathetic parents and all. It was also what drove you to murder. 

One, just one time.

You remember the day with crystal clarity. Your boyfriend, who had tied you up and bound you to his car, which he steered off the edge of a cliff. The hot slickness of crimson liquid coating his hairline where the windshield smashed him, the horrified pried open state of his jaw, his eyes wide and searching for nothing in particular as they stung with the salt of his blood. 

The fall had miraculously loosened your ropes enough for you to wiggle out of them, hauling your scraped wrists out of the scratchy material. He begged you to help. He, who had betrayed you and planned to smuggle you away from the life you built for yourself. There was still time to call the police. His heart was beating steady and strong. You thought his body would be of better use to your research than alive.

Someone who dedicated their whole soul to saving lives, ended up in hell for taking one.

But that cruelty was a one time occurrence, and you still opted to play the good doctor in hell. You snort at the irony as you wipe down the stethoscope in your hand, then promptly set it down on the counter as your phone interrupts your reminiscent thoughts with a sudden ring. 

“Hello?”

Ah, it was Angel, a regular patient. You were fond of the spider demon. He’s saying something about a friend needing help. “Of course, could you get your friend on the phone so that I can schedule an appointment?”

Nervous laughter rings on the other side of the conversation. “Uh, here’s the thing. He doesn’t know that I’m makin’ this appointment.” 

“Oh?” Now you’re surprised.

“Listen this is gonna be a lot to ask for, and I already ask for too much outta you-.”

“Angel, you could never ask too much from me.”

You hear a shaky sigh. Then a pause. “A-Alright then, would it be ok if ya come over to the hotel and check him out there? He’s in some weird sorta pain, but he’s not the type to tell us.”

“Sure, I don’t see why not. When should I come over?” “It’s not emergent, as this has been goin’ on for a while and he’s still up and movin.’ How ‘bout tomorrow mornin’ 8:00 am? It’s gettin’ late and I’ve seen him like once today. I’m thinkin’ we should have the best luck tryna catch him after breakfast, when Charlie has him do a few tasks around the hotel.”

“Sounds good to me. Could I get a patient name?”

“Yea, Alastor.”

“Alriiiight.” You stretch out the word as you quickly jot down his name and time of the appointment. “And demon type?”

Angel snorts as though it was a funny question. You smile from the contagious sound of his entertainment, despite having no idea what was so hilarious. “...Demon type?”

“Sorry toots, I wasn’t laughin’ at ya. He’s a deer.”

“Oooh, a deer demon? Like me…” You jot that down too. “Take care, Angel. Let me know if you want me to give that ugly moth a sedative overdose!” 

Angel laughs, and you end the call on a gleeful note despite knowing that neither of you could really do anything to the overlords. Or… perhaps you could, perhaps they were made of the same perishable flesh as any other, perhaps you were letting their status outshine their mortality. Though that’s a thought for another time.

You perch yourself on top of your working chair, clicking through your VoxTek computer to file the appointment in your weekly schedule. 

Alastor. The syllables taste rich and familiar on your tongue. You swear that you’ve heard it somewhere before.

_____________________________________________________________

Alastor as in the radio demon Alastor? 

It took you a second to recognize him, as you’ve only seen him a handful of times, but once you do, you’re suddenly not so confident about today’s appointment. 

It takes everything in your power to sculpt your expression into a neutral one. You scan your eyes over your surroundings. Darkened green walls encapsulated a small bar that looked reminiscent of a casino slot machine. Angel Dust, your spider friend, and a sour-faced gray cat demon sat chatting at the bar, nervously glancing between one another and the tall man in red. Then there was the princess of hell, Charlie, and a white haired vertically challenged woman crowding the deer demon, waving their hands exaggeratedly as though they were trying to prove a point to him. 

Their heads swing in almost unison at your arrival, and you instantly realize that they must’ve been distracting him from your arrival. Right. He didn’t even know you were coming. You swallow your nerves and make your way to the bar, skin sizzling with the phantom touch of his crimson eyes on your figure. His twisted sharp grin blurred through your peripheral vision as you focused on maintaining eye contact. 

“Hey, I’m a doctor, and I’m here to-.”

“Eek! You’re here!” Before you could even offer your hand for a shake, Charlie all but sprints at you, interrupting you with a tight hug. You blink away the strands of her hair that caught in your eyes from the swirl of the motion. 

“Hello, Princess Charlie.” You wave politely. This was your first time meeting any sort of royalty in hell, although she wasn’t nearly as intimidating as the strawberry-haired demon situated behind her.

“I’m so so excited to have you here and oh! Are you by chance interested in joining our hotel? My hope is for sinners to be redeemed-.”

“Charlie.” The short white-haired girl lays her hand on Charlie’s arm. “Let’s not forget what she’s here to do, babe.” She must be her girlfriend.

White-hair shortie directs her attention to you. “Vaggie, nice to meet you.” She keeps her introduction short and sweet, gently pushing at Charlie once again, reminding her to inform you of the situation.

“Right, right. So, you’re here, the best and only doctor in the entire pride ring to help our friend who’s been struggling a bit.” You keep a cordial smile plastered on your cheeks as she talks. In the back of the room, you see Angel now working at distracting Alastor from leaving. Impatience begins to tug at your heartstrings, pleading the princess to keep it short. You didn’t want to fail so soon.  “...And we’re just really worried! He’s been having pains apparently, in his head. Headaches.”

You turn to look at said demon, who was still sitting atop the same bar stool, perched so stiffly that you could feel the secondhand pain of his muscles that must be aching. There’s a slight swishing of his tail, and he clutches what appeared to be his radio stick tightly with one clawed hand. Was he nervous? Your eyes sweep over the sweat beading under swept bangs, and the clenching of his teeth. Ah. It must be his “condition.” 

“Alright, Princess. I can tell you all really care for your friend. Just leave the rest to me.” You squeeze her shoulder warmly, guessing that she must be fond of physical affection. She grins delightedly at you.

“Great! This is so so so good. Thank the devil! I’ll leave you to that then! Best of luck! Not that you’ll need it or anything.” You keep waving at the princess until she disappears beyond the door, watching as she spun around several times to match your waves. 

You were equal parts burning with the need to get things started, and dreadful of approaching the menacing demon, who had resigned his attempts of fleeing. You walk carefully, tiptoeing as though you were advancing toward a frightened animal. Angel Dust - and the grumpy cat - look at one another, and finally dash away, after making what you assumed to be some sort of excuse to Alastor. 

He doesn’t look at you at all, instead choosing to stare straight ahead with that abnormally wide strained smile of his - if not for the slight twitching of his ears, you would think he’s not even aware of your presence. 

You clear your throat nervously, flexing your forearm to prevent it from trembling before holding it out for a handshake. If the rumors were correct, and you had no doubt they were, you certainly didn’t want to lose the radio demon’s respect; especially not in the first meeting. 

“Hello, you’re Alastor, the radio demon aren’t you? I-It’s nice to finally meet you!” Well, you were never that good at first impressions anyway.

For a moment you think you hear him sigh, a static-filled gravely sound. Nearly imperceptible. Then he’s turning to you, reluctantly reaching his hand to yours at a snail-like pace. You try not to feel too rejected. Or feel too mocked by the seemingly ever-present grin on his face, and the clear scrutiny in his eyes. 

“Likewise, my dear. It’s always a pleasant surprise to meet another deer demon in hell, given their supposed rarity. ”

You had an impression this was far from pleasant for him. Maybe he doesn’t want competition? You snort, brushing that thought away. As though a low-level sinner like you could be a threat. “Ah, right.” You playfully flick the fur of an ear, trying to lower the tension. His darkened eyes follow the motion of your hand. “I barely remember that I am a deer demon sometimes! Everything is the same as when I was human, except for the addition of some ears and a tail.”

His grin turns sharper, with the cutting flavor of something uncomfortable. “I assure you dear, you are very much not human. I can tell.” 

“...Right.” You close your eyes briefly, willing yourself into a more business mindset so as to ignore how awkward the whole situation felt. “So, could I get a description of your symptoms? I know Charlie told me, but I want to hear it straight from the source.”

You smile encouragingly at him, as you often did with difficult patients while alive. And you had a feeling Alastor was every bit of that - a difficult patient.

He straightens up, losing the slight hint of ease he’d started to gain. “Well, it is like I said. I seem to be experiencing pains in my… head.” He winces a little - likely due to said head pains, you note.

“And how long have you been experiencing these pains?” You lean against the edge of the stool next to him, not quite sitting on it but not standing either. 

Your ears twitch at the subtle creak in his stool. He’s shifting around again. “...Around three months.”

Your eyes widen, pushing yourself off the stool. “Three months! Why didn’t you say anything…?” You quickly shut yourself up before you could cross any boundaries, silently scolding yourself for the overt reaction.

“The pain wasn’t that bad.”

He’s lying. You narrow your eyes to warn him, you can tell.

He tries again. “...I assumed the pain would go away on its own.” 

“And not get worse?” 

He gives an affirmative nod. You ask him several questions after that, trying to get a quick history of his health complications during his time in hell. With each question he answers, you find yourself only getting farther from any sort of possible conclusion. 

As soon as you started working as a solo doctor in hell, you learned really quickly that demons rarely suffered from the same ailments as people did above on earth, and if they did their symptoms were different. Your mind rushes through illnesses other demons had visited you for - a snake demon who couldn’t get his skin to shed properly, a cyclops demon who grew an extra eye that blocked the vision of her original eye, a volcanic demon whose lava had leaked to his internal organs and started burning him from the inside…

What about deer demons? Little was known about them, to the point where you were even unsure of your own biology.

You bring a finger to your lips, chewing on your nail while thinking of your next steps. The curiosity within you begged to think of a conclusion, or even just a premise. Nothing. You finally pull your finger away from your lips, remembering where you are. Right. There’s no need to overthink things. You haven’t even done a physical examination yet. Speaking of which…

You gesture for him to stand up, regretting the motion immediately as his gaze turns displeased; likely at your attempt to order him. “Alastor, would you lead the way to a more private space?” His ears straightened, and he looked at you defensively. Why did your words never come out right? You blush and wave your hands back and forth in denial. “N-no, not - I meant for your physical examination.” 

Thankfully, he ignores your blunder. Nothing about his steady grin and lidded scarlet eyes revealed what he thought. “Right this way then.” 

You timidly follow after him.

Have you gotten so rusty during your time in hell that you couldn’t even talk to a patient without turning into a blubbering mess? You’ve only been here for a decade… or two… three decades. In that time, you’ve met with all sorts of patients, from lowly sinners to more powerful overlords. He’s tall, you observe. Very tall - almost 7 feet? Over? It shouldn’t intimidate you, he was far from the tallest demon you’ve encountered. 

But they didn’t tower over you. They didn’t have his same opposing presence, which unfairly dominated the entire room with its sheer power, and they certainly didn’t have… they didn’t have his… 

…scent.

Your knees go soft at the same moment he comes to a sudden halt, causing you to bump your body into his. Your forehead bumps into the hard bone of his scapula, startled hands reaching out to steady yourself by gripping onto his suit. He twists his head acutely to look at you, and you flinch, preparing yourself for his notorious anger, but you are only met with discomfort in his eyes. You hurriedly distance yourself from the demon. 

His jaw clenches and unclenches, and he’s looking at you as though he’s holding back from killing you right then and there. A strange, almost pleasant shiver runs through your body. You blink. What a strange response to potential danger.

Before you had time to apologize - for what, you don’t know you just feel like you’ve wronged him somehow - he masks his irritation with the same cheeriness in his smile. “And we’re here! Will my bedroom be a good enough space for your physical examination, dear?”

You swallow back the ever-growing weird feeling inside you. “Yeah, of course.” 

He hums an old-fashioned tune as he walks into his room, sharp clacks of his shoes dulling down on the red carpet that covered his bedroom floor. Your curious eyes catch two red armchairs, several deer skulls hanging ominously on the walls, a large maroon bed that was so neatly made it looked to be a mere display, and the soft glow of a swamp surrounded by forest trees in the distance. 

You unpack the equipment you carried with you - stethoscope, thermometer, gloves, examination light, cotton balls. You left your less earthly conventional items back in your office, as you had absolutely no idea whether they would be of use. Each new patient meant you had to study and adapt to their unique anatomical features and curses, on top of your prior anatomical knowledge. 

Alastor stays silent the entire time you rummage through your materials, except for the occasional thump of his tail on the bed sheets and the consistent hum of jazz and radio static, which was periodically interrupted by sharp pops. You smile internally at the flattening of his ears; he must be really annoyed by that hyperactive tail of his huh? Personally, you were quite fond of your own. But you could see why a man like Alastor would be bothered by this. 

You pull on your gloves, starting to settle into a comfortable pace. All is going well, you reassure yourself. All except for the weird musky smell from him that kept tugging unexpectedly at your insides. Better not breathe all that in. He could be contagious.

You pull out a thermometer. “Alright, I’m going to take your temperature ok…?"

He simply nods. So quiet today, especially for a man who never seemed to shut up on his infamous radio broadcast. 

Just when you think he couldn’t get any rigid, you see him stop dead at your hand cupping his chin. “Open your mouth for me…” His claws tear into the bed sheets beneath, and you pat his shoulder, trying to get him to relax. His tail furiously thumps against the sheets. Oh. He doesn’t want you to touch him. 

You remove your hand from his chin and manage to take his temperature, dipping the oral thermometer beneath his tongue. You could practically feel the heat emanating off his skin onto your hand. It would be surprising if he didn’t have a fever. “Since demons all have varying levels of body heat, I can only measure fevers by comparing them to your baseline temperature. I’d say you definitely have one based on your appearance alone…” You pull out your notepad. “...But I still need to record the results for future reference.” 

You might as well be talking to yourself. You didn’t mind it though, given that you were trying to ignore his overbearing presence. “Now, I’m going to examine your eyes and ears.” You take out your light and gently gesture for him to look upward. At least he was complying now. Eyes seem normal, just as evil and red as a demon’s eyes should be. You move to his ears, which you didn’t even dare to touch based on the sudden cautioning glare he was shooting at you. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t touch anything.” You smile non threateningly before shining the light at his ears, humming as you peeped inside. They quiver, the fur slightly brushing against the head of your examination light. 

“Hmm, nothing there either…” You rummage through your bag, pulling out your stethoscope. He narrows his already lidded eyes in distaste. “I’m going to have to make some contact with it… but I’ll be fast I promise. Just tell me if you want me to pull away.”

He grits his smiling teeth, finally speaking up for the first time during the whole appointment. “You will not be coming near me with that… thing.” You’re taken aback as he suddenly stands up, brushing off his coat. A single droplet of sweat runs down his clenched jawline. “I did not require such a ridiculous examination in the first place.” He’s trying desperately to keep up his usual buoyant facade. But his frustration, at something, kept breaking through the surface. “I’ll be perfectly swell in due time! Tell the princess that these pains are nothing and it will resolve itself.” 

You panic, reaching out to grasp at his lapels before you could even think about it. You’ve never had a patient leave untreated. “Wait! Alastor, I can’t just let you go like that. As a doctor, at least let me try to help!” The second you make contact with him, you watch in horror as his face twists into something truly terrifying. Crack! There’s a breaking sound, then his form twists, joints lengthening asymmetrically with frightening speed until he dwarfed you by at least an additional 3 feet. He leans down to stare you in the eye. You’re unable to look away from the morbidly glitching radio dials. “You can’t help me. Nothing you do will ever be of use to my situation. It would help me more, in fact, if you left this very instant.”

…What did he say? 

Nothing you do will ever be of use to my situation.

Nothing you do will ever be good enough.

Just like they told you when you started medical school all those decades ago. 

You don’t even notice that you’re crying until you’ve been standing there wordless for so long that his demonic form has slowly, inch by inch shrunken to his original self. You don’t even notice that your vision is blurry. All you felt was defeat. Humiliation, rather. Who were you to think that you could help an overlord in any way? You weren’t even qualified to be a doctor down here in hell. No one is. You just thought you’d try. That’s all.

The ball at the pit of your throat tightens until you can barely breathe from concentrating on stopping the traitorous tears salting your cheeks. Distantly, through the muffled ringing in your ears and erratic static engulfing the room, you hear a low exhale. 

Could you get any more pathetic? You hold your breath when you feel a single clawed finger wiping at the stabbing fluids running down your face, each one hot and heavy with shame. You blink to clear your teary vision, and you see him looking down on you with an unreadable expression.

Apologetic? No, why would a man like him say sorry? Besides, he had nothing to be sorry for. He was correct in his reaction, you really couldn’t do anything to help. You just had to go and cry about it afterwards. Fuck. You sniffle pathetically, 

He speaks softly, the dense static lessening in volume. “There’s no need to shed tears over something that is not your fault.”

It doesn’t help. You didn’t cry often, but once the tears started it was difficult to stop. He lets his hand drop to his side and moves back to his previous position on the edge of his bed. 

“This isn’t something you can help me with, my dear. It’s an unpleasant condition I’ve had to suffer every year since I landed in hell, and nothing but waiting it out would help. This year just happens to be… more difficult than the others.” 

“Y-You’ve… had to go through this every year?” You picture the pain he must go through, and the empathy within you instantly felt for his hardships. What type of horrible things did he do on earth to deserve this? You snort with your trembling voice at your ridiculous question. You’re in hell, dumbass. What do you think?

“Every year.”

“Well, m-maybe I can help and we just don’t know it yet. Let me try, at least?” Hope dares to grace your mind, and the tears, although still running down your face, slow to a trickle.

He hesitates. He’s going to say no, isn’t he? That’s alright, you’ll do everything in your power to research deer demon biology on your own time. “You may try.” 

You blink in surprise, and your lips slowly twitch upward into a forming smile, despite the liquid sorrow still lining your eyes. In contrast to his uneasy expression, his tail thumps lightly at your grin. You find it… cute how closely the movements of his tail matched his feelings.

You pull out your stethoscope once again, attaching the tips of the headset to your ears. You glance at him for permission one more time, and he tilts his head with a disconcertingly wide grin as though to feign nonchalance. His flattened ears and tight fists however, told another story. Nonetheless, he compliantly unbuttons the top of his shirt and looks to the side, lying on his back. You smile apologetically and gently press the stethoscope to the skin of his chest.

Heartbeat… was sound. Slightly quick, likely due to current discomfort. You move the stethoscope around his chest, and you hear what sounded suspiciously like a breathy gasp. Focusing on your work, you dismiss it as a background noise. Lungs seem normal. 

Your own heartbeat is starting to quicken, for a reason other than the sniffles that had dulled to an occasional disturbance during your examination. His scent. Your eyes nearly tear up again from the effort not to breathe him in from your proximity. You feel the gummy walls lining your mouth salivate, the sticky fluid pooling in the crevices of your teeth. Was this possibly a symptom? Perhaps he was contagious after all, and the illness was an airborne one. You think back to a time when you had to treat a cloud-like demon who was overly condensed with liquids; and the very next day, you found that you’ve contracted a similar ailment yourself, your entire face bloated with an excess of fluid.

Perhaps that was Alastor’s case as well?

You should’ve brought a face mask. You move the stethoscope lower to his abdomen. Digestive track… you press the diaphragm tighter against his lower abs to get a better read. 

This time, the low noise that escaped his throat was almost impossible to miss. The strange feeling inside you squirms at the sound, but you clear your head of any dirty images, knowing that the radio demon was famed for not being interested in anything of that matter. Right. He’s most likely just in pain. Stay professional. You shift the stethoscope around, searching for a sound. Don’t make this moment any longer than it already is, you pray to no entity in particular.   

You move further down, still not hearing a sound from his digestive tract. Was that the issue here? He’s been having a rough time because there’s issues with his digestion? Well, that would certainly explain his reluctance to admit his illness. 

You’re so focused on listening that you don’t notice the gasps through gritted teeth rising in volume, relentless shifting of the demon beneath you, or the way your head, leaning ever so close to his skin in an unconscious effort to move closer to the stethoscope, was fastly approaching a forbidden area. Not even the heated gentle graze of suit fabric brushing against your chin interrupted your concentration. Neither did a strangled static-filled noise piercing the air. 

It was only when you felt the sudden assault of rough cloth, covering something pulsing warm and hard, colliding into your cheek did you finally blink in surprise, dropping the bottom half of your stethoscope in your haste. 

You stand up in a flurry, fluttering your lashes in disbelief as Alastor, the infamous feared radio demon overlord you only just met today, laid on his bed beneath you bucking his hips shallowly into the air where your face was a moment prior. His teeth are clenched so hard crimson black liquid drizzles over his gums and soaks the lapels of his suit. His eyes twitch along with his flattened ears, flickering and crazed, while his claws have shredded what was left of his bed sheets at this point.

“A-Alastor…?” 

His voice turns into something inhuman, growls layered with the eerie buzz of static. Before you could fully process the situation, he encircles a hand around your wrist, gripping you with bruising force to land on top of him. His arms encircle you, sinking his claws into your hips. Fuck, that hurt. But… you let yourself breath in his scent at last, having let your guard down with the suddenness of his movement. The effect was immediate. It felt as though you’ve given yourself a tranquilizer, with the way your muscles seemed to suddenly fail you and you melt submissively like butter into his hold. 

He tosses you onto all fours, and your elbows knock into one another as you strain to hold yourself upright. The dizzying, all-consuming fog of heat building within you and permeating each of your senses with its presence was all too foreign for you. Your mind scrambles, losing all progress of diagnostic thoughts. You wanted to pull away, to get him to calm down so you… could… talk…

That was the last of your conscious thoughts as you feel yourself slip into some sort of hypnotic bliss. He pulls your skirt to the side swiftly, pressing his hips to yours, the movement coarse and sloppy. The noise he lets out at the contact is depraved. 

“Darling… I’m just going to stay here for a bit… ngh - just for a bit.”

For a moment, he simply stays still, staticky gasps breathing hot on the back of your ears. He played with your tail, which was shaking back and forth with a mind of its own. You arch your back needily, pressing into him and prompting him to growl and finally hump into your heat. 

Was he saying something? You couldn’t tell with the way your brain had gone soft. An internal, animalistic voice told you to not think. Just part your legs and let the buck behind you have his way, it says. You whimper, the soft sounds slightly muffled by Alastor’s pillow - his pillow, which smells deeply, intoxicatingly, irrevocably like him. You’ve only met him today, but he was safe. The voice tells you that he’s yours, he’s going to protect you, he’s going to mate you.

He snarls into your ear at your needy whimpers, roughly jerking his hips into yours repeatedly. You whine, feeling the heat inside your abdomen crescendo into a sudden pain. You need him. You need more of him.

“A..Al…astor…hah… p-lease I need mo-re…” Your words fall apart with each thrust of his clothed cock over your soaked pussy, eyes starting to water with the frustration of not having his cock fill your aching hole.

In your heat-ridden mind, there was nothing you could think of but the insatiable need to be fucked dumb until you were filled by something. You cried in disappointment at not knowing what to ask. You try, you really do, but you can’t remember what the two of you were doing before this for the life of you. You gather enough strength in your ragdoll limbs to twist your neck at him, hand clumsily reaching for his pants. 

Then he stops.

He fucking stops.

Like a spell being broken, Alastor’s movements stutter to a halt the second your finger touches his zipper. He tears himself away from you, breaths shaky as he steps backward. It takes your dumbed-down consciousness a few moments to register what was happening. Your eyelids, which have begun to stick together from the adhesive of your dried tears, pry open ungracefully.

No. No, no, no, no, no! The fire in your abdomen twisted and turned, threatening to consume you whole with its intensity. He can’t leave now. No! You whine in protest, but he’s avoiding all eye contact with you. The bare skin on your hips were damp, and you realize it must be from the sweat you now see dripping off his skin in torrents. His mouth is twisted irregularly wide, even for him, as though he were pouring his all into maintaining his composure.

“My dear, I’m afraid I lost control of myself there. I do apologize, but right now you need to leave.”

You whimper, still stupidly reaching for him. Why would you leave? He’s right there. You need him, and you can smell, with a frightening accuracy you’ve never previously noticed in yourself, the desperation rolling off him. You climb toward him needily, pawing for his well-endowed girth, still twitching and hard under the offensive cloth, begging to be freed. 

“LEAVE.”

He didn’t take so kindly to your advances this time. With a single blink of an eye, you were torn away from your potential release and thrusted into the hallway, where you landed on your bottom, legs folded under one another and ears pressed against your head, staring at Alastor’s shut door with dazed eyes and unfulfilled burning in your womb.

Shit. As your mind clears and you tune into your surroundings - the red, flickering lights of the hallway and coarse texture of the rug beneath you - you think of the diagnosis that’s been right under your nose (literally) this whole time. You’ve dealt with animal patients before.

Yearly pains, usually lasting several months. Signs of fever. Changing behavior. Your heated reaction to his condition, the supposed contagiousness of it all. You’ve been blind as a deer in headlights. 

Alastor was in a rut.

_____________________________________________________________

Alastor thought that he'd gotten used to his ruts. That he would be able to handle his issues himself for the rest of eternity. 

It’s been nearly a century since he’s landed in hell, nearly a century since the torture began.

The first time the feeling hit him, it had been a complete shock. The feeling was foreign and intrusive; and while he had gotten used to his new height, physical animal features and sudden craving for cannibalism rather quickly, this cursed feeling was an entirely different field of issues altogether. 

He’s never been interested in sexual intercourse with another. Of course he knew what desire meant, but his own sense of desire had been so low throughout his life he barely needed to even touch himself. The small, infrequent bouts of want he experienced as a human was nothing like the searing hot whip of desperation that would haunt him in hell. He found it amusing, in an unpleasant sickening way; the way he thought himself to be entirely fearless, unaffected by what usually frightened others, yet the higher ups still ended up finding the one thing that bothered him and used it to punish his dead soul. 

He maintains the same grin and duties he had to attend to normally, albeit with a stiffer posture and less patient remarks. He didn’t touch himself. He had found out the hard way, during his first year, that touching himself would only increase the desire to an unbearable point and draw out the rut that much longer.

So he’d suffer through day by day, ignoring the itching in his antlers and the yearning confined in his slacks. 

Unfortunately, he’s come to the realization that each year without a mate, the duration of his rut would last longer than the previous. This year had been the longest yet, and given how fast time seemed to pass when he was not in a rut, it felt as though barely any weeks had passed since his last rut. If he were being honest, perhaps five months would be a better guess than three. Still, he followed the same rule he always did: do not give into the urges by having another, or make it worse by touching himself. It was his way of maintaining some semblance of control down in the depths of hell, where he found himself chained to not only a master but these unfavorable urges of his.

Though it was easier said than done. Many times he’s found himself unable to keep his composure, excusing himself from breakfast with the others, locking himself in his radio tower for days working on scripts, killing any scum who walked his way, doing anything to distract himself from the treacherous burning in his crotch. Anything to stop the inevitable bucking of his hips into nothing as his lower half takes on a mind of its own, wretchedly trying to catch a surface, any surface, to grind on.

Just when he finally got himself under enough control to sit at the bar for a drink, his hotel friends join him. Usually this was not a disturbance, yet the way they all seemed interested only in talking to him did strike his suspicion. People never initiated conversations with him, unless it was to foolishly challenge him to a fight. Not even his supposed friends, who had grown cordial enough with him over time but still maintained a comfortable distance.

Yet here they were, taking turns talking to him as though they’ve been doing the same congenial routine since he got here. Suspicious indeed!

He smelled her before he saw her. A sweet, tantalizing scent which wriggled into his throat and squeezed, causing him to stiffen his muscles and lid his eyes. She’s a doe. He realizes this all too late as he finds her standing in the doorway, bathing in the mouth-watering scent. The sudden flash of pain in his pupils alerts his companions, but not before they too, notice the girl.

He wanted to leave then, and really he could do so if he wished. Vaggie and Angel Dust couldn’t defeat him, and Husk was under his control anyway. But the traitorous need to get more of that delectable scent wafting off her body in waves was too strong for him to ignore. He’d only stay a few minutes more, he promises himself that. 

A few minutes turn into 10, and suddenly he’s all alone with her. 

A doctor. How ironic! She claims to hold the cure to his miseries, all the while not knowing that she had become part of the cause. Her presence was nearly unbearable to him who’d been in a rut for so long without a mate, and Alastor had to physically force himself to sit still by digging a claw into the meat of his thigh. She doesn’t notice his dilemma, nor does she notice the subtle crossing of his legs to hide the bulge of his painfully erect member, that had started leaking profusely into his slacks.

He plays the part of a gentleman the best he could, warning her with his eyes to maintain her distance. The poor girl was nervous and self-conscious, he could feel that. Normally he’d never care, but the damned hormones that influenced his thinking during his rut told him to soothe her, to assure her that everything would be ok, as tears quiver down her face. It was disgusting, the feeling of wanting to protect another. Disgusting, but also oh so right.

He held back when she accidentally touched him in the hallway. He held back, when she leaned in uncomfortably close, checking his temperature. He held back when she turned around, revealing her twitching tail and skirt that would be so easy for him to tear away and have his way with her. 

Yet he knew the unavoidable situation that would occur as soon as she had him lay down on his back, stethoscope in hand. He couldn’t help it. Each touch of her cool, gloved fingers pressing against his too-heated skin felt like the bitter promise of heaven for a soul deep in the trenches of hell. 

When her face is that close to the throbbing, aching part of his lower half, there was nothing he could do as a sharp sting of pleasure shot through his brain. He bucks his hips upward, body spasming and entirely fatigued from the many decades of having denied himself his biology. 

Why was he doing this again? At this point, who was he fighting against? Was he proving a point to the higher ups, letting them witness his impressive self control? Or was he torturing himself, making himself a fool by adding to the pain they already gave him? 

In the midst of his dilemma, he hadn’t noticed the way he grabbed her body and threw her onto the bed, nearly humping his hips into hers. He had been pent up for so long that he couldn’t even feel the pleasure initially, because his body was so used to him denying it. But when she turns her head to him, reaching out to touch him, looking at him with hazy, needy eyes…

Yes, that snaps him out of his thoughts. He must be out of his mind. After surviving a whole century of this torture, now he was letting go of himself all because he was put in front of another deer demon? 

He forgoes being courteous and removes her from his room as fast as he could, not giving the animal part of his brain a single second to change its mind. 

As soon as she was out, and he made sure his door was locked, he let out a pained growl, nearly crawling away from the door. His antlers lengthened, form twisted, the more animalistic part of him cries out in anger. Anger at himself, for throwing out his only chance at relief. His cock feels nearly numb with pain, growing in need from the narrow encounter a few moments prior. Resigning to his fate, he shakily unbuckles his pants, refusing to rip them off like he truly wanted to, for the sake of the little dignity left inside him. Rationally, he knew he was about to make things worse, but his instincts fed lies to him, telling him that this would make it all better.

Before he could even begin touching his leaking cock, he heard her. More specifically, he could hear her broken whimpers through the wooden material of his door, echoing needily through his head. Her scent had grown even stronger if possible. It was mind-numbingly sweet, despite the intensity being anything but so. He must’ve sent her into a heat, he realizes. 

This was going to… complicate things. Although Alastor could take care of himself, and was prepared to do so for the rest of his time in hell, he couldn’t let her - his doe - suffer from something he caused. Especially not with his current state of mind, where every molecule of his being told him to protect her. His mate. 

Then he hears the unmistakable slick sound of small fingers thrusting into something wet, and his ears stand pin straight as they turn to the door. 

He decides that the devil has tested him enough.

_____________________________________________________________

You’re leaning on the shut door of Alastor’s bedroom, sweat pooling in the thin threads of your clothing. Through the door, your head was clear enough to think; but that didn’t stop the incessant heat pooling between your thighs, attempting to suction all your attention toward one thing and one thing only.

Was this the type of pain Alastor has been in this whole time? You whimper, rubbing yourself depravedly against the rough carpet beneath you. 

There was nowhere to go. You were in no state to ask Charlie and the others for a room of your own, and you wouldn’t be able to tear yourself away from the scent of him if you tried. You mewl as you ground yourself in just the right spot - but the usual satisfaction didn’t come. Frustrated, you try grinding yourself harder into the carpet, ears alert for any noises you might catch from beyond his door. You hear the unzipping of his pants, and you cry, feeling almost betrayed at the sound of him. Shakily, you tuck your fingers beneath your skirt and plunge your fingers into your entrance, letting your fingers fill the gushing cavity.

You moan at the glimmer of relief, then immediately sigh in frustration as your fingers did absolutely nothing to quell the ache. 

The door rips open. 

“Alastor?” You blink wearily up at the disheveled demon, all seven feet of him glaring down at you. It doesn’t even register you to feel embarrassed at this point, with your hand still stuffed under your skirt in an obvious act of self-pleasuring. 

In a blink, the ground beneath you disappeared. Black smoke claws at your lungs and you squeal, finding yourself reappearing into existence on a plush crimson mattress. He materializes in front of you, breathing inconsistent and ragged, the radio static heavy in his voice. 

“Darling…” He encircles your wet thighs with his damp gloves, leaning over your so closely you could feel his sweat drip onto you. He leans his forehead on yours, the flush on both your faces matching in color. “I need-.”

You pull him down by his hair before he could speak, tiring of the whole waiting game. You didn’t want to hear a whole speech, all you wanted was to have him rail you so deeply into the bed you’d forget who was who. His lips crash onto yours, and you kiss him furiously, the heated passion arising from natural biological need stronger than anything you’ve ever felt with a human man.

He groans into your mouth, spreading your legs with his knees, and slots his cock desperately into your soaked pussy. This time, you don’t give him enough time to pull away before you hurriedly work at the zipper. The moment your hands wrap around his member, hotter than the rest of him even, he lets out the most depraved noise you’ve ever heard another make. To think that you would’ve heard such a thing from the radio demon seemed nearly incomprehensible just a few hours ago. 

He takes control again then, flipping you haphazardly into the four-legged position you had assumed earlier. There was no need to prepare anything - the both of you were leaking so much that you were sure he could slip in without any pain, despite his impressive size - but still he hesitates, pausing with his tip at your entrance. It twitches against your slick.

He must be thinking again, you realize. Thinking dangerous thoughts, that would take away your relief. You weren’t going to let him stop this time, especially knowing now how badly he needed it.

“Alastor if you don’t put it in right now-.” 

He growls, each rivet of the sound layered with radio static. Without another word, he thrusts his whole length in. Or at least you thought it was the whole thing. But when he doesn’t move, and you peek curiously at the junction between you two, you realize with fascinated horror that he was only halfway in. 

You keep your neck in that twisted position, wanting to watch his face while he waits for your walls to loosen enough to take the rest of him. Instead of looking away, like he’d done so while trying to hide his condition, he stares straight into your eyes with his piercing blackened gaze. Between his dark eyes, the slightly lowered grin, lengthened antlers and bloody drool slipping down his chin, he almost felt more animal than person. Especially given the complete silence, aside from his staticky heavy panting. Like he was incapable of speaking at the moment.

The enchanting stare-off between the two of you was interrupted by a sudden sharp thrust from him, causing your head to tilt back as you ground out another whimper. There’s a loud smack as his balls hit the base of your pussy. Something wet drips on your bare shoulder blades, where his claws had torn off the top of your shirt. It’s from his mouth, you realize. His hot breath condenses on the back of your neck, and without warning, you feel the entire top row of his teeth sinking into your skin followed closely by a guttural moan. You half scream, half moan at that, and you feel the lips on your neck curl into a grin.

He starts moving his hips; back and forth, back and forth. Little white specks dot your vision, which was blackened as your eyelids reflexively shut from the overwhelming pleasure. Your brain shuts off, the only things you could feel being the throbbing yet fulfilling sensation of his teeth digging into your neck, the warm rivulets of your own blood running down your sides, his claws shredding into your hips, and of course the maddening gratification of his cock repeatedly drilling into your hole.

This heat thing- no, he was turning you into a hedonist. You feel his teeth momentarily pull out of your skin to lick at the blood trickling from your wound, your heartbeat helping gush the red fluid out in erratic waves. There’s a gulp; he’s swallowing, drinking the blood out of your body as he never stops thrusting. 

He pulls his teeth out and suddenly flips you around, cock still thrusted deep into your womb. You get a good look of his face, his eyes half-lidded, pupils an endless reddish black void, smile dripping with a mix of his natural darkened bloody spit and the fresh, vibrant red of your blood. He leans in, pressing the salty iron on his lips to yours. You, in all your heat-dazed mind and curiosity, let him thrust his tongue into the cavern of your mouth, invading your tastebuds with something musky and bitter, mixed well with  a pulsing sweet irony taste. 

You’re tasting him on your tongue. Him and you, together. You must really be fucked dumb because that’s the thought that brings you over the edge, body stilling as a cry rips from your throat, choking on the blood that had started to clot in your throat. Your walls spasm wildly around his length, causing him to thrust faster.

He fucks into your limp body on the bed, a look of deep concentration on his face as he works to overcome a century of not having orgasmed. He cums without any warning, face frozen into the same smile he always wore. He doesn’t want you to see him come undone. 

Your breaths begin to steady as he clings onto your hips, spurting endless amounts of sperm into your body. It never seemed to end. Each time you thought he was done, his hips would convulse and you’d feel another bout of liquid fill your womb. You reach a shaky hand to pet the bulge that filled your lower abdomen, your innards being stretched uncomfortably full from the girth of his knot and endless cum. He glances at you then, almost sheepishly. Almost apologetically, like he’s doing something wrong. You caress his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

You speak up. “That was… not what I expected when I arranged this appointment.” 

He stares at you in what looks like amusement.

It’s only now, in the aftermath of your session, that you notice how much of your blood was coating your skin, forming a thin, sticky layer. Yet he showed no signs of stopping, the same deranged grin gracing his face as the one that was there when you first started speaking. 

“I apologize dear, but it seems that we are far from done.”

He digs his teeth into your abdomen now, savoring the taste of iron on his tongue. You hiss in pain, twisting your body on the sheets as though to avoid his assault. But he maintains a firm grip on your sides, and you give in, letting the pleasure of being under his control overtake the pain. He sinks his teeth deeper, and there’s a weird tingling sensation where he bites. You wiggle a bit, realizing that the tingle was coming from the strange sensation of his teeth hitting muscle. 

“N-not done…?” Your own heat felt like it was fading, returning you to your normal state of mind.

“I’m not sure how long this will last, given the amount of time I’ve been putting off the whole ordeal.” He pulls your thighs around him and situates you in his lap. You blush, feeling shy all of a sudden at his unexpected display of affection. “Once it deflates enough to pull you off…” He nibbles at your earlobe, threatening to bite into the soft flesh. “We’ll be here for quite a while darling.”

You hum contemplatively, resting your head on his sweating chest. A long time… you weren’t looking forward to explaining all the missed appointments to your patients.

And you certainly weren’t looking forward to facing Charlie and the others. 

_____________________________________________________________

Two weeks later, Alastor finally let you leave his room for the first time. 

You limp to the door, wondering how you were going to explain the fact that you spent two weeks straight fucking the cum out of your supposed patient. Well, he was still a patient. And you had treated him. Just with a more hands-on method than you originally thought. 

You had cleaned up to the best of your ability in Alastor’s bathroom, where he took you one last time over the sink. Luckily, your shirt covered any wounds he left on your upper body. Unfortunately, given how short your skirt was, there was no way you could hide the deep bite marks from your thighs to your ankles. 

“So… you found out that his ‘illness’ was contagious because you contracted it, then locked yourself in his room essentially to quarantine from the rest of us?” Angel asks speculatively. It was clear he doubted the words coming from your mouth.

“That’s the most kind, pure-hearted thing I’ve ever seen a sinner do!” Charlie on the other hand, instantly bought into your lie. She holds your hands excitedly, a million thoughts racing through her head at what she could do with this information.

“Then what about those marks on your legs? Looks like you got mauled by an animal.” Husk is quick to point out the evidence, but you laugh, covering it up with another excuse you thought up.

“Oh that’s from when I went exploring alone in the swamp. Alastor didn’t tell me there were dangerous animals in there. Now I’ve learned my lesson!”

“Riiiight then why didn’t either of ya respond when we came checkin’ up on you all those times? We were worried, ya know?”

Alastor enters the bar, a grin brightly plastered on his face and clothing as polished as ever. “We were busy!” 

He’s already decided that you wouldn’t be leaving his side after you saw him in such a vulnerable state. That, and the strange alteration the rut left on his hormones has led him to form an… unexpected connection to you. After a few back and forths, you excuse yourself, standing up from the bar stool and heading back upstairs with the excuse of forgetting something in Alastor’s room.

On the way up, you feel the burning of several suspicious stares, as well as a strangely possessive and loving one. Your phone dings.

It’s a message. From Angel.

Just admit ya’ll fucked up there

.

.

.

A/N:  I’m not a big fan of writing “he growled” buuuuut my other options according to Google are “he snarled, barked, yapped, bayed(?)” and I wasn’t about to fucking write about how he bayed at the sight of your pussy. Maybe I should’ve just gone all in on making him a little bitch and only wrote “he whimpered pathetically” but alas the fic is over

I’m NOT LYING I’ve been looking for this fic for forever I’m going insane

Like they meet on earth and reader signs a contract to have his baby (Charlie) and they eventually have it but reader dies during childbirth and goes to heaven

And then something something something reader BEHEADS ADAM LAST CHAPTER I READ 😭

I NEED to find it 💔

WHERE is that fic where Lucifer asks reader to have his kid and she dies and then she literally decapitates Adam omg I just remembered it and I wanna reread it 😭🤞 I lost it 💔

♱Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~Chapter Two♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Chapter Two Warnings: profanity How to find the other chapters in my pinned post

♱ In which the purest soul in Heaven falls from grace… for the Devil. ♱

[Chapter Two]

“[name]!”

You turned your head, before seeing Emily racing towards you to tackle you to the ground in a hug. You laughed, although it came out as more of a wheeze under her crushing grip, and hugged back. She raised her head, eyes watery. 

“Adam said you disappeared,” she said, and the barely restrained fury at him was evident in her voice, which dropped to an incredulous whisper. “Where were you? What happened? Sera’s mad as hell-“

“He didn’t leave me,” you managed to crack a reassuring smile, and Emily’s shoulders drooped at your next words, “I flew off.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he neglected his responsibility. And, frankly, ignored my direct orders to keep you safe.”

You raised your head to see Sera, her forehead creased in a stressed frown. “Come with me to my office.” She began to turn, then paused, eyebrows pulling right down, deepening her frown. “Is that blood on your clothes?”

You glanced down. The dark patches seemed to be covered with a thin gilded sheen. “I-it’s nothing, really,” you babbled, scrambling to wipe it off, only to see most of it had dried.

Sera didn’t seem convinced.

Emily pulled you up before you followed them hesitantly, the confusion on her face at the situation evident, even though she was smiling at you nervously.  You gulped. 

Charming. 

♱♱♱

“So, to be clear, you let [name] fly off and put herself in harm's way even though she has no experience as an exterminator?” Sera turned from Adam to you. “[name], this is only a one time thing. You are most certainly not accompanying the exterminators down to Hell next year. After Adam has proven how neglectful he is-“

“No,” you gasped, the words flying out your mouth without you even thinking about them.

 The entire room seemed to freeze.

Awkwardly, you cleared your throat and continued, more gently. “No, it wasn’t his fault. See, what happened was-“ you glanced over at where Adam was seated next to you. He raised an eyebrow, face flat, and you swallowed. Your throat felt like a desert. 

“I flew off,” you continued. “He went after me, I mean, he really tried I swear. But I shook him off and ended up tearing my wing on a branch, hence the blood- he found me a while later and healed me up. The wound wasn’t too serious. It only broke some skin, and- and, I could still fly. We just lost each other in the crowd going back up to the Pentagram is all.”

What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? You could almost feel the beads of sweat forming on your brow as you smiled at her stiffly. 

Sera turned and looked at Adam, waiting for his confirmation. He looked over at you, grinning wide. You pointedly stared back, which wasn’t necessary- he didn’t miss a beat. “Yup. That’s what happened. I was tryna tell ya the whole time and you guys just weren’t listening.”

“Please let me go next year, Sera,” you pleaded, eyes widening. She chewed her lip, contemplating, as you continued. “I was perfectly fine. And I may not be an experienced exterminator, but you know more than well enough I can hold my own against a couple of mere sinners.” You shot a look at Adam.

”Yeah, [name]’s powerful as fuck-“

“I wouldn’t say powerful-“ you began, but was cut off by Sera.

“You’re far too modest, [name],” Sera smiled at you tiredly. “And what you said seems to add up. I know you’d never lie to me-“ she side-eyed Adam, who didn’t notice, continuing to pick at his nails. “-Or to anyone, for that matter. Yes, you may go again next year if you wish.”

You looked at the ground. “Thank you, Sera,” you said, your own voice ringing small in your ears.

♱♱♱

“Jeez, sugartits, I didn’t think I’ve ever heard you lie before,” Adam smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You glared at him in fury, before jabbing a finger at his chest. You were both in a hallway, Sera’s office door at the end of the corridor where you had come from. 

“Watch it, Adam,” you hissed, then took a deep breath, calming yourself down. “I did it for you, so be grateful.”

“…thanks.”

You smiled at him. “No problem.” 

You both stared at each other for a few moments, before Adam spoke.

“Are we gonna fuck right now?”

“No!” You hissed, exasperated, feeling your face burn. “No, we are not. Here’s what is gonna happen, Adam. Next extermination, you’re gonna let me fly off by myself, mind your own business, and not tell Sera, and if you don’t do that, I’ll blab and tell them everything. And then they’ll hate you forever.”

He stared at you for a second, blankly. You gulped, your blood pounding in your ears. Crap. Dumb idea-

Adam finally raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want to go off sneaking around Hell during the extermination, sugartits? Got a secret?”

“Most certainly not,” you snapped. “I simply want to explore Hell alone.”

Adam stared at you for a moment. “You never say what’s on your fuckin’ mind, do ya, sugartits? You always gotta water it down to be nice. If I annoy the shit outta you, just say that.” 

Your gaze softened, then you shook your head and stared at your feet. “I’m not a mean person.”

“Not mean if it’s the truth.” He shrugged. You looked back up at him. He was wearing that familiar, shit-eating grin again. You huffed and rolled your eyes, kicking at the pristine floor. 

“Sure. Well, some people have a filter.” 

“Meh. Whatever.”

“So, will you do what I asked you to do?”

Yeah, I’ll do what you want.”

“Wait really?” You stared at him. 

“Yeah, I don’t give a fuck. Do what you want, you saved my ass from a three hour lecture back in there anyways.”

You watched him walk away until he rounded a corner and disappeared, shocked at his nonchalance, and then pressed your back to the wall and sank down, head in your hands. 

Did you seriously lie to the Seraphim just to be able to go back to Hell next year? Why? Why?

Was it because of- no way. Don’t be ridiculous. You knew Lucifer had the quality of being ‘tempting’, from what the Bible said, at least, but there was no way you were being led to temptation from a small interaction with absolutely no ‘tempting’ aspects to it. Whatsoever. 

Hell is a nice break from Heaven. And it’s interesting to see what it’s like. I’m just curious is all… 

You stared at your hands, mind flashing back to something Sera had said a while ago.

Curiosity killed the cat. 

“[name]?”

You looked up. Sera was staring down at you. “Are you alright?”

You cursed internally, your heart almost leaping out of your throat. “Yes, Sera, I’m just… thinking.”

“Perhaps I could help?”

You studied her face. It was wearing the specific, reserved look she wore for when she was suspicious but didn’t want to show it. You smiled and shook your head. 

“I’m just trying to figure out what I ate this morning that could make my stomach hurt this much.”

Sera’s face relaxed, nodding. You knew that she wouldn’t believe that you’d lie to her. You knew it would be easy to squash her suspicions. 

“Well,” Sera said, “Let me know if you need anything.”

You nodded smiled weakly again, watching her steady, deliberate steps as she disappeared around the corner, then hung your head again, sighing.

You prayed you weren’t digging yourself into a hole.

♱♱♱

A/N: Stay Tuned!

Taglist: @boredlime, @ica1, @tremendoushearttaco, @sweetadonisbutbetter, @lucky-flowey,@kitty-kei, @thornwolfy235, @w31rd3rg1rl, @marxo5, @lvstyangel

WHERE is that fic where Lucifer asks reader to have his kid and she dies and then she literally decapitates Adam omg I just remembered it and I wanna reread it 😭🤞 I lost it 💔

❤️the love of my life

A Hawks appreciation post 💖💖💖

Megan please give me a chance

Megan’s Instagram Update (July 12, 2024)

[𝟐] 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 | angel 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 × female human 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: marriage of convenience; forced proximity; angst; domestic; crackfic; possessive Adam; he falls first and harder; misogyny; Adam being Adam; explicit language; religious imagery & symbolism; sexual tension; eventual smut; happy ending; not canon compliant.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5,3k.

// holy necrogamy

𝐌uted purples and satiny gold dominate your current surroundings, giving them the dreamy, ethereal appearance of an evening sky. You blend right in as your face's colouration slowly reaches a similar hue to the wallpapered walls, a few shades darker than the plum carpeting you are clawing at. If you thought that it was difficult to breathe in Hell, then you are literally suffocating up here in Heaven. 

"I’m dying and you are just standing there." You wheeze out, rolling your eyes upward to stare through your eyelashes at your fiancé, who is leaning against a wall a few feet away. You can feel your chest expanding and contracting, creating the illusion of breathing, but no air ever fills your lungs, leaving you gasping like a fish out of water — which, in a way, you are. "Soon.. you will have no bride to marry."

"I told you that you won’t suffocate. It just feels like you are." Repeating himself pulls a disgruntled sigh out of Adam, but the thing is, you heard him the first time. It's just that his words don't bring any comfort.

"I hope.. I die.. go.. to Hell.. for mingling.. with.. the occult.. and.. reunite with.. the man.. that I.. actually.. love.." With your words coming in short gasps, you finally manage to voice out your sentence before lowering your forehead until it brushes against the coarse fibres covering the floor. You hope he will realise that you are not worth the trouble and send you back to Earth. You could start over, summon Lucifer through a chalky pentagram on the floor and talk it out with the devil in the comfort of your own living room this time. Just like normal people do.

However, your persistence only fascinates the man more.

"Don't be dramatic." Adam scoffs, reacting as if you are foolish for feeling and acting this way, but when you don't acknowledge him and refuse to get up from the ground, he has no choice but to take matters into his own hands. You feel his arm wrap itself around your middle, tugging you up and holding you close to him so you won't slump like a rag doll next to his feet. "If you had listened to me with those God-given organs on each side of your head and entered that room," he takes a step towards the door of said room and your legs swing like the controlled motions of a pendulum on a grandfather clock. "You could breathe just fine, but I doubt that would improve your cognitive abilities. God clearly prioritised beauty over brains with you."

The door slides open as though your arrival is highly anticipated to which Adam responds by stepping towards the darkness without a second thought. He knew where he was going while you, on the other hand, did not.

You writhe in protest and apprehension at having to face the unknown first, but ultimately your pitiful attempt at stopping him is useless.

Once the two of you are inside, the cloaking darkness swallows up everything around you, preventing you from getting familiar with your new surroundings and alienating you even more. At least he didn't lie about the air being more breathable.

Adam lowers you down onto your feet and with his touch no longer there, you feel like a tiny boat at night — lost in the middle of an unpredictable sea that hides its dangers in the dark while a big and scary monster lurks right behind you.

But perhaps sometimes it is better to not see.

A creature sits in front of you behind a dark wood table, illuminated only by an iridescent halo above his head. He appears to be human, with a handsome and familiar face, but you know he is not — this is Heaven after all. The unnaturally long upper part of the being's body peaks from behind the aforementioned furniture, so straight that it looks eerily unsettling. When he stands up, he appears to be even taller than the hulking presence behind you and when he gracefully glides through the room, his disciplined movements remind you of a statue that is being pushed on a drum dolly. 

Alarmed, you gasp, unintentionally bumping into Adam as you take an involuntary step back, but the creature doesn't seem to notice you.

However, he acknowledges the angel behind you.

"Adam, the first human." The being speaks with a flat yet modulated voice, although you are more taken aback by the information it presents than how it is delivered. "You were the last soul I expected to have in my presence."

"Well, Danny, for a marriage-related matter, it was only wise of me to visit the angel of marriage first! Isn't that right, babe?" Adam pinches your cheek and you silently glare in that direction, praying that you could burn his leathery claw off. When your prayers fall on deaf ears and you shift your focus to who you now know is Archangel Daniel, you find his empty, unblinking eyes already staring down at you, further solidifying his likeness as a statue in your mind. For an angel of love and marriage, he looks very cold and clinical.

Your breathing quickens as you hold eye contact with the archangel while he stares straight into your soul, then switches his focus above your head. His face doesn’t betray any of his emotions or thoughts, but you are certain that he is at least curious about the fact that you happen to look very alive.

"Do others know you want to marry a mortal?"

And that's when your face lights up with hope. An archangel — a messenger of God himself — has to put a stop to this and save you. Adam might be an angel, but ultimately, he is a human soul. Archangel Daniel is a divine entity who should protect not only the sanctity of marriage but also the people involved. You are not a willing participant; he should be able to tell that just by simply looking at your terrified face — so sickly pale that you might be on the verge of passing out or dying altogether.

"They don’t, but will. Promise."

Just like that, the archangel shatters your hopes for rescue by unostentatiously nodding at Adam. He doesn't even spare you another glance, as if the previous ones were already too much, before turning away to prepare for the marriage ceremony. If you could even call it that.

You attempt to swallow down the lump in your throat, but your mouth is dry. Why did this holy being, who was supposedly created with the sole purpose of protecting humans from evil, assisting the perpetrator? Why did you get more compassion from sinners in Hell than from angels in Heaven? Hell wasn't as scary as it looked, but Heaven is terrifying. Here, you have no one in your corner.

"Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get you dressed." Adam's loud voice snaps you out of your thoughts, cutting your pity party short.

You are dressed, even if the dress you put on this morning is now dotted with burn holes. The charred article of clothing is still yours. You made it! You chose the colour of the fabric that matched your eyes and suited your skin tone the best. You cut the skirt to the perfect length and sewed the pieces together until the pads of your fingertips were numb and bloody. It was made specifically for your first official date with Marcel and you wore it today, hoping that he would wake up from his coma and see you in it. You plan to wear this dress when you get Marcel back to the living world — you will mend the holes and wear it many more times.

But before you can speak your mind, in a literal snap of a finger, you are wrapped in what you can only describe as an embodiment of pristine purity — a toga-style dress as awe-inspiring as the first snow. Long pieces of silk wrap around your body like vines, hiding your skin in a false illusion of modesty. The tight fit makes your bust and curves more pronounced, and— did he make your underwear disappear?!

Embarrassment-red paints your cheeks, while the golden curve of his mouth spells out mischief. You cross your legs together, covering yourself protectively with your hands, but it does nothing to sway his unapologetic focus away from your body. Substituting hands for eyes, he traces every curve with keenness, but before you can make a remark, Archangel Daniel returns, signalling the start of the ceremony.

You tune out most of what is being said, trying to distance yourself from the situation as a whole — it wasn’t like you were needed as an active participant either way. No vows are exchanged, and no I do's are said — only a recitation of an ancient speech spoken by the archangel. A ritual that binds your souls into one.

You snap back to reality when you feel a soft touch grab your left hand. 

"What are you doing?" You jump a bit, pulling your hand away in the process. Adam's touch is unwelcome at the moment. You wish to spend these last moments alone with yourself.

"Where else do you want me to put your ring?"

Inside your ass, preferably. "Where I’m from, women wear it on the right."

As if having a mind of its own, your right hand throbs painfully, reminding you of its unfavourable condition, but you quickly silence it by pressing the burning palm into the lower part of the wedding dress.

"What’s so special about that hand?"

"The same question goes both ways."

"Ever heard of the 'vein of love'?"

You audibly scoff at that. What is the point of the gesture when there is no love involved? He doesn't need to make this poor excuse for a matrimonial union more of a spectacle than it already is.

"That a vein from the ring finger runs directly to the heart? Science proved that that’s nonsense—"

"Give me your fucking hand."

And you do, simply because your right hand is in no condition to wear anything.

You feel the cold metal slide down your skin, and even though the band fits perfectly and quickly warms up with the help of your body heat, the delicate piece of jewellery feels heavy on your ring finger. You can't make yourself look down.

"In the eyes of God, you are now husband and wife."

Everything is going too fast, you scream inside your head while sinking your teeth into your bottom lip to prevent yourself from saying that out loud. But when you think the worst part is over, you feel Adam's cold fingers lift your quivering chin up, and his thumb pulls the delicate flesh away from the sharp incisors.

It’s fine, just close your eyes and imagine Marcel.

Adam takes a step closer and your eyes intently follow his every move, looking away only when you feel something tug on your wedding dress. Your now husband's long fingers are playing with a longer piece of fabric, caressing the silk with care while looking like a predator toying with his meal.

He raises his hand with the piece still in his grasp and your intense gaze moves with it. You stay silent until he brings it in front of your face and is about to tie it around your eyes.

"Hey, whoa, what do you think you are doing?" You put your hand in between your face and the would-be blindfold, your wedding ring catching the light from Adam's halo and glimmering like a star in his face.

"Do you need step-by-step narration of my every move? I’m tying your eyes."

"No, you are not."

"Don’t be difficult."

Your eyebrows arch in bewildered astonishment. "I think I’ve been pretty compliant so far. And who even kisses with their eyes open?"

"I don’t trust you to keep them shut."

"And you married me? Make up your mind." You scoff while Adam sways your hand away and goes in to tie the piece. Somehow, the deep blackness disrupting your vision only makes you lippier. "Thanks, now I can imagine that I’m kissing Marcel— OW!" Adam tightens the blindfold with a bit more force before you can even finish your sentence, painfully tugging on your hair after a few errant strands got caught in the knot.

"Did you say something?"

You scrunch your nose and frown, but remain quiet.

The toga dress and blindfold combination probably make you look like the statue of Lady Justice — the only thing missing are the freaking scales. Pitty, those would be immensely useful for thwacking the angel in the head.

Silence befalls you when Adam steps back, and you are left to anxiously await his next move.

But nothing happens.

Your ears become hungry to hear something, anything. There is a soft, muffled sound akin to the rustling of clothing, as though Adam is walking away from you and your fingers twitch to extend your hand to grab him before he is gone. At the last minute, you stop yourself. Did you read the room wrong? Was Adam about to sacrifice you to some hungry, biblical entity instead of solidifying your union with a kiss?

Somewhere in front of you, you hear it — a faint click, followed by a heavy clank near your feet. You twist and lower your head in the direction of the sound as if you could see anything, until you feel what has now become a familiar touch — frigid and leathery. Gently, Adam takes hold of your chin and tilts your head upwards. A gust of breath fans your lips as they part with a faint gasp. Is he—

Warm, plump lips cautiously brush against your own, causing your heart to plummet into your stomach and your voice box to produce a low moan, which gets eagerly swallowed up by the other soul. Both of your lips move in tandem; the action itself is sensual, not sexual, but it goes on for way too long to be considered a conventional wedding kiss.

Your partner's hand sits nicely on your waist, fingers holding onto you as if you would disappear otherwise. This couldn't be Adam kissing you. It's unfathomable that the smug bastard you had the misfortune of getting to know in such a short time could show such care for another soul. And if you remember correctly, his demonic face didn’t have any lips to begin with.

Being deprived of one of your senses with the help of a blindfold, you resort to using what you do have. Your hand lifts to caress his cheek and brush against the soft skin, familiarising itself with something foreign to you. You try to sculpt the man’s face in your mind, wondering what colour his eyes are, the hue of his skin, and the placement of his beauty marks — that is, if he has any. Your thumb glides across the supple flesh as if through wet clay — as if he is malleable.

Your inquisitive touch elicits a grunt from the man and by the sound alone, you can instantly tell that it's indeed Adam who is kissing you. A very human Adam.

But as Adam's fingers travel downwards towards your supple hips, he quickly pulls away as if you bit him. Your lips detach with a wet pop and while you gasp for air, Adam opens his eyes to look at his hand, which is now saturated with blood.

Satin threads of your wedding dress voraciously drink the blood out of your palm, mimicking veins by quickly spreading the crimson fluid throughout the right side of the garment. This wasn’t angelic ichor. This was metallic, vital, impure blood. The kind that a sinner bleeds after being touched by the exorcist's blade — a reminder of your mortality and of the original sin of which you were not cured because you were still alive.

Adam was already causing trouble for the elders of Heaven. That was nothing new. But now, as he looks at his blood-covered hands, Adam realises how dangerously he is toeing the line by inviting something so impure into such a holy space. And worst of all, you didn't even want to be here. 

He looks at you — a white sacrificial lamb, tied with satin and ready for sacrifice. But instead of being gifted to God as a sign of love and devotion, you sacrificed yourself for a sinner in Hell, and Adam, even as he grappled with himself in his moment of clarity, still craved such love for himself. He is fucking Adam! He was entitled to love and when he wasn’t given that, he had the right to take it. He is the first fucking man!

But this meant that Adam was no better than Lucifer — no, he was even worse — he blackmailed you to be with him.

"Um.. Adam?"

Your voice is small, but it brings Adam's attention back to you all the same. Lips, red and glossy, are parted just a tiny bit as you take hungry breaths to sate your human lungs. What was he doing?

Adam quickly scrambles to put his mask back on before clearing his throat. "Why didn’t you say anything about your hand?"

You perk up at the sound of his voice and finally tug the blindfold away from your eyes, only to see yourself reflected in the dark, glossy finish of what you now know is a mask. For a moment, you allowed yourself to forget how you got into this situation and for what or whom. All you could think about was how maybe, just maybe, being Adam’s wife wouldn’t be so bad until you figured everything out. 

"There wasn’t a good time to bring it up."

He chuckles sardonically, "You had time to argue about which hand the ring should go on. The wound is literally dripping. The side of the dress is covered in blood."

A wedding is supposed to be a joyous event in a woman’s life, but the blood only serves to remind everyone that this union was anything but. It was kind of poetic, in a way.

"Sorry."

"No, it’s— I will take care of it when we get home."

His words don't bring you comfort. This wasn’t your home. Your home was on Earth, but for now, you could be content with at least staying in your current location. You wanted to stay here in the dimness, where it was bearable to endure your new life and where your new husband didn’t seem so bad. You liked to think this was a dream, you didn’t want the reality to set in fully. And maybe that's why you wanted to kiss Adam again — to lose yourself in the feeling for a few more seconds so that you wouldn't think of everything else. 

"How will I be able to live here?"

"Don’t worry your little head about that, hot stuff. You've been doing that more than enough. Let me deal with the boring bureaucracy while you play a good little wife for me at home. How does that sound, hm?”

Like a life sentence.

Adam doesn't wait for an answer. He snaps his fingers, producing golden sparks that turn into a big whirl of light in the same colour.

"After you."

Begrudgingly, you walk towards it. It takes you a few steps to reach the portal, but when you step through it, you get instantly teleported to Adam's intended destination — a spacious and tidy apartment. Too tidy. No one lives here type of tidy.

Yet, somehow, it still feels queerly homely. Maybe it's thanks to the pastel evening skies — spiling through the floor-to-ceiling windows into the open-floor apartment like watercolour on paper. Or perhaps it has something to do with Adam's scent permeating the whole space.

The portal closes behind you and only after taking a deep breath do you build enough courage to finally turn around and face Adam. The setting you are now in is more intimate and it's just the two of you here. 

When you turn around, his glowing eyes are already on you. Adam's gaze momentarily flickers towards your lips and you can feel your face grow hot.

But before either of you can move, a knock echoes throughout the room.

"Fuck, what is it now?" Adam whines but goes to see who it is anyway. "What, Lute?"

By moving your head a bit to the side, you can see more clearly who's at the door. Feet spread apart and arms behind her back, Lute, as Adam addressed the female angel, stands proud even if her uniform is marred with red blood, matching you in a way. You recognise her as one of the many similar-looking angels that were in Hell at the time of your descent. The last time you saw her, she had a mask on.

"Sir, the Seraphim wishes to see you. Immediately." Her voice is unwavering and without her mask on, the white-skinned angel's face seems to be stuck in a perpetual frown. You catch her eye from way across and it's obvious she's not a fan of you. You don't blame her.

"Fuck. Yeah, okay." Adam turns to you. "So, I gotta go for a bit. You know, duty calls. Your husband is a busy guy, but, um, don’t be afraid to explore. See you in a bit, hourglass."

The door shuts behind him, leaving you all alone with someone you didn't want to be isolated with — yourself.

Now, in the dead silence, your inner thoughts are the loudest — eating you alive alongside the corrosive feeling of guilt. Every single one of your choices, made throughout this one miserable day, is being scrutinised and the verdict is unanimous. It was all your fault and you had no one to blame but yourself.

You were so selfish with your actions that you didn’t stop to think of your loved ones, managing even to put an already dead Marcel in danger. You don’t even have any way to know if your sacrifice paid off. What if Adam is finishing the job right now? You would be none the wiser. And Seth, he was probably blaming himself for not trying harder to persuade you to let him take you home.

You slide down to the ground — virgin white pooling around you like bloody sea foam — and give yourself a hug. God knows how much you need one right now. You never felt as alone as you did at the moment.

Calling your mom would be nice. She always knew how to help. But you will probably soon meet her here because she wouldn’t survive your disappearance, your cruel mind supplies.

Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and run your fingers through your hair, imagining that it's your mother's soft touch instead. You can almost imagine yourself back at your childhood home, playing in the big garden barefoot and without a care. When you were little, you were always very inquisitive, wanting to know how everything came to be. And while your grandmother would shut you up by simply saying that God created everything, your mother spun all sorts of otherworldly tales that made your big eyes sparkle with wonder.

"Why is it called that, mommy? The trembling aspen? " You asked one day.

In hindsight, the answer is simple: because of its leaves, which tremble in the lightest breeze. However, you remember your mother smiling at you and whispering the tale as if it were the biggest secret.

"There once lived an old farmer whose three daughters went to bathe in the sea one day. When the youngest returned to the shore to get dressed, she found a serpent in her clothes. Speaking in a man's voice, the serpent demanded that she promise to become his wife in exchange for her clothes being returned. Faced with an immediate need to get dressed and not thinking about possible future consequences, the girl agreed ."

Now that you recall the whole story from the very beginning, it sounds a bit too familiar. Funny how Adam, a man who was once tricked by a serpent himself, acted the same as the reptile in the story your mother has told you. If only he knew that he wasn't superior to the creature he harbours the deepest hatred for.

"A few days later, a brood of serpents showed up at the girl's house to claim the promised bride. The girl's family tried to trick them, but they were unsuccessful. The serpents took her to the seashore, where the serpent king she promised to marry was now a handsome young man who took her to his palace under the sea."

You pause the memory to reminisce about your own wedding and how, like the serpent king, Adam wasn’t some sort of creature but a human soul underneath a mask. How warm his skin was compared to Heaven’s thinner atmosphere and his abrasive tongue, or how his stubble tickled your chin.

"Years passed and the couple had three sons and a daughter. One day, the girl became homesick and asked her husband to let her and the kids visit her childhood home. At first, the serpent was against it, but in the end, let them go. The girl's family was overjoyed to see her and didn't want her to leave, so her brothers decided to kill the serpent. They demanded that the children reveal how to lure their father out of the sea and while the sons refused to betray their father, the youngest daughter became frightened and revealed the secret. The brothers rushed to the seashore, called for the serpent and once he revealed himself, slaughtered him. In her grief, the girl transformed her brave sons into strong trees — oak, ash and birch — while she turned her cowardly daughter into a trembling aspen, cursed to shiver day and night from the slightest breeze. And then she turned herself into a spruce."

You lay your head on the floor, chilling your burning cheek against the cold ground as you gaze ahead, mulling over the story. It would be nice if you could turn yourself into a spruce, then maybe Adam could make new floorboards out of you if he liked to walk out on you that much.

Why you even cared, you couldn’t say. You guess it was loneliness speaking, and although this whole arrangement wasn’t born out of love, you deep down hoped that you could somehow make the best of your predicament.

But then he left you all alone, which quickly shattered your naive hopefulness. 

You have no idea how long you stayed in that position before finally finding the energy to peel yourself away from the floor and sit up straight. The next step is to stand up, but before tackling that daunting task, you really need to do something about your god-forsaken hand.

Doubtful that an immortal being would have a first-aid kit lying around in his home, you rip a lengthy piece of cloth from your dress and wrap it tightly around your palm. When that's taken care of, you rise to your feet and venture further into the house.

If Adam really is the first man, you understand the choice to have an open floor plan for the apartment. Seamlessly merging the living room and kitchen areas makes it more spacious and easier to breathe in. Spending the majority of one's life in the vastness that is the Garden of Eden and then having to make do with living surrounded by walls must be a difficult thing to adapt to.

The kitchen looks more like a showroom — all that’s missing are price tags and descriptions. The cabinets are empty, as is the fridge, and the small dining table has a thin coat of dust on it.

On the other hand, the living room area at least stays true to its name. It looks lived-in — the coach has a few throw pillows and a blanket on it, and there is clutter on the coffee table, as well as a few pieces of trash. Then something draws your attention.

You pass by a bunch of potted plants that you can't imagine him taking care of, and you stop in front of a television stand, its bottom shelf filled with vertically stored jewel cases. Where the spines are usually in a variety of different colours, these ones are all clear, and after further snooping, as you drag one out of its place, you understand why — they are all made by Adam and not purchased. Amidst the real, living-world bands that you recognise, there are also CDs with his own music.

Popping a random CD into a player that sits only a shelf above the cases, you press play and listen. Even though this one in particular had no vocals, you couldn't deny that Adam knew his way around the guitar. He does have long fingers that are able to reach certain cords.

You shake your head, trying to snap out of it, and when you quickly stand up after turning off the player, you spot something that would be a huge help in forgetting — a fully stocked wine display lodged into the wall near the TV.

Your bare feet scurry across the floor faster than your brain can think. However, you hesitate before actually reaching for a bottle. Adam did say it was your home, too, but somehow it feels like stealing. Then again, you are celebrating your wedding, so why not?

Without a struggle, the smooth redwood rack departs with the bottle of your choosing. It feels heavy in your hands as you turn it to look at the label. Brushing away any dust, you break off the seal and twist the cork to work it from the neck of the wine bottle until it comes out with a deafening pop.

"That’s not enough to scare me. If you only knew what kind of day I had today.” Your lament is directed at the bottle as you take a swig of what’s inside. The wine burns your throat, leaving an acidic aftertaste behind. You lick the tartness from your lips and go for another gulp. And then another one.

And one more.

Clutching the half-drunk bottle to your chest, you grab another one from the rack and resume your trip around the place. The wine kicks in relatively soon on an empty stomach, making you bump into the furniture in a matter of minutes.

Even if there is more than plenty of room for your own stuff in the apartment, all of your personal items, trinkets with tied-in memories, and hobby supplies are not here with you but somewhere far away. You have nothing to put there to make you feel like you are at home. You are an outsider, and as you recall the way Lute was glaring, you are not the only one who feels that way.

After you open the second bottle, you are no longer interested in getting familiar with the place. You exit the open area and move towards the dark corridor, where you stumble through the first door on the right into a bedroom.

You take the last sip and place the empty bottle near the door before walking towards the bed. The clock on the bedside table reads half past eleven, and the sky outside has only now started to darken. Everything is now spinning, but at least your head feels as light as a feather. You can’t be bothered to think about anything. 

Good.

You lie on the soft comforter and roll further onto the bed, burying your face in the pillows. The clean and fresh smell envelops you, and you let out a yawn. 

You will do your best to make the most of this situation, starting tomorrow.

red wine supernova photoshoot, chappell roan. 6/18/2023

Chappell as Lady Liberty at Gov Ball 2024, via Rolling Stone