I Just Went All The Way Down To Find Your Handwriting And Thats Some Pretty Letters You Have There

There's footage of you running into the glass elevator I'M SO SORRY BUT THAT SHIT SENT ME LAUGHING SO HARD I THINK I'M DYING LMAOOOOO 🤣

It wasn't that funny. 😒

Hello, Starshine! Greetings, tumblr visitors!

Welcome to the official Willy Wonka Tumblr page! I shake you warmly by the hand. ✨

My name is Willy Wonka, & this tumblr will be dedicated to answering all of your burning questions & discussing a bit about my chocolate factory, such as how I make my chocolate, what ingredients are best to use for the absolute best quality & how I passed the Chocolate Manufacturing exam & became the youngest chocolatier in history.

Not to mention loads of fun sharing secret recipes (not mine, oh heavens no), sneak peeks inside the factory, news, updates & more! I personally will also be sharing some valuable advice as to how to become a great chocolatier like myself for the aspiring!

Although since I am quite busy running the factory, my Oompa Loompas will take over every now & again to operate my page. They just insisted I needed social media accounts. For now I bid you good day & until then.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

You said you would read a book for us but the original asker never said what book they wanted you to read.. so can you like leave some voice clips on my ask, it can even be quotes?

I would post more to further entrain you but I'm afraid there is a one video limit. Maybe I'll read a book in the near future, someone requested If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, haha! We'll see.

I love your little lisp;

Its so cute!

I do NOT have a lisp.

And good morning. ☺️

I DID NOT!

Ok, maybe I did. Aheh...

The shade you be throwing at Alice, Mike, and Augustus on here and the way you be responding to your dad in the comments be KILLING MEEEE LMFAO YALL FUNNY AF 😭😭😭😭

And when mad hatter was yelling at you and Edward through your asks and you were like "oh..." I died. And Some girl said you get her wet and your dad said he hope they ain't a minor, please come get your dad. It's the chaos for me 💀💀💀

You know what they say, if you don't like my shade then step out of my shadow. That Alice is something, though. A drunk. Hmph.

As for my dad, unfortunately there isn't much I can do to deter his behavior.

What's a product you didn't sell because it didn't work out or something? 🤔

Cocksuckers. I created this thingie-ma-bob when I was 23. You see, the original idea was that it would be a small match box but instead of matches, you get a teeny little sugary sucker inside! Kinda like miniature pixie sticks. I wanted it to be colorful and exciting, a burst of different flavors within each one! But as you can guess, today that wouldn't be a good marketing idea. People would get the wrong idea. Heh...

For one of the more obvious reasons...

Good morning, people!

I want to quickly show you guys something new inside the factory!

This is the Space and Underwater room! How many of you believe in aliens? I hope you do, because we've perfectly constructed anti gravity delicacies, called Moon Pies, that we're going to send straight into orbit, allowing any aliens out there with a sweet tooth to eat to his or her fill. And that way, if the sweet is eaten, we'll know whether or not extraterrestrial life forces exists. Brilliant, no?

Now, these big white balls attached to the ceiling above the Oompa Loompas' heads are organic moon replicas, made from crystalized particles, Himalayan salt and Alpaca fiber. They're used to collect any goop or DNA from any aliens that eat the pies off 'em. We've also set up a big pair of binoculars to see if we capture any activity.

Oh, and check this out, this is one of the neatest things. This is the Underwater Simulator, it serves the same purpose as the Space Simulator and Moon Pies, except its job is to lure otherworldly marine vessels into our line of vision, see if they like chocolate.

You just simply dunk a person, or in this case an Oompa Loompa, into the water and they can scuba their little bodies around while collecting data. Yeah.

Though it's a latest and greatest idea still in the works, if successful, I'll be the first chocolatier in the world to document extraterrestrial life! Ha, can you just imagine?!

Goodnight world.

If you could travel anywhere in Europe, where would you travel to?

Hm, I would visit Venice, Italy. I think Italian happens to be one of the most beautifully spoken languages and I've always dreamed of living there when I was a little boy. Not to mention the beautiful architecture, it's all very breathtaking. I'd love to just watch the people travel by boat to their destinations. I wonder how they manage it all?

Okay lemme guess most of your bathrobes are some shade of red or purple?

Most of them are violet, black, burgundy, deep blue or lavender. So yeah, you were pretty much in the ballpark.