I Like How You Embrace Different Cultures Like With The Oompa Loompas You Speak Their Language, Tried

What's ur Hogwarts house and what house do u think ur friends are in

Hm. A rather unusual question, but I'll go with it! ☝️My Hogwarts house is definitely Slytherin, although I don't value or support cunning principles.

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As for my friends:

@sincerelyalice would probably be in Ravenclaw.

@onlyedwardscissorhands is definitely in Hufflepuff.

@xx-maria I believe is in Slytherin. It just suits her.

@tarranthightopp is in Gryffindor. If I'm not sure about anyone else's Hogwarts house, I'm sure about this one!

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I liked this question, haha! It was cute and... different! Thank you for that one, anon. 😌

Oh...! 🤭

Hey, it turns out zere's vone dog I'm not afraid of. Rolly, from 101 Dalmatians. I can relate to him. - Augustus

You can relate to a dog?

You know you really shouldn't beg, it's not becoming of you.

Hi Mr. Wonka. If I in any way made you or your oompa loompas uncomfortable at the last barbeque, I sincerely apologize. I did not think I would get drunk ~

That's just the problem, Alice. You don't think. You spilled heavens knows what on my new tailored coat, vomited on poor Edward, kicked an Oompa Loompa while trying to, as you said, "tear up the dance floor", and tripped and fell into the dessert table. You made a fool of yourself and ruined the party for everyone at the same time. Next time please be more considerate of your guests before popping out a big bottle of the some ol' trippy chug-a-lug.

Oh, I almost forgot. You're banned from the factory as well, by the way. I can't have you endangering my Oompa Loompas or destroying everything, now can I? And I will be billing you my Oompa Loompa's hospital bill. Yeah. Use this as a lesson to be more responsible. Hmph.

LET US SEE YOUR HANDWRITING PLEASE

But you've already seen my handwriting when I briefly explained how affiliate marketing and networks work.

Homemade dinner guaranteed to taste better than ya mama's cookin'!

Indian style chicken and vegetable tray bake; sweet potatoes, courgettes, peppers, onions, cauliflower and fennel to start, tossed in oil, cumin and turmeric. Chicken pieces marinated in garlic, ginger, garam masala, homemade smoked chilli sauce, and lime juice. Roasted for 45 minutes then added broccoli, chopped garlic and tomatoes. Finished off for another 15 minutes and then served with a few dollops of raita (yogurt, mint, cucumber and coriander). And to wash it down, Verdi Spumante white sparkling wine, imported from Italy.

Look at those beautiful, bright colors. Those crisp veggies. That succulent, tender chicken.

Who said I can't hold it down in the kitchen? No one? Oh, I thought so. Ha.

Your 42 I thought you was like 31 or 35 cuz 35-20 and all but you look young af what's your skin care routine? 😂😂

No, going by your assessment I would've been only 15 years old at the time I opened my first store on Cherry Street, dear. I hadn't even graduated school. I opened my store in my early twenties. The factory was built by the time I was 27. Fifteen years later, I'm 42. Easy math. Anyone could do it.

Please don't die, I can't afford to bring you back.

Yo haircut stuuuuuupid af what did you think when getting your hair cut with a fckn booooowl

First of all, my haircut isn't stupid, yours is. Matter of fact it's probably dry, basic and straight with split ends, no style, volume or curl. Just dreadful and more lifeless than a dead rose. 😌

There's quite a difference between the occasional sweet tooth and eating sweets and candy for almost every meal.

What's your favorite food at McDonald's?

I thought we've been over this? Aren't you the same girl who suggested I build a McDonald's in my factory? I don't think you understand how unhealthy their "food" is, and I use the term loosely because it isn't food fit for human consumption. It's 40% pink paste, 20% GMOs and 40% human DNA. And it makes you overweight.

Do I look like I eat McDonald's to you? That photo alone is giving me heartburn.

Sticky and sick but happy. It makes me happy.

And yes we have to talk about that. Definitely. You'd be horrified by how I live.

I hope you're not standing in any rain as of now.

And most definitely, I'm a little concerned and confused about your behavior.

Good morning, folks! Rise and shine, wipe the boogers from your eyes! It's show and tell time! ✨

You guys ever had chocolate soda? No? Then you're in luck!

Behold! The Berry Berry room. This very room is specially designed for soda pop creations beyond the wildest flavors. Everything from Root Beer to Chocolate Berry Blast. Which just so happens to be the new flavor we're still processing through our machine.

The Export and Float machine (above) fills every 12 oz bottle up with some of Wonka's magic ingredients!

But as you can see, we've tried it at least two hundred times and every bottle of soda came out a bit differently. In wonky shapes and sizes. So this is still in the works.

But with every trial and error, we've gotten a bit closer to our goal! Putting these babies in every store on every shelf!

That's all for now from the factory.

More updates to come soon! Til then.

- Willy Wonka 🍫