Me As The Dm Deciding Which Beloved Npc To Kill Off For Drama

the Grinch and Shrek bonding over their mutual appreciation for onions and being green

I’m probably alone in this but my favorite Doctor Who joke to this day is when 9 and Rose go to the end of the world and a jukebox is uncovered to which Cassandra says “and now a traditional ballad of my people” Toxic by Britney Spears starts playing.

your outie has the serial killer genes. your outie dropped out in the fourth grade to run drugs to support their nanna. your outie fought a friggin bear. your outie is weird, they're a weirdo. please try to enjoy each fact equally. your outie always has a stupid hat on.

you don't get it bro. there's this song called we are the champions. adrenaline music. hypes you up kinda music. gets me in a frenzy. he says we're the champions of the world. the world dude

⚡️DEATH IS ONLY TEMPORARY I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!⚡️

It’s crazy that countries on the edge of the Sahara desert are reversing desertification by just digging half circles

Hey! Just wanted to say that I appreciate your blog posts and that they never fail to bring a smile to my face. Hope you're having a great day!

I live in dark street ditches and I bite at pedestrians ankles

"I killed another houseplant bc of executive dysfunction"

Mundane

Evokes helplessness

Kind of a bummer

"Plagued by demons as I am, my crops have withered yet again"

Powerful imagery

Frames you as a gothic protagonist

Emphasizes that you are hounded by demons

How fucking cool are demons???

i need you to be aware that you can make a giant batch of caramelized onions to keep in the freezer and defrost at will. that is legal and they can't stop you. they can't take this from you

diversity win! the pharmaceutical corporation that is going to trap your wife in an evil basement includes gender neutral pronouns on their patient intake forms