It’s Glorious.

Jaune x Vernal.

You definitely love the good ol’ prep school girl falling for the dangerous bad boy from the wrong neighborhood.

Especially when the girl is a boy and the boy is a girl.

Perhaps we could get some fluffy Topaz?

Emerald: You know, I’ve been meaning to ask: why did you have a dress handy for the dance?

Jaune: *sweating nervously* O-oh, that… I ummm… 

Emerald: *raising a brow, waiting* 

Jaune: I… borrowed it. From my sister.

Emerald: Do you still have it? 

Jaune: ….why?

Emerald: *smiling at him* I just want to see if it still fits.

-----------------------------------------------

Weiss: *walking into the room* Jaune, have you seen- 

Jaune: *wearing an ill-fitting white dress, his pecs spilling out* W-Weiss! 

Weiss: *hesitating* ...why are you wearing a dress?

Jaune: Emerald… wanted to see me in it again.

Emerald: *kissing Jaune’s cheek* I thought he looked cute in it. 

Weiss: *walking out of the room* I’m just going to ask Nora if she’s seen Yang. 

Jaune: *face beet red* Why does this always happen to me? 

Topaz is Jaune and Emerald.

Don’t worry about it, I forget them too if I’m not constantly seeing people use the names.

Ghost Pyrrha reacting to sudden post-whale Topaz developing?

What’s topaz again? Still bad at Remembering all the ship names...

Lewd white knight

Weiss makes jaune wear a collar and a leash

Horny Ghost AU:

Pyrrha’s love/lust is so strong that she refused to die without telling Jaune how she really feels....and getting her cheeks clapped by said blond dork.

So her soul comes back to the world of the living and binds with one of her friend’s body to be able to survive.

Now it wouldn’t be a problem if it was a friend like Ruby (who has a crush on Jaune), or Yang (who wants to bang Jaune), or even Nora (who would happily sleep with Jaune if it helped Pyrrha), but no.

Instead Pyrrha’s soul gets stuck in the body of one Lei Ren. Her one other male friend.

Pyrrha grabs her new round and soft, bubble butt and smiles. Oh well, She’ll work with what she’s got.

Jaune "Ready to die for anybody" Arc and Winter "Scared to die for everybody' Schnee. IDK how to make it shippy but I thought it was a neat parallel.

jaune's martyr complex mixed with winter's self presverations. winter shows jaune that he doesnt have to be the scapegoat and jaune shows winter its okay to be vunerable

Little does Jaune know that taming a literal big cat is the traditional way you get permission to marry a Belladonna girl. It's how Ghira got to marry Kali even.

“It’s the law.”

“What law!?”

There was chaos once the news broke. Taming Mittens the tiger cub, apparently, meant that one was eligible to marry a Belladonna.

Kali was adamant about that part, and Jaune’s mom only encouraged her. The pressure was now on their children to make some babies.

Good.

Blake was, suitably, about as embarrassed about this as Jaune was. Pyrrha was angry at her, too.

But!

And hear her out here...

Mittens is shoooo cuuuuute~

Emerald: You're our slave now, (Smacks Jaune's ass) so move it!

Jaune: (Immediately turns around to Emerald) Did you just smack my butt?

Emerald: Uh, well...

Jaune: (Seething) My butt...

Emerald: Okay, I can see you're upset.

Jaune: (Growling) My butt!

Emerald: J-Just calm down for a secomd!

Jaune: MY BUTT!

Emerald: Cinder couldn't prepare me for this.

Jaune: (Lifts Emerald up and bends her over) I'm going to show you how smacking someone on the butt should really feel!

Emerald: And that's how I met your father.

Winter: Sister, do you realize what you’re doing?

Weiss: Yeah, I’m winning.

Winter: Winning? At what?

Weiss: Life.

I know Whiteknight doesn’t work in V1-3 because it flies in the face of Jaune’s and Weiss’s developments, but you have to consider that’s when it’d be funniest. They’re both at peak dumbass when they’re at Beacon.

Like, Weiss announces to everyone that they’re dating, and Jaune is just as shocked as their friends. He wakes up every morning wondering how the hell he got a girl like Weiss to fall for him because he has no idea, and frankly, Weiss doesn’t either. His pickup lines are terrible and his dad’s advice made it worse every time he used it. Nonetheless he’s thrilled! His dating experiencing is zilch but that’s not going to stop him from shipping a new type of flower to Weiss’s dorm every single day. Weiss tells him to knock it off and then delicately places it into a pitcher that’s becoming too small very quickly.

The whole time Weiss is desperately trying to keep up her reputation because she’s convinced she’ll become a laughing stock, but she won’t tolerate anyone bullying Jaune. She’s blabbing “Yeah I took pity on him, it’s probably not going to last past the month” then Cardin shit-talks Jaune and she’s like “how dare you, I will buy your parents’ house and evict your family if you don’t apologize.” Originally she wanted to keep it a secret, but the very next day Yang comments that they’re bickering like a married couple and Weiss blurts out “How did you find out?!” in the middle of the cafeteria.

And poor Pyrrha is on the sideline going “I’m… happy for you. Haha. Yeah…”

Would it still count if RWBY had 2-3 Arc kids each? Probably not...

Jaune’s mother mocks and ridicules the girls for being weak and ineffective women, no not even that! They are little girls pretending to be women! A real women would drag her son off the the bedroom and break her record on the number of children one can have, no none of them have the ovaries to be a REAL woman! Unseen by all Jaune is begging his mother to stop while the girls get mad at someone insulting their womanhood, bitch, they will show her once they utterly destroy her record.

mama arc: YOU THINK I GOT THIS ARC DICK BY BEING A GENTLE LITTLE FLOWER!? NO! I MADE HIM FUCK ME LIKE A GODDAMN ATLEASIAN WHORE! I RODE MY HUSBANDS DICK LIKE A MECHANICAL BULL! YOU CAT LADY I KNEW YOUR MOTHER. WE HAD A THREESOME!