Asmodeus: This Is Literally The Most Boring Party Ive Ever Been To. Can We Leave Already?

Adrien: *gets a paper cut*

Marinette, under her breath: hasn’t he been through enough

MC: You can address me as Eagle One.

MC: Barnaby, code name, Been There, Done That.

MC: Talbott is Currently Doing That.

MC: Bill is It Happened Once In A Dream.

MC: Penny, code name, If I Had To Pick A Girl.

MC: Rowan is...

MC: Eagle Two.

Rowan: Oh, thank god.

Marinette: Who broke it?

Marinette: I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Adrien: I did. I broke it.

Marinette: No you didn’t. Alix?

Alix: Don’t look at me, look at Nathaniel.

Nathaniel: What? I didn’t break it.

Alix: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Nathaniel: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken

Alya: If it matters, and it probably doesn’t, Chloe was the last person to use it.

Chloe: Liar, I don’t even drink that crap!

Alya: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Chloe: I use the wooden stirers to push back my cuticles everyone knows that, Alya.

Adrien: Alright, let’s not fight. I broke it let me pay for it.

Marinette: No. Who broke it?

Nathaniel: Marinette? Marc has been awfully quiet.

Marc: Really?!

Nathaniel: Yeah really!

Everyone: *starts yelling*

Marinette: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it.

Xiao: had it not been for the laws of this land, i would have slaughtered you

Childe: all i did was ask where the bathroom was

tw: clown sex

Barbara, to some Random: remember that Barbatos is always watching 💞

Venti: *literally so fucked up he forgot how to breathe automatically*

Venti: i’d rather encounter multiple women who take astrology too seriously over even one man who genuinely believes in the sigma/alpha/beta male bullshit

Mona: gemini

Venti: never mind, the women are fucking witches there’s no way she could’ve known that

Amber: my mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like three sets of random teeth mixed around

Bennett: my dad kept the dog’s baby teeth but not mine

Xiangling: okay im so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like really funny im so sorry

Childe: what the fuck dogs lose their teeth? also who the fuck keeps baby teeth thats horrific

Razor: my dad kept my baby teeth. and then my second set fell out so i kept those in a little bag and now we both have have a set of my baby teeth

Albedo: wait what? how many sets of teeth do you have im so confused?

Razor: i had three sets of teeth. the dentist said it was fine cause nothing grew out of place but it was weird cause i had them for a few years then they started all coming out at once

Albedo: im sorry you grew teeth like a shark? what?

Chongyun: when i was younger i watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing her baby teeth and crush them all into a powder under the leg of a chair cause she was bored

Xingqiu: excuse me?

Traveler: this entire conversation was like getting punched repeatedly, but from a different angle each time

BAXTER DLC SPOILERS

Baxter just straight up lying throughout his dlc for absolutely no reason is so fucking funny to me. It wasn’t even Shiloh type lying, he just decided to make up fun facts for fun. he’s so me coded

Xiangling: my hungry ass couldn’t be a brain surgeon 💀💀

Chongyun: what do you mean? what do you mean by that?