The Only Two Ships Everyone Agrees On

MC: when i asked you to bring me something back from the beach, i meant like a conch shell

Mammon, struggling to hold a seagull: well you didn’t fucking say that

Venti: apparently the “bad vibes” ive been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

no one:

Sole Survivor:

YOUR THOUGHTS?

Childe: zhongli and i have been fighting lately

Childe: how do you deal with arguments between you and ningguang?

Beidou: me and my bitch don’t argue

Beidou: she tells me to shut up and i do

Leviathan: just found out that people eat fish, what the actual fuck, what the fuck you guys

Leviathan: actually on second thought that’s kinda hot

Satan: please give it a third thought

Xiao: thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that i may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you

Venti: do you practice this shit or do you come up with it on the spot

Sean: I’m biracial actually.

Finn: That’s wassup love who you love, man.

Kaeya: you know what would be sexy?

Kaeya: eating food off each other

Albedo: you did not do the dishes

Kaeya: i did not

Xingqiu: chongyun isn’t messaging me back... i hope i haven’t done something to upset him

Chongyun, on twitter: how do u spell gorjus

Xiangling: it’s gorojeous 💞

Chongyun: thank u

Klee: do you still have that giant astronomy coloring book back at your house?

Mona: it’s not a coloring book

Klee: uh oh