I Hate To Argue, And Give Ruby Flashbacks, But Who Said Neo Needs To Hide In The Military Base?

Sun: You spent our rent money, on Managerie hookers?

Neptune: They're not hookers. They're massage therapists.

Qrow: *scoffs* Yeah, they'll massage your junk for money.

Glynda: There's a word for that. I think it's "hooker".

Neptune: YOURE A HOOKER!!

Councilman Arc AU: Juniper Arc had dealt with plenty of trouble caused by her eight children, but honestly, how is she meant to handle the first lady of Menagerie calling her up hoping to sneak a marriage arrangement over their children's heads?

Mama Arc had to deal with a lot of things over her life, particularly ever since she became a mother. The shenanigans of her children, worrying about her only son, especially once he all but fell into his role as councilman of Vale.

She could take solace that Salem promised her she would take care of him, that he would not be harmed.

Though she was not quite prepared for a call from Menagerie, from Kali Belladonna, no less!

“Ah, Mrs Arc, I presume,” the cat lady greeted her jovially, a twinkle in her amber eyes.

“Hello, Mrs Belladonna,” the mother of eight barely got out, blindsided and barely prepared for this. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Just call me Kali! And...well, I wanted to know if your son is single right now.”

Now the woman was alarmed. What did she want with her son?? “Yes, he is, but why do you ask?”

“I have a daughter. Single as well.”

Ah, that was a relie- wait.

“Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?”

“Maybe?” the First Lady of Menagerie replied playfully. “I do want to set the two up for a date.”

Mrs Arc was still suspicious. “For what reason?”

“Can you imagine the grandkitties?”

Oh.

Oh!

“You and I will get along ju~st fine,” the matriArc laughed.

We know Robyn is one hell of a domme, but how would she show Jaune she cared?

Robyn would hold jaune close to her. Kiss his neck and tell him he did such a good job, call him a good boy.

Are you going to invent the Mudcrab Miraculous?

I have such a dumb idea for my MLB x Skyrim AU....help

Now just flash-forward to an Arcwitch ending...

Jaune: (In detention) Um, Professor Goodwitch? I finished my assignment.

Glynda: Oh? And you won't fall asleep in my class again?

Jaune: N-No, ma'am.

Glynda: (Looks at her watch) There is still time for what's left of your detention. Would you like to leave early, or get an extra lesson in?

Jaune: Uh, actually, I had a question, since it's just us here.

Glynda: Oh?

Jaune: I-I was wondering why you were so angry today. I mean, you really, uh, cracked the whip on us with our studies.

Glynda: Hm. (Looks around, Walks towards Jaune) Do you promise not to say anything to anyone?

Jaune: Uh, yeah, I promise, Professor.

Glynda: (Standing next to Jaune) Are you certain? If I hear even the smallest whisper of what we speak of-

Jaune: I-I won't! Arc's word!

Glynda: Very well. (Sits down next to Jaune) I suppose my recent... lack of tolerance is the result of a lack of... intimacy in my personal life.

Jaune: Like dating?

Glynda: Yes, or rather what follows dating.

Jaune: O-Oh! (Blushes) Y-You mean, uh, sex, right?

Glynda: (Rolls her eyes) A relationship, Mr. Arc. I crave a kinship with another.

Jaune: Oh, s-sorry! Um, well, have you tried dating?

Glynda: ...No, Mr. Arc. I've been sitting around in my office for years because I love my job more than anything.

Jaune: Oh, well, that explains-

Glynda: Sarcasm, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Oh. Well, what about one of the other professors?

Glynda: Even if there weren't a rule against inter-office romances, I would engage any of the men here.

Jaune: Really? Not even Headmaster Ozpin?

Glynda: Let's just say he's still dealing with his ex.

Jaune: Oh. Well, what about Professor Port?

Glynda: I'm yearning, Mr. Arc, not desperate.

Jaune: Okay, then how about Professor Oobleck?

Glynda: (Makes a chugging motion) Glugglugglugglugglugglug!

Jaune: Wow... Well, what about Headmaster Ironwood? He's not a faculty member.

Glynda: No, but James isn't interested in a relationship. A shame, too, since that man is in more dire need of a distraction than any man I've ever known.

Jaune: Okay, then how about Ol-

Glynda: Jaune, I'm going to be honest with you. (Removes her glasses) You are the closest thing to a man in my life, and that is so pathetic, I could just... (Places her head on the desk and begins sobbing)

Jaune x Vernal.

You definitely love the good ol’ prep school girl falling for the dangerous bad boy from the wrong neighborhood.

Especially when the girl is a boy and the boy is a girl.

Definitely Cinder ‘Scared of Vulnerability’ Fall.

Which jaune ship is this?

All three of them, independent of each other, keep gold bullion hidden somewhere, in case Jacques either disowns them or suddenly runs the SDC into the ground.

The only reason Weiss couldn’t take her card being blocked is because her gold is under the floorboards of some piano bar in Mantle.

Whitley gets out least, but he does have a safety deposit box under a fake name.

Winter straight up buried a trunk of it in the tundra, you’d have to get to the spot, likely fighting Grimm to get to it, then carve into 4 feet of snow and permafrost to get to it.

List of Things I Suspect the Schneeblings have Perfected:

Converting card into cash so their father cannot trace their purchases 

Stock market 

Safety hazards of dust and analysis of their molecular components

Politics – each to their own

Lying while smiling 

Ruby being a hard tease, sending Jaune that stuff while Beacon’s on break and the sisters are at Patch...

ruby: im a bad girl. bad girl. i need a spanking. i need to be punished

yang: *barges in* hey ruby have you seen? is that lingerie? and IS THAT A CAMERA?

ruby: YANG GET OUT!

I might be in the minority where I hope none of the ‘main girls’ become Maidens.

Ever since it was introduced Maidenhood has screamed ‘more trouble than it’s worth’ to me. You get a bit of a power boost but you still lose fights, and everyone now wants to find or fight you. You end up a over-pressured and paranoid mess.

Penny, honestly, was the one exception they could have convinced me on, it serves her arc in a way they couldn’t do most other ways, and they handled it’s effects well, through Fria’s choice through this episode.

It also seems a bit too obvious? Nora less so because the most obvious would be Team RWBY all getting magic.

Can we leave the Winter maiden Nora theory in V7 where it died? Y'all are really hoping Penny dies just so your personal fav can get a power up.

Penny's not dying again, she's already a real girl, and her arc would make no sense if she lost the powers. She'd be running from her conflict, not resolving it.

Nora already has an arc about identity issues and giving her the responsibilities of a maiden would make that worse. Let her figure out who she is as an individual.