U Ever Have On Mutuals Whos So Deep In Another Fandom That U Know Absolutely Zero About And They Make

you don’t even get a chance to put your bag down before bakugo is yanking you into his arms, grumbling something about how damn long you kept him waiting.

“katsuki—”

“shut up,” he mumbles, already burying his face into your shoulder. “just lemme have this.”

you sigh, but it’s hard to be exasperated when he’s clinging to you like this—arms tight around your waist, fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt like you might disappear if he lets go.

“you’re so needy,” you tease, running your fingers through his hair.

he grunts. “so what?”

you laugh softly. “so nothing. it’s cute.”

his grip tightens. “ain’t cute.”

you can feel how warm his face gets, even if he’s trying to hide it against your neck. his breath is warm, sending a little shiver down your spine when he mutters, “kiss me.”

you smile, pressing a kiss to his temple.

he tenses. then pulls back just enough to glare at you. “babe. a real one.”

before you can even think about teasing him again, he’s already moving—cupping your face, leaning in, kissing you slow and deep like he’s making up for lost time.

when he finally pulls away, he stays close, forehead resting against yours. “missed you,” he murmurs, barely above a whisper.

your heart melts. “i was only gone for a few hours.”

“too long.” he huffs, dragging you toward the couch. “now shut up and cuddle me.”

ft. katsuki bakugo

summary: helping defend his kid from other kids on roblox.

“Katsuki.”

No response.

“Katsuki.”

Still nothing. Just the glow of the screen reflecting off his face, jaw clenched, eyes locked in like he was planning a full-scale battle strategy. His fingers flew across the keyboard, clicking with the precision of a trained assassin.

You folded your arms. “Katsuki Bakugo. You are a grown-ass man playing Roblox.”

He finally looked up from your kid’s gaming setup, scowling. “Yeah? And?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “And you’re a Pro Hero. You fight real villains. You’ve literally saved the world.”

“Yeah, well, right now, I’m savin’ my kid’s goddamn tycoon,” he snapped, turning back to the screen.

Your child, sitting beside him, was absolutely thriving. “GET HIS ASS, DADDY!”

“ON IT, SQUIRT,” Katsuki barked, fingers moving like he was hacking into a government database.

You sighed, watching your fully grown husband—one of the strongest heroes alive—brutalizing a bunch of kids in Roblox because some 10-year-old named BlazeNinja_44 wouldn’t stop spawn-killing your kid.

The chat was on fire.

BlazeNinja_44: BRO WHO IS THIS

ExplosiveDynamight (Katsuki): UR WORST NIGHTMARE, LITTLE ****

BlazeNinja_44: ?????

ExplosiveDynamight: U LIKE SPAWN-KILLIN’ KIDS? HOW BOUT I SPAWN-KILL UR WHOLE BLOODLINE

Your kid cackled kicking their legs back and forth watching his dad go off for him. “Dad, you sound like one of those gamers.”

“GOOD.” Katsuki cracked his knuckles like he was about to drop a finisher move. “This lil’ bastard deserves it.”

You stared in sheer disbelief as your husband—a fully licensed Pro Hero—went on an unstoppable rampage, obliterating a bunch of middle schoolers in an online Lego game.

And worst of all?

Your kid was cheering him on.

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “I can’t believe I married you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Katsuki muttered, eyes still locked on the screen. “y’know you love me.” he grins.

© sakuraszn! xoxo

this should not have gagged me as hard as it did

my favorite hc is that penelope was told by the ladies in waiting to go and stay in her room and not to come out for anyone

and she hears screams and whatnot and is like oh fuck now theyve done it, the suitors are gonna destroy the place

only to hear the screams lessen in volume and being like ? are they killing each other?

but then she hears a scream clear as day "THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE" and she's like🧍‍♀️no fuckin shot my husband is down there on a murder spree

and she immediately starts pacing back and forth like "LADIES HELP ME PREPARE I NEED TO LOOK DIVINE" and it's a full makeover sequence

and they're posing her and being like "hold on, tilt your chin up a little bit, turn to the side like 12 degrees- BOOM my lady you are serving such cunt"

and then they hear odysseus' loud ass steps going up the stairs and all the ladies scatter while penelope tries to look nonchalant like "AHEM....😳 is it you? have my prayers been answered?"

love when a mutual has a new blorbo and they keep putting posts on my dash that are completely incomprehensible. it's like watching a friend win a game show in a language I don't speak. I don't have a fucking clue what's happening to you but it's nice to see you happy

DAWG

currently thinking about bakugo “it’s not that deep” katsuki.

katsuki’s got a temper that makes him more chalant than not, but when it comes to everything else the blonde is relatively…unreactive. it’s not like he tries to be that way, he just has to be. when you’re surrounded by idiots like denki & sero on a daily basis, you eventually learn to choose your fucks & allocate them wisely.

“bakugo, class 1-B’s been hogging the hero equipment—how do we train now ?”

“it’s never that deep, tape face. just go later y’dumbass”

“bakubro, i think my situationship just blocked me—“

“literally just move on. really not that serious.”

the phrase has practically become katsuki’s signature one liner. so it’s a shock when his friends make you realize you’ve never actually heard the words from his lips.

“katsuki ? and nonchalant ? in the same sentence ? you must be joking.”

mina & sero are watching outer banks with your laptop while denki & kiri glance at each other in confusion. “you’re serious? he’s never said stuff like that to you ?”

“like ever?”

“never.” you run a brush through your hair. “though i guess i could imagine him talking to you guys that way.”

“double standards go crazy” mina mumbles. “real.”

“no, guys—all hope is not lost. it could be that y/n is really rational so he never has to say it, you feel me ?”

you scoff, but denki keeps talking, “we can test this out. just get y/n to act really dramatic and see how bakugo reacts.”

sero pauses the episode, ignoring the scowl that graces mina’s lips. “fifty bucks there really is a double standard and bakugo won’t act all nonchalant.”

“fifty bucks ? that’s half my salary!”

“not my fault you work at mcdonald’s dawg. you guys in or what ?”

kiri’s quick to strike the deal on kaminari’s behalf. denki’s about to protest when the fiery blond walks in.

“disgusting. why are you all sitting around like degenerates? not you baby.”

“what happened to ‘hello, how are you?’”

“hi ‘suki.” you purr, ignoring sero. katsuki dips his head to peck your lips, a quiet ‘hey pretty’ mumbled into your cheek.

sero snaps his fingers at the display of affection. “excuse me? in front of my obx?”

“the one you’re watching with my netflix subscription?” bakugo snaps the laptop shut and mina protests with a mouth full of popcorn. you’re about to playfully defend the duo when kirishima nudges your elbow. he cocks his head towards bakugo and you understand immediately.

“katsuki,” you tug at the hem of your boyfriend’s sleeve & look into his eyes with the most tender expression you can muster. “i’m out of lipliner.”

“okay ?”

you hear a snort and you know it’s from sero.

“there’s nothing ‘okay’ about it ‘suki. i need a new one or else i’ll literally die.”

bakugo’s brows knit in confusion. “is this your way of begging me for money?” he begins to dig at his wallet and you swat his arm away.

“beg is insane.”

“i don’t need your money.” you snap. “i need my lipliner. now”

“just order—“ “now.”

“what do you mean now? it’s almost nine pm, where the fuck are you going ?”

“nowhere. i just need it.”

“do you have a fever ?” “katsuki!”

“i need it now ‘suki,” you hug your arms around his body and place your chin on his chest. “if i don’t get it right now i’m literally gonna cry.”

your lips jut into a pout. you can tell he’s about to protest so you take his palm into your own. “it’s not that—fuck. whatever. where the hell are my keys ?”

he gently nudges you off him before grabbing the car keys off the front table, a string of grumbles leaving his lips as he sets out on the side quest regardless. he shuts the door behind him & suddenly the room buzzes back to life.

“y/n your pussy cannot be that good.”

“literally what i’m saying bro.”

“ho did you use rose quartz on him ??”

“i always knew you were a witch for real.”

“this whole interaction just piss me off.”

“i’m going home. denki and kiri, you owe me fifty bucks each.”

“EACH ?”

( bonus )

it’s nearly half an hour later & katsuki isn’t back so you’re starting to get worried. sero and the gang have already left, leaving you to deal with the growing anxiety by yourself. you finally decided to text your boyfriend only to find he’s sent you several messages already:

© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

horny kunigami rensuke brainrot - cw. 18+ mdni. chars 20+, afab!reader

thigh riding with kunigami would go insaaaane. post-wildcard too— omg he would be so fucking MEAN 🤤

whenever you're in a skirt, it's like he can see the gears in your head working out a way to get on his lap. if you're sitting across from him, crossing and uncrossing your legs, he'll roughly drag your chair forward and fucking tip you out of it until you're stumbling onto him: "this what you wanted?"

he initially thinks of it as punishment because he knows what you really want, but you love it because his thighs are just so big

you can feel how powerful he is with his thigh muscles bunching and rolling in between your legs, his hands digging into your hips and locking you in place

while he drags your clit up and down his quad, he has all the time in the world to say the filthiest shit in your ear—never fails to make you flush hot with the things he says, "always so fuckin’ needy, baby. what would have happened if I just let you squirm over there? probably soak through that cute set i just bought you"

definitely pulls out a sneer when you start to get tired, inner thigh muscles shaking, your pussy throbbing as your panties slip and slide through your soaking wet folds—

"awww does someone think they're done? spoiled little princess too tired to get herself off? that's fuckin' cute"

degrades you like he’s paid to do it but still lets you collapse into his arms and sob into his neck while he guides your hips, "see, baby?" he says, breath harsh against your ear as you shudder and whimper out his name, "i always end up having to do all the work"

a/n: this thought has been rotting my brain for days now i need to infect others!!divider from @hyuneskkami

my favorite the folk of the air quotes

(who said it + pages)

the cruel prince:

"I do not yearn to be their equal. In my heart, I yearn to best them" jude duarte, 31.

"But I am done with being weak. I am done with being good. I think I am going to be something else." jude duarte, 43.

"Because you're like a story that hasn't happened yet" locke, 101

"Instead of being afraid, I could become something to fear" jude duarte, 197

"If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse." jude duarte, 210

"But we all want stupid things. That doesn't mean we should have them" jude duarte, 219

"If you hurt me, I wouldn't cry. I would hurt you back." jude duarte, 231

"I hate how I feel around him, the irrational panic when I touch his skin" jude duarte, 262

"Prince Cardan is my prisoner" jude duarte, 267

"There are so many broken things that I don't know how to fix. But I know how to fight" jude duarte, 276

"Children can laugh all day and still cry themselves to sleep at night." jude duarte, 286

"I forgot how charming he can be — and how dangerous that is" jude duarte, 298

"Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It's disgusting, and I can't stop" cardan, 307

"You really do want me. And you hate it" jude duarte, 307

"I can be charming. I charmed you, didn't I?" "Do not expect others to share my depraved tastes"

the wicked king:

"She liked it when she was angry, too. Angry was better than scared" epilogue

"Power is much easier to acquire than it is to hold on to" Madoc, 6

"It amuses her to keep me out of trouble" cardan, 14

"I have heard that for mortals, the feeling of falling in love is very like the feeling of fear. Your hearts beats fast. Your senses are heightened. You grow light-headed, maybe even dizzy" Balekin, 25

"Your infernal majesty" jude duarte, 46

"The disturbing thing about Cardan is how well he plays the fool to disguise his own cleverness" jude duarte, 49

"For a moment, I wondered if it wasn't you shooting bolts at me." "And what made you decide it wasn't?" "They missed." 57

"Kiss me again. Kiss me until I'm sick of it." cardan, 57

"He hates you. Even if he wants you, he hates you. Maybe he hates you the more for it" jude duarte, 57

"If you're the sickness, I suppose you can't also be the cure" cardan, 57

"You're never to deny me an audience or give an order to keep me from your side." "Whysoever would I want you to leave my side?" jude & cardan, 59

"You want to know what I did to make him raise me up? I kissed him on the mouth, and then I threatened to kiss him some more if he didn't do exactly what I wanted." jude duarte, 81

"You ought not to be here tonight, little ant" cardan, 98

"I have too often been troubled by dreams of Jude. Her face features prominently in my most frequent nightmares." cardan, 103

"I hate you." He tilts my face to his. "Say it again." jude & cardan, 104

"Whatever you do to me, I can do worse to you" jude duarte, 107

"I stare at his treacherous mouth and imagine it on me" jude duarte, 107

"Tell me that you hate me." "I hate you" jude & cardan, 144

"I hate you so much that sometimes I can't think of anything else." jude, 145

"I want to tell you so many lies." cardan, 145

"I like him better than I've ever liked anyone." jude duarte, 146

"So much of winning is waiting" jude duarte, 147

"I can't help recalling him gazing up from my bed, intoxicated and disturbingly intoxicating" jude duarte, 157

"I wonder if I will ever be able to look at him again without remembering what it was like to touch him." jude duarte, 180

"It seems I have a singular taste for women who threaten me." cardan, 180

"It occurs to me that maybe desire isn't something overindulging helps. Maybe it is not unlike mithridatism; maybe I took a killing dose when I should have been poisoning myself slowly, one kiss at a time." jude duarte, 181

"I hope Cardan misses me." jude duarte, 225

"Fear is terrible, but the combination of hope and fear is worse" jude duarte, 244

"I never thought he liked me enough to save me" jude duarte, 253

"I wasn't kind, Jude. Not to many people. Not to you. I wasn't sure if I wanted you or if I wanted you gone from my sight so that I would stop feeling as I did, which made me even more unkind. But when you were gone —truly gone beneath the waves— I hated myself as I never have before." cardan, 266

"Sometimes lying is a real pleasure." jude duarte, 277

"Yes, my sweet villain, my darling god." cardan, 284

"Sweet Jude. You're my dearest punishment." cardan, 285

"You say I will be well because you fear I won't be." cardan, 288

"Glad you're up to mocking" "I hope it's the last thing about me to go." jude & cardan, 289

"Marry me. Become the queen of Elfhame." cardan, 304

"Maybe I wouldn't have to be afraid to love him." jude duarte, 306

"I will lie down. If you lie with me." cardan, 308

"I have become the Queen of Faerie" jude duarte, 308

"Revenge is sweet, but ice cream is sweeter" vivi, 321

the queen of nothing:

"All power is cursed." jude duarte, 10

"Love is stupid. All we do is break one another's hearts" Heather, 31

"Didn't you get my letters?" cardan, 68

"Maybe I believe that it's time for Elfhame to be ruled by a queen." jude duarte, 128

"She is my wife. The rightful High Queen of Elfhame. And most definitely not in exile." cardan, 147

"It was terrifying, watching you fall. I mean, you're generally terrifying, but I am unused to fearing for you." cardan, 159

"You never break." cardan, 159

"He was a symbol of everything about Elfhame that I couldn't have, everything that would never want me." jude duarte, 161

"I want you here by my side, as my queen" cardan, 163

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe he'd like to hear me scream."  "I would. And perhaps one day I will." jude & cardan, 166

"I never thought love was a game" cardan, 185

"He's so beautiful, so perfectly, horribly, inhumanely beautiful that I can't barely breathe" jude duarte, 201

"By you, I am forever undone." cardan, 203

"We have lived in our armor for so long, you and I. And now I am not sure if either of us knows how to remove it." cardan, 203

"I missed you. In the mortal world, when I thought you were my enemy, I still missed you." jude duarte, 204

"My sweet nemesis, how glad I am that you returned." cardan, 204

"It’s you I love,” he says. “I spent much of my life guarding my heart. I guarded it so well that I could behave as though I didn’t have one at all. Even now, it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing. But it is yours." cardan, 209

"I do love you. I will always love you." jude duarte, 278

"Every part of me is a delight." cardan, 282

"I love you." jude duarte, 291

"If I let myself love you, I would burn up like a match. Like the whole matchbook" jude duarte, 291

"And you do love me." "I love you." "Because I am clever and funny. You didn't mention my handsomeness." "Or your deliciousness. Although those are both good qualities" cardan & jude, 291

"I knew little else, but I always knew you." cardan, 292

how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories:

"Not a heart of stone, but a heart of fire." 31

"The odd curve of her ear was what he had noticed first." 55

"Jude, Cardan thought, hating even the shape of her name. Jude." 57

"Playing the villain was the only thing he'd ever really excelled at." 73

"There was absolutely no reason to think of Jude in that moment. she was utterly insignificant." 74

"Boys change. And so do stories." 79

"A heart of stone can still be broken." 86

"Stop telling me who I am. I am tired of your stories." 99

"I am nothing, if not dramatic." 111

"He had always been awful. Now he was just worse." 118

"And all through that night and for many nights after, he couldn't rid his thoughts of her. Not the hatred in her eyes. That he understood. That he didn't mind. It warmed him." 124

"But every night, Jude haunted him. The coils of her hair. The calluses on her fingers. An absent bite of her lip. It was too much, the way he thought about her. He knew it was too much, but he couldn't stop. It disgusted him that he couldn't stop." 124

"Remember, all you really get to control is yourself." 12

"Cardan cannot mind when he takes Jude in his arms." 132

"Why didn't you hate everyone? Everyone, all the time." "I hated you." 133

"Because stories tell a truth, if not precisely the truth." 159

"You don't think monster girls and wicked boys deserve love?" 162

"Having a heart is terrible, but you need one anyway." 165

"No one's heart has to remain stone." 166

"Surely you've heard of her, Jude Duarte." 166

"Truly, I don't know what I would do without her." 166

"You didn't hear the story I told. A shame. It featured a handsome boy with a heart of stone and a natural aptitude for villainy. Everything you could like."  "You are really terrible, you know that? I don't even understand why the things you say makes me smile." 172

"The next time you want to make a point, I beg you not to make it so dramatically.  "So long as you're begging." 173

the stolen heir:

"If I look at him too long, I want to take a bite out of him." 28

"I wonder which sister he'd glamoured. I hoped not the one who sat on the throne now, his life in her hands." 46

"The sword's name is Nightfell," he whispered. "It belongs to Jude." 49

"Some people are ridiculous. Especially when it comes to love." 69

"Let me do that," he says, taking strands of my hair in his fingers. "it's the color of primroses." 102

"Since you're in a benevolent mood, perhaps you'll also dance with me." 117

"Kissing him is profane. It gives all the horrible satisfaction of smashing a crystal goblet." 120

"Hit me again," the prince says, daring them. 146

"It's me. Now go away." "But I've only just found you. And I want to talk." "What will you give me if I do, Prince of Elfhame?" "The pleasure of my company?" 152

"Let me stay in the woods with you." 153

"I thought you didn't like me." "I can prentend, for one night." 155

"He'd acted the fool, that his enemies might believe he was one." 168

"It pleases me to see a Greenbriar with some teeth." I assume that the last is a dig at the High king, well known for leaving the fighting to his wife. 169

"It would be safer if I hated him. Since I cannot, perhaps it is a good thing that he now hates me" 171

"Maybe I'm glad that you gave me the opportunity to be my worst self." 173

"I suppose you want to believe I charmed you into kissing me?" 191

"He'll steal your heart." 198

"Do you know what I admire about you? That you never stopped being angry. It can be brave to hate. Sometimes it's like hope." 216

"It is my curse to adore cruel women." 235

"When his eyes meet mine, desire, as keen as any blade, bends the air between us. The moment slows. I want to bite his lip. To feel the heat of his skin. To slide my hands beneath his armor and trace the map of his scars." 247

"I am poison. Poison in my blood. I poison everything I touch." 279

"Pretend with me," he whispers. And then he presses his mouth to mine. 291

"My greatest weakness has always been my desire for love. It is a yawning chasm within me, and the more that I reach for it, the more easily I am tricked. I am a walking bruise, an open sore." 333

"Fear is not love, but it can appear much the same. So too, power." 349

"But I can't pretend that I don't like the sound of him screaming my name." 352

As someone very new to reading fanfiction, I cannot get over how talented people are. Y’all are out here writing literal novels, novels better than the canon material, and NOT GETTING PAID FOR IT?!

I’d throw a million kudos at each one of you if I could.

The Holly Black faerie multiverse, commissioned piece for her Stolen Heir tour earlier this year. Can you name everyone in the picture?

I think you can still grab these prints here