The Council: Shepard.

Childe: got called gay at headquarters today, lads

La Signora: tell us what happened, lad

Childe: i got called gay at headquarters

Scaramouche: yea but why?

Childe: i was being gay

Scaramouche: at headquarters?

Childe: yea it was at headquarters

On April 27, 2034 at 11:22 pm you will perish in a fire. Be prepared.

On April 27, 2034 at 11:22 pm you’ll join me

Xingqiu: you get turned back into a baby but retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?

Razor: eat a nickel

Xingqiu: a reminder: you have retained all your skills and memory

Razor: eat a nickel

Xingqiu: ok

Xiangling: i hate being high. why do i keep hearing footsteps

Chongyun: are you walking?

Xiangling: oh shit

Xiangling: my hungry ass couldn’t be a brain surgeon 💀💀

Chongyun: what do you mean? what do you mean by that?

Venti: everyone u meet is fighting a battle u know nothing about. be kind ❤️

Diluc: i once saw you punch a girl scout for not having thin mints

Venti: exactly. that was my battle. so be kind

Mammon: self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys

Asmodeus: no self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on makeup if you like it or taking a nice warm nap stuff like that basically

Satan: self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel their bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

Leviathan: self care is taking your birthday cake so i can eat the frosting

Beelzebub: if you touch my birthday cake i’ll make you eat your hands

Adrien: Nino, can you do me a favor?

Nino: I’d kill for you but go on.

Klee: do you still have that giant astronomy coloring book back at your house?

Mona: it’s not a coloring book

Klee: uh oh

Traveler: you ever get so tired you start seeing hilicurls

Bennett: me after i eat 17 weird colored berries and start seeing the hat man

Traveler: THE WHO??

Bennett: oh this is not a safe space suddenly