"You Don't Want To Be A Vampire, You'd Have To Eat People!"

We All Got That Friend Who Think They Can Outwit The Gods And Evade Their Fate

Why do engineers mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

these new tumblr features are getting out of hand…..

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

Please I need to see muzzled Alecto oh my god, I’m never gonna stop thinking about your tags for her and Harrow

enjoy :3

the weather is getting hot here so fair warning that i’m entering my insufferable hater season ✌️ peace and love tho

rb if ur gay

Reblog this for maximum spread. No one can escape the Furry-fication.

I'll answer for both myself and Atmos, I'm just bored.

“Homestuck Isn’t Dead” Tag

I wanted to make one, so send a number or reblog to get one!

1. Do you have a chum handle? What does it mean?

2. Is your username homestuck related/have you had one hs related?

3. Do you call your s/o a matesprit?

4. Do you call your best friend your moirail?

5. Are you “kin” with any characters or commonly called a character?

6. God Tier?

7. Do you make HS fanart?

8. Do you make hs fanfiction?

9. Do you roleplay homestuck? where and how often?

10. Do you cosplay homestuck characters? Who and where?

11. Are you apart of ask blogs?

12. Are you in any homestuck groups?

13. Favorite character?

14. Least favorite character?

15. OTP?

16. NOTP?

17. BROTP?

18. Do you want homestuck to just die already?

19. Are you following up with hiveswap? Do you play? Watch YT videos?

20. Tell us how homestuck has effected you in real life?

21. Have you met anyone through homestuck?

22. Have you left the fandom before?

23. How many times have you read through it?

24. Did you ever skip intermissions/dialog/animations?

25. Opinions on the fandom?

26. Opinions on the comic?

27. Do you favor the trolls, humans, or carapaces?

28. Favorite moment of all of homestuck?

29. Least favorite moment of all of homestuck?

30. Tell us a homestuck based story.

31. How homestuck related is your blog?