Diavolo: It’s Understandable, No One Is Judging You. Lucifer Is Strong And Mysterious, But Sort Of

Bennett: <3

Razor: how did you type that

Bennett: oh it’s < + 3

Razor: nevermind i got it

Razor: Ɛ>

Bennett: what the fuck

The Council: Shepard.

Shepard: Am I in trouble?

The Council: Take a guess.

Shepard: No?

The Council: Take another guess.

Fatui gift exchange

Scaramouche: okay so if anyone draws their own name, we’ll all draw again

Dottore: cool

Signora: okay

Childe: what if we draw someone else’s name?

Dottore: that’s fine right? yeah

Scaramouche: that’s good, that’s what we want

Signora: what if we pick someone that we don’t like?

Childe: it’s just the four of us. do you dislike one of the four of us?

Signora: no no no. *nods her head and points to childe*

Childe: …what if we pick someone who we don’t know?

Signora: yeah what if we get a slip and it’s like Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat?

Scaramouche: that will not happen

Dottore: how can you be sure though?

Signora: i like Albedo well enough i just would have no idea what to get him for a gift

Scaramouche: okay so there’s only four names and it’s our four names so everyone just pick one and-

Signora: i’m worried that if i get Albedo the wrong thing, he’ll think that i’m a loser

Childe: aw really? you’re worried about that?

Signora: i’m serious i’m nervous about it

Childe: i’m sure you’ll get him the perfect thing

Signora: thanks that means a lot

Childe: i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t mean it

Scaramouche: does everyone have a slip? did anyone pick themself?

Signora: i got Childe

Scaramouche: no don’t-

Childe: i got Dottore

Dottore: guys! it’s suppose to be secret

Scaramouche: thank you!

Dottore: you’re not suppose to look at the name

Childe: ohhh

Scaramouche: well you’re allowed to- you can read your own slip

Dottore: oh. okay i got Scaramouche

Scaramouche: dude

Signora: i wish i would’ve gotten Scaramouche

Childe: what the hell?!

Signora: i don’t know if this is coming together

Dottore: i’m probably just going to get a gift for Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat to be safe

Childe: since my slip says Dottore does that mean he’s the one who helps me figure out what to get Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat?

Adrien: I know you’re Ladybug, Marinette

Marinette, internally: play dumb

Marinette: who’s Marinette

Marinette, internally: not that dumb!

Varric: As your best friend-

Hawke: Fenris is my best friend

Varric:

As your best friend

Kaeya: you know what would be sexy?

Kaeya: eating food off each other

Albedo: you did not do the dishes

Kaeya: i did not

Belphegor: i just got jumped

Mammon: why??? what’d you do???

Belphegor: oh i don’t know let me just go ask them. i swear you ask the dumbest fucking questions

literally everyone: we don’t talk about bruno!

the warm family, who has never been able to keep a secret: guess what this rat man did

Deacon: if you want to know who your real friends are, get pregnant, those who stick by you are the real ones

Curie: I feel as though there are steps you could take beforehand

the shogi fans ending up being a part of a massive rebellion because the ronin won like three games was genuinely one of the funniest parts of book 5