Leviathan: Once Mammon Walked Into My Room And Started Sniffing The Air And Went “oh I Smell A Quarter”

Chongyun: we have to be careful, someone here is possessed by the spirit of an owl

Xingqiu: who

Chongyun: that’s the thing we don’t-

Chongyun:

9S: *hacker voice* I’m in

2B: you don’t have to say ‘hacker voice’ every time

Paimon: could you be any more annoying

Venti: easily

Kaeya: jesus, diluc! what would you have told mom if i’d died?!

Diluc: hey mom, i have good news and bad news. good news, we’ve finally got room for that 🎵jacuzzi you wanted🎵

Hawke: Okay, Corypheus is right through there.

Isabela: And what’s your escape plan, exactly?

Hawke: It’s... still a work in progress.

Isabela: Can I have your kinky magic book collection if you die?

Hawke: Obviously. You didn’t need to ask that, Isabela.

DEACON AND NICK SHOULDVE BEEN ROMANCEABLE I KNOW ITS BEEN YEARS BUT IM STILL UPSET

Diavolo: it’s understandable, no one is judging you. lucifer is strong and mysterious, but sort of compact and well muscled

Barbatos: i’m not in love with lucifer but i’m starting to think you might be

MC: so you wanna head to my room?

Leviathan: sure...

MC: you have protection?

Leviathan: w-why what’s in there?

Childe: i think i might’ve ate Xiao’s almond tofu

Childe: how long do you think i have to live?

Zhongli: five

Childe: five??? five what???

Zhongli: four

Beidou: a woman’s place is on the battlefield

Childe: oh so you think women should die

Beidou: funny how you immediately assumed the women would lose the battle…… misogynistic much?

Childe: you’re right i will reflect on my behavior. sorry women