Expressing 'Anger' In Writing

Expressing 'Anger' in Writing

Jaw clenching tightly

Hands balling into fists

Veins throbbing visibly at the temple

Eyes narrowing to slits

Breathing becoming quick and shallow

Stomping or heavy footsteps

Voice rising in pitch or volume

Flushing or reddening of the face

Throwing or slamming objects

Brows knitting together in frustration

Lips pressing into a thin line

Teeth grinding audibly

Staring with a hard, fixed gaze

Sarcasm dripping from every word

Snapping responses or barking orders

More Posts from The-story-of-erin-lee and Others

10 months ago

“Oh,” They giggled, cheeks pink.

“Oh!” They gasped, hands to their mouth in horror.

“Oh,” they whined, gripping their hair in frustration.

“Oh,” they breathed, head back and lashes fluttering.

“Oh,” they mumbled, shifting awkwardly.

“Oh,” they deadpanned, arms crossed.

“Oh?” they asked, brow arched and smile bitter.

“Oh,” they chided with a smirk.

“Oh?” they asked, head tilted curiously.

“Oh!” they hissed, scrambling away.

“Oh,” they mumbled, rubbing their neck.

“Oh,” they uttered, eyes wide in awe.

“Oh,” they muttered with an ill-impressed frown.

“Oh!” They cried, throwing their arms around them.

“Oh,” they goaded, smiling mischievously.

“Oh,” they taunted, skipping backwards.

“Oh,” they snarked, hands on their hips.

“Oh,” they breathed, putting it all together.

“Oh,” they said softly, hugging themselves.

“Oh,” they whispered, holding back tears.

“Oh!” they gasped, ducking out of the way.

“Oh,” they uttered, and smacked their forehead.

“Oh,” they laughed, brows wiggling.

“Oh,” they tittered, batting their lashes.

“Oh,” they hissed, gritting their teeth.

"Oh."

Tag your dialogue.

10 months ago

How to Make Your Writing Less Stiff Part 3

Crazy how one impulsive post has quickly outshined every other post I have made on this blog. Anyway here’s more to consider. Once again, I am recirculating tried-and-true writing advice that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice and isn’t always applicable when the narrative demands otherwise.

Part 1

Part 2

1. Eliminating to-be verbs (passive voice)

Am/is/are/was/were are another type of filler that doesn’t add anything to your sentences.

There were fireworks in the sky tonight. /// Fireworks glittered in the sky tonight.

My cat was chirping at the lights on the ceiling. /// My cat chirped at the lights on the ceiling.

She was standing /// She stood

He was running /// He ran

Also applicable in present tense, of which I’ve been stuck writing lately.

There are two fish-net goals on either end of the improvised field. /// Two fish-net goals mark either end of the improvised field.

For once, it’s a cloudless night. /// For once, the stars shine clear.

Sometimes the sentence needs a little finagling to remove the bad verb and sometimes you can let a couple remain if it sounds better with the cadence or syntax. Generally, they’re not necessary and you won’t realize how strange it looks until you go back and delete them (it also helps shave off your word count).

Sometimes the to-be verb is necessary. You're writing in past-tense and must convey that.

He was running out of time does not have the same meaning as He ran out of time, and are not interchangeable. You'd have to change the entire sentence to something probably a lot wordier to escape the 'was'. To-be verbs are not the end of the world.

2. Putting character descriptors in the wrong place

I made a post already about motivated exposition, specifically about character descriptions and the mirror trope, saying character details in the wrong place can look odd and screw with the flow of the paragraph, especially if you throw in too many.

She ties her long, curly, brown tresses up in a messy bun. /// She ties her curls up in a messy brown bun. (bonus alliteration too)

Generally, I see this most often with hair, a terrible rule of threes. Eyes less so, but eyes have their own issue. Eye color gets repeated at an exhausting frequency. Whatever you have in your manuscript, you could probably delete 30-40% of the reminders that the love interest has baby blues and readers would be happy, especially if you use the same metaphor over and over again, like gemstones.

He rolled his bright, emerald eyes. /// He rolled his eyes, a vibrant green in the lamplight.

To me, one reads like you want to get the character description out as fast as possible, so the hand of the author comes in to wave and stop the story to give you the details. Fixing it, my way or another way, stands out less as exposition, which is what character descriptions boil down to—something the audience needs to know to appreciate and/or understand the story.

3. Lacking flow between sentences

Much like sentences that are all about the same length with little variety in syntax, sentences that follow each other like a grocery list or instruction manual instead of a proper narrative are difficult to find gripping.

Jack gets out a stock pot from the cupboard. He fills it with the tap and sets it on the stove. Then, he grabs russet potatoes and butter from the fridge. He leaves the butter out to soften, and sets the pot to boil. He then adds salt to the water.

From the cupboard, Jack drags a hefty stockpot. He fills it with the tap, adds salt to taste, and sets it on the stove.

Russet potatoes or yukon gold? Jack drums his fingers on the fridge door in thought. Russet—that’s what the recipe calls for. He tosses the bag on the counter and the butter beside it to soften.

This is just one version of a possible edit to the first paragraph, not the end-all, be-all perfect reconstruction. It’s not just about having transitions, like ‘then’, it’s about how one sentence flows into the next, and you can accomplish better flow in many different ways.

4. Getting too specific with movement.

I don’t see this super often, but when it happens, it tends to be pretty bad. I think it happens because writers feel the need to overcompensate and over-clarify on what’s happening. Remember: The more specific you get, the more your readers are going to wonder what’s so important about these details. This is fiction, so every detail matters.

A ridiculous example:

Jack walks over to his closet. He kneels down at the shoe rack and tugs his running shoes free. He walks back to his desk chair, sits down, and ties the laces.

Unless tying his shoes is a monumental achievement for this character, all readers would need is:

Jack shoves on his running shoes.

*quick note: Do not add "down" after the following: Kneels, stoops, crouches, squats. The "down" is already implied in the verb.

This also happens with multiple movements in succession.

Beth enters the room and steps on her shoelace, nearly causing her to trip. She kneels and ties her shoes. She stands upright and keeps moving.

Or

Beth walks in and nearly trips over her shoelace. She sighs, reties it, and keeps moving.

Even then, unless Beth is a chronically clumsy character or this near-trip is a side effect of her being late or tired (i.e. meaningful), tripping over a shoelace is kind of boring if it does nothing for her character. Miles Morales’ untied shoelaces are thematically part of his story.

Sometimes, over-describing a character’s movement is meant to show how nervous they are—overthinking everything they’re doing, second-guessing themselves ad nauseam. Or they’re autistic coded and this is how this character normally thinks as deeply methodical. Or, you’re trying to emphasize some mundanity about their life and doing it on purpose.

If you’re not writing something where the extra details service the character or the story at large, consider trimming it.

These are *suggestions* and writing is highly subjective. Hope this helps!

10 months ago

Ideas to Show Secret Pining

"Why don't you join me?"

"I'll give you a ride, don't worry."

*does something they don't like* "What? I like it."

*immense staring at every chance they get*

*thinking of their crush while listening to songs*

"You said you liked it so I brought it for you."

*finds ways to spend more time with them*

*friendly bullying intensifies*

"I'm looking forward to seeing you there."

"Are you gonna be there?"

"How about we sneak off, just you and me?"

"Why don't I cook for them? What's their favourite dish again?"

*aggressive google searches about how to propose to your crush*

"I'll join those dance lessons, maybe then she'll notice me."

*hopeless around them*

*failed flirting attempts*

*increased compliments*

"My problem is that I like them a little too much for my sanity."

*gets jealous* "So, are you seeing them or something?"

"Are you okay?" // "Completely okay!" (definitely not okay)

*tries to sabotage their crush's date*

*gets into trouble so they can be scolded by their crush*

"I want you to come with me, please?"

-ashlee

9 years ago

Chapter 1

This wan’t how I intended to re-enter the public eye, although frankly I hadn’t intended to go public at all after the operation was shut down. Sure, I had fantasized about it, but I’d never really wanted the attention to begin with, and the politics involved were always a mess. I stood in the aisle, leaning against the armrest of a middle-aged woman’s seat, breathing heavily. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, warning me about the other passengers watching me. Something warm and wet trickled off my lip and dripped onto the floor. I swiped at my nose with the back of my hand, unsurprised to see blood. I had pushed myself too far, used up more energy in two minutes than I had in the past five years. But it was flowing back to me, and it felt good.

The plane shuddered and lurched as we were towed off the landing strip and toward the gate. Pushing myself upright, I stumbled back to my seat. The eyes of the other passengers followed me, and I could see a mix of relief, confusion, and fear on their faces as I passed. The oxygen masks had deployed during the chaos, and they swung in unison, like choreographed dancers. A toddler was wailing over the hum of the airplane systems, and the lights of the airstrip flickered in through the windows as the plane jostled towards the gate.

When I reached my seat I rummaged through the seat back pocket, pulling out an ancient mp3 player, headphones, and my wallet. I stuffed them into my jeans and pulled my backpack out from under the seat in front of mine. The empty plastic water bottle in the side pouch got caught on something and flew spinning up the aisle. The cockpit door banged open, making me jump, and the pilot barreled out. His eyes met mine and he strode down the aisle, disbelief and anger staining his cheeks. He opened his mouth to scream at me, but I’d already had enough of him.

“No,” I held up my hand to stop him and his mouth snapped closed and he stopped halfway down the aisle. He turned even redder, furious, but unable to move or speak. The co-pilot poked his head out after the pilot, and looked nervously at me. “Good. We’re all here.” I straightened up. “Attention everyone, I need everyone’s attention please.” I knew everyone was already looking at me, but I needed the extra few seconds to steady my nerves. “The feds are going to come talk to you.” I added more power to my voice, pulling my audience in. “You will tell them everything you saw. You will tell them the truth, but you may not tell anyone else. After tonight, you will only remember that there was a dangerous malfunction, and this brave pilot,” I gestured to the copilot, still standing by the cockpit door, “managed to get us all here in one piece. He’s a real hero, and you are all very grateful to him. You will forget my face, forget that I was on this flight, and forget what I did.” I zipped up my jacket and swung my backpack onto my shoulder.

The other passengers and staff looked glassy-eyed, and some of them shook their heads, as they fought my orders. I took a deep breath, pulling more power from my core. It surged through my body, like electricity, crackling over my nose and stopping the flow of blood. I stepped into the air and willed myself up and away, phasing through the ceiling of the small plane. I hovered there, in the freezing January air, breathing puffy white clouds. Swirling my power around me in a protective cocoon, I felt it shielding me from the wind and obscuring me from view. I pulled out my phone, powered it on, and dialed a familiar number.

“Smith.”

“Hey, there was an incident. Everyone’s ok, but the Department is going to want to come handle this one.”

“Erin? Erin, you need to come in. The director has questions.”

“The director wants to put me in a cage. You know I can’t come back, not after what I did.”

“Let’s talk about this.”

“I know you have to try to get me back, but please just listen. Someone came after me. Someone who knows about the project. I’m the last loose end, and someone is trying to clean me up. We both know that won’t work, but I can’t let other people get hurt in the crossfire, not again.” I glanced at the emergency crews swarming the plane, illuminated by blinding spot lights.

“Erin, listen…”

“Vegas airport. You have until midnight before they lose their memories, although I’m not sure how good of a job I did, so you might do some cursory exit interviews. Don’t bother with the phone, I’ll leave it here for you.”

“Erin, I’m so sorry about what happened. You were kids. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I know.” I knew this was a a ploy to keep me on the line, but there was real remorse behind those words, pain even. I snapped the phone closed. It was a cheap plastic flip phone that I only carried for emergencies. I let it go and it floated beside me, components disassembling themselves and dropping to the ground. I snapped the chips into several pieces, and the wind carried them off. Might as well make it a challenge for them. I pulled out my wallet, removing the driver’s license I used to buy my plane ticket and dropping it to fly away with the bits of my phone. I had liked being Sam Davis, but they would cross check the passenger list with the people who got off the plane as well as the security footage at the airport. It was time to pay a visit to Luca. I sucked in a deep breath of the cold night air, and vanished.


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10 months ago

How To Plan A Book Series: Ultimate Guide

Writing a book series can be an incredibly rewarding experience for authors, but it also requires careful planning and execution. A well-crafted book series can captivate readers, build a loyal fan base, and provide a steady stream of income for writers. However, planning a successful book series is no easy feat.

It demands a deep understanding of world-building, character development, and plot progression. In this ultimate guide, I'll help you explore the essential steps to help you plan a compelling and cohesive book series that will keep your readers hooked from start to finish.

Develop a Compelling Premise The foundation of any successful book series is a strong premise. Your premise should be unique, engaging, and have the potential to sustain multiple books. Consider exploring a complex world, a captivating concept, or a character with a rich backstory that can evolve over the course of several books. Ask yourself: What makes your premise stand out? What will keep readers invested in the story for multiple installments?

Create a Detailed Outline Before you dive into writing, it's crucial to create a detailed outline for your entire book series. This outline should include the overarching plot, major story arcs, character development, and key events for each book. Having a solid outline will help you maintain consistency, avoid plot holes, and ensure that each book contributes to the overall narrative. Don't be afraid to make adjustments as you write, but having a roadmap will keep you on track.

World-Building: Crafting a Vivid and Consistent Universe One of the hallmarks of a successful book series is a richly developed and immersive world. Whether you're creating a fantasy realm, a futuristic society, or a contemporary setting, pay close attention to world-building. Establish the rules, customs, histories, and geography of your fictional world. Consistency is key, so ensure that the details align across all books in the series. Consider creating a "bible" or a comprehensive guide that outlines the intricacies of your world, making it easier to maintain continuity.

Develop Compelling Characters Great characters are the heart and soul of any book series. Your protagonists, antagonists, and supporting characters should be well-rounded, multi-dimensional, and undergo significant growth and transformation throughout the series. Craft backstories, motivations, flaws, and strengths for each character, and ensure that their actions and decisions drive the plot forward. Remember, character development is an ongoing process, so be prepared to explore new facets of your characters as the series progresses.

Establish Recurring Themes and Motifs Themes and motifs are powerful tools that can add depth and resonance to your book series. Identify the central themes you want to explore, such as love, redemption, power, or identity. Weave these themes throughout the series, allowing them to evolve and deepen with each installment. Motifs, like recurring symbols or imagery, can also create a sense of cohesion and add layers of meaning to your narrative.

Plan for Cliffhangers and Resolutions One of the key strategies for keeping readers engaged in a book series is the strategic use of cliffhangers and resolutions. Cliffhangers create anticipation and leave readers craving for the next installment. However, be cautious not to overuse this technique, as it can become frustrating for readers. Balance cliffhangers with satisfying resolutions that tie up loose ends and provide a sense of closure, while still leaving room for the story to continue.

Consider Pacing and Narrative Structure Pacing and narrative structure are crucial elements to consider when planning a book series. Each book should have its own narrative arc, with a beginning, middle, and end, while also contributing to the overall story progression. Vary the pacing between books to maintain reader interest, alternating between action-packed and slower, more introspective sections. Experiment with different narrative structures, such as multiple perspectives, non-linear timelines, or frame narratives, to keep the series fresh and engaging.

Manage Continuity and Consistency As your book series grows, maintaining continuity and consistency becomes increasingly important. Keep detailed records of character descriptions, plot points, world-building elements, and timelines. Regularly refer back to these notes to ensure that you're not introducing contradictions or inconsistencies. Consider creating a series bible or a wiki to help you keep track of all the moving parts.

Plan for Character Growth and Evolution In a book series, characters should undergo significant growth and evolution. Plan for character arcs that span multiple books, allowing your protagonists and supporting characters to face challenges, make difficult choices, and emerge as changed individuals. This character development will not only add depth to your narrative but also keep readers invested in the journey of your characters.

Anticipate and Address Potential Plot Holes As your book series expands, the potential for plot holes and inconsistencies increases. Be vigilant in identifying and addressing these issues during the planning stage. Regularly review your outline and notes, looking for any logical gaps or contradictions. Enlist the help of beta readers or critique partners to provide fresh perspectives and catch any potential plot holes you may have missed.

Consider the Overarching Story Arc While each book in your series should have its own narrative arc, it's essential to plan for an overarching story arc that spans the entire series. This overarching arc should tie together the individual books, building towards a climactic conclusion that resolves the central conflict or mystery. Ensure that each book contributes to this larger narrative, advancing the plot and raising the stakes for the characters.

Plan for Marketing and Promotion Finally, as you plan your book series, don't overlook the importance of marketing and promotion. Develop a strategy for building buzz and engaging with your audience throughout the release of each book. Leverage social media, author events, book tours, and other promotional opportunities to keep your readers excited and invested in your series.

Remember, writing a book series is a marathon, not a sprint, so be prepared to invest time, effort, and dedication into crafting a truly remarkable literary journey. Hope this helped!

Happy Writing - Rin T.

Hey fellow writers! I'm super excited to share that I've just launched a Tumblr community. I'm inviting all of you to join my community. All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and I'll personally send you an invitation to join the Write Right Society on Tumblr! Can't wait to see your posts!

How To Plan A Book Series: Ultimate Guide
Membership Form for Write Right Society  (Fill-Out Form!)
Google Docs
Welcome to Write Right Society! At Write Right Society, we are dedicated to nurturing the creative spirit and honing the skills of writers a
The Writer's Scene Workbook
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Calling all aspiring storytellers with hearts full of whimsy! Get ready to sprinkle a touch of enchantment into your scenes with my Scene Wo
10 months ago

The Mini Guide to Crafting Compelling Royal Characters for Fiction Writers

Creating royal characters can be both exciting and challenging. These regal figures often play pivotal roles in stories, capturing readers' imaginations with their power, privilege, and the weight of responsibility they carry. Whether you're writing historical fiction, fantasy, or contemporary novels featuring monarchs, this comprehensive (mini) guide will help you develop authentic, multi-dimensional royal characters that will resonate with your readers.

Understanding the Basics of Royalty

Before diving into character creation, it's essential to have a solid grasp of what royalty entails. Royalty typically refers to members of a ruling family, including kings, queens, princes, princesses, and other nobles within a monarchical system. These individuals are often born into their roles, though some may ascend to power through marriage or other means.

Key aspects to consider:

Hierarchy and succession

Royal duties and responsibilities

Protocol and etiquette

The concept of divine right (in some cultures)

The relationship between royalty and their subjects

Remember, while these elements are common in many royal systems, you have the creative freedom to adapt or reimagine them for your fictional world.

Developing Your Royal Character's Background

Every character, royal or not, needs a rich backstory. For royal characters, this background is particularly crucial as it shapes their worldview, values, and decision-making processes.

Consider the following:

a) Lineage: What is your character's family history? Are they from a long-standing dynasty or a newly established royal house?

b) Upbringing: How were they raised? Were they groomed for leadership from birth, or did they have a more sheltered upbringing?

c) Education: What kind of education did they receive? Was it formal, focusing on statecraft and diplomacy, or more well-rounded?

d) Relationships: How do they relate to their family members, courtiers, and subjects?

e) Personal experiences: What significant events have shaped their character and outlook on life?

Crafting a Unique Personality

Avoid the trap of creating one-dimensional royal stereotypes. Your character should be as complex and nuanced as any other well-developed protagonist or antagonist.

Consider these aspects:

a) Strengths and weaknesses: What are your character's admirable qualities? What flaws do they struggle with?

b) Motivations: What drives them? Is it a sense of duty, personal ambition, or something else entirely?

c) Internal conflicts: What personal struggles do they face? How do these conflicts affect their rule and relationships?

d) Hobbies and interests: What passions do they pursue outside of their royal duties?

e) Sense of humor: How do they express humor, if at all? Is it dry wit, sarcasm, or something else?

Balancing Power and Vulnerability

One of the most intriguing aspects of royal characters is the juxtaposition between their immense power and their human vulnerabilities. This balance can create compelling internal and external conflicts for your character.

Consider:

The weight of responsibility and its impact on their personal life

The isolation that often comes with a royal position

The constant scrutiny they face from the public and court

The struggle between personal desires and duty to the crown

Creating a Believable Royal World

Your royal character doesn't exist in a vacuum (I hope not). They're part of a larger royal ecosystem that includes family members, advisors, courtiers, and subjects. Developing this world adds depth and authenticity to your story.

Key elements to consider:

Court dynamics and politics

Relationships with other noble houses or kingdoms

The role of advisors and how they influence decisions

Traditions and customs specific to your royal setting

The economic and social structure of the kingdom

Addressing the Challenges of Royal Life

Royal characters face unique challenges that can drive your plot and character development. Some common themes include:

a) Succession disputes b) Balancing personal happiness with duty c) Navigating political alliances and conflicts d) Managing public opinion and maintaining legitimacy e) Dealing with threats to their rule or life

Use these challenges to create tension and drive your story forward while revealing more about your character's personality and values.

The Impact of Historical Context

If you're writing historical fiction or a fantasy inspired by real-world monarchies, it's crucial to consider the historical context. Research the time period and culture you're drawing from to ensure authenticity in your character's behavior, beliefs, and challenges.

Key areas to research:

Social norms and expectations of the time

Political systems and power structures

Technology and its impact on governance

Religious beliefs and their influence on royalty

Gender roles and how they affect royal duties and succession

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

When creating royal characters, be mindful of these common mistakes:

a) Making them too perfect or too villainous b) Ignoring the realities of royal life (e.g., lack of privacy, constant duties) c) Overlooking the impact of their decisions on their subjects d) Failing to show growth or change over the course of the story e) Relying too heavily on stereotypes or clichés

Incorporating Royal Etiquette and Protocol

Royal characters often adhere to strict codes of conduct and protocol. While you don't need to become an expert in royal etiquette, incorporating some of these elements can add authenticity to your story:

Forms of address (Your Majesty, Your Highness, etc.)

Court ceremonies and rituals

Dress codes and regalia

Rules of precedence in social situations

Diplomatic protocols when interacting with other royals or dignitaries

Exploring Different Types of Royal Characters

Remember that not all royal characters need to be ruling monarchs. Consider exploring other royal roles, such as:

The rebel prince or princess who rejects their royal duties

The reluctant heir thrust into power unexpectedly

The exiled royal fighting to reclaim their throne

The royal spouse adapting to life in the palace

The illegitimate child discovering their royal heritage

Each of these archetypes offers unique storytelling opportunities and challenges for character development.

Balancing Historical Accuracy and Creative License

If you're writing historical fiction featuring real royalty, you'll need to strike a balance between historical accuracy and creative interpretation. While it's important to respect known facts and timelines, you also have the freedom to explore the inner lives and motivations of these historical figures.

Tips for balancing accuracy and creativity:

Thoroughly research the historical figure and their time period

Clearly differentiate between historical fact and fictional interpretation

Use author's notes to explain any significant departures from known history

Focus on filling in the gaps in the historical record rather than contradicting established facts

Developing Royal Character Arcs

Like any well-rounded character, your royal protagonist should undergo growth and change throughout your story. Consider how their experiences might challenge their beliefs, alter their perspective, or force them to confront their flaws.

Possible character arcs for royal characters:

From naive idealist to pragmatic ruler

From reluctant heir to confident leader

From isolated monarch to connected leader who understands their subjects

From power-hungry tyrant to benevolent ruler (or vice versa)

Remember, character growth doesn't always have to be positive. Sometimes, the most compelling stories involve characters who face moral decline or tragic falls from grace.

Remember, while the trappings of royalty may be grand, at their core, your royal characters are still human. They love, fear, hope, and struggle like anyone else. It's this humanity, set against the backdrop of power and responsibility, that makes royal characters so fascinating to read and write about.

Happy writing, - Rin T

Hey fellow writers! I'm super excited to share that I've just launched a Tumblr community. I'm inviting all of you to join my community. All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and I'll personally send you an invitation to join the Write Right Society on Tumblr! Can't wait to see your posts!

The Mini Guide To Crafting Compelling Royal Characters For Fiction Writers
Membership Form for Write Right Society  (Fill-Out Form!)
Google Docs
Welcome to Write Right Society! At Write Right Society, we are dedicated to nurturing the creative spirit and honing the skills of writers a
The Writer's Scene Workbook
Gumroad
Calling all aspiring storytellers with hearts full of whimsy! Get ready to sprinkle a touch of enchantment into your scenes with my Scene Wo
10 months ago
Cut Adjectives From Your Draft

Cut Adjectives From Your Draft

Choosing a noun well will allow you to cut adjectives. This tightens your sentences and clarifies the meaning:

a young tree -> sapling

a single-storey house -> a bungalow

a young female horse -> a filly

her long thick hair -> her mane

a prudish person -> a prude.

his bald scalp -> his pate

an unpleasant smell -> a stench

a small child -> a toddler

a brown-haired woman -> a brunette

Of course, the choice of noun depends on context, but if you can use one word, why use two?

Writing style. If you have a lush writing style, you would use more adjectives compared to a terse one. However, more than three adjectives in a sentence will slow down the story.

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10 months ago

Showing 'Sadness' in Writing

Eyes brimming with unshed tears

Shoulders drooping, as if bearing a heavy weight

A quiet, almost inaudible sigh

A far-off gaze, eyes not focusing on anything specific

A faint tremor in the voice when speaking

Slow, shuffling steps

Turning away to hide one's face

Forcing a smile that doesn't reach the eyes

A hand absently tracing an old scar or memento

Slumping against a wall or sinking into a chair

10 months ago

small flaws to give to characters

These aren’t anything super game breaking that turns the character into a psychopath, but they can foreshadow bigger, more important issues down the line.

—always making the conversation about themselves

—lying about something incredibly stupid but they refuse to back down from

—expecting others to pay for them at every store, restaurant or hotel

—subtle jabs at other people that they always respond with ‘I wasn’t SAYING it was bad! YOU’RE the one making ME look bad!’ (Watch one of those ‘alpha male vs modern feminist’ videos or clips for inspiration if you are brave enough)

—messy, except this time they have other people in their space (like a dorm, shared apartment, or any kind of shared living space) so their messiness makes everyone VERY upset

—refusing to understand or learn another friend/teammate/partners culture or background to even slightly understand then

—loud obnoxious voiced people who physically can NOT make a subtle entrance or just simply exist in a room without yelling or eating very loudly

—asks for permission to do absolutely anything even with people who are on the same or even a lower level than they are

—doesn’t listen to music with headphones on in a crowded space so EVERYONE has to listen to them

God I hope the last one isn’t just a me-thing because I actively want to strangle anyone who does that

10 months ago

I don’t post writing tips myself very much anymore, but a very easy manuscript polishing tip is to do a search for the -ness suffix, and then replace the word with a more appropriate noun.

Quickness? Switch it to “speed.”

Tenseness? Try “tension.”

Easiness? I think you mean “ease.”

Even words like sadness can sometimes be traded for something more precise. Like what kind of sadness? Would disappointment be better? Melancholy? Even just “emotion,” and then add in another detail that helps the reader understand they’re sad?

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the-story-of-erin-lee - The Story of Erin Lee
The Story of Erin Lee

Read the disclaimer. This is a work in progress, and I will post updates as I get them. Thanks for reading!

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