HOT DAMN IT’S HAPPENING

Penny (anonymously) writes to Councilman Arc, asking if self-aware robots have the same protected rights as humans and faunas. Jaune doesn't know if this is a joke, a dig at his equality measures, or a serious question, but he signs it into law either way. Ironwood has a panic-attack worrying if Jaune has spies in Atlas.

Ironwood was panicking again.

It was about Councilman Arc, again.

And it was about him enforcing equality, again!

...well, the equality bit was not exactly panic-worthy, but what exactly he wrought recently certainly was.

Thing is, the young Arc had just signed into law that any form of advanced AI had the same rights as humans and faunus, as they likely possessed self-awareness, thus sentience and sapience, and should be treated fairly. It was introduced in anticipation of likely progress in the field of computer science.

The fact was that Jaune had done so after receiving a letter from Penny Polendina, secretly a gynoid, where she hoped for a positive answer. he had simply gone through with it.

James Ironwood, however, did not know that.

Hence the panic.

“Pietro, I need your help.” Perhaps the robotics scientist and father to their secret project P.E.N.N.Y could advise...

Because it was unlocked, keep up.

If Weiss didn't wanna walk in on Jaune and Winter then Weiss should never have left her room unlocked.

yeah WEISS!

You have to respect the fact that the entire FNDM just agreed Fem!Jaune would be tall and stacked like PowerGirl. But I forgot how cute Fem!Ren usually is.

He’s already tall, and tal and stacked is a wonderful combo. Also, Ren is cute, period.

(that last opinion is sponsored by Nora Valkyrie)

What’s really funny is you (or Ren) thinking that any condom on Remnant could hold up to Nora’s Arc nookie, any that don’t end up as latex scraps would end up popping like water balloons.

Nora, or huntresses in general, would have to either be on the pill, or have an implant, I usually headcanon the latter as more common, since hunters seem to have a habit of wandering outside cities for long stretches, why carry condoms or pills if you don’t have to?

Nora's thirst scares the living hell out of Ren and Jaune. Jaune however has no chance at finding shelter when given the option of Nora's needs or finding himself cornered by those thirsty moms.

Nora: come on jaune i wanna spend the night with my hunky leader.

Jaune: nora. Im gonna be busy

Nora: you can either spend it with me or those moms.

Jaune:…

Jaune: you’re lucky i love you

Ren: (from the kitchen) wear protection!

Blake: Horny on main. Currently lighting candles. Too lazy to let her own booty-call in the house.

Jaune: Was in bed already. Still smitten for his kitten. More happy that he’ll get sleep cuddling than he is for the sex.

Kali: Starting to get grandbaby-crazy. Has to be up in the morning. Hoping this one will fuck the emo out of her daughter.

Jaune Watches a Lot of Fantastic Four

When Blake invites him to smash at 1 in the morning: "It's clobbering time!"

When Kali answers the door wondering why they have visitors at 1 AM: "Milady, 'tis the clobbering hour."

Jaune x Vernal.

You definitely love the good ol’ prep school girl falling for the dangerous bad boy from the wrong neighborhood.

Especially when the girl is a boy and the boy is a girl.

Not saying it wouldn’t be hot & hilarious to watch that, it definitely would be.

...But it’d be amazing to do this with Emerald. Em gets a reverse-Cinder in her head. Pyrrha has to speed-run Emerald a face-turn to go hunt some gloomy Arc booty.

I would go for Cinder, but the concept has been done semi-commonly.

Last pick would be Weiss, based solely on the amount of thirsty effort Pyrrha would need to talk Weiss into it.

~Schnee Manor : Vol.4 ~

Pyrrha: Come on Weiss! Just once... one... one night! So I can rest in peace, probably. It’ll be like sleeping in late. Like a weird dream. You probably won’t even remember it!

Weiss: My body would remember it!

Pyrrha: He-he..Well, possibly... *Remembering Arc Dick*

Weiss: *Intrusively thinking of Arc Dick* Gah! H-How is it so- When did you get to look at it!? *Red-faced*

Pyrrha: Whenever I got the chance to. Dorm life was a glorious hell, Weiss. A hell I’m still in for every night that Knight isn’t in me!

Horny Ghost AU:

Pyrrha’s love/lust is so strong that she refused to die without telling Jaune how she really feels....and getting her cheeks clapped by said blond dork.

So her soul comes back to the world of the living and binds with one of her friend’s body to be able to survive.

Now it wouldn’t be a problem if it was a friend like Ruby (who has a crush on Jaune), or Yang (who wants to bang Jaune), or even Nora (who would happily sleep with Jaune if it helped Pyrrha), but no.

Instead Pyrrha’s soul gets stuck in the body of one Lei Ren. Her one other male friend.

Pyrrha grabs her new round and soft, bubble butt and smiles. Oh well, She’ll work with what she’s got.

Vernal: What about these two? *tears open her shirt*

jaune: gimme one reason why i shouldnt kill you.

vernal: because we're alone and we know theres a sexual tension between us

jaune:...

vernal:

We thought Arcs just fucked that hard, but it turns out that it’s being a Maiden that makes you hyper-fertile.

That’s the real reason Raven had to leave Patch, she found out that she could get laid or get magical but both was too dangerous. She had to leave to avoid all Taiyang temptation and live in the woods.

How else do you think Salem had four kids one after another. None of them look like they’re the same age but they look really close in age.

Magic Chicks man, gotta be careful.

What if now hear me out on this one Jaune’s mom is the summer maiden

Jaune: Guys! This is a terrible idea!

Nora: Oh come on Jauney, it’s not that bad.

Ruby: Yeah! We just have to go visit your mom, ask her to open up vault down in Vacuo, grab the relic, and then we’re on our way to kicking Salem’s butt once and for all!

Jaune: *Twitches nervously* L-Like I said, terrible idea!

Weiss: What’s got you so agitated, Arc?

Yang: Yeah. You kinda look like Blake does when a new smut book is coming soon, but only she can’t get it fast enough. So her whole body does that funny twitchy thing from time to time.

Blake: *Shoots her friend an unimpressed glare*

Jaune: I... may have....not told my family we were coming?

Weiss: *Sighs and pulls out her phone* Well then give them a call. We don’t want to be rude and drop by unannounced. Besides, we’re almost there. I can almost see your hou-

Jaune: *Looking more and more distressed by the second*

Blake: Jaune. When’s the last time you talked to your mother?

Jaune: B-Before Beacon?

Weiss: S-So she doesn’t know about ANYTHING?! You never once thought to call her and tell her you were ok? Wether during school, the festival, or after the fall of Beacon!?

Jaune: N-No?!

Blake: Wow.

Yang: You are so dead.

Ruby: *Patting Jaune’s arm sympathetically* D-Dont worry, I’m sure it won’t be that ba-

*Ruby’s words came to an abrupt end when a flying, magic infused slipper, rocketed into Jaune’s face*

Juniper Arc: JAUNE ARC! Do you have any idea how worried sick I’ve been! To think that my own son, my baby boy, would sneak off and join a monster fighting school without so much as a word good bye!? To not hear from him for MONTHS! Not until the Vital Festival! And then to watch him fight for his life on NATIONAL TV, as waves and waves of grimms came for him and all his little friends! I was absolutely terrified! And do I get a single call afterwards to let me know if my son had survived? Do I? NO! I don’t! I don’t hear a single word from you. Not until your sister, Bless Saphron’s heart, takes pitty on your old lady of a mother and tells me that you are ok and healthy and on your way here. HERE!! Without so much as a TEXT from you! So?! What do you have to say for yourself young man!?

Jaune:

Ren: Uh, Mrs Arc?

Juniper: Juniper.

Pyrrha: Um, Miss Juniper. I.... I think- *Holds up a fluffy bunny slipper* I think your slipper knocked him out?

Juniper: *Sighs angrily* That boy, honestly! Can you all be a dear and drag my son’s sorry carcass back inside. I’ll whip you all up some hot food and drinks while we wait for Mr lazy bones to wake back up again. Come along girls.

*Yang and Nora shrug and carry Jaune towards the large house between the two of them*

(I loved this random idea very much! It’s was very creative and sporadic! 😁)

~Haven~

Ruby: -and then he just started taking bites out of it!

Nora: Yeah he did! Bossman Jaune locking it down!

Weiss: That’s disgusting! Barbaric!

Ruby: I know right! He’d do it whenever he found a deer, and he’d always ask me if I wanted it first like that’s normal!

Nora: I always ate Ren’s deer hearts...

Yang: Is this just a thing now? Was Vomit-Boy that weird when we were at school?

Blake: Wait- Where did Jaune grow up again? Do you know?

Ruby: Uhhh...Ansel? East of Vale? He’d go camping out in Anima though so he knew where to-

Blake: Hmmmm.... *Locking eyes with a giddy Nora*

Ruby: What? Does that matter?

Blake: Well in many regions of rural Sanus the heart goes to the youngest in the group to help them grow stronger.-

Ruby: I’m barely younger! And I don’t need a heart to g-

Blake: But on Anima, it’s a romantic gesture.

Weiss: It WHAT!?

Yang: Wha-ha-ha-hat?

Blake: It’s a confession, or if you want to be more literal, ‘I am asking permission to romantically pursue you’ it’s actually how Valentine’s Day started.

Weiss: How could that be considered romant-

Ruby: I was supposed to eat it!?

Yang: D’aaaw... poor Jauney, had his poor gross deer heart broken again...

Nora: You wish~~~

Weiss:...Ruby you didn’t-

Ruby: I didn’t even touch it!

Nora: Tell ‘em Blakey!

Blake: *Sighs* A rejection would have been tossing it on the ground, or even passing it on to another person, Ruby, you said he could have it every time?

Ruby: Y-Yeah, but I didn’t know any-

Nora: *Hyperactive Squealing*

Weiss: QUIET! Blake! What does that mean?

Blake: *Fidgeting with pages, looking away* Well, it varies, but-

Yang: WHAT’S IT!?

Blake:...’I am already yours’...

Nora: *Cheering*

Weiss & Yang: *Angry Stammering*

Ruby: *Panicking Rose Noises*

random idea for my head cannon of jaune

walking through remnant was a long and drawn-out process. especially when you didn’t pack rations before you set out. ruby would argue that she had a lot to think about before leaving but she knew she’d screwed up. she was taught to fight not to plan a caravan. luckily jaune knew how to hunt and process his kills, sure it was sad to kill a cute bunny or a gentle deer but hey they had to eat law of nature. she only cried a little  the bad news was that jaune processed the kills while they were around. and seeing her crush bestie friend ripping the guts out of an animal before skinning it. she got a little sick to her stomach.  Jaune: “okay, ruby you want the heart?” *still got his hands covered in the deer* Ruby: *kinda scared* “what?” Nora: *gasps* “Renny it’s happening!” Ren: *pleasantly surprised* “ahead of schedule as well, congratulations ruby” Ruby: “why am I being congratulated? what’s going on” Jaune: “the hearts something that can be eaten raw, I wanted to know if you wanted it” Ruby: “okay funny guys, really funny. you almost had me” *looks around* “you’re joking, right?” Jaune: “as serious as a heart attack” Nora: *gasps* Ren: *smiles happily* Ruby: “I couldn’t” jaune: “I don’t mind, you should have it” Ren: *shakes his head, still smiling* Nora: *pantomimes eating* Ruby: *panicking*  “YOU EAT IT!” Nora: “ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” *grabs ren by the shirt and shakes him* “IT’S HAPPENING!” jaune: *shrugs and takes a bite out of the heart like an apple* Nora/Ren: *applauding* Ruby: *face pales* *softly to herself* “what the heck” ———————————————————————————————————– so fun fact about deer hearts they can be eaten raw. in vale the heart is traditionally given to the youngest member of the group to help them grow strong in minstral the heart is given to someone you care about and is seen as something romantic  in the kingdoms, proper no one eats deer heart  so three different things were happening during this story for Nora and ren, it was jaune giving a romantic gesture (a very major one) to ruby who then reciprocated (in a major way) basically announcing that they would be courting each other  jaune made a kill and as a skilled hunter offered the best part to ruby who was the youngest as a gesture to show he cared about her. but she didn’t like deer heart so he ate it for her ruby just watched her … jaune, kill an animal rip its guts out through its butt cut off its skin then eat the heart out of it still raw after offering it to her