Wait, You're Telling Me That Plate Mail, Which People Were Relying On To Keep Themselves Alive, Is Well-designed?

Oh definitely. He worked 12-hour shifts in a factory growing up. He's made sure his personal spaces are places where he can just flop down anywhere. You could be in fully sealed power armor, but the minute you sit down on one of those sofas, you're going to be fast asleep and get the best rest you've gotten in years.

I headcannon Fulgrim to have an insanely comfortable room, with plush sofas and all that. Like if you make the mistake of sitting down in his quarters for even a few seconds you WILL fall asleep, that happened to several of his brothers repeatedly, they sat down on a sofa and emerged eight hours later like a cat from a weighted blanket.

ferrus especially hates it when that happens.

I mean, the Chaos Gods do have "good" aspects, only they're a reflection of the galaxy and currently the galaxy is a real shitty place right now.

Personally I really like A Wolf In The Garden's portrayal of their good aspects.

Woke up from a nap, and I'm rotating Not Remotely Possible In Canon™️ warhammer ideas.

What if daemons could be "normal" somehow? I just randomly thought of chaos daemons doing good things that fit them, and it's probably gonna go on my long list of shit I wanna draw.

Chaos Trying To Be Good AU

A bloodletter being a surgeon, and dedicating every drop spilled in the act of saving a life to khorne. Since he's honed his blade (the scalpel) he's known as the best surgeon in the world, making it high demand for him to do ANY surgery, no matter the risk. He has spilled more blood than any other daemon, despite not being on the battlefield often, and dedicated the skulls of organ donors with the highest respect in his own dark heart. Also GREAT advocate for patients, because he will threaten insurance companies and incompetent doctors with being a more traditional sacrifice to khorne. Using his rage to protect the health of his patients rather than destroy. He never gets stronger or any blessings from khorne due to his small but consistent sacrifices, but he does get praise from patients, and letters up until their deaths. He keeps track of the letters, and gives him a pat on the back when they stop at either a reasonable or surprisingly long number of years.

A Changer of Ways, that's a special ED teacher and tutor. Never once using the same way of education twice for each of his students. Manipulating fate to make sure his students get 100% for all their homework and tests. But he never let's his students cheat, always making sure they understand the material, even if they understand it at a different angle. All his students love and respect him more than any cultist he's worked with in the past, and he has entire tomes dedicated to his students art of him, with their pictures on one page and descriptions, his positive opinions, and various ramblings about the young artist on various other pages. When the mortal children reach adulthood, they are able to excel in whatever field they desire, even when their new teachers at college teach them differently than their beloved teacher Mr. Bird, because they merely study their own way and succeed no matter how their professors look at them. So many people say the children who become his students won't ever succeed in life for being "lazy" or physically unable to do their work. He teaches, not just for the love of the kids, but because he thinks it would be really fucking funny for these kids to succeed anyways.

A great unclean one whose a heretic, seeing past his warped view, and seeing how much mortals actually hate disease. While he doesn't understand why mortals don't want the grandfather's love, he actively finds different ways to share it, becoming an anthropologist to fully understand mankind. He runs experiments every now and again, to see what mortals truly willingly receive, and what they give into because of having no other choice. He spent years growing various types of fungus in random places to gauge and write down mortal reactions. Do they collect it to eat? Do they just kick it away in disgust, or with glee? Do they avoid it at all costs? Do they destroy it? It narrows down the species of mushrooms drastically, limiting the "love" he can show through decay, but at least the mortals are feeling the love now. He studies the reactions of humans during plagues caused by his brothers, and starts smaller epidemics of his own, being extremely controlled with how he infects his subjects. He learns while mortals technically NEED plagues, they don't want them all the time, so he starts epidemics in moderation. Making weaker brights and pox to study over the next several weeks, accidentally making mortals more resilient against plagues, which is something they WANT. While all daemons of nurgle "love" all life, this one Unclean One truly loves humanity, and loves them how they need.

A group of daemonettes who work in rehab to try and get mortals to overdo it, only to take great satisfaction in actually helping. They're the only ones who actually do the job right, and treat the people there as people. I could see them in the hospital with the bloodletter, under silent truce of "You don't fuck with MY job, or MY patients, we're fine." They relish in the torment silently whenever their patients are freaking out from withdrawals, then bask in the praise when their patients make a full recovery. They give "false comfort" to their patients when in reality its more comforting than an actual doctor or therapist, because they ironically don't demonize the addicts, since they themselves 100% have had worse.

Maybe he could also get into farming, making plagues to invasive insects so farmers don't need pesticides, or he could help food rot faster to make fertilizer. Hell, he could make his own manure, watching what he eats and doing that one attack on a field to spread it around.

Or maybe instead of working in rehab, they could clean houses for free, restoring the simple luxuries, before giving their clients excessive gifts to keep them on their feet. Food in their clean fridges, expensive shampoos and cleaning products, beautiful decorations, and whatever else their client needs. Hell, maybe these could be daemonette groups that work together, restoring the homes of ex-addicts so they have some place more than just livable to return to.

It's fun thinking of chaos daemons doing "good" on purpose, both in the sense they would never logically do that, but also the stank eyes they would probably get from more traditional daemons.

I'm going to contest that Fulgrim point. He *had* outlets to express himself freely. The thing Slaanesh exploited was his need for affirmation, his need to prove that he was the best (good enough). Slaanesh too that yearning and told him how he could, when he really just needed someone to tell him "You don't need to be the best. You *are* good enough". Also, no, he did not know the risks of falling to Slaanesh. The Emperor took quite a bit of care in making sure that nobody knew the risks.

I also want to add, it's not just the desperate who fall to chaos--its also the decadent. The billionaires (though they're probably more like trillionaires at this point) who have had things go their way their entire lives, who believe that they deserve whatever they want, and that they are above silly things such as the consequences of their own actions. (These ones tend to result in more dangerous chaos cults, too, since they have the resources to acquire things like forbidden artifacts and can force a lot more people to be sacrifices). This is, of course, still something central to the Imperium.

Chaos wins because the Imperium is fascist

It suppressed the basic human desires of the soul and gives people no time or opportunity to express making them yearn for creativity and freedom and self expression

It makes its people live miserable lives of eternal war, poverty, disease, horrible living conditions and servitude yearning for release, peace, painlessness and pleasure

It leaves its people no time to be human. To engage in art, sexuality, to express themselves, have peace, pleasure and happiness. So they yearn.

It’s oppression leaves them angry and vengeful. They yearn for revenge.

It suppresses and persecuted psychers for their natural abilities who yearn to be themselves

It bans, heavily regulates and persecuted exploration of knowledge, magic, technology and science. Anti intellectualism and thoughtless dogma are praised and revered. Anyone who thinks for themselves or learns is an enemy.

The chaos gods don’t represent these desires. These are healthy human desires that everyone should have a right to. The chaos gods feed on these desires and take advantage of the people desperate for them to trick them into servitude.

An oppressed angry man will seek out a blood god

A man in pain and suffering will seek out a god who will take the pain away and make life bearable in misery

A suppressed miserable man with a miserable dull life being told he has no other purpose then to feed the war machine and be a human meatcog will seek out a pleasure god who promises to enrich his life

A man stripped of creativity and innovation, in a world of eternal stagnation and anti intellectualism yearning for change and freedom will seek out a god of change

The lesson in warhammer isn’t that pleasure, anger, change and seeking relief are bad.

The lesson is that in a fascist system where these basic human desires are repressed and humans aren’t allowed to be human they will seek these things in anything they can, leaving room for exploiters to gain power.

The “imperium of man” is fully anti-human despite claiming to be humanity embodied. It’s citizens are living in abject misery, eternal war, stripped of their identity and self expression, suppressed, only exploited for their usefulness, bodies and labor - for the end of an ever expanding empire for its own sake. A vanity project. There is no actual benefit to humanity.

Chaos gods aren’t the representatives of “pleasure” and “anger” etc, they FEED off of the desire for these things. They feed off of angry, suffering, desperate people in pain.

If the people of the imperium were happy, chaos would be powerless, because people would be happy with their lives and their yearnings and desires wouldn’t feed them or give them a way in.

The more the imperium cracks down on its people and the more fascist it gets the more the people will yearn, feeding chaos while it grows stronger and stronger.

Warhammer is screaming in your face about how overpolicing and “peace and order thru suppression” doesn’t work and backfires, from Nostramo to the imperium itself.

If the imperium wanted to stop chaos it should stop being fascist and allow people to be human and engage in and embody their humanity and human desires in a healthy way, therefore the offers of chaos wouldn’t attract people.

The same goes for the primarchs. If Fulgrim felt like he had an outlet to be himself and express himself freely he wouldn’t have felt the need to submit to slaanesh. He knew the risks but his yearning for freedom was stroger. Same for angron.

It’s so funny seeing loyalists and imperium fans react to the rise of chaos with even more fascism and limiting human expression even more, decrying basic humanity such as sexuality and art as “slaaneshi” and therefore bad - as if this will do anything but drive people to slaanesh even more.

TL;DR: Fascism is bad and conservative ideology is a fundamentally anti human worldview and always fails. If you don’t allow people to be human in a healthy way they will find an unhealthy destructive way, but you can NEVER suppress basic human rights and desires for peace, freedom, pleasure, knowledge and justice.

A regime which fears the human soul, knowledge, freedom and individuality will never be free of chaos. An Emperor who doesn’t trust humanity and even his own children with themselves will never succeed.

If you fear that knowledge, freedom, self expression, rightful justice and prioritizing happiness and pleasure will turn people against you and ruin your “plans”, you might be the problem

Thinking about it, their argument and attitude are even more comparable to anti-woke grifters than I originally thought. They're both based in a premise that canon doesn't change, and they're both insisting that their interpretation of the lore which ignores what canon has explicitly stated is canon-compliant because of it.

I've got no problem with people ignoring lore that they think is dumb. I did that with female Custodes before they got added in. I do have a problem with people doing it and claiming that it's a valid interpretation of the lore.

The funny thing is they've basically got the opposite stance on FSM. One says they can't exist ever, because lore, one says they do exist and always have, because lore.

I think the Dark Angels would probably also have Watcher In The Dark plushies. They're just some little guys.

Warhammer and plushies

So I had this idea for some drawings I might do in the future, since my warhammer brainrot has come back.

I remember when I did a sleepy chibi Lion El'Jonhson, during a conversation with a friend, she said he needed a sleeping buddy, a lion knight plushie.

That got me thinking lately..

What if each loyalist legion has their own line of plushies for sale? Like merch!

Their main purpose is as imperium propaganda for kids, but i also thought it would be an interesting source of revenue for a chapter of space marines to have, as well as serving for comfort for the children of the Imperium since the 42nd Millenium isn't very nice all around.

However there are a few questions about the plushies that i have:

1) What should they be?

- Little space marines are the most obvious answer, but I find that a little too boring, though I think some space marine plushies probably already exist in canon

- Little animal buddies, based off ancient Terran animals and myths, but in space marine armor, while I like this idea, there's a problem with it, not all legions have a clear animal motif I can think of:

Dark Angels - Lions

White Scars - Horses (?)

Space Wolves - Wolves

Imperial Fists - ???

Blood Angels - ???

Iron Hands - ???

Ultramarines - Eagles (?)

Salamanders - Dragons

Raven Guard - Ravens/Corvids

2) What exactly should their design be based off?

Are they just little guys in space marine armor?

Are there different version of the plushie for different ranks?

Could the plushies each have a common trade amongst imperial citizens (like a farmer or factory worker) instructing children abt those vital roles in the functioning of the Imperium?

Or perhaps they could instruct the different jobs one might have within a space marine chapter, like apothetecary or librarian?

Maybe they each could symbolize a kind of world in the Imperium, like the Dark Angel's represents the Feudal Worlds, the Space Wolves' represent the Death Worlds, etc..?

I honestly find the last 2 ideas very interesting, but I do want to know what people think about this idea in general

Here's an image to examplify the kind of cute plushie vibe of thought these guys would have:

Thank you all for enjoying my rant about plushies and 40k ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

"Dear diary, a creepy giant stared at me today. I didn't like it as much as I thought I would".

had a thought at how the npcs on the ship in space marine 2 are just going about their day yapping to the superior or inferior officers and then Titus just walks up beside them, and he just... stops. listens to your entire conversation, and then just continues like ??? how would one even react to that?

Vorgh auxiliary for T'au.

So this is a little design exercise I did with my brother that I found fun and would love to hear warhammer fans thoughts:

GW decides every armies getting 2 new kits next year.

They say they aren't updating any, all of these kits are going to be entirely new per army, not models we've ever seen before (so you can't say necron pariah or an updated nightbringer, we've seen those)

What would you want them to add? To your or other armies.

AO3 has a wonderfully built tag system, in my opinion. If you don't want to see something in a search, you can literally just scroll down and edit the "exclude" tags.

Honestly the tags is one of the biggest reasons why I prefer it over FF.net. You can often get an idea of what's in a story beyond just the summary.

Being a pro censorship ao3 user is so insanely cringe. Either use the (incredibly effective and well designed) filtering system to avoid seeing the shit you don't like or stop complaining. Leave the pro censorship rhetoric to Wattpad or smth

There's two whole Space Marine legions of twinks, though. Where do you think the Emperor got the genetics he used for Fulgrim from?

pfahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THE IMPERIUM IS WOKE

I like the idea of Dante being a perpetual. I think some needless cosmic cruelty really ties together all the grimdark.