You Husk Simpers Gotta Be The Most DIRTY NASTY FREAKS On The Whole Planet. Y’all Motherfuckers Be Getting

What the FUCK is happening in the mouthwashing tags

Im scrolling in literal fear.

I just wanna see cute fanart but I might have to block out the whole tag 💔

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I'm about to bust

Knight has to go in a trip, makes sure his beautiful lover is nice and satisfied before he leaves 🥰

BABE i was literally thinking of something spicy so i decided to merge it with this ask sksksk

CW: SMUT, different sex positions, breeding kink, marking

"Have you heard of the new book the king ordered?"

"No. Pray tell, what is it? Is it another bodice-ripper for the queen?"

The women around the table giggle in delight. You merely shake your head, continuing to peel potatoes.

"No, no, much more interesting. I heard it comes all the way from India." The women 'oo' and 'ah', sharing glances. "The wordsmith read it himself before the king paid. He said it was very interesting."

"Oh, please! Tell us! My heart can't take it."

"Alright, alright." She leans in to the group, the other women mimicking her action. "The wordsmith said that the book is about... sex." They explode with giggles as the first woman shushes them. "It is about pleasure for men and women, positions to try, how to make love—"

"Oh please, say no more, I feel as though a river is flowing from me!"

The women laugh as you finish peeling your last potato, taking the basket with you to the boiling water you started earlier. You ponder what the details of the book could say, but you have dinner to make.

There's a soft knock on your door that night. You know who it is before you answer.

"There is something I must tell you," he says as he begins unraveling your bodice.

"Go on."

He takes a breath, pulling down your underdress to kiss at your shoulder.

"I shall be leaving." You blink, your heart steadily sinking.

"For good?"

"No, no no, my sweet. I would never leave this castle permanently without you." Another kiss to your shoulder. "But I shall be gone for at least three nights."

You hum, pulling the garment over your head and tossing it to the floor, leaving you bare.

"Well, at least it is not a fortnight."

"It might as well be a fortnight," he groans, wrapping his arms around you to palm at your breasts. "I hate the thought of being from you so long."

"Tis only a few days, Adam."

"A few hours away from you is already torture, my lady." You roll your eyes, turning around to face him. He is already straining against his trousers. His eyes glaze over you, tongue licking his lip before he hurriedly reaches into his pocket. "If I may suggest something—"

"Suggest something?"

"Please, just listen." He pulls out a folded paper. "The king has come into possession of a book, and—"

"From India?" you inquire.

"Yes—how did you know?"

"The ladies were spreading rumors of it. I did not know they were true."

"They are," he breathes, unfolding the paper. "I was able to see it for myself and—"

"Oh, please do not tell me you stole a page?"

"Of course not, my lady. I would never do such a thing. But," he turns the page towards you, "I did try to recreate the drawings."

You take the paper, staring at the drawings he made.

"They are not art, I know, but I wanted to remember the different positions... so I could try them... with you."

You blink, looking up at him.

"You wanted to try these with me?" you ask. He nods, a bit enthusiastically. You look back at the drawings. They are crudely made, mere lines for limbs, circles for heads. He has given you circles for breasts, and he drew his member quite large. You stiffle a giggle.

"If you do not want to, I understand, I—"

"Adam," you look at him, taking his hand. "It's alright. I would like to do this with you."

His eyes light up. His cock visibly bounces.

"I-I am not so sure about this position."

"Why not, my sweet? You look ravishing from here."

You are straddling his waist, his manhood poking your ass, hands resting on his chest while he strokes your hips.

"I... I do not think I look good from there."

"My lady, you look like an angel sent from the heavens to bless me this evening."

"I feel like a boar—"

He shushes you, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing you tenderly.

"I hate when you speak that way. You are starlight in my hands." He kisses each fingertip before pressing his lips to your palm breathing in slow. "You are my everything. I hate when you insult yourself."

"I... I apologize. I will not speak in such a way again."

"Good. Now," he grinds his hip against yours, making you sway, "shall we continue the evening?"

"Yes," you breathe, lifting your hips. You grab his member, lining it with your entrance, biting your lip when the head slips in with ease. You lower yourself slowly, sucking in a breath, mouth falling open when your hips finally meet.

"I've never felt so full," you sigh, rolling your hips with a whine. His hand finds your hip, gripping tight, keeping you still.

"Please, don't. Not yet."

"Is... Are you alright?"

He glances at you, sighing and squeezing his eyes tight.

"No. I am not." He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "I feel as though I may fall apart any moment."

"Oh..." You glance over his face. "Is... Does it feel good?"

"Very much so."

"Why is it so hard to contain yourself?"

He scoffs, opening his eyes to smirk at you.

"Are you joshing me?" You shake your head and he scoffs again. "The love of my life is sitting upon my cock like it's a throne. How am I supposed to feel?"

You blink.

"I'm the love of your life?" you ask. He nods.

"Yes. This life, and all that follows after."

Your cunt clenches, causing him to groan, rolling his head back into your pillow.

"You torture me, my love."

"I do not mean to."

He takes a deep breath, letting it out slow.

"Alright. You may move, if you wish."

You are unfamiliar with this position, but Adam described it as riding a horse. You lift your hips, bringing them back down, gasping when his member presses deep into you. You do it again, sighing every time your hips meet.

"Faster, my love, please."

You brace your hands on his chest, steadying your legs before bouncing yourself faster, trying your hardest not to let out your moans. He does not seem to care about his volume, moaning low, eyes hooded as they gaze at you.

"You bounce so prettily for me, my princess." The nickname has you clenching hard, making his eyes roll back. "Lord in heaven, thank you for bringing this goddess to me."

Your legs are cramping, as if you have stood on them for days and nights. You whine, slowing to a halt. He furrows his brow.

"What is wrong, my sweet?"

"I-I'm sorry, Adam. My... my legs, they... oh, they hurt so."

"Oh, my sweet thing," he coos propping himself on his elbows. "Was it too much for you? Are you hurt?"

"No, no, I am merely exhausted." You sigh, hanging your head. "I feel as if I could not walk if I tried."

"Well, if you cannot walk anywhere, I shall simply carry you."

You shake your head.

"This is not the time for teasing—"

He suddenly sits up, almost throwing you off of him. He catches you, bringing your chest to his, nose to nose.

"Shall we try this position instead?"

You breathe shakily, cupping his face in your hands. You grunt as you reposition your legs to wrap around him instead.

"Better?"

"Better." You squirm in his hold, gasping. "Sir... you are so deep."

"I know." His lips ghost against yours. "This is where I belong, don't you think?"

He helps you grind your hips into his, the two of you breathing hard into each others' faces. There is a place deep inside that he has never touched before, but he is touching it now, kissing that spot with every jolt of your hips. You have to swallow your squeals.

"Kiss me, my love."

And you do. You kiss him so fervently that the heat between you is incinerating. Your tongues dance wildly, breathy moans swallowed by the other. Your nails scratch along his shoulders and he groans, pulling away.

"Yes, mark me, my love. I want the world to know I am yours."

You claw at him like a rabid animal, your cunt twitching with each growl he releases. He squeezes your ass, digging his blunt fingertips into your ample flesh.

Before you realize it, you are being lifted.

"A-Adam!" you whisper harshly, grappling onto him. "I-I will fall!"

"I will not let you, my lady."

He rests your upper back against the cot, but he keeps an arm wrapped around your hips, keeping them in the air. When he readjusts, he is holding your hips up by your ass with both hands.

He pulls back and thrusts forward. Hard.

His pace is brutal, deadly, you fear you will shatter if he continues fucking you so. Your hands scramble from his forearms to your breasts to the sheets. You can feel the coil inside you tightening far too quickly.

"I shall show them all that you are mine," he growls, giving a few slow strokes before speeding up again. "I shall let them know that you are spoken for by planting my seed and watching you grow with my child. Then no one can take you from me."

"A-Adam!" you whisper, feeling tears prick on your eyes.

"Does that burn you, my princess? Thinking about carrying my child and finally being mine?" His grip becomes tighter and, somehow, he goes faster. "I shall give you the fine things you deserve. I shall get you a farm, and a horse, all the jewelry and dresses you could ever want. Give me a child and I shall give you the world."

Your hand flies to your cunt, fingers working your clit swiftly, but he stops you, replacing them with his thumb.

"Only I may unravel you, my sweet."

And unravel you do. You fall apart around him, your hand clamped over your mouth to silence you, your cunt fluttering with desire. It must feel delightful, for only a few thrusts later, he stills and you feel a slurry of warmth inside you.

You are panting, limp, wet. You kneed at his forearms and he lowers you to the bed, staying inside you. He kisses over your temple, your cheek, down to your neck.

"Did you mean what you said?" you ask a few moments later.

"Which part?" he asks.

"The part about making me yours." He smiles into your collarbone, nibbling the flesh there.

"I mean every word I say to you."

You can't remember falling asleep. You vaguely remember being twisted into other positions later in the night, but the exact memory escapes you.

You rise before the sun. He is not beside you when you wake up.

You feel empty in more ways than one.

Are all men so bitchy or is it just the people I’m affiliated with-

Stepdad! Alastor will ALWAYS have my heart

Please. Alastor x single mom?

Oh my god and imagine how he’d give her the best Mother’s Day ever after years of just her waking up to a normal day aside from her baby giving her a macaroni necklace or a card and now she’s waking up to a breakfast in bed and a day to relax I’m not getting emotional you are

Okay, but y'all are giving me baby fever fr with these asks

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: F L U F F, A little bit of sex towards the end but a very small amount

Description: ☝️⬆️

Whether or not you were a mother when you were alive, you certainly were one now. You took in and protected as many children sinners you could because nobody else would

You took care of toddlers all the way up to teenagers, it was an exhausting and thankless job but you don't think you could ever quit

Not when one of your kids comes crying to you because they scraped their knee, or they had their first heartbreak, or they had a nightmare

How any of them ended up down here was baffling to you, especially the youngest ones

You protected your family fiercely and have even gone toe to toe with overlords to keep your kids safe, earning you a reputation for being a mama bear

You loved being their mother and wouldn't give it up for anything, no matter your own sins

So when one of your little ones goes missing, you're panicking and searching everywhere for her. You spend all day trying to find her and asking anybody if they've seen her

After hours of searching, one of your teenagers calls you, telling you they found her but that you need to come home immediately. You don't need to hear anything more

When you get home, you find your little girl sitting in the lap of Charlie Morningstar, Hell's Princess. All your kids are gathered around her while she tells them about her hotel

Something you had been trying not to let them know about because you didn't want to get their hopes up only to be heartbroken. It was cruel

Not to mention the shady characters that probably stay there.

So imagine your irritation when all your children suddenly swarm you and start begging to stay at the hotel. Each one excited and hopeful to learn how to go to heaven

You can't tell them no so you try to dissuade them but they insist on going so you allow it. It's very reluctant agreement though.

You try to keep all your children close to you once you enter the hotel and see the others. Let's see, an angelic exorcist, a p0rnstar, a tiny murderous maid, a drunk bartender and one of the most deadly overlords around

You were unimpressed, and it showed as you held your kids a little tighter, not even hearing Charlie excitedly telling you about all the amenities

You have a difficult time letting your kids sleep so far away from you, all of them excited to get their own rooms. You often check on them throughout the night

More than once, Alastor has caught you peeking into their bedrooms to make sure they're still safe in their beds

You startle when you hear his amused laughter, nearly bumping right into his chest as you close the door behind you

"Nobody is going to eat them while they're asleep, you know."

You can't help but feel defensive, crossing your arms and giving Alastor a withering look

"That's not funny coming from you."

His smile only gets wider, gripping your chin and tilting your head up as he leans in close

"Darling, it's even funnier because it's coming from me!"

You insist on making sure your children eat a good diet, often making it yourself because you don't trust anybody else to do it. That and some of your little ones can be picky eaters

Often, Alastor stops by the kitchen to watch you, curious about what you're making and how much of it you plan to make

"My my~ That smells absolutely delicious, my dear~! What are you making?"

You're guarded, setting down the plates on the table a little harder than you meant to

"It's just an old family recipe, nothing special."

So imagine your weary surprise when he starts to help you cook, helping with the food preparation and even setting the table. You start to get used to his help, relaxing a little more each time you two stand hip to hip, cooking

He's even taken to sitting down to meals with you and your family, an amused smile on his face as he watches all of you interact. Eventually, he joins in the conversations, and your youngest ones get comfortable enough to even eat off his plate

"Don't take food from his plate! That's rude..!"

"It's quite alright, my dear~ I find it endearing~"

He's even in your corner when your picky eaters rise up and try to say they don't like what you made. Pushing their plates away and pouting

"Mom, I don't like it..."

You can't help but sigh and roll your eyes, exasperated and annoyed that you have to go through this again

"Yes you do, you've eaten this before and you gobbled it up... Just try it, baby."

They whine and try to refuse when Alastor speaks up, pushing their plate back towards them gently

"Now, now, your mother worked hard on this meal... We don't want her good efforts to go to waste, do we?"

"No..."

Your child whines but reluctantly takes their fork and begins eating, Alastor giving you a triumphant grin as he sits back down

You take a bite of your own food to hide the fond smile that wants to creep up onto your face

The hardest, scariest moment at the hotel for you was when you and one of your older girls got into an argument in front of Alastor

It all started over a party and a boy, you wouldn't let her go and in typical teenage fashion, she started to fight with you. The more you held your ground and said no, the worse it got

"Young lady, that is not a good environment for you! It is a disgusting den of perverts, drugs and uninhibited violence!"

You tried to stay calm and reason with her, but her emotions were running too high

"We're in HELL! There's no place here that's good for any of us! Why do you have to be such a bitch!?"

Before you can even open your mouth to reply, Alastor places a hand on her shoulder, his smile twitching and the sound of static buzzing

Your heart drops as you fear he's going to hurt her, instinctively moving forward to stop him

"Alastor-"

"Dear one, it's bad manners to talk to your mother like that. She only worries for you and wants to keep you safe. I suggest you go to your room and calm down, then come back to apologize to her. Hm~?"

He pats her head and nudges her to go to her room, turning to you and tilting his head. She looks embarrassed and a little ashamed, seemingly taking Alastor's words to heart

"Ah, teenagers~ Always so temperamental even when dead~"

You do your best to ignore the sudden heat on your cheeks, the way Alastor handled the situation having you feel some type of way

If Alastor were to have a type...he would have to say he's definitely drawn to the motherly type, it's a weakness of his

So when Charlie drags you and your gaggle of children to the hotel, Alastor has an inkling of the kind of trouble he's in for the moment he sees you

He's seen how you've come running out of your room in the dead of night because you heard one of your little ones crying from a nightmare. How you spend the rest of your night awake and rocking them back to sleep

Alastor has watched you run yourself ragged trying to get all of your children ready to go out for the day, juggling your teenagers yelling at you because they can't find their clothes and your little ones tugging on your clothes for your attention

He's noticed how you'll shield your family from sinners at least twice your size without fear. Not even he himself was an exception from your intense protectiveness

In the earlier days of your family moving in, Alastor had picked up one of your younger kids to stop them from touching something and you had panicked

He'll never forget how you had tore your kid away from him and held them tight, giving Alastor a intense look as you poked his chest

"Never do that again."

He had tried to brush it off and charm you with a smile, acting unbothered

"Darling, your family is in no danger here. I can assure you-"

"Bullshit. There's no such thing as a safe place or someone you can trust, not here."

You had stormed off after that and Alastor was left with a warm feeling building in his chest that has yet to leave

Your soft smile whenever one of your kids snuggled with you, the way you sighed and put your hands on your hips when they argued with you. Your voice when you sang your littlest ones to sleep

It was all so addicting for him, he found himself wanting to be a part of your family and the love within it

Without even realizing it, Alastor had begun filling the role of the father in your family, ending up getting attached to each of your kids

He learned what made them happy, what made them sad or scared, which ones needed hugs and which ones preferred words

Both you and Alastor began to work together as a team, and most people outside of the hotel just assumed you two were a married couple. A married couple with a small army of kids

You stop one child from bumping into someone, and Alastor scoops up the other two before they can do the same

Alastor will cook dinner and you'll clean up the mess while you both sneak the dessert that the kids don't know you have

All of you will hang out together in the lobby of the hotel, Alastor humming to himself and pretending to nap while your girls play with his hair and paint his claws

Your boys will all be cuddled up around you while you read a story to them, both of you enjoying the domestic bliss

There's a building tension between you and Alastor that everyone can sense, even the kids but nobody comments on it

Except Angel but he doesn't dare bring it up around you two

Your kids start pulling little stunts to get you two to end up together, offering to make you both dinner only for it to be classically romantic with candles, flowers and your children pretending to be waiters

Or asking embarrassing questions in front of the two of you, like if Alastor thought you looked pretty or if you liked Alastor's voice

Or wanting both of you to tuck them and give them goodnight kisses at the same time

The worst part is...it was totally working

The tipping point came when one of your boys woke up crying in the middle of the night, both you and Alastor barging into the bedroom

He was inconsolable, having obviously had a nightmare and repeating that he didn't belong here. He only quieted down once you and Alastor wrapped your arms around him

The three of you were cuddled up on a bed that was far too small for all of you, you couldn't contain your blush once you realized this

So Alastor offered up his room for the night, and the three of you snuggled together in his bed, Alastor's arms wrapping around you

You both woke up with more kids in the bed than you remember going to sleep with, your little boy having climbed onto one of his sisters instead

Leaving you tucked under Alastor's chin with your face in his neck, Alastor's strong arms around your waist and his face buried in your hair

The two of you had pulled away out of embarrassment, making eye contact before suddenly melting back together, soft smiles on your faces

"Alastor..?"

"Hm~?"

"I really want to kiss you right now..."

You two are unofficially, officially a couple after that. Grossing out your children by kissing each other, saying sappy things, just embarrassing them with how in love you are

It's so painfully domestic, but Alastor wouldn't give it up for anything. Not when the youngest ones grab his legs and try to hold him down, not when the teenagers get snarky with him. Not when you two bicker over what's best for the family

Even the more embarrassing moments, like when you two are in bed together, Alastor chasing his release as you lock your legs around him and dig your nails into his back

He's nearly about to spill inside you when there's a tentative knock on the door, making the two of you freeze and whip your heads towards the sound

"Papa..? Mama? I keep hearing scary noises, and I can't sleep..."

It's an awkward untangling of limbs and soft cursing before you two start laughing at how absurd it is

Or the softer moments when he looks into the bedroom to see you singing your kids to sleep, feeling himself grow relaxed and sleepy at the sound of it

His life has nearly completely changed since meeting you and your family, but he wouldn't change anything even if he could

Rosie often teases him about how much he's softened up for his family. It's all good-natured, though, she just as attached to them as he is

"So Alastor~ How's that little family of yours doing? Did your girls finally stop fighting over that boy?"

"They're lovely as always, but unfortunately, that boy seems to have been scared off."

"Such a shame~"

"Quite~"

Honestly, the only thing Alastor needs now is to find you a ring

@valerie-is-in-the-cupboard I know we talked about you writing a lil' something about this, so I tried to twist it up because I didn't want to inadvertently take any ideas you had!

We write porn girlypop, it’s truly not that serious 😭

WHERE is that fic where Lucifer asks reader to have his kid and she dies and then she literally decapitates Adam omg I just remembered it and I wanna reread it 😭🤞 I lost it 💔

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OH MY GOD 😭

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine teehee THE CAR SCEEENEEEEEE UGHHHHH

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I love a man who YEARNS 😫

Hey I just wanted to say I'm OBSESSED WITH chubby servant reader x knight 😭🙏 I honestly love anything you write with them

As much as I wanna be a horny pervert, I kinda want some fluff 😭 (I'm sure there are enough horny perverts in the ask to make up for this 💀)

One of the reasons I LOVE this series is the way they YEARN for each other, especially the knight 💜

Can I ask for some more pre-relationship shenanigans?

Ahhhh thank you thank you, i have become obsessed with them!! And your ask gives me the perfect opportunity to share his name!!

"How was the knighting yesterday?"

"Oh, quite nice. The ladies looked so lovely in their dresses. And the new knights are quite handsome." She looks at you with a smile. "And of course the food was magnificant."

"You flatter me, Cathy," you say, smiling back at her, going back to kneeding your loaf.

"I heard there was a man who was knighted that was especially handsome. Pray tell, is it true?"

"Ah, to some he is. He made the princess giggle when he kissed her hand." The women coo and lean closer to the speaker. "He was quite handsome indeed. Perhaps his jaw is sharper than his sword." The women fall into a fit of giggles but continue their work.

"Do you know his name?"

"Why? So you can try to seduce him?" The woman denies it but is blushing furiously, shaking her hands.

"Oh, but I'm curious, Cathy! Please, tell us his name so we may know who we are speaking of."

"Fair, fair." She brings her hands to her chest, looking off into the distance, thinking. "His name... oh, it was... Adam... Adam... Fischer! Adam Fischer, that is who he was."

He sees you by accident at first.

He was ordered to guard this section of the grounds tonight, and he takes his time to admire his new home in detail. The gardens here are lovely, vast and expanse.

He sees open windows, and the flickering of a fire. He decides to investigate.

When he approaches, he is able to see into the kitchen. He sees you sitting by the fire, your back to him, bonnet discarded and hair loose. You are writing something fervently, too enraptured by your words to notice that he is right there, watching you.

You put down your pencil and stretch upwards, moaning softly at the action. He stares at you, your free hair, the curve of your bodice. He has not seen your face, but he decides you are beautiful.

You rise from the chair and he panics, tiptoeing quickly to a nearby tree and hiding his frame, still watching. You approach the windows, leaning forward and closing your eyes, soaking in the moonlight. He sees the way it makes your skin glow, and his heart flutters.

You close the windows one by one. He waits, then moves back toward the kitchen window, to see if he can catch a glimpse of you again.

By the time he reaches the window, the fire is out.

The next time he sees you, there is more purpose behind it.

He has returned from training on the outer walls. He is tired, and so is his horse, but the two return together to the stables.

To his surprise, you are there.

He recognizes you from a distance as he dismounts his horse. You are speaking with the young stable boys, holding a basket over your arm.

He approaches, curious.

"What is one and one?"

"Two!" cheers one of the boys.

"Very good!" You hand him an apple from your basket. "Now, what is two and two?"

"F-Four!" chimes in another. You hand him an apple, smiling.

"And four with four?" The boys quiet, glancing at each other. One of them lifts his fingers slowly, staring at them.

"Sev... eight?" he asks, looking up at you. You clap with joy.

"Yes, yes! Very good, my love." You give an apple, which he takes happily. "Very good, my boys, very good!"

"I do not believe these are children, my lady."

You jolt, looking up at him. He towers over you, as he does with many others, but for some reason seeing you look up at him gives him a different feeling.

"I, um... no, sir, they are not mine."

"But you feed them and teach them numbers?"

"I... uh..."

"You are not in trouble, my lady. I am merely asking."

"I... yes, I do."

He hums. His squire approaches, takes his horse from him before walking away again. He raises his hand towards you.

"May I?"

You stare at his hand, then at your apples.

"I... what is... what is three fortnights?"

He stares at you, thinking you are joking. When you don't give him the apple, he thinks.

"It's... eight, two... forty two nights, my lady."

You blink. A smile creeps up on your face, and he does not think he has ever seen anything so lovely.

"Very good, sir."

You give the apple to his outstretched hand. He takes it, briefly admiring how small and soft your hands look compared to his. You clear your throat, making him look at you.

"I-I must be on my way, children. I have dinner to prepare. Now, what do you say?"

"Thank you lady Y/N!" they cheer in unison, making your smile widen.

"Very good." You turn to him and briefly curtsy before scurrying off to what he assumes is the kitchen.

He savors the apple after dinner. It is sweet, and he thinks only of you as he bites into it.

"What do you think of lady Y/N?" he asks on the next expedition. His captain glances at him, then back to the trail.

"She is a fine lady. She gives sweet things to the younglings and teaches them to write. Why do you speak of her?"

"I was merely curious," he lies.

"She is cursed!" one of the younger men announces, riding his steed closer. "She seduced a man before he went to battle, and then he died. She should not be messed with."

"Wha—"

"She is not a witch, Michael," another man chimes in. "They were in love. They were to marry, but the war started before they could wed. Twas merely battle that made him lose his life, not witchcraft."

"Regardless," Michael moves his horse closer to Adam, "you should steer clear of her. Besides," he gives Adam a knowing smile, "I heard the princess is very fond of you. Why not pursue her?"

"I have no interest in that brat." The men of the party 'oo' in shock.

"You should not speak of the princess in such a way, Sir Adam! She is a fine woman, who reads and studies art. You don't meet many women like that nowadays."

"You would, Sir Michael," he says, looking at the younger man, "if you knew where to look."

He kicks his horse and moves past the rest of the party, trying to clear his head.

When they reach a town, they find a tavern. They eat and drink and play silly games when a woman in the corner of the room catches their eye. She claims to be a witch. She has a ball of glass or crystal before her, urging them forward. The other soldiers go first, paying a gold coin to hear their fortune.

"Come, Sir Adam, have your fortune read."

"I do not wish to waste my gold on childish games."

"Well, then I shall give you a coin."

He is pushed towards the table, into the chair before the cloaked woman. She takes the coin from Michael, and smiles.

"Think of what you want most, and it shall appear to me here." She motions towards the clear ball. He sighs, sitting back and thinking. The ball becomes clouded, most likely due to a party trick, and she leans in close.

"I see..." She cocks her head, furrowing her brow. "I... I see..."

"Well? What do you see, woman?"

"I... my lord, I am sorry, but... are you perhaps hungry?"

"What?" The men crowd the table, trying to see into the ball. "What do you see?"

"I... I see a loaf of bread, sir."

Adam gawks, leaning closer.

"You... you see what?"

"Bread, sir."

"What kind?"

"I-I do not know, sir. Tis merely there, with a design."

"Can you draw it for me?"

She pauses.

"For another coin, I can."

He scurries to give her a coin, watching her take a pencil and paper and draw the design from the crystal ball. When she is done, he takes it, staring at the design, memorizing it, still thinking of you.

He carries it the entire expedition. Some of the men tease him for holding so tightly to a drawing of bread, but he does not care. Every night he stares at it, memorizing each line like scripture. He thinks of you all the while, even as he stuffs the drawing in his pocket and takes out his cock.

When the party returns from the journey, he rushes to the kitchen. If it is truly fate, the bread in the kitchen will have a score just like the one on his paper.

When he arrives, the bread is being pulled from the ovens. You are not there, much to his dismay, but he checks each loaf of bread regardless. When he finds that none of them look like the picture at all, his shoulders sag, the paper falling from his hand to the floor.

The other knights do not ask what happened when he returns. They can see the answer from his face alone.

He is still glum by morning, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to go to the dining hall to eat. But he must continue, despite everything.

The knights are giving him knowing looks when he finally arrives to the hall. They smile, raise their brows, and he squints in confusion. He finds his seat, reaching for the bread, although he's not sure he can stomach it.

The bread.

He bolts upright, grabbing the load before another soldier can grab it to cut. The design, it is exactly what the drawing showed, the drawing he memorized so clearly over so many nights.

The knights laugh as he runs from the dining hall, carrying the loaf of bread.

When he reaches the kitchen, he is breathless. The ladies working stop, stare at him, confused and perhaps frightened.

"Is something wrong, my lord?" one of the women asks, making you look up and stare at him. He stares back, panting.

"Who..." He inhales deep, standing straighter. "Who scored the bread?"

The ladies instinctively look at you. You bring your hands to your chest.

"D-Did I offend you, sir?"

"No, no, I..." He takes a step forward, holding the bread so hard that it cracks. "How did you come up with the design?"

"I... I found a drawing, sir." You reach into your pocket and unfold the paper he dropped, placing it on the table. "I thought it was quite lovely. I thought the queen would enjoy it, s-so I practiced on the loaves for the rest of the castle."

He huffs, his lips curling. You swallow, glancing at the other women, in search of help, but they stay silent.

"I-I am sorry if you do not like it, sir. I-I know that it is far too... delicate for the knights." You reach for the loaf in his hand. "I shall bring you a normal, fresh loaf in a moment."

"No!" The women in the room jolt at his booming voice. He brings the bread loaf to his chest, shaking his head. "No, I... I do not wish for another loaf. I shall have this one, and nothing more."

The silence in the room is overwhelming. He glances around the others' faces before falling back to yours. He bows and leaves.

He returns to the dining hall. He eats nothing but the loaf he had taken. The knights chuckle about it for the rest of the day, but he does not care. All he can think of is you.

RIP to all the 10/10 fanfics that I LOST 😭💔

My man unfortunately

Oh dear, did you think I was going to let you keep these photos? 📻🦌