8/30/22

preparing for the presentation I have to make next week!! the closer the time comes for me to speak in front of people the more I want to puke

10.05.24

i just finished doing anki for hours (quite a load to catch up to because i studied a lot yesterday) and now i want to nap before my PM OB ER duty. i’m happy and grateful, despite the toxicness of every duty. despite our emergency OR yesterday that lasted until 530am. i really feel like i’m in the right place.

To conquer the world you still have to go step by step about it

This past year i found that no matter how great the challenge, it helps me immensely to stay calm (ignore my panic) and just start working towards my goals systematically.

Starting is the hardest part.

4/6 exams to go

Just because you have to study to achieve your dreams doesn't mean it can't be enjoyable

College has been a whole process for me. I did not know how to study, i did not know how to put effort into the right things, and most importantly, i did not know how to accept that my actions (or lack of) were the problem.

It took me years, but I've learned to accept that it's ok for me to need to study to be good when it comes to a subject, that college is a place for learning, not for being instantly good at something.

And now i can finally say that, without the subconscious frustration, i truly do enjoy learning new things, studying new subjects, and studying for the sake of knowing more, not just to pass exams.

It takes work, but it's all worth it.

9/04/22

Going back to university to take the exams I've been dreading.

I hardly feel prepared, but I dont know if any amount of studying would've made me feel prepared. Missed my dorm, missed going to the library to study, so these are gonna be a few bittersweet days!

What do you do to prepare for exams?

7/100 days of productivity

one of the greatest tragedies in life is that you will always be loved more than you will ever know. someone in class finds your presence inviting and warm, even if you’ve only ever exchanged a few words with them—maybe none at all. someone on the street loves your smile and it gets them down the next few streets. someone you used to be friends with still wishes to fondly call your name. someone you used to be friends with five years ago would give anything to be in the same room as you today. someone who regularly comes into work is disappointed when you aren’t there to brighten their day. someone missed you today. someone noticed you were gone. someone loves you when you’re there; someone loves you when you’re nowhere to be found at all. you think you have always disappeared when you’re no longer in the picture, but you’ve never left the frame.

june! is for open opportunities! self-care! studying! and ✨ getting it together ✨ more reflecting on my journal! finally establishing a routine when I’m on PM duty: sleep in, workout, and study. things are good!

Last revisions before the day of the exam...

9/05/22

Did not sleep at all last night.

I have an early exam the day after tomorrow early in the morning, so I am trying to fix my sleep schedule. Sleep would be wonderful, but desperate times require for desperate measures. Went on a long walk to clear my mind, and now i am studying in a Starbucks, enjoying the chill music in the background. Ordered an iced chai latte for the first time (usually i get it hot) and it is heavenly.

Hope I won't fall asleep while in public :)

8/100 days of productivity

14.06.2024—desk set up